Tracks

01. The Anatomy Of A Nervous Breakdown: On The Sideline
02. The Anatomy Of A Nervous Breakdown: The Limbic System
03. Wild Card
04. Precibus
05. Nothing
06. The Anatomy Of A Nervous Breakdown: Neurasthenia
07. Distorted Lullabies
08. Amendatory
09. I Can Become
10. Misery's No Crime
11. Wolf And Dog
12. Sins



01. The Anatomy Of A Nervous Breakdown: On The Sideline

Standing on the sideline, see the life I live passing me by.
I look inside but can't go in.
Standing on the side while staring at myself, again I wonder.
Who am I?

Let me go! Flee; far away from the life I once knew.
Let me fall, deep down!
The truth will be down there to pick me back up.
Freeze time... for now...

Standing on the sideline, as an alien.
It's weird to feel; who's that girl?
Standing here, so broken I'm too tired to grasp: that was me,
I was so self-assured!

Just let me go! Drift far away from the life I once knew.
Let me fall, deep down!
The truth will be down there to pick me back up.
My own fear has brought me here.
Stand there alone on the sideline of life while it moved on.

Me, that person, I look so astray.
Re-inventing myself? I mimic in my search for me.
Like a doll on string I move. Like a marionette of a lost soul.
I am in there somewhere but for now I stay right here.

I'm on the sideline!

Just let me go! Drift far away from the life I once knew.
Let me fall, deep down!
The truth will be down there to pick me back up.
My own fear has kept me there.
Standing alone on the sideline of life while it moved on.
This made me so humble! I'll stay a little while longer.


02. The Anatomy Of A Nervous Breakdown: The Limbic System

Sounds creep softly into my ears.
Deafening as it's exploding in my head.
No silent peace.
My head keeps making symphonies of deluded thoughts.

Thoughts and dreams and music.
Streaming endless, they are stuck in my head!

Open nerves, they're killing me.
Enlarging everything.
My mind explodes; it's burning up and scaring me.
Nothing feels the same,
So strong it shuts me down, so strong I lost control.

Emotions creep slowly into my heart, not just my own,
I pick up every signal.
Inflamed and sore.
My heart keeps making tragedies of diminutive things.
My everything hurts!
My system burns!

Sounds and words and memories.
They captured me, they're stuck in my head!

Open nerves, they're killing me.
Enlarging everything.
My mind explodes; it's burning up and scaring me.
Nothing feels the same. So strong it shuts me down.

Open nerves!
They're showing me the truth by force.
My body's completely drained.
And primitive emotions can thrive.
Goodbye 'control'.

I feel more pain.
My system forces me to.
A mental twist to fear all I can become... I can become!

Open nerves, they're killing me.
Enlarging everything.
My mind explodes; it's burning up and scaring me.
Nothing feels the same.
As it shuts me down. A signal I can't defy.
They're showing me the truth by force.
My body's completely drained.
And primitive emotions can thrive.
Goodbye 'control'.
Goodbye illusion...


03. Wild Card

Fool to believe this is all you get when you start talking to me.
You'll find out that there is more than meets the eye.
But will you see what I mean?
Come on dear, do you dare or are you empty hearted?

You'll see the fire.
Desire's furtive flames.
You'll see them lurking in the dark.
Ignore the poison.
It's a diverting test.
I can be sweet behind the facade.

But what's the truth?
I don't seem angelic.
Seduction's a mind trick.
And I'm quite a player!
You'll freeze or you burn, now do you dare me for a ride?

Hear soothing words,
They can be like honey
But they falsely seduce
For you haven't looked me deep in the eye.
Oh, I can please.
But I can also try to make your worst nightmare come alive.

But what's the truth?
I don't seem angelic.
Seduction's a mind trick and I'm quite a player.

You'll freeze or you burn.
But aren't I intriguing?
Two faced, a wild card.
A dangerous impulse; you can't fight it.
Now do you dare me for a ride?

Luscious hearts. Your wild card. Tempting.
Erratic minds. Your wild card. Do you play?

Make up my mind.
Fight the demons inside.
Be the light or the dark or the safe grey; choose a side.
Angelically blind.
The naive girl entwined with seduction.
Confined to nothing but prejudice.


04. Precibus

Alter slowly, freeze in time.
Leisurely we decline.
Caught in routine we fall asleep.

Change tomorrow, find your way.
Try to learn from yesterday.
Face yourself.
Traditions revised.

We see our lives unfold, a mere excuse.
Taken for granted, blinded we live.
We see our dreams die out, no substitutes.
Only at the precibus we change.
At the precibus...

See the daily state you're in and reflect.
You see how thin your being becomes.
Behaviour returns.

