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April Fools...


HAHAHAHAHHA HO HO HOHOHOHOHOO HEHEHHEHEHEHHEE!

(takes a deep breath)

(resumes rolling around the floor, laughing hysterically until my eyes water and my gut aches)

HEHHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHOOOHOHOOO!

So April 2nd is upon us and our annual April Fool's joke is over and done with. Kind of.

Now that much fretting has been done, threats hurled, legal battles (how Gorgoroth of Fire of us) challenged, contract killers allegedly hired and bribed, we'll help sort out what's true and what isn't from the smoking carnage of the day's fun fun fun.

Metalstorm.ee is now Metalstorm.net: This is completely true. It clearly says so right at the end of our web address in your browser. With the .net domain we hope to be viewed as more of the international website that Metal Storm is, rather than a localised Estonian site to those in the industry unfamiliar with our happy home.

Also of note, the technical issues will be dealt with. Ivor is hard at work on terminating said bugs. With extreme prejudice. Unexpected shit is cropping up, so it's a matter of uncovering it then dealing with it. If you experience any bugs, let the man know. It's a lot of work, but that's why he makes the big bucks. And by big bucks, I mean nothing but your undying gratitude for his efforts.

We sold out: Not true. The notion that anyone could believe that is laughable - whether the date is April 1st or August 49th? thanks to downloading, etc, there is no money in metal. Certainly not enough for Lucas to score some coke to snort off a stripper's backside, let alone buy a fleet of BMW's for staff members.

Mr. T is still a B.A. - Big Asshole: This is entirely true. Thryce is still a big asshole.

Ivor pulled the plug : This is also true. But not because he hadn't received payment. He just did it to fuck with you and make this whole ruse more believable. With that action, he might have passed me to be Vice-Asshole, the second in command to take the asshole reins should something happen to Thryce.

Tokio Hotel Review: is a joke. The fact it came from the guy who brought you a review referring to Britney Spears as the kvltest of the black metal kvlt in a prior year should have tripped some "bullshit!" alerts. Even if you missed out on the Spears joke, just the fact that Bas scored an album with a number higher than the value of Pi should have been a dead giveaway.

Pat Boone Review: that one is not a joke. I own the album, have for over a decade, and like it. I had actually written it a couple days ago, but as our plans started to crystallize, the notion of delaying posting as it might seem to be in-line with our new attitude made me opt to do just that.

Marcel Leaving Metalstorm: This is true. He's leaving us for a couple hours while sleeping off his latest drunk, but should be back tomorrow.


We will be charging for memberships: This is entirely not true. Or "tr00", for that matter.

Jup, Momo, and Doc hired a legal team: This is true, but not to prosecute a lawsuit against the MS Staff, but rather for defense following their alleged involvement in a ring that was illegally trafficking potatoes across international borders.

Dethklok not getting turned "on" as a featured band: Not just no, but hell no.

A hitman was hired to "neutralize" pro$$$ $taff members: True. Hopefully he got the "ABORT! ABORT!" text in time. On that note, we still haven't heard from Ivan in a while and are getting worried. Of course, he might just be off raising his metal cows rather than lying dead and bleeding in a gutter somewhere with a sack full of silver dollars in his mouth and a battle axe sticking out of his back. If you see him, please let us know!

Thanks all for your participation - I'm not sure which was funnier, reading staff/eliters calling each other all sorts of names, or folks who seemed to buy the whole charade.

Now back to your regularly scheduled Metal programming.
Posted: 02.04.2010 by BitterGOld


Comments page 2 / 2

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Comments: 47   [ 3 ignored ]   Visited by: 375 users
02.04.2010 - 13:22
advent

Tokyo Hotel,,,,oh man:o

anyway i liked .ee more;D
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02.04.2010 - 13:23
Baz Anderson

Written by Bad English on 02.04.2010 at 12:33

what do you mean whit password?
i only cluck on log in box and its automaticly shown username and ******************** so i log in
even I shood write for new whehn they switch from ee to ner now its clicking again

That is your browser saving your email and password.
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02.04.2010 - 13:25
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Written by Baz Anderson on 02.04.2010 at 13:23

Written by Bad English on 02.04.2010 at 12:33

what do you mean whit password?
i only cluck on log in box and its automaticly shown username and ******************** so i log in
even I shood write for new whehn they switch from ee to ner now its clicking again

That is your browser saving your email and password.


