8 Ways To Be Socially Ostracized At A Show

Written by: Doc Godin
Published: 13.11.2009
It's Friday night, you're getting really pumped for a show, so you slam back a few drinks and crank up your favourite album by tonight's performing band to get your stoke on. You get to the show, chat with your friends for a bit, then get yourself prepared for the nights onslaught of metal. As the show begins, like moths to a flame, the jackasses come out. Now, of course a concert is a good time to let loose and go crazy, but there is certain etiquette that all concert attendees should abide by. This blog is merely an observation of the 8 main types of etiquette defilers who inadvertently ruin everybody's good time. The ones that make you say to yourself "Why don't we just kill these mutherfuckers?" Well, unfortunately homicide is highly frowned upon by most governments, regardless of circumstance, but the thought is still there. I feel I'm doing a public service by perhaps bringing out this etiquette in written form, so perhaps we have some form of written guideline for the future.

1. The Chip N Dale Dancer
This is a rock concert, not a swimming pool - keep your Goddamn shirt on. The removal of shirts at a concert shows nothing more than an unhealthy amount of testosterone running through someones body. There's nothing worse than being shoved against someone without their shirt on, 2 things happen; either A) You play slip n' slide off the persons broad, unnaturally sweat coated back, or B) You get leather couch syndrome. Ever pass out on a leather couch and have to peel your face off when you wake up? Yeah, it's basically the same thing. Have you ever noticed that these shirt-removers are usually the most aesthetically unappealing human beings imaginable? The fat bastards and the unfortunate folks with severe bacne?

Luckily, they don't call me the Doctor for nothing, I'm pretty sure if there was an anthropological degree in spotting potential dickwads, I'd be a University Professor with a PhD in no time. I've learned how to spot the "Chip N Dale Dancer" even before they "unveil" themselves. How you may ask? Well, the shirt remover is generally the guy who struts around in circles in the mosh pit, shoulders raised & pushed forward, and the bottom half of the jaw jutting out at an irregular distance, much resembling that of a neanderthal. When you spot this at a concert, rest assured you will see that man's nipples by the end of the night.

I would really like to know what goes through these peoples heads. Too hot? Step back for a few minutes and drink some water. Trying to show off? Keep in mind 90% of the people you are surrounded by are male, most of which wish to cause you severe physical trauma at this point. So why? The only answer I can logically conceive is the simplest one: Stupidity.

* "Chip N Dale Dancer" term courtesy of my friend Alexander Wolfbaer Switzer.

2. The Princess
Possibly the most narcissistic of the bunch. This is the asshole who makes sure he gets front and centre at every show, but will defend his personal space at the expense of others physical well being. They have no qualms about elbowing the person being pressed against their back in the throat, or throwing a foot backwards into their crotch. They seem oblivious to the fact that the person who's breathing down their neck isn't doing so by choice, they've got about 6 rows of people ploughing them forward. These people are so arrogant they think just because they showed up early enough to get to the front, they have their own separate laws of physics, and anyone who defies that shall receive the heel of a size 12 Reebok to the ball sack.

3. The Bitch
A more extreme version of "The Princess". While these people don't necessarily battle for personal space, they somehow get the notion that a mosh pit is a friendly environment. Usually in the younger, more hot-headed demographic, these arrogant little bastards are always the first to drop the proverbial gloves the moment someone touches them the wrong way. It's a mosh pit! You will get hurt! You will get a random thumb in the eye socket from time to time! It's a commonly accepted fact. Yes, the mosh pit does have it's fair share of idiots (as described in this blog), but one does not need to take their douchebaggery to heart - don't become one of them. Generally speaking "The Bitch" is merely teen-angst manifesting itself at an inappropriate time and place.

