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The original post

Posted by Kass on 26.11.2011 at 03:22
This is the new thread, you know what to do.

Show me some love.



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Timmeh
Dudeman

Posts: 327

Age: 22
From: Australia

  09.06.2015 at 06:31
I'm in a pretty difficult spot right now. We just broke up after 2 and a half years. But it's not like the usual massive fight/gone to shit/hell on Earth end. It was a mutual agreement. We're still very much in love. From what I've read around the place this sort of ending is a pretty rare occurrence.

Basically a relationship is about effort right? Effort from both sides. If both parties are too busy doing other shit then the whole thing suffers. For me it was playing guitar, exploring music and the stupidly huge amount of things I'm interested in. I'm a young guy hey I want time to myself to learn and be productive... We basically decided that this effort is not being put towards the relationship, and that our time is too taken up by other things and that we should end it now before shit goes to hell...

But it is now in this time of great pain I've realised... well at least I've hypothesized. That the reward of effort and love from both sides means a happier existence.

We only have so much time to devote, do I follow the demands of my aspirations? or do I stream energy and time into a relationship?
If a happy relationship; one where you genuinely make each other happier in this strange journey of existence, a partnership that may literally mean the most blissful and beautiful way to experience this universe as a human being. Maybe I should drown my aspirations... Forget the idea of writing books, writing albums, getting a PhD.

Maybe none of that matters when one could be eternally happy.
How does one go about life?
no one

Posts: 3383

Age: 32
From: New Zealand

  09.06.2015 at 09:10
Written by Timmeh on 09.06.2015 at 06:31

I'm in a pretty difficult spot right now. We just broke up after 2 and a half years. But it's not like the usual massive fight/gone to shit/hell on Earth end. It was a mutual agreement. We're still very much in love. From what I've read around the place this sort of ending is a pretty rare occurrence.

Basically a relationship is about effort right? Effort from both sides. If both parties are too busy doing other shit then the whole thing suffers. For me it was playing guitar, exploring music and the stupidly huge amount of things I'm interested in. I'm a young guy hey I want time to myself to learn and be productive... We basically decided that this effort is not being put towards the relationship, and that our time is too taken up by other things and that we should end it now before shit goes to hell...

But it is now in this time of great pain I've realised... well at least I've hypothesized. That the reward of effort and love from both sides means a happier existence.

We only have so much time to devote, do I follow the demands of my aspirations? or do I stream energy and time into a relationship?
If a happy relationship; one where you genuinely make each other happier in this strange journey of existence, a partnership that may literally mean the most blissful and beautiful way to experience this universe as a human being. Maybe I should drown my aspirations... Forget the idea of writing books, writing albums, getting a PhD.

Maybe none of that matters when one could be eternally happy.
How does one go about life?


follow your aspirations, your young and there's plenty more fish to taste
----
nobody
Timmeh
Dudeman

Posts: 327

Age: 22
From: Australia

  09.06.2015 at 09:19
Hey, thanks for your reply, it helps. Maybe it is important, that one should feel whole, and self-fulfilled before they reach out for another.
Dažbog

Posts: 47
From: Serbia

  11.06.2015 at 02:09
This is my first post after a long time, and what it is going to be about if not love. I have trouble figuring out what to do about this girl i really like. I was thinking long and hard, and then i remembered i could ask this "lovely" community for help. So i ask for your help, advice, anything...
I met this girl i believe in September last year in a train ride to the city where my college is. (I travel about 40 km to college every day, witch is common in this poorer areas of Serbia) I recognized her from before, i saw her at college few times talking to my friends but we never shared a word until that night. After realizing that she recognized me too i approached her and started talking to her, witch is very uncommon for me. We were talking the whole 1,5 hour ride, and i got to know her a little and started to like her (She doesn't live in the city where i am from, she was just visiting her grandma that day...what a happy coincidence). After that i night i only saw her few times, but only passing by and never actually talked to her again. But she always smiled, and she lit up every time she saw me. Thanks to my social awkwardness and introvertism, i couldn't gather enough courage to stop and talk to her, and i only recently acknowledged that she might like me. (after she fucking liked my picture on Facebook group, thought we are not Facebook friends). The problem is the school year is almost over and i can only get to see her maybe few times this month, maybe not even once.
So i was thinking to ask her out the very next chance i get, but i don't know if that is a good idea after this long time has passed. And also, do i add her on facebook or not, it's kinda awkward for me to start a conversation on facebook with the person that i am not that close to in "real life"...:noidea:
----
BELIEVE NOTHING, no matter where you read it or who has said it, unless it agrees whit your own reason and your own common sense...
Timmeh
Dudeman