Yes it has do it all time since I have PC and Im memberhere
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''
apos;'
[image]
I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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02.04.2010 - 13:54
Ag Fox
Angel No More
<3 this site
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loves 小巫
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02.04.2010 - 14:25
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
April fooled folks check this out
FOOLED
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''
apos;'
[image]
I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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02.04.2010 - 14:40
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
This was a good april fools... I loved that the true facts were in between the fake ones... A lot of people were confused, I know I was

The fight between the staff members was quite epic too!
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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02.04.2010 - 17:31
TheBigRossowski

Ohhhh, with Mr.T, you meant that Thryce Dude. Okay...okay...cause, I thought you meant the real Mr.T. And the real Mr.T is no asshole...in fact, he is a bad motha fucka and he pities da foo' who doesn't realize this.
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That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
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02.04.2010 - 18:47
Ernis
狼獾
I hoped .ee to come back and since it didn't I am disappointed...

It's like giving up our national currency for euro...
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02.04.2010 - 19:27
Ragana
Rawrcat
Written by Bad English on 02.04.2010 at 12:33

Written by Ragana on 02.04.2010 at 02:41

Hah, seems like this year there were a lot of confessions to make... As for the change of domain - I suppose I just like .ee more than .net. I hope I'll get used to it.
However, good luck to Ivor. Can't wait to finally get in MS without typing my master password (which is the least I can do to please my laziness) or full user information.


what do you mean whit password?
i only cluck on log in box and its automaticly shown username and ******************** so i log in
even I shood write for new whehn they switch from ee to ner now its clicking again

That's what I have to do now, before yesterday I NEVER had to click on 'log in' or to actually type any of my personal information. Whenever I decided to visit MS, I was already logged in.

About the password thing... get Firefox, go to Tools --> Options --> Security --> Passwords --> Master Password and choose it well. Activate it and you won't have to remember any of your saved passwords because the Master password collects and 'protects' them itself. Starting with that day the browser will just ask you to type the Master password if there will be the need for your actual (real) password on that site 'Y'. Sure, if you somehow manage to forger the Master password... well, you're screwed.
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02.04.2010 - 19:34
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Ragana I clean cockies each day whit CC Cleaner so ....
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''
apos;'
[image]
I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Loading...
02.04.2010 - 19:54
Ragana
Rawrcat
Written by Bad English on 02.04.2010 at 19:34

Ragana I clean cockies each day whit CC Cleaner so ....

Well then none of your information is saved and the next day you have to save it again, I guess. That's safe but annoying.

/I just did something cool - lost the taskbar, lol./
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02.04.2010 - 19:57
Baz Anderson

Written by Ragana on 02.04.2010 at 19:54

Well then none of your information is saved and the next day you have to save it again, I guess. That's safe but annoying.

/I just did something cool - lost the taskbar, lol./

It is supposed to have been sorted now. Clear all your Metal Storm cookies and then try again. Hopefully it will work. If not, let Ivor know.
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02.04.2010 - 20:24
Warman
Erotic Stains
That's gay.
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02.04.2010 - 22:50
Daggon
Underpaid M.D.
Written by TheBigRossowski on 02.04.2010 at 17:31

I thought you meant the real Mr.T. And the real Mr.T is no asshole...in fact, he is a bad motha fucka and he pities da foo' who doesn't realize this.


Yeah, he is THE man, you don't want to bitch with this guy hahaha:

----
"Les vers savent qu'ils n'ont pas d'ailes, c'est pour cela qu'ils se cachent sous terre"
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03.04.2010 - 23:14
TheBigRossowski

Written by Daggon on 02.04.2010 at 22:50

Written by TheBigRossowski on 02.04.2010 at 17:31

I thought you meant the real Mr.T. And the real Mr.T is no asshole...in fact, he is a bad motha fucka and he pities da foo' who doesn't realize this.


Yeah, he is THE man, you don't want to bitch with this guy hahaha:




lol

I pity da' foo' who aint post a picture of me online!!!
----
That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
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07.04.2010 - 17:47
Roro

Damn i was away the whole week, i missed the fun :/
anyway congratulations!!
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24.12.2012 - 04:34
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Quote:

Dethklok not getting turned "on" as a featured band: Not just no, but hell no.


...Well this is awkward...
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14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum

DESTROY DRUM TRIGGERS
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