Metal Storm Anthology Awards


Written by: D.T. Metal
Published: 05.04.2014


Thanks for participating in our 10th Anniversary Anthology Awards voting. Of course by now you all (hopefully) figured out it was an April Fools' Day prank.

Some figured it out rather quickly, while others send a PM and called us nothing short of a waste of internet presence. I just hope we didn't lose him as a member. "Metal Storm you lost your touch. As soon as I checked out the nominees for the thrash metal category I was really disappointed you even considered Lulu in there. I won't be voting on this award."

Here are some other quotes:

Quick thinker:
Quote:
Took me much more time that I care to admit to realize that it what an april's fool...


Captain Obvious:
Quote:
This is a prank. Time 2 ain't even out yet and CoB in black metal?


Disgruntled Member:
Quote:
Awards are a great thing but I don't see any reason to make this kind of voting travesty. The alternatives suck big time and are in wrong categories. For example, how Children of Bodom is Black Metal and Dissection not? Sorry guys, I'm just really disappointed. I hope you could do a new vote with more and better candidates with possibility for write-in votes.


Give the man a cookie:
Quote:
Needs more Manowar.



But, since some of you took the time to cast your useless vote we thought to at least show you the results.


Black Metal:
Dimmu Borgir - Stormblåst MMV won by 13 votes over the "blackest of the black" Children Of Bodom's Blooddrunk.

  • Dimmu Borgir - Stormblåst MMV - 73 votes
  • Children Of Bodom - Blooddrunk - 60 votes
  • Semargl - Satanic Pop Metal - 55 votes
  • Burzum - From The Depths Of Darkness - 31 votes
  • Gorgoroth - Under The Sign Of Hell 2011 - 24 votes


    Death Metal:
    Even though we predicted SFU to "win" this category, you decided that the honor should go to Morbid Angel's Illud Divinum Insanus. Barnes is probably crying somewhere.

  • Morbid Angel - Illud Divinum Insanus - 75
  • Hypocrisy - Catch 22 - 64 votes
  • Six Feet Under - Graveyard Classics III - 27 votes
  • Cryptopsy - The Unspoken King - 24 votes
  • Brain Drill - Quantum Catastrophe - 13 votes


    Doom Metal:
    This one was pretty cut and dry with Anathema's Weather Systems beating the completion.

  • Anathema - Weather Systems - 67 votes
  • Swallow The Sun - Emerald Forest And The Blackbird - 56 votes
  • My Dying Bride - For Lies I Sire - 55 votes
  • Saint Vitus - Lillie: F-65 - 22 votes
  • Fangtooth - Fangtooth - 12 votes


    Folk Metal:
    And the clear winner in this category was … Korpiklaani. And to our surprise, Karkelo won by 30 points.

  • Korpiklaani - Karkelo - 69 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Tales Along This Road - 39 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Voice Of Wilderness - 35 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Tervaskanto - 20 votes
  • Korpiklaani - Korven Kunangas - 17 votes


    Heavy / Melodic Metal:
    Ok, your choice wasn't all that bad and Nanowar Of Steel's Other Bands Play Nanowar Gay! won by a slim margin of 7 votes. Unfortunately one of our favorite, Manowar, came in fourth - what is WRONG with you people?

  • Nanowar Of Steel - Other Bands Play Nanowar Gay! - 53 votes
  • Lordi - Babez For Breakfast - 46 votes
  • Queensrÿche - Dedicated To Chaos - 41 votes
  • Manowar - Thunder In The Sky [EP] - 35 votes
  • Running Wild - Shadowmaker - 20 votes


    Melodeath / Extreme Power / Gothenburg Metal:
    You guys RULE and voted on Wintersun's Time II. But then again, the write-up said it all: "..we've made an executive decision that whatever eventually gets recorded, whenever it gets put out, will undoubtedly be so amazingly awesome that we've just cleared a spot for it in advance."

