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Fredrik Thordendal's Special Defects - Sol Niger Within lyrics



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01. Antanca - The End (The Uncompounded Reality)

Music by Fredrik Thordendal
Lyrics by Petter Marklund
"The disease which thus evokes these new and wonderful talents and operations of the mind may be compared to an earthquake which by convulsing the upper strata of our globe, throws upon its surface precious and splendid fossils, the existence of which was unknown to the proprietors of the soil in which they were buried."
- Rush

"I've always been afraid that an animal hides in its silence some terrible secret that we humans seek in vain."
- Pentti Saarikoski

"Know that, by nature, every creature seeks to become like God."
- Meister Eckhart

"The mind is its own place, and of itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."
"The Way of Zen"

. Antanca - The End (The Uncompounded Reality)
"It is the end, without the outflows, the truth, that which is beyond, the subtle one, the hard to see, the unfading one, the stable one, the undecaying one, the invisible one, the taintless one, the peace, the deathless, the excellent one, the blissful one, the sanctuary, the destruction of thirst, the wonderful one, the supranormal one, the one free from calamities, the state of freedom from calamities, the freedom from suffering, the dispassion, the purity, the release, the non-attachment, the refuge, the ultimate shelter, the final protection, the secure."
- Samyutta

1. The Beginning Of The End Of Extraction (Evolutional Slow Down)

2. The Executive Furies Of The Robot Lord Of Death
I'm Seraph, I'm Snake;
Controlled, Pre-Programmed Entrapped Soul.
Extraneous Powers Conditions My Mind.
I'm Vermin, I'm Fake.
Causality Ignores The Persecutory Illusions Of Free Will.
Morality Justifies No Cause.
Beyond Reason; We Eat, Reproduce And Die.
A Genetically Conditioned Psychomotor Machine.
I'm Seraph, I'm Snake; An Evolutionary Mistake

3. Descent To The Netherworld
Entering Hellbound Dominion. Acid Rain.
Human Mortification. Hades Glows Red-Hot.
Howling Mind Accelerates, Trapped In This Time-Knot.
Place There Is None; We Go Backward And Forward, And There Is No Place.
Horror Of Infinity, Internal Draught.
Floor A Tempest, Sanitorium?
Who Are You? Why Are You Here?
No Chemical Aid. No Keys, No Doors, Walls Or Locks.
Wing-Clipped Phoenix, Ashes; You Asshole!

4. ...Och Stjärnans Namn Var Malört
Immolate Reliance; Suffocate Defiance.
(Ephemeral Slimy Fluids, Soft Entrails. Squishy, Squashy Worms, We're Nothing But Germs.)
Cardboard Figure, Skeletal Man. In Venomous Confinement.

New Dawning Of Fate, No Exit From This Torment, Sickness And Hate.
All In Vain, Everlasting Suffering In Pain.

Constricting Steel Headbands, Adrenaline Boil.
Temperature Rise, Pressure Succeed;
In Crushing My Skull, Destroying My Seed.
Divine Epiphany Of Pyrocatharsis.
Internal Ascension To Skyward Domains.
Preparation For Rebirth.

5. Dante's Wild Inferno
"The desire for perfection is that desire which always makes every pleasure appear incomplete, for there is no joy or pleasure so great in this life that it can quench the thirst in our soul."
- Dante Aligheri
"Fixing my gaze upon the eternal light I saw within its depths, bound up with love together in one volume, the scattered leaves of all the universes... within the luminous profound subsistence of that exalted light saw I three circles of three colors yet of one dimension and by the second seemed the first reflected as rainbow is by rainbow, and the third seemed fire that equally from both is breathed."
- Dante Aligheri

6. I, Galactus
My Existence Precedes The Origin Of The Universe.
I, Deliverer Of God, Organizer Of Solar Systems.
Heaven Is Lasting, Earth Is Enduring.
I Am Forever And You Are Of Me.

7. Skeletonization
Sweating, Swirling On Sheets Of Torture Beach.
Malignant Cancer Objects, Impinge Upon Space.
Euclidian Nausea, Dimensions Outraged.
(Limbs Disjointed With Iron Hook. Eyes Torn From Sockets.
Flesh Torn Apart, Scraped Off Them Bones. Bent Out Of Shape.)
Trilogy Of Life Faces Sea Of Death.