4. The Potential Rapist
Metal is about being a man! Yeah! A heterosexual man! That means we must grab the breasts of the few women in attendance! Even if they are 14 years old and unsuspecting! When I discuss "The Potential Rapist" I think of one sight I witnessed that still bothers me to this day. It was Monsters Of Rock 2008, I saw a girl who must have been no older than 15 or 16 get raised above the crowd, and as the security guards tried to pull her down, some anonymous hands shot up out of the crowd, lifted her shirt up, and copped a feel of what undeveloped boobs there were. Now, I'm no "Neon knight" by any means, in fact, I can be down right sexist from time to time, but there is a line I don't cross. If I saw this happening to my girlfriend/sister/daughter/niece/friend, I'd probably run in and attempt to promptly beat someone to death with their own shoes. Yes people, we all know you're horny and sex-deprived, but for Christ's sake, use a little class would you?

Seriously though, when I first started attending concerts 5 years ago, the sight of a woman at a metal show was a rarity, now stop scaring them off!

True Fact: The previously mentioned event transpired during Judas Priest's set, I did find a touch of humour in that.

5. The Chud
Usually the biggest rule-breaker of all. "The Chud" can fit into pretty much any category listed throughout this blog simultaneously. These are the people that show up to a Megadeth concert because they once beat "Hangar 18" in expert mode on Guitar Hero. Metal & loud concerts are a trend to these people, they refuse to invest in album purchases, t-shirts, or even an attempt at long hair. Now, I don't care much about clothing style, but these people almost seem to go out of their way to look as out of place as possible, when in reality they are just completely ignorant. A lot of complaints against "The Chud" may seem shallow, but there's certain behavioural tendencies these people fall into that will eventually get them killed. The first being arrogance - your first concert experience? Hell, I'd be proud to rock out along side you when you pop your concert cherry so to speak, but don't show up just because you once heard "Ace Of Spades" on that cell phone commercial - you're taking up valuable space and oxygen; a rare commodity at many metal shows. Secondly - you don't dress like the typical Metalhead? We don't mind, but at least try to make an effort to not stick out like a sore thumb, don't show up in your Goddamn Gucci wear or whatever it is you kids are into these days. I don't show up to your dance clubs in my ripped jeans & Ramones cut-off, so let's not make double-standards here.

It may sound like an elitist attitude, and hell it probably is, but a metal show should be a gathering for people who have something in common - a love of metal or a budding interest in metal with a genuine desire to learn. As much as it pains me to make a cheesy allusion to Manowar, I think there should be some sense of brotherhood retained in the metal scene.

6. Mike Tyson
Being a light-weight individual, these people aggravate me the most. These are the types of people who step into a mosh pit for the sheer purpose of hurting people. Moshing is a physical reaction to the music, much like dancing. Now metal is usually a fairly violent form of music, and obviously we can't stand there going into seizures when blast beats come on, so we have the mosh pit. Have you ever fallen down in a mosh pit and had someone intentionally gas-pedal you? That was one of these fuckers. Chances are he also fits into categories 1 & 5 as well. How to spot one of these charming people? Well, first of all, use the method mentioned in category 1, but also notice these people mosh at the most inappropriate times, like during a Heaven & Hell set. As previously mentioned, moshing is a physical reaction to the music, so if you see someone trying to mosh during a doomy song, chances are it's once of these assholes. You wanna hurt people? Start a fight club with people like yourself, stay the fuck away from my concerts.

7. Hardcore Moshers
This one is really straight-forward; leave hardcore moshing at the hardcore shows. Don't start going spastic picking up invisible pennies and fighting invisible ninjas during Gojira. Ever received an unexpected crescent-kick to the jaw? I don't think I need to explain further.

8. The Beer Waster
Probably the most minor of all the offences, but still a piss-off that needs to be addressed. I'm already getting soaked in a couple hundred other peoples sweat & blood, don't dump your beer on me! This is another one that bothers me on principle rather than the action itself. Yeah, the beer will dry, but it makes me think, you know? Concert beer is generally higher priced, the average metalhead is generally reasonably broke - who can afford to do that? If you're too much of a dink to finish a single beer, then I'm sure you can find a friend (that is, if you have any friends), that's down on his luck and would love most of a free beer.