  • Wintersun - Time II - 112 votes
  • In Flames - A Sense Of Purpose - 44 votes
  • Arch Enemy - Khaos Legions - 35 votes
  • Dissection - Reinkaos - 30 votes
  • Norther - Circle Regenerated - 13 votes


    Power Metal:
    Right on target with selecting the wankers of DragonForce with their Ultra Beatdown masterpiece.

  • DragonForce - Ultra Beatdown - 65 votes
  • Helloween - Chameleon - 43 votes
  • Stratovarius - Stratovarius - 37 votes
  • Sonata Arctica - Stones Grow Her Name - 34 votes
  • HammerFall - Infected - 30 votes


    Progressive Metal:
    Also winning by 68 points was Metallica's Master Of Puppets over Nevermore's The Obsidian Conspiracy. We actually got complimented on acknowledging that the "puppets" album really IS progressive.

  • Metallica - Master Of Puppets - 114 votes
  • Nevermore - The Obsidian Conspiracy - 46 votes
  • Dream Theater - A Dramatic Turn Of Events - 42 votes
  • Geoff Tate's Queensrÿche - Frequency Unknown - 25 votes
  • !T.O.O.H.! - Democratic Solution - 16 votes


    Thrash Metal:
    Again, the mighty 'Tallica also won in this category with their album of the decade Lulu. I don't know how Scott Ian felt about Anthrax's Worship Music coming in 76 votes behind Metallica.

  • Metallica - Lulu - 121 votes
  • Anthrax - Worship Music - 45 votes
  • Trivium - The Crusade - 36 votes
  • Megadeath - Supper Collider - 28 votes
  • Shadows Fall - Fallout From The War - 11 votes



    But, all kidding aside now. We actually will bring you a REAL 10th Anniversary Edition of the Metal Storm Awards sometime soon. Stay tuned!





     



    Written on 05.04.2014 by Editor-in-Chief

    Professional concertgoer ... dangerously armed with a camera!


  • Comments

    Comments: 29   Visited by: 432 users
    05.04.2014 - 22:20
    Cynic Metalhead
    Atrocious Virgin
    Well, image of Metal Storm Anthology Awards is utter blasphemous and offending. That not only kills my serious participation in this awards but you disrespected my votes for every cat. Look how funny in the way it was introduced. C'mon!

    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:
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    05.04.2014 - 22:46
    BloodTears
    ANA-thema
    Korpiklaani won? Hell...

    Also, need to say I voted for Nanowar Of Steel.
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    Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29

    Like you could kiss my ass.
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    06.04.2014 - 00:07
    Curumir
    Still disappointed that "Weather Systems" was considered a "bad" album...
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    06.04.2014 - 00:26
    Troy Killjoy
    perfunctionist
    Written by Curumir on 06.04.2014 at 00:07
    Still disappointed that "Weather Systems" was considered a "bad" album...

    Not so much bad as it was not in the right section. Kind of a dig at how people still refer to Anathema as doom metal.
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    Prettier than BloodTears.
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    06.04.2014 - 00:29
    fandango68
    Well, I'm a newbie to these hallowed portals and am therefore not familiar with the 'editorial stance' (for this, read levels of tomfoolery) the Admin Team on MS tend to take here, but...

    all I'll say is very well done! being an old crusty, I did tend to spot it fairly quickly (the presence of 'Geoff Tate's Queensryche' was rather suspicious ) but it was very humorous and well put together... certainly made my morning!!

    of course your reward for this are the abusive emails/posts you get in response... the more you get will mean two things: either a) the prank was well constructed or b) the average forum member has the IQ of a sea urchin. Of course we all know it's because of the former...

