Tracks

01. Anhedonia
02. Without Red Hands
03. Through The Madness
04. Machine
05. Acts Of Reparation
06. Fear Of The Unknown
07. Black Circles
08. Proverb Le Jame
09. Where The Dead Grow
10. Egostatic
11. Ever Enhancing II



01. Anhedonia

So many years searching my life
Don't let me down,
I keep letting me down
Washing away, craving my time
I keep craving more time

I keep hiding away, searching for answers
Believing the lie, delusional dream
Tortured by needs, strengthened by weakness
Engraved in the mind

Something that frightens
and weakens within
Anhedonia...Anhedonia

Thoughts swept away my force-fed existence,
creating new life
Deliver me now!
Triggered by pain, corrupting my weakness
Engaging new life

Something that frightens
and weakens within
Hide away...can you feel
that you are more than you know?
Than you know...

Something that frightens
and weakens within
We realize that we don't feel alive
Anhedonia (I don't feel alive)...Anhedonia
Hide away, can you feel
that you are more than you know?


02. Without Red Hands

Misery, best friends with lonely
Well, how can it be?
Looking out from here
should way be gone by now

You left me with nothing
Your pretty face is tempting
I gotta find my way out of here

Don't even think you can
leave without red hands
You only fortify your pain
Pain! Pain!
Looking out from here
should way be gone by now

I am the combination
of indulgence and self-deception
And the weight holding down
What was it like without you around?
Oh...I remember, I remember

Without you with me
You were never part of me!
You were never part of me!

And the weight holding down
What was it like without you around?
Oh...I remember, yeah, I remember
Without you with me
You were never part of me!


03. Through The Madness

You're everything I wish to be
and everything you have,
you seem to take for granted
When I saw you through the madness,
you just stared at me blankly,
crucified my love
Severed from these ties again
You have taken far too long

When I saw you through the madness
and the distance in your face
If I trust in you,
would you be there diluted and erased?

Now I see you with the weak,
blindly sifting away
This is not from me
Did I torment you with madness?
My baby, if only you knew
Severed from these ties again
You have taken far too long

When I saw you through the madness
and the distance in your face
If I trust in you,
would you be there diluted and erased?
You just stared at me blankly
When I trust in you,
would you be there diluted and erased?

Loaded, you can't let go
You left me; I left you alone

This madness, I'm sorry
I still need, just let me
You just stared at me blankly
This madness, I'm sorry
I still need, just let me
And I saw you through the madness
and the distance in your face
And if I trust in you,
would you be there diluted and erased?


04. Machine

Why won't you listen to me?
'Cause I can't figure it out,
wanting more unless you're tied
You never listen to me,
therefore, you and I
decide to stay or divide

Why can't we reset?
Too much to forget

Just because you don't feel lonely,
forget feelings
Empty TV screens gently bleeding
When it wants it, you just let it,
always still too much to stay
Cannot leave you alone,
but cannot leave you here this way

Why can't we reset?
Too much to forget

Did I leave you alone?
No more listening, there's so many more
I'm just scared, I don't wanna hear it
I'm tired, I wanna delete it more
No more...why should I stay?!
Machine!

No more listening, no more,
no more keeping clean
Now go away: I'll never
I thought you wanted me to stay

Why can't we reset?
Too much to forget?

Did I leave you alone?
No more listening, there's so many more
I'm just scared, I don't wanna hear it
I'm tired, I wanna delete it more
No more...why should I stay?!
Machine!

No more!
Leave you wanting more, more, more!


05. Acts Of Reparation

Daylight, I'm still awake,
Consciously asleep,
wrapped in my disbelief
Poisoned by my mistakes,
tearing life from me
How could I fall away?

We will always search for something more,
but it's easier to drown inside
the fear of growing old
Some things are harder
to let go too far away,
too far away from all the lies

Buried, I can't escape
Boxed in my self-hate
How could I fall away?
All that comforts me, all who treasure me
All that I've turned away

We will always search for something more,
but it's easier to drown inside
the fear of growing old
Some things are harder
to let go too far away,
too far away from all the lies

With the act of reparation, you denied
You were torn between the lies you've left behind

All I want is a reaction
I test pain for pleasure
You won't touch me
I just want to feel something,
anything at all

We will always search for something more,
but it's easier to drown inside
the fear of growing old
Some things are harder
to let go too far away,
too far away from all the lies
Too far away from all the lies


06. Fear Of The Unknown

In my mind, there is more than me
Laughing, I feel your hand
stronger around my neck,
choking my final breath
My fear is leeching my freedom
My fear, it capacitates
My fear has nothing to do with me,
yet only I can feel its grip
The ultimatum blinds me

Slowly, I feel myself bleeding
into what I know is
something more than us

So scared of what's behind
Give me my peace of mind
My fear is leeching my freedom
My fear, it capacitates
My fear has nothing to do with me,
yet only I can feel its grip

Slowly, I feel myself bleeding
into what I know is
something more than us

You won't break me!
My fear is leeching my freedom
My fear, it capacitates
My fear has nothing to do with me
You will never kill me!