I'm pretty sure anyone who has attended more than 3 concerts in their life can agree with these problems. Perhaps it's a North American thing...Either way it needs to stop.


 



Written on 13.11.2009 by
Doc Godin
Former EIC, now semi-retired.
More articles by Doc Godin ››




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jupitreas - 13.11.2009 at 02:54  
I hate guys who bring their girlfriends to the show and then basically parade them around trying to show off. PDAs are always annoying and at a show even moreso.
dismaleuphony - 13.11.2009 at 03:04  
I definitely enjoyed the gas-pedal reference, I haven't seen it in a long time, but let's just say about a half hour after that guy got up, there was an all-out brawl. Of course I have had enough of any form of moshing, but that the dudes who rip off their shirt and throw sweat in my beers really piss me off, especially since nearly all the beer you can buy at gigs is generic corporate beer I don't want to drink as it is

Nice job on the blog - loved the crescent-kick vid!
Derwood - 13.11.2009 at 03:05  
Another one for the list are the guys who go out of their way to run into people who are not moshing. Likely a subspecies of the Chud.
Doc Godin - 13.11.2009 at 03:10  
Written by Derwood on 13.11.2009 at 03:05

Another one for the list are the guys who go out of there way to run into people who are not moshing. Likely a subspecies of the Chud.

Of course theres also the exact opposite - the people that shove you back in when you're trying to get out.
tulkas - 13.11.2009 at 04:48  
Totally get you. Though the worst for me is the The Chip N Dale Dancer, simply because it's plain disgusting and not only are those the guys with bacne, but the more hairy ones. Ugh!
GT - 13.11.2009 at 10:20  
Oh yeah I think we've all experienced those individuals, so it's not just a North-american thing.

I do my very best to stay out of mosh pits, so I haven't had any injuries like the ones you mention and I really dislike being squashed so I try to stay away from the front rows...unless I'm totally psyked by the music. The I don't give a shit.
soadbyob - 13.11.2009 at 16:38  
Id add the pussy bastards that stop mosh pits, "So everyone can have a good time, yay"
Doc Godin - 13.11.2009 at 22:18  
Written by Guest on 13.11.2009 at 16:38

Id add the pussy bastards that stop mosh pits, "So everyone can have a good time, yay"

I've never seen that actually happen.
thesabbathfan - 14.11.2009 at 01:51  
I do like to mosh a little at each show I go to. I've been lucky enough not to personally experience any of these bastards... but I have seen it happen.
K†ulu - 14.11.2009 at 10:03  
Lol at hardcore moshers. So funnily described. pennies & ninjas. rofl.
jollygreen - 15.11.2009 at 03:40  
Ahh hardcore moshers from a distance hillarious up close a punched in the face hardcore mosher if you can get past that windmill maneuver but another group of assholes are the ones who decide to smoke a cigarette while people are packed around them and they end up burning you in the back or the side of your head...fucking sucks
Dangerboner - 16.11.2009 at 10:14  
For as much shit as I talk, as stupid as I act, and as retardedly drunk I get at shows, I'm still surprised I haven't gotten my ass beat at a show yet. One of these days I will
Darkside Momo - 16.11.2009 at 13:00  
Funny read, Doc.
Written by Doc Godin on 13.11.2009 at 22:18

Written by Guest on 13.11.2009 at 16:38

Id add the pussy bastards that stop mosh pits, "So everyone can have a good time, yay"

I've never seen that actually happen.

I've seen it too. Like a Princess with feelings, who prefers to ask people to stop rather than elbowing them in the kidney.
BitterCOld - 17.11.2009 at 00:08  
Lol, i've actually resembled a couple of these - princess and bitch - at certain shows.

princess in that if i get a good spot, i will defend my territory. i understand the person smashing me in the back is not doing so by choice, but if i am running out of forward real estate, i will push back. fuck you, i'm not going to get crushed like some schmuck in a soccer riot for you.

