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Emmure - Eternal Enemies review



Reviewer:
2.0

20 users:
3.35
Band: Emmure
Album: Eternal Enemies
Release date: April 2014


01. Bring a Gun To School
02. Nemesis
03. N.I.A. (News In Arizona)
04. The Hang Up
05. A Gift A Curse
06. E
07. Like LaMotta
08. Free Publicity
09. Most Hated
10. Grave Markings
11. Hitomi's Shinobi
12. Rat King
13. Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls like 40's And Blunts
14. New Age Rambler
15. We Were Just Kids

Tasteless, edgy, vapid, infantile, vulgar, boorish, rapaciously stupid, self-pitying, self-absorbed, monotonous, worthless, sneeringly ill-tempered, aimlessly scurrilous, saturated with inflated machismo, as classless as a Communist utopia, and more filth-ridden than the muck-encrusted underside of an Upton Sinclair novel. Actual trash.

Critics pelt Emmure with accusations that their songs are excessively littered with breakdowns, every song is just a vehicle for another breakdown, they have breakdowns up the wazoo, they have more breakdowns than a Soviet railway, I haven't encountered a series of breakdowns this stress-inducing since Perfect Blue, etc. None of this is true. In fact, Emmure's entire career is one single breakdown stretched out over a decade of material, like a desiccated film of yellowing skin stretched out over too much bone. If you hate songs that contain more than one note, then get over here and check this out, because Eternal Enemies is the construction site ambiance you have been waiting for. Of course, Emmure's music is 100% an afterthought and always has been; these songs exist purely as vehicles for Frankie Palmeri's ultracool tough-guy persona to regurgitate itself again and again over a wall of adamant percussion. The lyrics are where the real money is.

Certain music vendors have removed the name of the first track due to its supremely unmarketable genius, so depending on which version of Eternal Enemies you own, you may not be aware that the first song is entitled "Bring A Gun To School." This is clearly the definite-for-sure most brutal and hardcore song title ever. Not even track 13, "Girls Don't Like Boys, Girls Like 40's And Blunts," holds a candle to the veritable mountain of ratty, sweaty, angsty, attention-seeking desperation that came up with THAT one. These lyrics are so irritatingly childish and confrontational that not even Frankie Palmeri's self-satisfied, nasal cleans and musclehead douchebag screams can make them sound tough or impressive (and this is coming from a reviewer who currently owns five Anal Cunt albums).

As far as I can tell, "Like LaMotta" actually has nothing to do with Raging Bull, aside from the obvious fact that it's a pile of raging bull. If there is one man alive today whose talent for manipulating the English language can be called the absolute, polar opposite of Stephen Fry's, that man is Frankie Palmeri. The flyblown, junior-high histrionics are cringe-inducing, probably written by the type of masochistic delinquent jockstrap who thinks it's cool to be hated and will whore himself out to stupidity in order to perpetuate his misunderstood outsider narrative. Vituperative mundanity at its most painfully pointless.

This is Emmure in a nutshell. It's terrible with a passion. From a musical perspective, Eternal Enemies is a dreadful cesspool of caveman bludgeoning and snot-nosed bawling. From an ideological perspective, this album is repulsive garbage, a collection of grating screeds that even the most lawless of limelight-sucking punks should feel extreme shame over after reaching the age of 16. Frankie Palmeri's vocals are frail and obnoxious, his lyrics are as clever and insightful as a bucket of decomposing jellyfish, and his waifu is trash (I refer you to track 11). I give this album a 2.0 review because that is the lowest possible score a review can offer on this site and I want to see a large, red number next to the cover of this tire fire, and I rate this album a 1 because that is the lowest possible score I can offer as a user of this site and I want to see another, smaller red number next to the cover of this tire fire, but in reality I award this album zero points and hope that it is lost to the sands of time when Snake Plissken destroys all of our technology. 


Rating breakdown
Performance: 5
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 2
Production: 5





Written on 26.10.2017 by I'm the reviewer, and that means my opinion is correct.


Comments

Comments: 2   Visited by: 74 users
26.10.2017 - 12:34
Rating: 6
atrox

Sounds like a must-listen now
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09.11.2017 - 13:13
Rating: 6
atrox

I must say that I expected much worse than what I actually heard. I'd not listen it again, but I also didn't feel the urge to just cut it.
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