Posts: 327

Age: 22
From: Australia

  11.06.2015 at 03:00
Written by Dažbog on 11.06.2015 at 02:09

So i was thinking to ask her out the very next chance i get, but i don't know if that is a good idea after this long time has passed. And also, do i add her on facebook or not, it's kinda awkward for me to start a conversation on facebook with the person that i am not that close to in "real life"...:noidea:

Hey dude, I don't think adding her on facebook would be seem creepy or anything, especially if she is already 'liking' your shit. In terms of asking her out after only a few conversations, I'm not sure there - maybe someone else will have advice. But in my experience Facebook messenger is a pretty common way of getting to know people these days, so add her, talk to her, see if you have mutual interests etc.

And I wouldn't be too concerned about social awkwardness and introversion, that's normal. For a lot of people it takes years of maturing and life experiences to gain the confidence to overcome, I'm still working on that myself.
Bad English
Masterchief

Posts: 41564

Age: 30
From: Sweden

  11.06.2015 at 03:04
Written by Timmeh on 09.06.2015 at 06:31

I'm in a pretty difficult spot right now. We just broke up after 2 and a half years. But it's not like the usual massive fight/gone to shit/hell on Earth end. It was a mutual agreement. We're still very much in love. From what I've read around the place this sort of ending is a pretty rare occurrence.

Basically a relationship is about effort right? Effort from both sides. If both parties are too busy doing other shit then the whole thing suffers. For me it was playing guitar, exploring music and the stupidly huge amount of things I'm interested in. I'm a young guy hey I want time to myself to learn and be productive... We basically decided that this effort is not being put towards the relationship, and that our time is too taken up by other things and that we should end it now before shit goes to hell...

But it is now in this time of great pain I've realised... well at least I've hypothesized. That the reward of effort and love from both sides means a happier existence.

We only have so much time to devote, do I follow the demands of my aspirations? or do I stream energy and time into a relationship?
If a happy relationship; one where you genuinely make each other happier in this strange journey of existence, a partnership that may literally mean the most blissful and beautiful way to experience this universe as a human being. Maybe I should drown my aspirations... Forget the idea of writing books, writing albums, getting a PhD.

Maybe none of that matters when one could be eternally happy.
How does one go about life?


this is why I am single, I have things to do online ..
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Timmeh
Dudeman

Posts: 327

Age: 22
From: Australia

  11.06.2015 at 03:24
Lol, oh BE... Metal is your soulmate. So, no plans for one day changing your outlook?
Bad English
Masterchief

Posts: 41564

Age: 30
From: Sweden

  11.06.2015 at 03:34
Written by Timmeh on 11.06.2015 at 03:24

Lol, oh BE... Metal is your soulmate. So, no plans for one day changing your outlook?


never
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Dažbog

Posts: 47
From: Serbia

  11.06.2015 at 11:47
Written by Timmeh on 11.06.2015 at 03:00

Written by Dažbog on 11.06.2015 at 02:09

So i was thinking to ask her out the very next chance i get, but i don't know if that is a good idea after this long time has passed. And also, do i add her on facebook or not, it's kinda awkward for me to start a conversation on facebook with the person that i am not that close to in "real life"...:noidea:

Hey dude, I don't think adding her on facebook would be seem creepy or anything, especially if she is already 'liking' your shit. In terms of asking her out after only a few conversations, I'm not sure there - maybe someone else will have advice. But in my experience Facebook messenger is a pretty common way of getting to know people these days, so add her, talk to her, see if you have mutual interests etc.