bitch - only once. was at, get this, Bush (was there for No Doubt, who opened. some of my friends partied with the band back when they were just a local garage band)... not exactly moshing music. yet there was a mosh pit*. my friends who knew the band were backstage having fun while those of us who didn't know them personally** were bored and rapidly sobering while watching Bush play 5 or 8 songs that sounded pretty much the same. some 14-15yo Beavis and Butthead moshster wannabes kept banging into me and my friends, including a girl who was like 5'3" and weighed all of 105 pounds. i got pissed after 15 minutes of this (if you want to mosh at a Bush gig, at least have the sack to move to the *cough* pit *cough*...) and had had enough. timing the bumps, i snapped my elbow back without looking, caught the dude literally right between the eyes and felled him like a tree.

i glanced back, he was on the floor holding his head in his hands (think a laying down version of a facepalm) and his friend was trying to help him up and away.

we spent the rest of the night "enjoying" the show. by "enjoying" i mean we stood throughout, wanting it to end, without further molestation.


so my behavior might have been non-kosher, but i feel merited.



* mosh pit amateurs deserve mention, anyone who does not understand moshpit etiquette. those who mosh at inappropriate gigs... a la Bush, inappropriate places ... a la a full 100 feet behind the Bush 'pit'. those who don't help people up... At a Slayer gig if you get knocked on your ass, you WILL be helped up. some commercially-vaguely popular band, i wouldn't bet on it.

** didn't know the band personally, but i do feel obligated to state that about a year or two prior, dback in '95 i saw them at a sparsely attended gig put on by my college radio station... they played second of four bands, and Gwen Stefani flirted with me. we met after their set, shook hands at the introduction stage, and she didn't let go for pretty much the entirety of our 5 minute conversation. even signed the cd i bought with a heart. i have a friend who witnessed the whole thing and would testify before the U.S. Congress that this did indeed occur and my sister (whom i gave the disk to after they started regular rotation on MtV) still has the cd.
Marcel Hubregtse - 17.11.2009 at 03:16  
Written by BitterCOld on 17.11.2009 at 00:08

... and Gwen Stefani flirted with me.



Damn I would give my right and left hand and both my testicles for that. Gwen is someone I would do any time of the day and night.
She flirting with me would probably have meant my death and probably would still mean it as well
BitterCOld - 17.11.2009 at 05:03  
Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 17.11.2009 at 03:16

Written by BitterCOld on 17.11.2009 at 00:08

... and Gwen Stefani flirted with me.



Damn I would give my right and left hand and both my testicles for that. Gwen is someone I would do any time of the day and night.
She flirting with me would probably have meant my death and probably would still mean it as well


it was friendly flirting, not let's head to the nearest utility closet and rip into each other flirting...
Warman - 17.11.2009 at 13:54  
I've been to a lot of concerts since I was 15 and of course I recognize every single one on the list. But the worst one I've seen so far was a guy in front of me at a Opeth show. He was dressed casual and had some sort of gay cologne. But he was dancing! DANCING!!! Who the beep dances during "Wreath"??? I yelled in my friends ear: "I AM GOING TO KILL THAT GUY!!!".
The Shape 1973 - 17.11.2009 at 21:19  
Quote "True Fact: The previously mentioned event transpired during Judas Priest's set, I did find a touch of humour in that." Shouldn't that be Touch Of Evil instead.

You have forgotten "The Tall Bastard". Even though I am six foot tall I can guarantee that I will be standing behind "The Tall Bastard". I think it is the same guy everytime, headbanging away with his waist long hair, I usually end up eating some as he is trying to make me blind by whipping me to the beat, by the end of the concert its like swinging a wet mop around and everybody within a ten foot radius is getting showered with sweat.
destroyah - 18.11.2009 at 16:22  
Written by jupitreas on 13.11.2009 at 02:54

I hate guys who bring their girlfriends to the show and then basically parade them around trying to show off. PDAs are always annoying and at a show even moreso.



