Best Albums of 2008 - And how does everything in life sucks ass

Written by: Herzebeth
Published: 13.01.2009
So anyway, many of you would have noticed that I've been busy enough to stop writing my usual "edgy" reviews about how many metal outfits out there are trying to be so much brutal that end up sounding like a granny fart without the funny "married with children" layout..

Sure, many of you haven't even noticed that, for at least 5 months, I've been on "neutral"...hell...many of you don't even know who the fuck I am and that right there could be the first line to say "everything in life seriously sucks ass"...

So anyway, if you're curious (I know at least some of you are because I just keep receiving e-mails, pm's and messenger lines asking for the new "crowpath" review, I've received tons of e-mails asking "dude like...do you know anything about Torsofuck?" and my answers is always "yes" lol. So anyway, As I've been working for the NFL, life is actually blocked for me, since the season started I've been almost 24/7 inside the games and news and shit...but it's ok...uhm...where was I? Oh yeah, while I was working some bitch from human resources said that she needed to pay me for my work..."hell yeaaah" I said, and I went out to buy cool new CD's for me...STILL...don't you think WORKS SUCKS ASS???? I mean, you work all week, they give you money to have fun...then you can't have fun because you're still working....like..w00t?

---so yes---Turns out 2008 was a lousy and stinky year for metal.....so I ended up buying a basket of porn instead...it was nice, it had asian chicks and lesbian action inside a chocolate pool...and shemales..eeeeww!

Finally I gave music another chance, and while I didn't find many good metal albums, I surely found sweet interesting stuff for yer ears,

-the best albums of 2008 IMHO (in no order)-

Spiritualized - Songs In A&E
A theatrical album filled with textures and heavenly harmonies, quite gay if you're into goregrind but man...those arrangements made me cum.

Sigur Rós - something something endalaus
yes the name of the album is icelandic hocus pocus, and to be honest, I'm a huge fan of the band and still I can honestly say that this is their worst album since Von...that tells a lot about the music that came out this year for real.

Aimee Mann - Fucking Smilers
Damn good album, finally this bitch grew a pair and stopped doing nonesensical music with experimental shit, this is the Aimee Mann I know, structured and focused...all depressive and ugly as a foot.

God Is An Astronaut - God Is An Astronaut
Post-Rock has always been a brilliant genre, and GIAA might be one of the few bands that still have balls to do groundbreaking music, this album is fucking good.

The Mars Volta - The Bedlam In Goliath
Finally a follow-up for the great Frances The Mute, good band, good music and a creepy concept...

The Kooks - Konk
Probably the gayest band I've ever liked in my entire life, but turns out the do know how to use their instruments, when I thought they were programmed only to use the vasoline bottle the surprised me with nice hooks and a funky attitude, good for them.

Portishead - Third
Well, what's not to like...a hot bitch singing with a high-pitched voice...I'd buy that shit any day.

John Zorn - The Dreamers
Bleeding Gums Murphy was never this dirty...oh yeah!

and the only album I truly enjoyed and cherished from the metal world this year...

Decrepit Birth - Diminished between worlds
Damn, now when I want brutal stuff I want it to sound like this motherfuckers, all with homeless type beards and the worst taste in clothing makes this album a keeper. Really impressive indeed.


So anyway, I know Cynic threw a new album, Vader too, Opeth, Bloodbath, Hail of bullets and many more...to be honest they all sucked in my head, it's the same thing all over again, why can't we go back to the times where Metal was a punch to the face? why does Hail of Bullets (supposedly the breakthrough of the year) has to open their album with keyboards? dude that's not Death Metal....that's crap juice, not only does it stink it also makes you wanna vomit your lungs out.

And that's why everything sucks ass, I'm a huge metal-head and I almost fucking mention Goldfrapp in this list, come on...GOLDFRAPP...the electro blonde bitch with great rack and no voice.....TELL ME:::WHO covered my beloved metal world with Opeth??? which one of you lame freaks said keyboards were Death Metal? COME ON!!! IN WHICH AWFUL UNIVERSE DO WE ACCEPT GOJIRA AS A GROUNDBREAKING METAL ACT????