8. Sickness And Demoniacal Dreaming
Demons Begin Their March, Down, Down, Deeper Down, Down The Brain Stem.
Bending The Kundalini Sacrum.
Ant Out Of My Behind And Climb Back In.
Tibetan Goddess Ral Gcing Ma:
Show Me Your Spine And Everything's Fine.

9. UFOria
I Sing In Colors:
My Mother Is God, My Father Is God, My Brothers, My Sisters, All Are God.
God To The Right, God To The Left, God Overhead. (God O.D./UFOric Overdose.)
Christ-Encounter Of The Fourth Kind.

10. Z1-Reticuli

11. Transmigration Of Souls
Battle Within Begin, Life After Life, Death After Death.
Suffer, Die, Resurrect. All Those Karmas In My Face.
Further And Further Away From Grace.
Cut To Pieces. Death House Walls Me In.
Bodily Dismemberment, Renewal Of Organs, Celestial Ascent.

12. In Reality All Is Void
"The body is like unto the Bodhi-tree, And the mind to a mirror bright; Carefully we cleanse them hour by hour, Lest dust should fall upon them."
- Shin Hsiu
"Neither is there Bodhi-tree, Nor yet a mirror bright; Since in reality all is void, Whereon can the dust fall?"
- Hui Neng
Blown Out Of Proportion. Perfect-Wrong.
Heathen Distortion, In Diabolical Disguise.
Three-Dimensional Evaporation. Melting Ground.
Liquid Skies Downpouring. Crumbling Into Chaos. Mind Alive?

13. Krapp's Last Tape
"Krapp playing his tapes and muttering his curses is also an image of ourselves turning our memories over in our minds again and again, in a process of distillation. Over time something essential emerges from this saturnine reduction - the gold in the sludge. Saturn was sometimes called sol niger, the black sun. In his darkness there is to be found a precious brilliance, our essential nature, distilled by depression as perhaps the greatest gift of melancholy."
- Samuel Beckett

14. Through Fear We Are Unconscious
Avoiding Reality, We Dare Not To Face The Truth.
We All Lie To Ourselves, Immersed In Deceit.

Biochemical Apparatus, Screened Out From Truth.
Exceedingly Stupid, Slender Debris.
In Ignorance We Are Condemned To Decease.

15. Death At Both Ends
"Inwardly or outwardly, if you encounter any obstacles kill them right away. If you encounter the Buddha, kill him; if you encounter the Patriarch, kill him; ...kill them all without hesitation, for this is the only way to deliverance. Do not get yourselves entangled with any object, but stand above, pass on, and be free!"
- Lin-chi
Parallell Dimensions; On Frequencies Sublime.
Hidden For Millenia To Earthbound Mind, Girdled With Lies.
Reality Until Now, Delusional Abbreviation.
Unearthly Codes Deciphered At Last.
An Eternal Presence. A Moment Without A Past.
Reality Transfigured, Still The Same.
In Deafening Silence, All Things Flow.
A Pulsating Vessel. Presence; Rising, Falling. In And Out.
The Eschaton Is Calling From The End Of Time.

16. Bouncing In A Bottomless Pit

17. The Sun Door
They Can't Fool Me, Wearing Human Faces. They're Nothing But Resonance Frequencies
Escaping The Grasp Of My Mind.
Waveforms Are Spinning Out Of Control.
Leaking Into Parallel Dimensions, My Mind Is Turned Inside Out.
Exteriorized Mind. (Perceptually Overstimulated.) My Insides Are Poring Out. Bombardment
From Outside, (Which Is Now My Inside.)
Unearthly Thought Waves Overcharge My Brain Circuits.

18. Painful Disruption
"I abhor nature... I should like to upset its plane, to thwart its progress, to halt the stars in their courses, to overturn the floating spheres of space, to destroy what serves nature and to succor all that harms it; in a word. to insult it in all its works, and I cannot succeed in doing so."
- Marquis de Sade

19. Vitamin K Experience (A Homage To The Scientist/ John Lilly)
Not Lost, But Gone Before.
Deposited At The Brink Of Time, Across The Borders Of Infinity.
Atomized State, Crystalized Existence, Linear-Time Ignored.
Iridescent Wings Take Me Home.
From Within John Wheelers Hyperspace.
The Secret Disclosed, Neither Body Nor Radiation.
Vanished To Outside Observers, Those Poor Souls Left Behind.