And I wouldn't be too concerned about social awkwardness and introversion, that's normal. For a lot of people it takes years of maturing and life experiences to gain the confidence to overcome, I'm still working on that myself.

Hey, thanks for the reply...yeah you're probably right about fb, it's way too common thing now to be creepy or awkward. In terms of social awkwardness, you said you were dealing with it yourself, do you have any advice on that area? How do you deal with that shit?
----
BELIEVE NOTHING, no matter where you read it or who has said it, unless it agrees whit your own reason and your own common sense...
Timmeh
Dudeman

Posts: 327

Age: 22
From: Australia

  11.06.2015 at 12:32
Written by Dažbog on 11.06.2015 at 11:47

Hey, thanks for the reply...yeah you're probably right about fb, it's way too common thing now to be creepy or awkward. In terms of social awkwardness, you said you were dealing with it yourself, do you have any advice on that area? How do you deal with that shit?

Ha, man that is a very philosophical and potentially complicated question. You'll work it out in time.
For me I can be extroverted with friends but find it really hard to do with people I don't know. I've never really had a deep social anxiety problem or anything, so I'm probably not the best person to ask.

I guess the main bit of advice is to just be your honest and true self, if people don't like it fuck them, that's their problem. Love yourself, love others, stop hanging around negative people etc. Which is basically the main ideology for Hippies and Buddhists.

But really so fucking what if Bob from over the road from you doesn't like you, and makes his dog shit on your yard or if Cindy who works at the corner store looks at you weird. It doesn't mean shit to you.

I'm kind of an alternative guy, much of my development came through the changes in my mind due to university education and psychedelics .
Also you could try checking out Joe Rogan and/or Duncan Trussell videos on youtube they're pretty inspirational people. In fact listening to them talking about relationships made me get over the post-breakup depression I was just in super quickly.
Dažbog

Posts: 47
From: Serbia

  11.06.2015 at 14:06
Written by Timmeh on 11.06.2015 at 12:32

Ha, man that is a very philosophical and potentially complicated question. You'll work it out in time.
For me I can be extroverted with friends but find it really hard to do with people I don't know. I've never really had a deep social anxiety problem or anything, so I'm probably not the best person to ask.

I guess the main bit of advice is to just be your honest and true self, if people don't like it fuck them, that's their problem. Love yourself, love others, stop hanging around negative people etc. Which is basically the main ideology for Hippies and Buddhists.

But really so fucking what if Bob from over the road from you doesn't like you, and makes his dog shit on your yard or if Cindy who works at the corner store looks at you weird. It doesn't mean shit to you.

I'm kind of an alternative guy, much of my development came through the changes in my mind due to university education and psychedelics .
Also you could try checking out Joe Rogan and/or Duncan Trussell videos on youtube they're pretty inspirational people. In fact listening to them talking about relationships made me get over the post-breakup depression I was just in super quickly.

Yeah, I came to know that people don't give that much shit about what i said or did, at least not in the way I think they do...so i kinda relaxed. Education is helping me a lot too, I think the more and more i learn in life the less socially anxious I am. I think it's my mind growing and shit I handle it much, much better now...and i also learned that if i have a good friend by my side it all goes away.
Thanks you for your answers bro, i just wanted to hear somebody else's opinion and view on that problem.
----
BELIEVE NOTHING, no matter where you read it or who has said it, unless it agrees whit your own reason and your own common sense...
Timmeh
Dudeman

Posts: 327

Age: 22
From: Australia

  12.06.2015 at 02:10
Written by Dažbog on 11.06.2015 at 14:06

Yeah, I came to know that people don't give that much shit about what i said or did, at least not in the way I think they do...so i kinda relaxed. Education is helping me a lot too, I think the more and more i learn in life the less socially anxious I am. I think it's my mind growing and shit I handle it much, much better now...and i also learned that if i have a good friend by my side it all goes away.
Thanks you for your answers bro, i just wanted to hear somebody else's opinion and view on that problem.

No problem. Sounds like you're already well on the way . I totally know that 'relaxing' feeling when you work things out in your head and go wait, that's fucking stupid... why am I even thinking that?
If you can do that, it shows mental strength and that you've got a grip on things. Good luck with that girl.

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