What The Heck I Meant: An Apology...
| Written by: | Dane Train |
| Published: | 06.04.2012 |
What The Heck I Meant: An Apology And Clarification Letter To All Who Jumped To Stereotypical Wild Conclusions And Completely Missed The Fact That The Blog Was A Satirical Rant About An April Fools' Day Joke That Never Actually Came To Fruition
For those of you that read my blog I posted on April 1st, 2012 and replied either on the forum boards or to my personal message box all I have to say is...
Oh...
Not Amused At All
Firstly, let me apologizes to those of you out there that did not find this joke funny at all. The first of April is traditionally a time of lighthearted hoaxes and jokes and as such, Metal Storm tries very hard to provide this to you each year. The joke this year was that Metal Storm became a porn site but you all missed it. My ranting blog was aimed at furthering that notion that it had actually happened. My only intention was to get people laughing.
I guess somewhere along the road the concept that this was all a huge gag was lost.
I would also truly and deeply like to apologize to anyone who thought that the mentality and reactions in the blog were how I really felt. I want to make it public record that the majority of that does not reflect my view.
Still part of me is rather baffled at the notion that many of you did not even get the fact that is was a joke and I am rather shocked at how quickly many of you were began to hurl insults and SPAM my in-box with hate-mail. Please correct me if I am wrong, but for those who attacked me for that blog miss the entire notion of the Metal Storm April Fools' Day joke? Did you actually read my blog closely? There were numerous mentions and references to the Metal Storm pornography, did any of you actually get to see any of this pornography that supposedly upset me?
Plus there was the whole line about the Dora The Explorer Pool...
...add midgets and peanut butter for good times
Come on guys, you had no inkling that this was all a ruse?
But before I actually start ranting, I also need to take a step back, humble myself, and do some re-assessment.
Maybe part of the reason the joke failed is because those who didn't know anything about me just assume that because I am a Christian, I would over react like that. It seems logical to me. Those who do know me seemed to really enjoy it. Not every PM I got was negative, some people thought it was hysterical. Then again, most of them all know me.
The big question is where do we go from here? I am not sure. It is something I have to think and pray about.
And by the way, I think Marcel is a really great man.
 | Written on 06.04.2012 by Dane hails from Asheville, NC which is Beer City, USA. When he is not drinking various craft and micro brews, Dane fronts the Stoner Doom Metal band, The Quick. He also has a massive collection of Hellboy comic books. |
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18274  |
Written by PocketMetal on 06.04.2012 at 21:42 Yeah, there were some folks out there indeed... I don't know if that's funny or just sad. Quote: Hahahahahahahaha 
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Dane Train Beers & Kilts Elite Posts: 8902  |
Written by Guest on 06.04.2012 at 20:46 How so?
---- (space for rent)
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| PowerThrash Posts: 63  |
I was appalled by all the people attacking him on that thread.  It was funny until I saw that most of the comments were hate comments about the stereotypical "all Christians are idiots" garbage. I live in Christian dominated southwest Virginia and some of the smartest people I know are Christians, and while I don't necessarily share their beliefs I respect them and realize that most Christians (that I know) really are good people. It deeply bothers me that the people that claim to be the most "open minded" have these stereotypes against others with different beliefs. 
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| Dane Train Beers & Kilts Elite Posts: 8902 |
Written by Guest on 06.04.2012 at 22:53 That was part of the whole Metal Storm joke, all the dates were changed from April 1 to April 2 so that people thought the missed the 1st.
---- (space for rent)
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| Valentin B Iconoclast Posts: 10084  |
Written by Guest on 06.04.2012 at 22:53 dude, one of the main ideas of this year's April Fools was just this: that the time was set instantly to 2nd April from 31st March. Thus, April 2nd in Metalstorm time was the full first and second days of April.ba dum tsss
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| SymphonyImpaled Posts: 63  |
LOL Why would you post an article on the front page of the site that's a "joke" to only a very select and rather bored few? The ego it must take to earnestly believe people want to read your BLOG. (Not yours specifically, just in general.) I mean who, outside of complete groupie packers of the fudge, reads another persons blog? Who wants to read every mundane thought that crosses through another bland humans mind? In Retrospect it was a decent enough joke. But at fruition it was the same stereotypical hateful fundamentalist crap rantings you come to this site to avoid. Good joke, but in the future, if you're gonna do a BLOG joke.... leave it in the damn BLOG. Edit: It also took you a hilariously decent chunk of time to think up this predicted apology. lol.