20. Cosmic Vagina Dentata Organ

21. Sensorium Dei
...Dibbacakkhu-pannacakkhu-samanta-cakkhu-buddhacakkhu-dhamma-cakkhu (transl. Pali, 'the most excellent divine eye, eye of knowledge, all-seeing eye, Buddha eye, Dhamma-eye')
God's Eye Point Of View. Neither To Be Born Nor To Perish.
Negation Of Substance. Impermanence Of Being, Everlasting Becoming.
Unconditioned Mind, Expressing Absolute Revelation Of Truth.
Manifested Beyond The Trans-Substantial "I", All Being And Nonbeing, Neither Mind Nor Buddha. In An All-Embracing Immanent End-In-Itself, Paradoxes Are Unveiled. Contradictions Collapses, Where Boundaries Failed. Plunging Into The Vortex Of Darkness Divine, Entering The Void Where All Things Intertwine. This Is The Existence Of The Non-Existence Of Duality Expressing The Radiance Of Ultimate Reality.

22. Magickal Theatre .33.
"Die verwandlung von zeit in raum durch die musik"
- Hermann Hesse

23. Z2-Reticuli

24. De Profundis
"The final mystery is oneself. When one has weighed the sun in the balance, and measured the steps of the moon, and mapped out the seven heavens star by star, there still remains oneself. Who can calculate the orbit of his own soul?"
- Oscar Wilde

25. Existence Out Of Joint
It's Too Late Now. Over The Brink Of The Interior Gravitational Abyss, I Spiral Downwards. Inwards. Torn Apart Into Multiple I's, The Totality Of Which I Used To Perceive As The Absolute Self. All Processes Are Rapidly Slowed Down.
Contracting, Dissolving. Freezing Out. Tidal Gravitational Forces Tend To Infinity. The Godhead Is Pulling Me Beyond The Swartzschild Sphere, The Theoretical Maximal Value For Potential. Spatio-Temporality Inverted. Space And Time Are Turned Inside Out.

26. On A Crater's Verge
"Stars perish in an endless universe. A star falls into its own decay - The call of death, - An end to breath and passion - into the dark void of oblivion leaving behind a gulf against the shore of space and time, a crater of gloom cocooned within the stellar dust. This hungry maw of other, new-wrought world would dwarf the dreaded gap of Dante's wild inferno. This endless, worldless, spherical abyss where time and space are madly mixed, where all roads lead to dire annihilation, where the black wind roars large and everywhere... a maelstrom of stellar dust, stock-still - a guard of honour on a crater's verge."
- Marina Katys

27. Solarization
I've Become The Nuclear Image Of Eternity. I'm The Original Stuff. All The Universes Find Their Pattern In My Being, For I'm The Cosmic Infinitesmal. I'm The Source, I'm The Fountain, Exploding In Your Face. (With A Flick Of My Wrist A New Cosmos Begins.) How Glorious To Be Alive. Be Here With Me Now In Timeless Micro-Infinity.
Reality Now An Oceanic Flow Of Particles In Everchanging Patterns, Panta Rei. Undulating Within The Ultimate Core Of Self, Which Is No-Self.
Inside This Boundless Thought Wave, All Is One And One Is God. (Truth Is One, Sui Generis)

"This becoming of one instead of two was the very expression of mankind's ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love"
- Plato
"Working for the hole, I'll get a mule to foal, I'm the uninited mole, The errant lawless soul, I pop out here, and I pop out there, I have no human goal, I'm a singularity, I have no human MEEE, No man can pay my fee, No man can set me free, I'm a lock without a key, A singularity"
- William S Burroughs
Everything Is Coming In Waves And From All Sides.
Nuclear, Molecular And Cellular Layers. Modular Wave-Hierarchies.
Epi-Phenomenon Of The Ground-Of-Being Of All Other Grounds-Of-Being.
In A Fractal Involution, The Reversal Of Evolution, Becoming Is Absolute.
Time Is Dying A Slow Death. The Eschaton Is Near. I'm Collapsing Into The Void Of This Sacramentalized Frequency. Sinking Below Its Event Horizon, I'm Plunging Into An Ideational Singularity; Propelling Towards The Neuro-Galactic Center, The Transcendental Nexus Of Self And World.
A Cosmic Junction Where On A Physical Level; Matter And Anti-Matter Merge Into Eachother, Into Emptiness And On A Psychic Level God And Self Are Inextricably Intertwined.

