Hey all,

I've decided to get back into songwriting, which I haven't done for a couple of months. I've already got the whole 'premise' of the song thought out, but I'm just wondering if I could get some help from anyone out their willing to lend the lyric-writing services.

The song is going to be a fast and powerful power metal song (think earlyish Blind Guardian, Axenstar, maybe Helloween). The title is going to be 'An Oath Forgotten', and the song's about a guy who takes an oath with someone else. The other person doesn't fulfill the oath, and as a result the original guy dies. The song deals with the guy's (pissed off, sombre) reaction to this ultimate betrayal.

As you can see, I'm well on my way to writing this thing- however, there are a few things I'd like help with. Firstly, who should the guy be? A soldier? A regular guy? Something else? Secondly, who should the other oath-taker be? I'm leaning towards it being simply a comrade in arms, or perhaps a girl (in this case, the oath could represent a commitment, and the guy's death his withdrawal from romance), but I'm really torn. Finally, if there are any emotions that you think I should highlight, or if there are any cool phrases you've thought up that fit with the song's premise or anything like that, I'd love you to share them.

Many many many many thanks in advance .

All for one.

PS- Lyric-writing credit will obviously be given where it's due.

Who should the guy be? Well, as it's a creative piece, he really can be anyone, or anything you wish it to be. From a God to a goose farmer.

Personally, the idea of brothers comes to mind. Perhaps not biological brothers...in that they shared the same parents, but as in arms; in combat or ideal. I suppose a soldier or a warrior of some description would be the obvious choice for a power metal song such as this. Perhaps this is where you should exercise the most creativity; escaping from the usual blue print of the genre.

Maybe these brothers could be simple folk, not accustomed to the world of high-combat and drama? Perhaps they were forced into being something more than they were born to be...such as farmers, threatened by the ever evolving forces around them, forced into dawning arms and protecting what is rightfully theirs.

The oath element, well. Perhaps it is something simple also; yet seemingly alive with granduer. One of our farmers maybe has a daughter, whom he cannot defend. He cannot stay by her side for some reason or another, therefore he entrusts his "brother" to protect her.

Long story -short, the brother fails to protect her. The father returns from (say a battle or a crusade) to find the oath broken, in that, his livlihood -the farm and his cherished daughter, have been destroyed by the same forces he sought to quench.

Anyway, just a thought.

If you would like me to try writing something, just for a banter, I could. It generally doesn't take me long once I get going.

Cheers.

That is really, really good- I'm gonna use it. Thank you so much, I'll give you a shout when it's finished/recorded!

Man, Daibh, thats some good stuff right there.

Yea .. that's like ..
Have you been smoking pot ? cuz that's just very creative
I wish I could add something to that, but I just .. well, it works perfect in my mind

Written by Hyvaarin on 21.05.2006 at 10:20

That is really, really good- I'm gonna use it. Thank you so much, I'll give you a shout when it's finished/recorded!

Glad I could be of some assistance!

Thanks for the kind words guys. I appreciate it.

Here are some good tips for a "epic" power metal song:
Dragons
Emerald Sword
Queen or King
Steel
Magic
Magic Land
Magic Dragons
Magic Emerald Sword
Evil king / queen
Compleating a Quest
Compleating a magical quest
Compleating a quest involving a dragoon
Compleating a quest involving a magical Dragoon
Heroes
Warriors
Love
etc.......

@daibh:that's really nice stuff
@hyvaarin:how about posting your idea for the next song because this one is pretty much covered...do you want to do a concept album?you know i also helped aresius on this subject

How about riding throught he rainbows of eternal steel with epic swords made of glorious thunder?

Written by 4look4rd on 31.05.2006 at 22:44

Here are some good tips for a "epic" power metal song:

Compleating a Quest
Compleating a magical quest
Compleating a quest involving a dragoon
Compleating a quest involving a magical Dragoon

etc.......

lmao! what a critic!

Written by 4look4rd on 31.05.2006 at 22:44

Here are some good tips for a "epic" power metal song:
Dragons
Emerald Sword
Queen or King
Steel
Magic
Magic Land
Magic Dragons
Magic Emerald Sword
Evil king / queen
Compleating a Quest
Compleating a magical quest
Compleating a quest involving a dragoon
Compleating a quest involving a magical Dragoon
Heroes
Warriors
Love
etc.......

And what's better than a dragon if not a magical dragon!

@Daibh: That sounds so good, and I was wondering what it reminded me of. Now I know - The Lord of the Rings, specifically the chapter from The Return of the King entitled 'The Scouring of the Shire', where the hobbits have just come back from defeating the great evil to find an incarnation of that same evil in their own land which they thought was safe. There's no real oath involved there though, but it's a cool comparison!