We see our lives unfold, a mere excuse.
Taken for granted, blinded we live.
We see our dreams die out, no substitutes.
Only at the precibus we change.

At the sight of destruction.
At the dawn of devastation.
We change course; we grow stronger.

We stand tall!
Only when we fall.

We see our lives unfold, a mere excuse.
Taken for granted, blinded we live.
We see our dreams die out, no substitutes.
Only at the precibus we change.
At the precibus...


05. Nothing

It's the truth against my heart or just my heart against it all, it's hard to tell
It's my will against myself, my body failed to keep it up, it's hard to see
But I couldn't bear my own state
Couldn't bear the sight
So I hid myself and stood strong

Until I had nothing left
Nothing, no
I was forced to let it go
Feel what I had done to wrong myself, destroy myself
In the run to greater goods
I forgot to love me

It's a choice until that's gone and it is gone 'cause I was blind, I see that now
A choice to stop and see myself, a choice to stop in time to save what's left of me
But I just couldn't see my true state
I couldn't bear the sight
So I hid the truth and went on

Until I had nothing left
Nothing, no
I was forced to let it go
Feel what I had done to wrong myself, destroy myself
In the run to greater goods
I was blinded

Nothing anymore
Nothing left
Nothing, no
I was forced to let it go
Feel what I had done to wrong myself, destroy myself
In the run to greater goods
I forgot to love me


06. The Anatomy Of A Nervous Breakdown: Neurasthenia

Can I beat my heart that's warning me? All signals turned red.
Can I cheat on time? Slow it down while I clear my head.

I think you know the answer.
Locked inside your heart.
I am the devil inside you.
Your angels lost the fight.

Silence; a divine dream I have.
Inner piece; long lost while I faded.

it is war inside me.
And I'm losing ground. (You stopped feeling while you kept on running.)
I'm gone.
Fading while ambitions burn.
And passion dies with every fight I (you) loose, my (your) demons dance.
Let your demons dance!

Can I change my ways? Allow the voice that tells me to stop.
Can I heal myself? Slow me down to return my strength.

Dare to see the truth in your heart.
Face yourself; embrace all you lack.

it is war inside me.
And I'm losing ground. (You stopped feeling while you kept on running.)
I'm gone.
Fading while ambitions burn.
And passion dies with every fight I (you) loose, my (your) demons dance.
Let your demons dance!

A thousand voices speak like a memory.
Bits and pieces; sound like a melody.
Dear angel, you've been gone too long and there're demons making
their own song.
Master my will; scream to stop me now!
No more left to give.
Now!
Demons dance tonight...

if you'd allow exhaustion.
if you'd allow to feel.
I am the warning inside you.
The limit's crossed; you pay.

Balance, a remote dream I have.
Inner faith, long lost while I changed.

it is war inside me.
And I'm losing ground. (You stopped feeling while you kept on running.)
I'm lost, alone.
Let this war set you free.
Learn the lesson why you're here.
I stopped feeling as I kept on running.
Fading while ambitions burn.
And passion died in every fight I (you) lost. While demons dance...


07. Distorted Lullabies

True hearts.
True pain.
True lies to keep it away.

Hold on to careful deceit.
Fake your way out, you defeat every emotion with lucid words.

Fair minds.
Fair thoughts.
Fair doubts we thoroughly hide.

Hold on to words we can't say.
Spineless we keep them away.
Don't dare to show the pain they bear.

How can we show what's inside.
While all we feel tries to hide behind our reason and manner.
Stone cold hearts.

Anxious.
Oblivious.
Sheltered from our uncontrolled hearts.

Hold on to wishful believe.
Minds should give hearts some relieve.
Balance is hard to achieve, we're trained machines.

How can we show what's inside.
While all we feel tries to hide behind our reason.

and manner.
Confined hearts.

Frozen minds.
Stone cold heart.
Loveless lullabies.
Broken, distorted, confined.
We're lost!

Broken!
Confined!
Loveless; a song for the cold lost heart!

Feel more.
Dare more.
See more when your guard is down.

Hold on to words while we lie.
Distorted lullabies.
Play the sad music of our restrained hearts.

How can we show what's inside.
While all we feel tries to hide behind our reason and manner.
Confined hearts.


08. Amendatory

So mirror. What is it you see today?
A reflection yes, magically looking like mine.
The chameleon. A princess, a fighter, the 'wild at heart'. They are all the same.
A character shaped by the raggedness of life.

Oh, look again. Eyes mirror the heart. It can color and alter, amendable throughout my life. Resilient 'till I die.

