Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

______

According to wikipedia, that won some kind of "funniest joke in the world thing". Which is a little bit of a joke in and of itself. But to use that to describe what a punchline is:

When the operator told the guy to "make sure his friend is dead" he obviously meant to check his pulse and stuff like that, and make sure the hunter didn't overlook some factor that would suggest he might still be alive. So when the hunter shoots him, it's "funny" because it isn't what
the audience would expect, and the hunter ends up looking like an idiot, which is also a funny concept a lot of the time. He then goes on to ask the operator what to do next, which is also stupid, because the only point of calling an emergency operator is to save someone's life, or get them help of some kind.

Although, that is only one kind of joke, and the basic kind at that, but the teacher-13 story thing doesn't really fit any kind of joke.

I think the teacher-13 story doesn't have anything unexpected or inherently funny to make up a punchline. I can see someone being amused by it (since it's somewhat clever), but the typical goal of a joke is laughing.

A guy was seated opposite a 10-year-old girl on a train. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that time will pass more quickly if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about quantum physics?"

"All right," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss quantum physics when you don't know shit?"

Haha, now that is a joke.

I think that's the funniest thing Ernis' ever posted in this thread.

Someone kills his wife, then he gets upgrades and goes to the next level.
As pointless as some "jokes" here.

Written by mz on 21.07.2014 at 00:01

Someone kills his wife, then he gets upgrades and goes to the next level.
As pointless as some "jokes" here.

Wha?

Yeah I'm gonna have to second that "Wha?"

Yeah it was meant to show that some jokes here does not have any association with real jokes. In the other words, do not look for any type of logic there

Well your joke is bad and you should feel bad.

It was not a joke but I feel bad anyway :'(

Troy you should feel about about making mz feel bad about his bad non-joke.

Ok that made no sense.

Yeah, it didn't.
You should feel bad about your senseless comment about Troy having to feel bad about making mz feel bad about his bad non-joke

I do. I truly do.

This is ironically the least funny thread ever.

I agree. This thread is a joke
We should call it "the joke thread"

A man tries to catch another man in the ball pit at chuck e cheeses and the other guy dives below and says "bazinga" every time he surfaces

Written by Mattybu on 22.07.2014 at 00:36

A man tries to catch another man in the ball pit at chuck e cheeses and the other guy dives below and says "bazinga" every time he surfaces

Lmao. You should seriously lay off TBBT.

Its weird I hate the show and NEVER laugh when I watch it but I watch it every now and then. I can totally turn my brain of for th at show so that's good

The ball pit scene is classic bazinga though

A man walks into a bar and says "typing on a phone sucks balls"

Written by Mattybu on 22.07.2014 at 01:00
A man walks into a bar and says "typing on a phone sucks balls"

Not funny.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 22.07.2014 at 02:41

Written by Mattybu on 22.07.2014 at 01:00
A man walks into a bar and says "typing on a phone sucks balls"

Not funny.

Better than "A man walks into a bar and says, ouch". Actually sadly it probably isn't even

It's worse. The "ouch" punchline at least has some originality to it.

If you were on stage I would have thrown a tomato at you.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a pint of beer and has a very nice time.

Thank you for injecting some funny back into the thread, Joe.

*Bows*

So a man comes into a bar... Oh wait. It was a horse. Silly me.














So a man comes into a horse...


(I know it's old, but fuck it)

This is just awkward.

A man walks into a bar and orders a round of drinks. He gets progressively more and more drunk, and is pretty wasted by the end of the night. The bartender cuts him off for the night, and he returns to his Las Vegas hotel and has great difficulty trying to eat a cheeseburger whilst lying on the floor, the whole incident being filmed by his daughter

^ that's not a joke (since it lacked a punchline). It's just a description of an infamous David Hasselhoff night on the town which can be seen here http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/20673/