I disagree - if I happened to bring a particularly hot date to a metal gig (which is not often), I wouldn't hesitate to go down on her right there and then. But the date-issue has far more of a serious side to it and it relates to "The Princess" type Doc mentioned - bringing a date is fine, but do NOT bring your date into the pit and then go out of your way trying to defend her skull against (very) possible fractures. Obviously, standing up for your girl is a thing that just might make the difference between getting laid that night or weeping in your bed alone, and is thus acceptable, say, on the streets. But ruining the show for a bunch of people just because your precious wants to be closer to the stage where she can't see shit anyway, is just a dick move. If you really want to be a man then please, keep your bitch in check.


But yeah, excellent article Doc, job well done
Dane Train - 18.11.2009 at 18:20  
Moshing was an attempt at combining dancing and football.
Zombie, M.D. - 19.11.2009 at 04:08  
Maybe it's regional but there ALWAYS seems to be like 2-5 nazis at every metal show. Typically they fall into category #6. I've been "gas pedaled" by a few and received plenty of anti-semetic remarks (I'm not an ethnic OR religious jew, I just have a big nose).
Dangerboner - 19.11.2009 at 06:34  
Written by Dane Train on 18.11.2009 at 18:20

Moshing was an attempt at combining dancing and football.

haha! Yeah, and the football would be someone's lost shoe
Doc Godin - 19.11.2009 at 09:30  
Written by Zombie, M.D. on 19.11.2009 at 04:08

Maybe it's regional but there ALWAYS seems to be like 2-5 nazis at every metal show. Typically they fall into category #6. I've been "gas pedaled" by a few and received plenty of anti-semetic remarks (I'm not an ethnic OR religious jew, I just have a big nose).

Well, everyone hates Nazis in general, so it's not simply limited to shows.
Bloody Rain - 19.11.2009 at 09:39  
I can honestly say, that I have noticed all of the kinds of people mentioned in the blog with the exception of #4.

One thing in particular that I've noticed at shows is when somebody has to walk through the crowd, and they feel the need to jab their studded/spiked wrist band into everybody so that they can "get out of their way." I'm sorry, but that's just uncalled for.
Valentin B - 19.11.2009 at 15:00  
Generally i stay away from the pit since i'm very skinny and can get knocked down really easily by the moshers, but from what little i saw i agree the guys in the #1 category(i HATE those guys) usually are the hairiest, fattest, sweatiest, tallest, most bacne-stricken physically repulsive DRUNKS ever. imagine Johan Hegg from Amon Amarth even taller, with more bacne, fatter and of course hairier and sweatier. my head is spinning just thinking how much you have to drink having such a huge grotesque repulsive body to get so drunk. when i see those guys i realize why many girls don't come to gigs alone. it's like a conspiracy lol. never seen "Chuds" at shows, people with cologne or D&G shirts or whatever.

i'd add "The Huge Asshole" to your list, he's like a combination of the princess, the chip n dale dancer and mike tyson, he always seems to be taller and huger than you so you can't see the band because of him(AT 99% of shows i ever attended, there was one of these guys right in front of me, i'm not small either, i'm 1.86 meters tall but i can't see anything with this guy in front of me, and he won't move, he's just standing there looking, never bangs his head or sings along or whatever. he just STANDS THERE AND PISSES YOU OFF.), oh yeah and sometimes he's shirtless and impossibly drunk, like some guy at the Priest gig last year. plus that dick always kept falling back towards me lol.
Warman - 19.11.2009 at 16:01  
I've never been a mosher, sure I've done it sometimes but I prefer to concentrate on the music and singing along.
Mr. Doctor - 19.11.2009 at 22:30  
Written by BitterCOld on 17.11.2009 at 05:03

Written by Marcel Hubregtse on 17.11.2009 at 03:16

Written by BitterCOld on 17.11.2009 at 00:08

... and Gwen Stefani flirted with me.



Damn I would give my right and left hand and both my testicles for that. Gwen is someone I would do any time of the day and night.
She flirting with me would probably have meant my death and probably would still mean it as well


it was friendly flirting, not let's head to the nearest utility closet and rip into each other flirting...


