Goodbye, Fairwell and Amen!


Written by: Dane Train
Published: 01.04.2012


My Fellow Metal Stormers,

For almost the past decade Metal Storm has been my on-line home.

My community of like minded folks.

My refuge from the mundane.

My Metal Site.

It was a place where I was comfortable discussing which Dream Theater live acoustic cover album from 1997 was the best or why, in my opinion, Slayer only actually made one album and kept putting different titles on it. This was a place where despite our differences in political, social, religious, spiritual, and other such topics were celebrated, not discouraged. It was wonderful that this was a site where folks found it interesting that I fronted a Psychedelic Stoner Doom Metal band who played ancient Church hymns and chants.

But alas, the resent "decision" to make Metal Storm "funny" has gone too far for me. The old timers will remember when Disco Storm first happened, and it was brilliant. Every year, the folks who run this joint strive hard to make April the first a day of silliness and gags, reminding us all that we can't ever take Metal too seriously. I personally thought that last year's stunt was the best yet. I was all excited for this year's April's fool until I saw it...

Metal Storm has crossed the line! I can tolerated a lot of the ridiculousness that permeates this place, but when we begin adding in pornography that is too much. I understand that Metal music has a long standing history with sexual escapades and I am fine with that as long as I am only hearing about it. When I log on to check info on The Sword signing to a new label I have no desire to see a photo of underage midget's anally fisting in a Dora The Explorer shaped kiddy pool of peanut butter and canned tuna fish!

WHAT IS WRONG HERE! I know exactly what is wrong! Metal Storm is being run by a bunch of Godless heathens who are all going to burn in HELL! The constant abuse I have taken here on this site for my faith I thought made me a better personal than all of you. Well I was right. You are all sick, sad, pathetic and inane human beings. Folks like Marcel are a waste of a birth!

I pray that all of you will face the wrath of God soon. I will rejoice the day you all are stricken with boils and flesh rotten. I will dance with joy when your lives fall apart and all you know nothing but misery and disparage for this rude and disgusting behavior you've shown here today!

What is the worst part is that you think this is funny. Shame! Shame! SHAME! SHAME ON YOU ALL!!!

It goes with out saying, but for those of you who are too dumb to rationalize this, I am leaving! You're nothing but a bunch of shallow, retarded, liberal DEMOCRATES! I don't need you any more! Go! Listen to your satanic music. Play your evil Dungeons & Dragons! Fornicated and die from AIDS!

Look at your porn but just know that when you know the LORD you have no need for masturbation. When the Christian majority takes over this country, there will be no satanic churches, no more free distribution of pornography, no more talk of rights for homosexuals. After the Christian majority takes control, pluralism will be seen as immoral and evil and the state will not permit anybody the right to practice evil.

I am not ready to give this great nation over to one-world government extremists...radical, disease-carrying homosexuals...or anti-family lesbian feminists...or hate-mongering atheists who despise our religious beliefs...or the ACLU who would deny us our free speech rights...or anti-American U.N. Globalists!

If personal safety means discrimination, then I'm all for it!

With Love,
Dane



 



Written on 01.04.2012 by Dane hails from Asheville, NC which is Beer City, USA. When he is not drinking various craft and micro brews, Dane fronts the Stoner Doom Metal band, The Quick. He also has a massive collection of Hellboy comic books.


Comments

Comments: 57   Visited by: 445 users
01.04.2012 - 16:46
3rdWorld
The Psilosopher
Y U so much discrepancy among the fellow staff members..
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01.04.2012 - 16:51
Bad English
Masterchief
O yeah remaind sme how Marcel left MS .....
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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01.04.2012 - 17:04
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Who the fuck's Dane Train



----
forever bummed out
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01.04.2012 - 17:07
Bad English
Masterchief
Written by Boxcar Willy on 01.04.2012 at 17:04

Who the fuck's Dane Train






http://www.danetrain.co.uk/
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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01.04.2012 - 17:21
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Written by Bad English on 01.04.2012 at 17:07

Written by Boxcar Willy on 01.04.2012 at 17:04

Who the fuck's Dane Train






http://www.danetrain.co.uk/

I was joking K7


:/
----
forever bummed out
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01.04.2012 - 17:25
Bad English
Masterchief
Me to
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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01.04.2012 - 17:55
J. N.
Not sure if serious or fooling...
----
Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done?
Aaron: That which thou canst not undo.
Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother.
Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother.
- William Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus: Act 4, Scene 2 (1593)
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01.04.2012 - 18:22
Rulatore
Written by J. N. on 01.04.2012 at 17:55

Not sure if serious or fooling...

same here
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01.04.2012 - 18:46
Alex F
Slick Dick Rick
I didn't realize Metal Storm had anyone like this on here. In my opinion, good riddance mister Dane.
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01.04.2012 - 19:44
Lit.
Account deleted
Looks like the Dane Train...
*Sunglasses*
...ran off the track.
YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
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01.04.2012 - 19:48
Slayer666
Quote:

Play your evil Dungeons & Dragons! Fornicate and die from AIDS!


I hope you do know that playing D&D is almost a certain way of ensuring you don't fornicate. Like, ever.
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01.04.2012 - 20:01
Uldreth
Meh. First half of it seems way too serious but then the conservative bigot fundamentalist type rant is comically out of place.

Not sure if srs either.
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01.04.2012 - 20:02
SymphonyImpaled
Lol.
I'll refrain from ranting about how this is the most autistic and hypocritical piece of shit of a post I've seen from a metalhead, let alone this site, in the history of retarded fundamentalist christians, for that I'd refer you to the "personal text" on my MS profile.
If something offends you, look elsewhere. Christ... Metalcore, Hair Metal, 80's 'powerthrash', female fronted symphonic metal, emo ETC all offend me and you don't hear me bawling and ready for suicide over it. And based on your religious-high-horse attitude are you surprised people don't find christian stoner doom anything less than fuckin stupid?

