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Black Orchid - Inertia review



Reviewer:
5.4

2 users:
6
Band: Black Orchid
Album: Inertia
Release date: 2008


01. Elysium
02. Destiny
03. Inertia
04. Serenity
05. Time

Gothic metal. Sometimes it possesses an amazing fragile beauty and sometimes it has a really impressive dark quality to it. There are bands that manage to awaken a multitude of emotions with a minimalistic soundscape and such that blow you away with their orchestration and a detailed wall of sound. Then again there are gothic metal bands that represent an insignificant brew of sound that lacks soul, energy, emotion and everything else that can make music good. Black Orchid, one of these bands, has risen from the ashes of the (much better) Australian Chalice, who disbanded in 2007 after 9 years and 4 albums.

They say they incorporate the passion of Nightwish, who I have always considered one of the most overrated metal bands of all time, the drama of Opeth, a band that bores me to the brink of insanity and the atmospherics of Pink Floyd, of which I can't feel anything in this music. Riffs? Boring and unoriginal. Solos? Uninspired. Keyboards? Simplistic and in the background anyway, could just as well not be there. The choir in 'Time'? One of the worst I've heard. The drumming? Actually there's no reason whatsoever to mention it. Atmosphere? None.

The worst thing about the music is the vocal-work though. Imagine a female-vocalist with a voice that's neither ugly nor pretty, doesn't hold a lot of energy, doesn't convey any feelings and all-around sounds as insignificant as that one particular blade of grass in my garden (you know, that one).

Inertia, their first output, contains a short intro (the best track actually), three songs and a 12:26 minute instrumental track. First of all the idea of an instrumental track of this length on a 33:28-long album seems pretty bad by itself. Next I'll admit there are a couple of good guitar and keyboard parts in it. But why the hell would a band want to jam every single one of their good ideas into an instrumental - which is still amazingly boring due to its length and the complete lack of structure - instead of adding some spice to their boring songs with them?

Many albums get better when you listen to them a second, third or fourth time. However Inertia just makes me think "man, do I really have to sit through another half hour session of concentrated boredom again?" and gets worse each time.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 7
Songwriting: 5
Originality: 4
Production: 6

Written by Bas | 29.05.2009




Comments

Comments: 11   Visited by: 131 users
29.05.2009 - 20:41
Black_Handed
A village idiot
The text of the review sounds much harsher than 5.4, like +-4 or so. nevertheless, i suppose that those guyz wont like you a lot .
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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29.05.2009 - 20:53
Rating: 5
Bas
Retired Staff
Written by Black_Handed on 29.05.2009 at 20:41

The text of the review sounds much harsher than 5.4, like +-4 or so. nevertheless, i suppose that those guyz wont like you a lot .


You're right, but then again the music isn't actually extremely bad. It's just really boring (which is almost just as bad in my opinion). It's the kind of CD I really don't want to listen to more than necessary and the kind of CD that really annoys me because I have to listen to it multiple times to be able to review it in a professional way, as a vent for that annoyance I write a negative review, but after having written the review and the annoyance is out of my system, I still try to give them a fair rating.

So you see? That's my problem when I have to write a review for something really lame

PS: I started not caring anymore what the bands I review think of me, if they send me an album and I enjoy it, they'll get a positive review as a 'reward'. If they send me an album that makes my stomache churn every time I have to listen to it, they get a negative review as a 'punishment'.
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BAS - Beautifully Accented Sexiness
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29.05.2009 - 21:41
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Yeh boring stuff is always like that. but then again, quite a few bands that i used to consider as "boring" ended up on the playlist a few months later, and then surprise surprise i got it .
few examples:

pestilence - testimony of the ancients, now i rate it among the best albums ever to grace metal. and still when i heard land of tears for the first time, it did nothing to me at all. it became my entry point into the rest of their stuff as well

deathspell omega - fas - ite. chaos turning into beauty .

tool, vader, porcupine tree, enslaved...no need to continue .

some music doesnt seem to be meant for short time examination even though through multiple listens.
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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29.05.2009 - 21:52
silenius

Just listened to it and i totaly agree with you bas(except the thing with Opeth being boring^^), just plain boring.. found som harmonius momest here and there thou, nothing more then that thou.
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30.05.2009 - 00:57
Italics

Geeze, I thought that this was just a harsh review until I listened to the music... *SNOOOOOOOOOORE*
The guitars remind me of a Mexican folk band...
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But I Justify My Desire to No One
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31.05.2009 - 15:26
Rating: 5
Bas
Retired Staff
Written by Black_Handed on 29.05.2009 at 21:41

but then again, quite a few bands that i used to consider as "boring" ended up on the playlist a few months later,

Well, like I said in the last paragraph of the review, that isn't the case here
Written by silenius on 29.05.2009 at 21:52

Just listened to it and i totaly agree with you bas(except the thing with Opeth being boring^^),

Yeah right, most of the metal world seems to disagree with me on that
Written by Italics on 30.05.2009 at 00:57

Geeze, I thought that this was just a harsh review until I listened to the music... *SNOOOOOOOOOORE*
The guitars remind me of a Mexican folk band...

Don't worry, I try not to write harsh reviews if it isn't well-deserved by the band
I don't know any Mexican folk bands at all though
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BAS - Beautifully Accented Sexiness
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31.05.2009 - 17:12
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Written by Bas on 31.05.2009 at 15:26

Written by Black_Handed on 29.05.2009 at 21:41

but then again, quite a few bands that i used to consider as "boring" ended up on the playlist a few months later,

Well, like I said in the last paragraph of the review, that isn't the case here

im not talking about number of listens, but time in general. you know, when the annoyance from the first listen fades away and when there is only a vague memory of boredom .

Written by Bas on 31.05.2009 at 15:26

Written by silenius on 29.05.2009 at 21:52

Just listened to it and i totaly agree with you bas(except the thing with Opeth being boring^^),

Yeah right, most of the metal world seems to disagree with me on that

so do i . my first was ghost reveries and yeh i did consider the album boring at first as well, i remember how i empty i felt about baying of the hounds for example. still blackwater park and orchid are my favourites, not reveries, even though they are fun to listen anyways, it is not a bad album, really .
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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31.05.2009 - 18:50
silenius

Ghost reveries is Opeths worst album if you ask me^^still realy good, but not in the same class as blackwater park or morningrise:P
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31.05.2009 - 19:38
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Written by silenius on 31.05.2009 at 18:50

Ghost reveries is Opeths worst album if you ask me^^still realy good, but not in the same class as blackwater park or morningrise:P


just what i said . except for being the worst, im not going to rank any of them as worst, since i dont have that kind of opinion ready .
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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31.05.2009 - 20:25
Rating: 5
Bas
Retired Staff
Oh please, don't start discussing Opeth in my review guys, you know I can't stand that band and the review is about Black Orchid
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BAS - Beautifully Accented Sexiness
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31.05.2009 - 20:40
Black_Handed
A village idiot
Written by Bas on 31.05.2009 at 20:25

Oh please, don't start discussing Opeth in my review guys, you know I can't stand that band and the review is about Black Orchid


have you noticed, that Black Orchid as a name is like Blackwater Part + Orchid? PPPP
fine ill leave it , but you asked for it by reffering to opeth that way .
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Cryptic Bleak Smurf of Ur
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