Is a matter of aesthetics, generations go by and they now say that Carcass is a legend.....I miss my present, the now past that hunts me down with images of old dudes who looked at me with my At War tee, tapped my back and said "dude, someday you'll be like me, people will listen to music that you just don't get...believe me I know" I just didn't know this was going to happen so quick.

At least I got the chance to hear stuff like Pulp, Sonic Youth, Editors and many other things that kept me interested while browsing the web for more porn...(btw: if you know any good pornsites like tube8, redtube or youporn, write it here ASAP DUUUUDEEES!!!)


 




Comments

‹‹ Back to the Articles
Comments: 34  
Users visited: 179  
Search this topic:  


jupitreas - 13.01.2009 at 13:26  
Funny as usual. Good to hear you're not dead man and believe me, I know what you mean about work sucking ass. I couldn't be any more sympathetic to your conclusion since I am also currently in the 24/7 work phase. Ugh. Anyway, I wouldn't say 2008 sucked as bad as you say it did and I will compile a list and post it as a blog as soon as my boss stops looking over my shoulder.
Ozman - 13.01.2009 at 14:52  
Written by Herzebeth on 13.01.2009 at 07:05



The Mars Volta - The Bedlam In Goliath
Finally a follow-up for the great Frances The Mute, good band, good music and a creepy concept...



Did you miss Amputechture as the follow-up or didn't you like it?
Deadsoulman - 13.01.2009 at 14:54  
I don't think I've ever shared your views on metal and music in general, and judging by this blog I still don't Every year you get people saying that the past year was the worst in music history but my opinion is, you just don't know where to search for good music. Knowing your taste in metal I'm not sure this really applies to you though. Maybe you're just a whiney bitch haha

Anyway, good to see you're still around, I was wondering about that the other day. Work can be really tricky, I've been in the same situation during the last 6 months of 2008. Believe me, it's a bloody relief when you get out of that phase.
Elio - 13.01.2009 at 15:38  
Ahaha dude you make really enjoy blogs (which I usually don't read)...well, nice that someone makes a list of the best non-metal albums of the year...I didn't like Third at all, but The Mars Volta (btw, Marcel is right) and Sigur Ròs (ahaha, I can't pronounce that name too) were good as fuck. The GIAA's one a bit disappointed me, I think their other album is a masterpiece instead.
Ahaha and porn is great too
Bloodshed - 13.01.2009 at 16:44  
Lol.

We miss you buddy, and by the way, do you know anything about Torsofuck?
Syk - 13.01.2009 at 17:02  
Dude, LOL and I agree on Decrepit. Did you get to hear Posthumous Blasphemer or Enthrallment? Both from Europe, I think they might be following closest after DB...
Herzebeth - 13.01.2009 at 17:02  
You guys, hey!!

Yes the phase where work grabs you with its tentacles and your boss is always breathing down your neck sucks...but well, The Super Bowl is just two weeks away, I hope everything deflates after then. But still, I think we should go back to the times were you exchanged goods for stuff like corn or chocolates...you know, prehispanic stuff


btw i did hear Amputechture but I didn't like it, I think that's actually their weakest album, I don't know, maybe my expectations were all high after hearing Frances...Bedlam just ripped my guts out

And I think I do know where to find music, but well, most times I end up finding shitty stuff .... ... ... Collin, please show me the way of good will hunting...
Ozman - 13.01.2009 at 17:10  
Written by Herzebeth on 13.01.2009 at 17:02



btw i did hear Amputechture but I didn't like it...





btw, I remember that at the time you thought it was really great
Herzebeth - 13.01.2009 at 20:48  
Naaaa...really?

the same thing happened with Burst - Origo.

When I heard it for the first time I thought it was cool...then I noticed it was really..REALLY fruity.
Dangerboner - 19.01.2009 at 08:08  
You forgot to mention Prostitute Disfigurement mang! But yeah I agree - 2007 sucked but 2008 sucked more for metal. Next year looks amazing though.
HardSide - 21.01.2009 at 19:08  
Wish you were back writing reviews like you use to, but on that note you missed Avsky - Malignant 2008 release, highlight of the album - the filth
BreadGod - 24.01.2009 at 03:38  
Herzebeth, in your request for pr0n, I recommend that you pay a visit to any one of the pr0n boards on 4chan. I always go there to look for tentacle hentai.
Herzebeth - 25.01.2009 at 01:06  
Written by BreadGod on 24.01.2009 at 03:38

Herzebeth, in your request for pr0n, I recommend that you pay a visit to any one of the pr0n boards on 4chan. I always go there to look for tentacle hentai.