Written by Judas on 14.06.2006 at 14:09

@Daibh: That sounds so good, and I was wondering what it reminded me of. Now I know - The Lord of the Rings, specifically the chapter from The Return of the King entitled 'The Scouring of the Shire', where the hobbits have just come back from defeating the great evil to find an incarnation of that same evil in their own land which they thought was safe. There's no real oath involved there though, but it's a cool comparison!

Yes, that is a rather interesting comparison, cheers! -There's nothing much better in my eyes than being compared to Tolkien.

Written by 4look4rd on 31.05.2006 at 22:44

Here are some good tips for a "epic" power metal song:
Dragons
Emerald Sword
Queen or King
Steel
Magic
Magic Land
Magic Dragons
Magic Emerald Sword
Evil king / queen
Compleating a Quest
Compleating a magical quest
Compleating a quest involving a dragoon
Compleating a quest involving a magical Dragoon
Heroes
Warriors
Love
etc.......

you can also add something that could not be relationated with fantasy, you can take something like gods or cosmology, like your country and his mithologies

or how about you right a song a family who is cursed by the neighbouring kingdoms sourcorers who happen to be enemys and when the bloodline or magical power of the this particular family grows week the neighbouring kingdoms dark magical cursed or damned army will attack to unlock there spiritual release. this is sort of an adding to what Daibh wrote, i dont no, power metal isnt my thing at all but im sure somthing could potentially become an intresting story just trying to have an imput

well,since i can't do another power metal lyrics topic,i'll post some of my lyrics,just to get more comments and suggestions from other power fans,since i posted on the lyrics topic and only a few guys feedback-ed me(it's a concept album about a guy who becomes a pirate):
Tortuga

Not heeding the call of the sea,
A shadow cast upon my world
The people i love the most,
Will never feel the same for me

One night i escaped my prison
My companion,starlit sea
Living shadows spoke to me
Called me by name,a siren's song

Seems this is the end for me
Fangs and claws,growls are chanting
No-one will ever care for me
Death groan,i prepare for dying

The end is here,i close my eyes
But the wolves flee terrorized
Out of nowhere a figure appears
Sounds his warcry,i burst in tears
In the shadows he disappears

"Tortuga was once his home,
He shall cut through flesh and bone
His name feared by all, loved by few
Sucking blood and drinking dew
The wilderness is now his home
Teardrop falling,drew his groan,
But saved from the claws of the beasts
Upon worms and mice he feasts
His future even blind men see
One day his dream fulfilled will be"
(waiting for comments and suggestions )

great job man, Im still waitin' for new material

i agree i couldnt rite like that ever not in a power metal balls clamped way anyway

Ok dear this is a very interesting thing , Here I'm gonna send you a song I wrote for my friend , and well when I wrote it I was too young but maybe it might work as an I idea I hope you like it ..Is very old very but well try to read it there's a story beind it like always .... here it is ..ohh also let me think more of your story I might come up with something ...

A mighty Warrior :

OH!! Mighty warrior,

Owner of the universe

Owner of the seven swords of paradise



OH!! Mighty one, so mighty

Mighty warrior

Owner of the first sword

The sword ?the sword of the mystical light

The sword of the mystical light



OHHH!!! My mighty warrior, so mighty

Child of the night owner of the seven swords

Ohhh!! My mighty warrior

Mighty one

Child of paradise



Mighty warrior so mighty

Mighty warrior

Owner of the second

And third sword of paradise

The sword? Of real love and enchanted hearth's

Real love?and enchanted hearths



Oh mighty warrior so mighty

Mighty warrior

So mighty my mighty warrior child of the sky

Who owns the fourth and fifth sword of paradise

Owner of every ocean and the sword of a mystical land

The sword of a mystical landowner of every mystical power

So mighty, mighty warrior



OHHH!!! My mighty warrior, so mighty

Child of the night owner of the seven swords

Ohhh!! My mighty warrior

Mighty one

Child of paradise



Mighty warrior so mighty

Mighty warrior

Owner of the sixth and seventh sword

Swords of paradise

Owner of every dimension

The owner of life Mighty one, so mighty here's my life

OHHH!!! My mighty warrior, so mighty

Child of the night owner of the seven swords

Ohhh!! My mighty warrior

Mighty one

Owner of the light owner of paradiseeeee!!

Written by Icewings on 19.07.2006 at 23:52

OH!! Mighty one, so mighty

Mighty warrior

Owner of the first sword

The sword ?the sword of the mystical light

The sword of the mystical light

(...)