28. The End Of The Beginning Of Contraction (Involutional Speed Up/Preparation For The Big Crunch)
I'm Imploding Into Myself, Mygod. Oh, God. I'm Home...

"Where are we really going? Always home."
- Novalis
"Of final time itself we see nothing. There is only God..."
- Van Der Leeuw
Tathagata - cakkhuvinnanadhatu ...yathabhutam, yathabhutam, yathabhutam, yathabhutam, yathabhutam... (transl. Pali, 'thus-gone - the visual cognition as it really is')

29. Tathagata
"All living beings are the interior of the Tathagata, i.e. are within the Tathagata.
Secondly, it is explained that as reality is an undifferentiated whole, the Tathagata is identical with the inner essence (Garbha) of living beings, and Tathagatagarbha thus is a name for the hidden suchness (Tathata) of living beings.
Thirdly, it is said that the inner essence of living beings is the essence or embryo of the Tathagata meaning that the cause of Tathagatahood lies in every being."

- Jikido Takasaki

02. The Executive Furies Of The Robot Lord Of Death

I'm seraph. I'm snake.
controlled. pre-programmed entrapped soul.
extraneous powers conditions my mind.
I'm vermin. I'm fake.
causality ignores the persecutory illutions of free will.
morality justifies no cause.
beyond reason: we eat. reproduce and die.
a genetically conditioned psychomotor machine.
I'm seraph. I'm snake. an evolutionary mistake.

03. Descent To The Netherworld

Entering hellbound dominion. Acid rain.
Human mortification. Hades glows red-hot.
Howling mind accelerates. Trapped in this time-knot.
Place there is none: we go backward and forward. And there is no place.
Horror or infinity. Internal draught
Floor a tempest. Sanitorium?
Who are you? Why are you here?
No chemical aid. No keys. No doors. Walls or locks.
Wing-dipped phoenix. Ashes: you asshole!

04. ...Och Stjärnans Namn Var Malört

Immolate reliance: suffocate defiance.
(ephemeral slimy fluids. Soft entrails. Squishy. Squashy worms. We're
Nothing but germs.)
Cardboard figure. Skeletal man. In venomous confinement.

New dawning of fate. No exit from this torment. Sickness and hate.
All in vain. Everlasting suffering in pain.

Constricting steel headbands. Adrenaline boil.
Temperature rise. Pressure succeed.
In crushing my skull. Destroying my seed.
Divine epiphany of pyrocatharsis.
Internal ascension to skyward domains.
Preparation for rebirth.

06. I, Galactus

My existence precedes the origin of the universe
I, deliverer of god. Organizer of solar systems.
Heaven is lasting. Earth is enduring.
I am forever and you are of me.

07. Skeletonization

Sweating. Swirling on sheets of torture beach.
Malignant cancer objects. Impinge upon space.
Euclidean nausea. Dimensions outraged.
(Limbs disjointed with iron hook. Eyes torn from sockets.
Flesh torn apart. Scraped off them bones. Bent out of shape.)
Trilogy of life faces sea of death.

08. Sickness And Demoniacal Dreaming

Demons begin their march. Down. Down. Deeper down. Down the brain stem.
Bending the kundalini sacrum.
Ant out of my behind and climb back in.
Tibetan goddess ral gcing ma:
Show me your spine and everything's fine.

09. UFOria

I sing in colors.
My mother is god. My father is god. My brothers. My sisters. All are god.
God to the right. God to the left. God overhead (god o.d./uforia overdose.)
Christ-encounter of the fourth kind.

11. Transmigration Of Souls

Battle within begin. Life after life. Death after death.
Suffer. Die. Resurrect. All those karmas in my face.
Further and further away from grace.
Cut to pieces. Death house walls me in.
Bodily dismemberment. Renewal of organs. Celestial ascent.

12. In Reality All Is Void

Blown out of proportion. Perfect-wrong
Heathen distortion. In diabolical disguise.
Three-dimensional evaporation. Melting ground.
Liquid skies downpouring. Crumbling into chaos. Mind alive?

14. Through Fear We Are Unconscious

Avoiding reality. We dare not to face the truth.
We all lie to ourselves. Immersed in deceit.
Biochemical apparatus. Screened out from truth.
Exceedingly stupid. Slender debris.
In ignorance we are condemned to decease.

