Band:	Lord Dying
Album:	Poisoned Altars
Style:	Sludge metal
Release date:	January 2015

01. Poisoned Altars
02. The Clearing At The End Of The Path
03. A Wound Outside Of Time
04. An Open Sore [feat. Aaron Beam]
05. Offering Pain (And An Open Minded Center)
06. Suckling At The Teat Of A Sheabeast
07. (All Hope Of A New Days)... Extinguished
08. Darkness Remains

Are you a shower or a grower?

Gimme a grower over a shower any day. There's nothing worse than discovering an album of epic proportions which then fails to satisfy you in the long run. Knowing what pleases me, Lord Dying put out the rather satisfactory Summon The Faithless in 2013, but apparently only accepting "wow"s and "oh my"s, the band decided to change my mind for the better with Poisoned Altars. Not content enough with sludge as the prominent organ of their music, the three Americans felt the need to strengthen their penchant for the energy of thrash and the heaviness of stoner doom with this second release. With their sound now being just as massive and crushing as I like it, how could I resist making the parallel between this and a turgescent phallus?

I totally could - I am mistress of my domain, queen of the castle- but Poisoned Altars is too much fun not to be compared to that. When the neck and the foot muscles don't seem to respond to the numerous signals the brain is sending them, in the vain attempt at stopping you from looking like a disjointed puppet having a stoke at your desk, you know that the riffs are more than catchy enough. Naturally displaying more punch and guitar expertise than your usual sludge/stoner combo as their thrash leaning inherently implies, this album avoids the pitfalls of the genre such as build-ups that never reach climax, or Bongripper-esque marathonian lengths. Our Deceasing Ruler knew how to select just the best and most coherent bits and arrange them in a fashion that makes the first listen so flowy and pleasant it could warrant an immediate subsequent spin.

If the thirty minutes of mid-tempo goodness I have just described to you doesn't look sexy enough, I'm sure you'll react positively if I throw around the names of some of your favourite mistresses. Look at your face as I compare the vocalist's style to Crowbar's Kirk Windstein, and Lord Dying's general output to something straight out of a High On Fire-meets-early-Mastodon record. However, however, don't fixate your mind on what I just said, because Currently In The Process Of Perishing King still display enough personality not to be judged solely as followers of the previously-mentioned established sludge titans. Close your mouth, you're drooling.

I have so much difficulty hiding my own boner that I'm going to have to resort to ice cubes to calm myself down. Meanwhile, help yourself to some of this sausage.