Oh mighty warrior so mighty

Mighty warrior

So mighty my mighty warrior child of the sky

Who owns the fourth and fifth sword of paradise

Owner of every ocean and the sword of a mystical land

The sword of a mystical landowner of every mystical power

So mighty, mighty warrior

"... The dragon, untamed, who rose to the call
The call of arms, for he's not to fall
In the vast snowfields of wizards and dreams,
Of fairies and magic and -- [over-high-pitched non-heterosexual scream]...

... And the sunlit knight came with his mighty sword
And the wizard's light blessed the warrior's soul
Slay! Slay the dragon! were their last words
Before they met in magical parad--[insanely fast guitar solo with no musical structure]..."

Gotta love Power Metal lmfao

Everybody think that a warrior or a dragon MUST appear! you can also talk about history (cruzades, vikings, revolutions) try it for agod almighty, power is not only fantasy!

@Taktsekte: WOW how cool , ENCHANTING ....nice working with you lol we could work something out ....

@TeZCaTLiPoCa: well I agree with you and understand your point , Maybe I should work more on that ....

what do you think, is this okay?:

The pass of the dreams

She stands barefoot on the seashore.
Just a light dress covers her blood frosted body.
The woman's eyes are swollen from the weeps.
She found the only reason to cry:
Her Warriors of the Light are lost.

The twilight fades, the dawn bursts into bloom.
But just a moment before the big light
The blind man spread his blanket on the earth.

With the first goddesses,
The peaceful sea draws into white-pink.
The higher raise the gods,
The more violent becomes the cemetery.
Peaceful into the restless,
Ant the waves become fragile.
The higher raises the sun,
The more warriors arise from the graves.
She stands long time
And she waits for them to reach through her.

They have taken their helmets off,
And exposed swords lifted into the skies.
The woman can feel her heart beating,
They are calling her with them.

Oh how she wants to go.
Body, let the soul free.
Fall on the waterless shore and go!
Let the soul walk over the sea, hail your faithful men!

"But where is my sword" claims the woman.
"Whose throat it penetrated last time?
Whose body had my loyal fellow?"

Few steps she takes to the blacken grave.
"Without my sword I can not go.
Without my sword I am not the one, I should be."

Soul! Look over the sea!

And from the distance sounds the melody.
And the proud battle-cry awakes from the chests of the warriors.
Brave little soul, go now!
They are calling you, can't you hear?
Hurry now, run before the twilight.


The soul of hers arises in silence.
Running over the waves she falls into the arms of the army.
And the waves are rushing together into the redemption.

The woman has passed the test.
She has passed the dreams.
She's gone home.

MHK.
Musical Inspiration: Katatonia- July CD 2007

@Symbelmyne
I think your song is good, but not much Power Metal

Written by Guest on 28.03.2007 at 11:44

what do you think, is this okay?:

The pass of the dreams

She stands barefoot on the seashore.
Just a light dress covers her blood frosted body.
The woman's eyes are swollen from the weeps.
She found the only reason to cry:
Her Warriors of the Light are lost.

The twilight fades, the dawn bursts into bloom.
But just a moment before the big light
The blind man spread his blanket on the earth.

With the first goddesses,
The peaceful sea draws into white-pink.
The higher raise the gods,
The more violent becomes the cemetery.
Peaceful into the restless,
Ant the waves become fragile.
The higher raises the sun,
The more warriors arise from the graves.
She stands long time
And she waits for them to reach through her.

They have taken their helmets off,
And exposed swords lifted into the skies.
The woman can feel her heart beating,
They are calling her with them.

Oh how she wants to go.
Body, let the soul free.
Fall on the waterless shore and go!
Let the soul walk over the sea, hail your faithful men!

"But where is my sword" claims the woman.
"Whose throat it penetrated last time?
Whose body had my loyal fellow?"

Few steps she takes to the blacken grave.
"Without my sword I can not go.
Without my sword I am not the one, I should be."

Soul! Look over the sea!

And from the distance sounds the melody.
And the proud battle-cry awakes from the chests of the warriors.
Brave little soul, go now!
They are calling you, can't you hear?
Hurry now, run before the twilight.


The soul of hers arises in silence.
Running over the waves she falls into the arms of the army.
And the waves are rushing together into the redemption.

The woman has passed the test.
She has passed the dreams.
She's gone home.

MHK.
Musical Inspiration: Katatonia- July CD 2007

That is more like emo-power-thingie...
Power metal lyrics mostly consist of dragons 'n stuff... i guess it is supposed to be epic and full of nilly-willyness ... Stratovarius is one of the bands you should listen to to get insipartion, especially Inifinite album... good stuff there