So wisdom. What is it you learned today?
An epiphany. Magically changing my mind.
The 'I know it all'. The unsure, a dreamer, the cynic. They are all the same.
A character formed by the choices of life.

Oh, look again. Eyes mirror the heart. It can color and alter, amendable throughout my life. Resilient 'till I die.

Strong I look, broken I can be. Love what I lost, lost what I don't need. Break down to grow. Change your ways to stay sharp. Embrace yourself.
My amended heart.

Heart. Amend your life. Revise it.

Strive. Revive your heart. Empower it again.

So mindful. Live in the here and the now.
A character changed by the currents of life.

Oh, look again. Eyes mirror the heart. It can color and alter, amendable throughout my life. Changed in time.


09. I Can Become

It's taking the most of me. I lost connection. Drifting again.
I feel what I want to feel. I change when I have to. Ravage serenity inside.
Wake me up!

It's breaking down what I build. I remain restless. Continuous mission.
My mind shapes what I should feel. Natural blindness to inner wishes.
Basic denial.

Who I am has changed in time.
Don't hold on to what once was.
Open to all I can become.

It's tearing up peace I found. I cannot calm down. Wandering again.
I feel what I need to feel. A genuine detour. Is this my way to keep it up?

Who I am has changed in time.
Don't hold on to what once was.
Open to all I can become.

Who I am has changed in time.
Don't hold on to what once was.

Open to all I can become.

Who I am. A quest for life.
Hold on to who I've become.
Open to all I have inside.


10. Misery's No Crime

Face it, rage out!
Here's my darkest heart.
Feel it, bleed out!
Weak by darkened thoughts.
Feed it, wear out!
I am nothing but a shell.
Loathe it, cry out!
An inner scream that's lost.

I feel it.
I bare it.

Agony's no sin; embrace it.
Misery's no crime; concede it.
It's my pain...

Hide it, play nice.
Here's my sunny smile.
Blind it, look strong.
It's more real once others see.
Fake it, stay cool.
Keep the pain inside your mind.
Pretend you're tough.
And keept the truth deep down in slumber.

Agony's no sin; embrace it.
Misery's no crime; concede it.

Never keep it in; accept it.
Misery's no crime; allow it.

My pain. It's mine to feel.
My rage, my obsessions, my exhaustion, my grief, my disappointments,
my loss, my insecurity, my wounds, my anguish, my misery!

Agony's no sin; embrace it.
Misery's no crime; concede it.
Never keep it in; accept it.
Misery's no crime; allow it.


11. Wolf And Dog

This will be the death of me. The silence.
Peace without a battle won. No hardship.
Safety such an empty state.
Suffocated by my fate I slumber.

The hunt will make my blood run wild. Embrace me.
Roam the earth to feed my mind. So lonesome.

Hear the wolves howl. Louder! Louder!
Hear the dogs cry. Howling! Howling!

Ravage the silence within. Before the sleep becomes eternally.
Lead me away from the calm.
But keep the door open for I will come home.

Inner peace, a complex wish.
Balancing extremes within.
Erratic but with deep devotion.
A vast range of intense emotions.

Bipolar, I am two in one.
My two sides fought but not one won.

My wolf and dog ...
Ravage the silence within. Before the sleep becomes eternally.

Lead me away from the calm. Feed me!
Caress the heart that beats wild. But feel my soul; so close, it's always there.
Let me run free but keep the door open for I will come home.

Hear the wolves howl. Louder! Louder!
Hear the dogs cry. Howling! Howling!

Selfish in its passions lust.
Righteous with impulsive gusts.
Feed the wolf and feed the dog.
The death of one's the death of both.

My wolf and dog...
Ravage the silence within. Before the sleep becomes eternally.
Lead me away from the calm. Feed me!
Caress the heart that beats wild. But feel my soul; so close, it's always there.
Let me run free but keep the door open for I will come home.


12. Sins

Lust!
Dare your sins.
Don't sooth what bums within.
it's an avid glow.
Loath!
Despise your sins.
Let grimness rise within.
Face your darkest side.
I know...

Modern sins.
We're empty inside.
Timeless crime's enticing.
Deadly sins.
Mere games today.

Greed!
Defy our sins.
The scorn that grows within.
As a hungry wolf.
Sloth!
Deny our sins.
Don't care what lies within.
Failures at your side.
I know...

Modern sins.
We're empty inside.
Timeless crime's enticing.
Deadly sins.
Mere games today.
And we all play...

What did we do?
Why did we stray?
What has changed to make all these sins easier every day?
Brazen and lost?
Repented and blessed?
Modern sins are deadly still even though we play.

Modern sins.
We're empty inside.
Timeless crime still charms us.
Deadly sins.
Mere games today.
Shameless we play...