    KUDOS to you all!!
    ----
    First gig was Manowar (loincloths 'n' all), Bristol Colston Hall in March 1983, on the 'Hail to England' tour. Tickets were £3.75, 300 in the audience, Mercyful Fate never showed, but my hearing still got seriously trashed..
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    06.04.2014 - 00:29
    Troy Killjoy
    perfunctionist
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 05.04.2014 at 22:20
    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:

    I'll let Ivan know to give you the right permissions so you can run the pranks from here on out.
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    Prettier than BloodTears.
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    06.04.2014 - 01:51
    D.T. Metal
    Editor In Chief
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 05.04.2014 at 22:20

    Well, image of Metal Storm Anthology Awards is utter blasphemous and offending. That not only kills my serious participation in this awards but you disrespected my votes for every cat. Look how funny in the way it was introduced. C'mon!

    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:

    Like what this? Like this article You DO know that this here is just the aftermath of the voting we had a couple days ago, right? Hold on, didn't someone mention sea urchin earlier?

    Lighten up dude
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    06.04.2014 - 02:08
    AngelofDeth
    Cyborg Raptor
    Those reactions are hilarious!
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    pewpew.. gotcha
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    06.04.2014 - 09:49
    Cynic Metalhead
    Atrocious Virgin
    Written by D.T. Metal on 06.04.2014 at 01:51

    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 05.04.2014 at 22:20

    Well, image of Metal Storm Anthology Awards is utter blasphemous and offending. That not only kills my serious participation in this awards but you disrespected my votes for every cat. Look how funny in the way it was introduced. C'mon!

    I never cared for 1st April bug bit if you guys really been planning to pull off the prank, it shoudn't be done like this. :anger:

    Like what this? Like this article You DO know that this here is just the aftermath of the voting we had a couple days ago, right? Hold on, didn't someone mention sea urchin earlier?

    Lighten up dude


    Dear Mam

    You need to work on this.

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    06.04.2014 - 19:15
    Zaph
    The Nothingth
    Dang, I missed it.
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    Wubba Lubba Dub Dub
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    06.04.2014 - 21:15
    Dead Eternity
    Damn, Semargl lost.
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    06.04.2014 - 23:53
    rpsgc
    Cookie? Cookie! Where's my cookie?

    Hmm... cookie
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    07.04.2014 - 04:38
    Troy Killjoy
    perfunctionist
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 06.04.2014 at 09:49
    You need to work on this.

    Considering your command of the English language, I think it's unfair to assume we should all understand the difference between the serious Cynic and the sarcastic Cynic. Just sayin'.
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    Prettier than BloodTears.
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    07.04.2014 - 05:19
    D.T. Metal
    Editor In Chief
    Written by Troy Killjoy on 07.04.2014 at 04:38

    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 06.04.2014 at 09:49
    You need to work on this.

    Considering your command of the English language, I think it's unfair to assume we should all understand the difference between the serious Cynic and the sarcastic Cynic. Just sayin'.

    Took the words right out of my mouth
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    07.04.2014 - 08:21
    Cynic Metalhead
    Atrocious Virgin
    It's wasn't unfair, it's clear cut.

    My post was in "April prank" article and have never shown any rage against (any)award. You really don't have to waste your time to analyze (both sides of)me. :p

    It's hilarious to see how D.T. retorted and defended her.
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    07.04.2014 - 08:35
    Troy Killjoy
    perfunctionist
    Written by Cynic Metalhead on 07.04.2014 at 08:21
    ...

    You're making something out of nothing. Sarcasm is rarely obvious online, especially when the person posting is you - for reasons already stated.
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    Prettier than BloodTears.
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    07.04.2014 - 10:55
    M C Vice
    Ex-polydactyl
    Will the nominees in the real awards be all the past winners (and maybe some that lost by 1 or 2 votes)?

    Written by Troy Killjoy on 07.04.2014 at 08:35

    Sarcasm is rarely obvious online,

    Needs to be a font type or something for sarcasm. {do these brackets mean anything?} _or these?_
    ----
    Mum - 21/10/1955 - 19/6/2015. R.I.P.