15. Death at Both Ends

Parallel dimensions: on frequencies sublime.
Hidden for millenia to earthbound mind. Girded with lies.
Reality until now. Delusional abbreviation.
Unearthly codes deciphered at last.
An eternal presence. A moment without a past.
Reality transfigured. Still the same.
In deafening silence. All things flow.
A pulsating vessel. Presence: rising. Falling. In and out.
The eschaton is calling from the end of time.

17. The Sun Door

They can't fool me. Wearing human faces. They're nothing but resonance
Frequencies escaping the grasp of my mind.
Waveforms are spinning out of control.
Leaking into parallel dimensions. My mind is turned inside out.
Exteriorized mind. (perceptually overstimulated.) My insides are pouring
Out.
Bombardment from outside. (which is now my inside.)
Unearthly thought waves overcharge my brain circuits.

19. Vitamin K Experience (A Homage To The Scientist/John Lilly)

Not lost. But gone before.
Deposited at the brink of time. Across the borders of infinity.
Atomized state. Crystalized existence. Linear-time ignored.
Indescent wings take me home.
From within john wheelers hyperspace.
The secret disclosed. Neither body nor radiation.
Vanished to outside observers. Those poor souls left behind.

21. Sensorium Dei

...Dibbacakkhu-pannacakkhu-samanta-cakkhu-buddhacakkhu-dhamma-cakkhu (transl. Pali, 'the most excellent divine eye, eye of knowledge, all-seeing eye, Buddha eye, Dhamma-eye')
God's Eye Point Of View. Neither To Be Born Nor To Perish.
Negation Of Substance. Impermanence Of Being, Everlasting Becoming.
Unconditioned Mind, Expressing Absolute Revelation Of Truth.
Manifested Beyond The Trans-Substantial Â"IÂ", All Being And Nonbeing, Neither Mind Nor Buddha. In An All-Embracing Immanent End-In-Itself, Paradoxes Are Unveiled. Contradictions Collapses, Where Boundaries Failed. Plunging Into The Vortex Of Darkness Divine, Entering The Void Where All Things Intertwine. This Is The Existence Of The Non-Existence Of Duality Expressing The Radiance Of Ultimate Reality.

25. Existence Out Of Joint

It's too late now. Over the brink of the interior gravitational abyss. I
Spiral downwards.
Inwards. Torn apart into multiple i's. The totality of which i used to
Perceive as the absolute self. All processes are rapidly slowed down.
Contracting. Dissolving. Freezing out. Tidal gravitational forces tend to
Infinity. The godhead is pulling me beyond the swartzschild sphere. The
Theoretical maximum value for potential.
Spatio-temporality inverted. Space and time are turned inside out.

27. Solarization

I've become the nuclear image of eternity i'm the original stuff. All the
Universes find their pattern in my being. For i'm the cosmic infinitesmal.
I'm the source. I'm the fountain. Exploding in your face. (with a flick of
My wrist a new cosmos begins.) How glorious to be alive. Be here with me now
In timeless micro-infinity.

Reality now an oceanic flow of particles in everchanging patterns. Panta
Rei. Undulating within the ultimate core of self. Which is no-self. Inside
This boundless thought wave. All is one and one is god. (truth is one. Sui
Generis)

Everything is coming in waves and from all sides. Nuclear. Molecular and
Cellular layers. Modular wave-hierarchies. Epi-phenomenon of the
Ground-of-being of all other grounds-of-being. In a fractual involution. The
Reversal of evolution. Becoming is absolute. Time is dying a slow death. The
Eschaton is near. I'm into an ideational singularity: propelling towards the
Neuro-galatic center, the transcendental nexus of self and world. A cosmic
Junction where on a physical level: matter and anti-matter merge into each
Other. Into emptiness and on a psychic level god and self are inextricably
Intertwined.

28. The End Of The Beginning Of Contraction (Involutional Speed Up/Preparation For The Big Crunch)

I'm imploding into myself. My god. Oh. God. I'm home...

Tathagata - cakkhuvinnanadhatu ...yathabhutam. Yathabhutam. Yathabhutam.
Yathabhutam. Yathabhutam...
[transl. Pali 'thus-gone - the visual cognition as it really is']