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| Doc G. Full Grown Hoser Staff Posts: 9718  |
Written by SymphonyImpaled on 06.04.2012 at 23:47 Change your tampon and take a xanax. It wasn't an apology. Just an explanation for people, such as yourself, who fell for the joke just a little too hard. Are you just sour because you made an idiot of yourself falling for the joke? Can't be that lame of a joke if it got you this wound up: Written by SymphonyImpaled on 01.04.2012 at 20:02 You got fooled. Clean the sand out of your vagina and get over it.
---- "I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck." - George Carlin
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| Uldreth Posts: 1150 |
Actually, I've always believed an april fools joke is the best when you cannot easily decide whether it is a joke or not and with your article, that is exactly the case. Reading other articles you have posted before it became clear to me that if yo uwere sincere, it would mean that due to the april 1st 'pornography', your personality took a 180 degrees turn, which is frankly improbable unless you also needed psychological help before, which I highly doubt. So I do believe this was in fact a good joke, just don't be surprised at the possible amounts pf hate mail and religion bashing you might have received after it from people who have not come so easily at this conclusion  .Ps:: Execuse all the grammatical/spelling errors, I am drunk as fuck atm, quite hard to type,mkay?
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| SymphonyImpaled Posts: 63 |
Lol why do you think i'm worked up? The preface to the site on april fools' day was to go along with everything... That's all I did lol Just continuing as the topic is.
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| Dane Train Beers & Kilts Elite Posts: 8902 |
Written by SymphonyImpaled on 06.04.2012 at 23:47 The reason behind that is due to my job. I work in wilderness therapy and am gone for 8 days at a time. While I am at work I have virtually no contact with the outside world, except for emergencies. In order for me to even pull off this prank last weekend I had to hike several miles, in the rain, at night, just to get to our base to post it. This morning was the first time I had to sit down and write out this new blog. Sorry if it was not as timely as you would have liked. I did my best.
---- (space for rent)
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| SymphonyImpaled Posts: 63 |
Written by Dane Train on 07.04.2012 at 00:16 Hahahahaha. I did the same for four years on a daily basis with an old xbox(original) in my backpack. except, I slept on a park bench every night. Suffice to say that xbox got fucked up lol
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| strade Posts: 677  |
Written by Guest on 06.04.2012 at 21:17 Fucking. Hysterical.
---- My lo-fi synth project: http://luciddreamer.bandcamp.com
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| Introspekrieg Totemic Lust Elite Posts: 2747 |
One of the better MS April Fools I've experienced... on a mindfuck level. Don't feel bad.
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| M C Vice ex-polydactyl Posts: 3353  |
Written by Valentin B on 06.04.2012 at 23:06 I thought that Europe's economy has crashed so bad that they had to sell off April 1st. Shorten the year to it's regular lengh, since its a leap yar.
---- "Another day, another Doug." "I'll fight you on one condition. That you lower your nipples." " 'Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp!"
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306  |
FUCK YOU YOU STUPID CHRISTIAN FUCK! ... Honestly. People are so goddamn sensitive these days. The fact this article was necessary really shows how simple-minded the average person can be. Sorry this wasn't as fun for everyone as it should have been, Dane. 
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Mattybu Posts: 2589  |
Written by Doc G. on 07.04.2012 at 00:01 I think this was the beauty of the article was seeing the people who took it really seriously, I have to say April Fool's in general was very well done this year. I admit I was even questioning it, because I didn't log on on April 1st so I didn't actually know the whole porn thing was fake, which for me made it even funnier cause I believed it for a little while, then I figured it out lol. And in a world where Rick Santorum gets votes, you never know how dumb people could be lol - that was my justification for why what he was saying might have been serious. Well done Dane 
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| Cynic Metalhead Paisa Vich Nasha Posts: 6815  |
One thing is for sure.... After this article, no one from the next year will repeat the hoax of leaving MS or died or something and will clarify it later with solid amusing implicated perceptions attached to it.
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