Tentacle Hentai???

lulz...you made my day today.
BreadGod - 25.01.2009 at 05:04  
Written by Herzebeth on 25.01.2009 at 01:06

Written by BreadGod on 24.01.2009 at 03:38

Herzebeth, in your request for pr0n, I recommend that you pay a visit to any one of the pr0n boards on 4chan. I always go there to look for tentacle hentai.

Tentacle Hentai???

lulz...you made my day today.

Yeah, that fetish of mine took root during my deeply disturbed childhood.
Doc Godin - 26.01.2009 at 04:26  
Written by Herzebeth on 25.01.2009 at 01:06

Written by BreadGod on 24.01.2009 at 03:38

Herzebeth, in your request for pr0n, I recommend that you pay a visit to any one of the pr0n boards on 4chan. I always go there to look for tentacle hentai.

Tentacle Hentai???

lulz...you made my day today.

4tube, free6, and porneskimo are all good if you are like everybody else on the planet and want your smut for free.

Anyways, back on to a less ban worthy topic. Even though I have to admit the recommendations portion of your blog is of no use to me (at the moment at least), the rest of it cracked me up pretty hard. And I do agree with the suck-list (other than Hail Of Bullets).
Dangerboner - 26.01.2009 at 07:51  
My mom did a bunch of nasty shit on youporn.com. Search for "Pussyfoot Peaches" and you'll see shit you've never seen before.

But dude I bet you're looking forward to some albums this year like Suffocation and Decrepit Birth.
Herzebeth - 26.01.2009 at 18:19  
Written by Dangerboner on 26.01.2009 at 07:51

My mom did a bunch of nasty shit on youporn.com. Search for "Pussyfoot Peaches" and you'll see shit you've never seen before.

But dude I bet you're looking forward to some albums this year like Suffocation and Decrepit Birth.


Yes of course, I'll be all over them as soons as they get released...That Suffocation piece is promising for sure...didn't even know there's a new Decrepit Birth album in the oven dude...fucking good news.

I'm looking forward to the new Torsofuck as well....but you more than anyone know we've been expecting that album since 2006 or something...lazy bitches.

And I've heard there will be a new Pig Destroyer too...that sounds fucking cool.

Is there anything else I should be like...expecting or something?
Dangerboner - 27.01.2009 at 02:03  
Yeah man: Waco Jesus, Cattle Decapitation (amazing btw), Brutal Truth, Circle of Dead Children, Abysmal Torment, Clay Aiken, Putrid Pile, etc. Those albums will make my loins moist.
Herzebeth - 27.01.2009 at 23:46  
Written by Dangerboner on 27.01.2009 at 02:03

Yeah man: Waco Jesus, Cattle Decapitation (amazing btw), Brutal Truth, Circle of Dead Children, Abysmal Torment, Clay Aiken, Putrid Pile, etc. Those albums will make my loins moist.

I'll be checking this ones then.


Waco Jesus, Cattle Decapitation (amazing btw), Brutal Truth, Circle of Dead Children


Didn't know CODC was releasing something new dude...fucking cool stuff
Frankenchrist - 28.01.2009 at 17:43  
I liked Enslaved's "vertebrae"
K†ulu - 28.01.2009 at 18:42  
Written by Frankenchrist on 28.01.2009 at 17:43

I liked Enslaved's "vertebrae"

wrong thread, dude :-D
Frankenchrist - 28.01.2009 at 19:52  
Written by K†ulu on 28.01.2009 at 18:42

Written by Frankenchrist on 28.01.2009 at 17:43

I liked Enslaved's "vertebrae"

wrong thread, dude :-D


huh? no it itsn't :

"Best Albums of 2008 - And how does everything in life sucks ass"
K†ulu - 28.01.2009 at 20:03  
Written by Frankenchrist on 28.01.2009 at 19:52

Written by K†ulu on 28.01.2009 at 18:42

Written by Frankenchrist on 28.01.2009 at 17:43

I liked Enslaved's "vertebrae"

wrong thread, dude :-D


huh? no it itsn't :

"Best Albums of 2008 - And how does everything in life sucks ass"


that's a blog... did you read it?
Frankenchrist - 28.01.2009 at 20:08  
Written by BreadGod on 25.01.2009 at 05:04

Written by Herzebeth on 25.01.2009 at 01:06

Written by BreadGod on 24.01.2009 at 03:38

Herzebeth, in your request for pr0n, I recommend that you pay a visit to any one of the pr0n boards on 4chan. I always go there to look for tentacle hentai.