Anyway I'll digress by saying you've failed yourself, failed your (already failed) religion, and failed this site with your oppressive world fearing, self righteous moral whinings.
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01.04.2012 - 20:03
SymphonyImpaled
HAha i'm sure it's a joke. but if not, good riddance indeed, eh?
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01.04.2012 - 20:05
BlueMobius
Account deleted
Written by SymphonyImpaled on 01.04.2012 at 20:02

Lol.
I'll refrain from ranting about how this is the most autistic and hypocritical piece of shit of a post I've seen from a metalhead, let alone this site, in the history of retarded fundamentalist christians, for that I'd refer you to the "personal text" on my MS profile.
If something offends you, look elsewhere. Christ... Metalcore, Hair Metal, 80's 'powerthrash', female fronted symphonic metal, emo ETC all offend me and you don't hear me bawling and ready for suicide over it. And based on your religious-high-horse attitude are you surprised people don't find christian stoner doom anything less than fuckin stupid?

Anyway I'll digress by saying you've failed yourself, failed your (already failed) religion, and failed this site with your oppressive world fearing, self righteous moral whinings.


Have you ever heard of April Fools?
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01.04.2012 - 20:08
SymphonyImpaled
Written by Guest on 01.04.2012 at 20:05

Written by SymphonyImpaled on 01.04.2012 at 20:02

Lol.
I'll refrain from ranting about how this is the most autistic and hypocritical piece of shit of a post I've seen from a metalhead, let alone this site, in the history of retarded fundamentalist christians, for that I'd refer you to the "personal text" on my MS profile.
If something offends you, look elsewhere. Christ... Metalcore, Hair Metal, 80's 'powerthrash', female fronted symphonic metal, emo ETC all offend me and you don't hear me bawling and ready for suicide over it. And based on your religious-high-horse attitude are you surprised people don't find christian stoner doom anything less than fuckin stupid?

Anyway I'll digress by saying you've failed yourself, failed your (already failed) religion, and failed this site with your oppressive world fearing, self righteous moral whinings.


Have you ever heard of April Fools?


Of course... but responding was half the fun lol.
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01.04.2012 - 20:31
PocketMetal
"I pray that all of you will face the wrath of God soon"

when the world ends , is there some kind of masturbatory detector to save the innocent people ?
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01.04.2012 - 22:09
Spirit Molecule
spirit molecule
Awwww
----
If you never wake up from a dream does it become reality?

Last fm
Don't click here
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01.04.2012 - 22:14
Milena
Learning To "X"
I used to like discussing DT with you too, but then you called me an anti-family lesbian feminist... good riddance I say.
----
"There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors."
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01.04.2012 - 22:17
tea[m]ster
Au Pays Natal
April fools?
----
rekt
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01.04.2012 - 22:23
InnerSelf
proofread free
All hail Rick Santorum
----
He who is not bold enough
to be stared at from across the abyss
is not bold enough
to stare into it himself.
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01.04.2012 - 22:29
scapeplan
Mouthcrab
Written by Guest on 01.04.2012 at 19:44

Looks like the Dane Train...
*Sunglasses*
...ran off the track.
YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!


Sorry...I stepped on a nail.
----
"Without judgement, perception would increase a million times."~Chuck Schuldiner

Less coherent than Anal Cunt.

Eric Brecht once liked my Facebook comment. Therefore, by the translative property, Chuck Schuldiner like my comment.
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02.04.2012 - 03:12
Megadeth88
...someone obviously doesn't have a sense of humor.
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02.04.2012 - 04:04
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Written by Megadeth88 on 02.04.2012 at 03:12

...someone obviously doesn't have a sense of humor.

And that person is you
----
forever bummed out
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02.04.2012 - 04:31
Megadeth88
Written by Boxcar Willy on 02.04.2012 at 04:04

Written by Megadeth88 on 02.04.2012 at 03:12

...someone obviously doesn't have a sense of humor.

And that person is you

No way!
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02.04.2012 - 04:43
Nosurper
Stinky Lips
----
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02.04.2012 - 05:09
BitterCOld
Gringo
Written by scapeplan on 01.04.2012 at 22:29

Written by Guest on 01.04.2012 at 19:44

Looks like the Dane Train...
*Sunglasses*
...ran off the track.
YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!


Sorry...I stepped on a nail.


brilliant. loved that episode. "We're going monster hunting..."
----
get the fuck off my lawn.
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02.04.2012 - 05:22
Music4TheSpirit
MetalForTheSpiri
Ehhhh is really he? i guess i miss something...
----
In this days we seem to be limited by scientific knowledge
"I'm a good man... while that don't interfere with my interest" Anonymous , taken from the low moderm and post-moderm consciences
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02.04.2012 - 06:20
M C Vice
Ex-polydactyl
Now, is this a late April Fools joke, or is he another one who can't leave quietly or with dignity.
Probably a joke, but if he's not seen again by next week, then it's bye-bye.
----
Mum - 21/10/1955 - 19/6/2015. R.I.P.

"I'll fight you on one condition. That you lower your nipples."
"I'll put whatever I want in your mouth!"
Sharks 2016 Premiers
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02.04.2012 - 10:49
Cynic Metalhead
Atrocious Virgin
Quote:
Every year, the folks who run this joint strive hard to make April the first a day of silliness and gags, reminding us all that we can't ever take Metal too seriously. I personally thought that last year's stunt was the best yet.


I do agree with ya.
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