Now that I have let you go,
I've seen what you have taken
The wasted time and all the lies
you drained from me
Now I'm climbing out and I shall defy you
It's time to look me in the eye
I crush your power, your hold on me
So long! Say goodbye!

The ultimatum blinds me

Slowly, I feel myself bleeding
into what I know is
something more than us


07. Black Circles

Now I've tried to find my understanding
Out of time, came to find
that it lied in me, in me

Not yet! Show me your face
I'm spinning into black circles

I've danced, I've lied amongst the living
I've taken more than my share of blame

Not yet! Show me your face
I'm spinning into black circles
Now just show me your face
I'm spinning into black circles

I drew a line and crossed right over
My hands are stuck to this cruel disorder
Disorder!

Not yet! Show me your face
I'm spinning into black circles
Now just show me your face
I'm spinning into black circles
I'm spinning into black circles
Now just show me your face
I'm spinning into black circles


08. Proverb Le Jame

The face that hides the man
from knowing who he really is
A face that can't be seen
Behind it lies the scars still burning me
No one must know!

I wait beneath the stairs,
deciding who to borrow for my maim
My face, my scars will slowly decompose
I blame you, God

With all I knew, I tried to bleed from you,
and all I ever wanted was a story

No one must know!
The stain, the guilt, the blame
The body holds the wounds
that burn in me
My face, my scars will slowly decompose,
and I blame you, God

With all I knew, I tried to bleed from you,
and all I ever wanted was a story (story)
What have I become?
No one must know!

With all I knew, I tried to bleed from you,
and all I ever wanted
All I knew, I tried to bleed from you,
and all I ever wanted was a story
All from you,
and all I ever wanted was a story


09. Where The Dead Grow

Even my arms surrender
Once again we bleed
A sea of dead demanding
Yesterday was easy
No one's home!

I can't divide - not seeing me
Where the dead grow - demanding me
See brains on fire, it's choking me
See flames burn higher, demanding me

I'm blind another day
My bones are shallow
And now I'm standing
where the dead grow

To see inside the vacant lounge
of being in your mind
Just look aside
while I look out front through your eyes
No one can prove to me
this is all there is inside
You're wonderful,
but sometimes I am blind

Don't you know this takes away? So long
A city in the grave
and bodies made of stone
We have to go away
No one...no one

I'm blind another day
My bones are shallow
And now I'm standing
where the dead grow

To see inside the vacant lounge
of being in your mind
Just look aside
while I look out front through your eyes
No one can prove to me
this is all there is inside
You're wonderful,
but sometimes I am blind

See brains on fire, it's choking me
See flames burn higher, demanding me
To see inside the vacant lounge
of being in your mind
Just look aside
while I look out front through your eyes
No one can prove to me
this is all there is inside
You're wonderful,
but sometimes I am blind

More!
I see it today, a city in the grave,
and in thought of how I'm made
No, there has to be more
More...there has to be more!


10. Egostatic

When you lie, you lie to me
and take away the things
that I have made
Can you look at me?
So now you're crawling back?
So you wanna be the king?

Stolen from your own illusion
The soul in your eyes
The enemy itself: yourself!
So you wanna be the king
and throw it all away,
and now you're standing still?

If you lose yourself in greed,
buy yourself a higher place to stand
Look down at me
So now you're crawling back?

So you wanna be the king
and throw it all away,
and now you're standing still?
You take your time,
and I won't keep you in my mind
Your hate, I'm blind

What we are, where we've gone,
what we've seen, where we've been
Let me have just one more
of a chance to begin
Let me out of this hole
that I've dug for myself
One more chance to begin

You only let yourself be
You only let yourself
You only let yourself go away
'cause you only have yourself

You only let yourself be
You only let yourself
You only let yourself go away

What we are, where we've gone,
what we've seen, where we've been
Let me have just one more
of a chance to begin
Let me out of this hole
that I've dug for myself
One more chance to begin

One more chance to begin
(Gone away...gone away)


11. Ever Enhancing II

Fatal memories, they come and go
A life of letdowns, they feed my foe
You came, you saw,
you stopped me from falling
You came, you saw,
you reached out your hand

My sorrow, my blunder,
I cast into the sea
A whole new distinction
ascribed to me
You came, you saw,
you sheltered me through the attack
You came, you saw,
you reached out your hand

Always kept it real, close to me now
Why did you all go far away?
Keep it real close to me now
Why did you all go far away?
Please don't walk away

Fatal memories, they come and they go...