Tentacle Hentai???

lulz...you made my day today.

Yeah, that fetish of mine took root during my deeply disturbed childhood.


O_O
Frankenchrist - 28.01.2009 at 20:09  
Written by K†ulu on 28.01.2009 at 20:03

Written by Frankenchrist on 28.01.2009 at 19:52

Written by K†ulu on 28.01.2009 at 18:42

Written by Frankenchrist on 28.01.2009 at 17:43

I liked Enslaved's "vertebrae"

wrong thread, dude :-D


huh? no it itsn't :

"Best Albums of 2008 - And how does everything in life sucks ass"


that's a blog... did you read it?


......I feel like a total dumbass right now.
Elio - 29.01.2009 at 17:47  
PWND!
Herzebeth - 31.01.2009 at 23:27  
So...

Someone bitch slaped me and said...dude, there are many other cool releases from last year...

And then he gave me the latest Beck album.

It's fucking brilliant!! Loved that one and I didn't even like beck lol
Dangerboner - 01.02.2009 at 01:46  
Dude have you heard Degradation Paradox by Human Mincer? It's more brutal than being gummed by granny
Dane Train - 03.02.2009 at 19:12  
Written by Herzebeth on 13.01.2009 at 07:05

Portishead - Third
Well, what's not to like...a hot bitch singing with a high-pitched voice...I'd buy that shit any day.


It is really sad when a Trip Hop album is darker and heavier than all the Metal albums I hear that year.
Herzebeth - 03.02.2009 at 19:29  
Written by Dane Train on 03.02.2009 at 19:12

Written by Herzebeth on 13.01.2009 at 07:05

Portishead - Third
Well, what's not to like...a hot bitch singing with a high-pitched voice...I'd buy that shit any day.


It is really sad when a Trip Hop album is darker and heavier than all the Metal albums I hear that year.


I know Right???

let's exchange phone numbers dude, let's hook up lol

No really, I feel the same way about that piece, it's just sad that it's way more grim than most of the things that came out the last year in the metal scene...
Dane Train - 03.02.2009 at 20:08  
2008 was a lame year for Metal. There are maybe a half dozen albums that came out which I actually enjoyed. On the other hand, 2008 was the year for movies for me. Pretty much everyone of my favorite film makers put something out.
Talvi - 27.02.2009 at 23:44  
Yo Herzebeth did you miss Have a Nice Life? IMO they are what made 2008 worthy, it's actually very dark and heavy too, while it being shoegaze/ambient/post-punk (mostly).

Boris' Smile was also great, but yeah, 2008 sucked.
tulkas - 28.02.2009 at 00:52  
"Turns out 2008 was a lousy and stinky year for metal.....so I ended up buying a basket of porn instead...it was nice"

made me laugh so hard. this is classic now! haha (makes the "funny quotes from other memebers", as well) but yeah, it was a lousy year, although i did like amon amarh's twilight of the thunder god
Mr. Doctor - 29.03.2009 at 23:40  
I agrewe with most of the things you wrote. Although I really think 2008 was a great year for Doom and Black metal... But for the other genres it was really really boring.

Advertise on Metal Storm


Login or register to post here.



Similar topics

Forum Topic Similarity Started
Lists Metallica Albums: Best To Worst (Includes Garage Inc. And Lulu) 4.5 08.06.2013 by Necdilzor
Lists Albums that changed my life and perspective about music. 4.5 29.03.2014 by telephonebear
Lists Best And Most Waited Albums Of 2011 4.5 28.09.2011 by Amo del Merol
General metal forum How many albums have you listened to in your whole life? 4.5 02.09.2012 by Oaken
Lists The Best Gothic "Beauty And The Beast" Albums 4.5 12.03.2013 by scapeplan



Hits total: 3656 | This month: 28