    "I'll fight you on one condition. That you lower your nipples."
    "I'll put whatever I want in your mouth!"
    Sharks 2016 Premiers
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    07.04.2014 - 12:42
    Troy Killjoy
    perfunctionist
    Written by M C Vice on 07.04.2014 at 10:55
    Needs to be a font type or something for sarcasm.

    There is - reverse italics. Metal Storm doesn't support the font though.
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    Prettier than BloodTears.
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    08.04.2014 - 00:50
    Migtanteot
    Is Fool´s day on April around the world ?
    In any case, I thought it was a joke so didn´t pay so much atention
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    08.04.2014 - 02:41
    Zadion
    This is ridiculous! This is a travesty! This is an ABOMINATION! Emerald Forest and the Blackbird is in the doom category as if it's not actually a doom album! I will not stand for this!

    BTW, I've seen some (albeit it's a rare few) who think CoB is more melodic black metal than they are melodic death metal. Not that I agree, but still.
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    08.04.2014 - 06:17
    Mattybu
    I think the CoB album was the most genius because it sucks as an album and was in the wrong category. double whammy
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    08.04.2014 - 15:47
    Warman
    Erotic Stains
    Oh yeah! Can't wait for the "REAL 10th Anniversary Edition of the Metal Storm Awards"!
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    09.04.2014 - 08:28
    Fallen Ghost
    Metalhead
    Semargl needed to win, it is the blackest blackmetal ever
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    10.04.2014 - 09:13
    Reverend X
    Their were pranks pulled off before I should have known. Still too naive even though nominees are ridiculous.
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    11.04.2014 - 09:49
    LeChron James
    Helvetesfossen
    PUT A QUARTER IN YA ASS CUZ YA PLAYED YASELF, THAT'S WHATCHU GOTTA DO.
    ----
    Kick Ass, Die Young

    Less is More
    Stay Pure
    Stay Poor

    Music was my life, music brought me to life and music is how I will be remembered long after I leave this life. When I die there will be a final waltz in my head that only I can hear.
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    11.04.2014 - 15:33
    Karlabos
    Weirdo of MS
    Written by deadone on 11.04.2014 at 09:53

    I'm surprised people actually did fall for this.


    But then I guess people from non-Anglo Saxon cultures have probably not heard of April's Fools Day.

    Well, we have it here in Brazil.
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    2016

    2017
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    15.04.2014 - 13:25
    Marcel Hubregtse
    Grumpy Old Fuck
    Written by deadone on 11.04.2014 at 09:53

    But then I guess people from non-Anglo Saxon cultures have probably not heard of April's Fools Day.


    April Fools Day isn't limited to Anglo Saxon culture. It's widely spread all over Europe and not because of Anglo-Saxon Culture (it's not like Valentine's/Hallmark/Floral day in that respect.). Although not all countries have it on April 1.
    ----
    Member of the true crusade against European Flower Metal

    Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow is out of sight
    Dawn Crosby (r.i.p.)
    05.04.1963 - 15.12.1996

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    15.04.2014 - 14:02
    Darkside Momo
    Retired
    Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 15.04.2014 at 13:25

    Written by deadone on 11.04.2014 at 09:53

    But then I guess people from non-Anglo Saxon cultures have probably not heard of April's Fools Day.


    April Fools Day isn't limited to Anglo Saxon culture. It's widely spread all over Europe and not because of Anglo-Saxon Culture (it's not like Valentine's/Hallmark/Floral day in that respect.). Although not all countries have it on April 1.

    Indeed! It's quite a vivid tradition in France For kids mostly, but not only - our news webzines do pull out pranks too
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    "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you" - Ray Bradbury

    "I've lost too many years now
    I'm stealing back my soul
    I'm awake now"
    Abney Park (Letter Between A Little Boy & Himself As An Adult)
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    30.06.2014 - 11:33
    Bugman
    I actually thought that the "Lulu" thing was way too revealing about the purpose of this vote. And if any doubts subsided, the whole Korpiklaani cathegory. Or... Really, people need to learn how to read better. And then vote accordingly!
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