But it doesn't change the fact that it was awesome... I would also give a part of my body for some flirting with her and also well, a good sweet night as well.
____

The guy I really aht ein the concerts is the dude who is in the back but he struggles to ge tin front hiting and shit... I was right on front and the idiot kept pushing me... I just hit back, what an asshole.
Nexus - 30.11.2009 at 06:56  
I think the worse are the dudes that are so ridiculously overprotective of their girlfriends. It's like, you fucking touch a strand of their gf's hair, and they lose their freaking marbles. Don't worry honey, she ain't gonna break! The best is when they turn around the shove you as a retaliation, once they do and realize (in my case) that you're a chick, try to pull you back as compensation because they feel bad? Like man, I don't like the fact that you're pushing me in the first place, but at least fucking choose as to whether you're gonna shove or pull me, and don't start fucking waltzing with me, motherfucker!
Doc Godin - 30.11.2009 at 09:26  
Written by Nexus on 30.11.2009 at 06:56

I think the worse are the dudes that are so ridiculously overprotective of their girlfriends. It's like, you fucking touch a strand of their gf's hair, and they lose their freaking marbles. Don't worry honey, she ain't gonna break! The best is when they turn around the shove you as a retaliation, once they do and realize (in my case) that you're a chick, try to pull you back as compensation because they feel bad? Like man, I don't like the fact that you're pushing me in the first place, but at least fucking choose as to whether you're gonna shove or pull me, and don't start fucking waltzing with me, motherfucker!

I agree full-heartedly. I mean, I'm not going to go out of my way to hit a chick, but if you're in the pit, you're fair game. If I hit a chick in the pit I have no remorse, I'm just a feminist - equal rights y'all!
Dangerboner - 30.11.2009 at 10:19  
The way I see it, is that if my girl is dumb enough to go into the pit, she deserves whatever happens. I lol'd so hard when she went into the Suffocation pit Now she just serves as my personal coat rack.
Doc Godin - 30.11.2009 at 12:28  
Written by Dangerboner on 30.11.2009 at 10:19

Now she just serves as my personal coat rack.

I miss not being single.
Fat & Sassy! - 03.12.2009 at 00:03  
Nice essay. I'd have to say that Hardcore Moshers probably offend me the most out of all these douchers. You could probably combine those assholes with The Bitch in most cases seeing as how they get pissed when someone throws off one of their dances by moshing properly. >:/
Valentin B - 03.12.2009 at 17:19  
Written by Nexus on 30.11.2009 at 06:56

I think the worse are the dudes that are so ridiculously overprotective of their girlfriends. It's like, you fucking touch a strand of their gf's hair, and they lose their freaking marbles. Don't worry honey, she ain't gonna break! The best is when they turn around the shove you as a retaliation, once they do and realize (in my case) that you're a chick, try to pull you back as compensation because they feel bad? Like man, I don't like the fact that you're pushing me in the first place, but at least fucking choose as to whether you're gonna shove or pull me, and don't start fucking waltzing with me, motherfucker!

hahah, what would be funny, is that while he helps you out, some drunk guy hits his girlfriend or firmly grabs her boobs behind his back YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE MOTHERFUCKER!
Nexus - 04.12.2009 at 06:55  
Written by Doc Godin on 30.11.2009 at 09:26

Written by Nexus on 30.11.2009 at 06:56

I think the worse are the dudes that are so ridiculously overprotective of their girlfriends. It's like, you fucking touch a strand of their gf's hair, and they lose their freaking marbles. Don't worry honey, she ain't gonna break! The best is when they turn around the shove you as a retaliation, once they do and realize (in my case) that you're a chick, try to pull you back as compensation because they feel bad? Like man, I don't like the fact that you're pushing me in the first place, but at least fucking choose as to whether you're gonna shove or pull me, and don't start fucking waltzing with me, motherfucker!

If I hit a chick in the pit I have no remorse, I'm just a feminist - equal rights y'all!


Hahaha, fuckin' right! As it should be. Yeah, I always fucking hated it when I would go to shows with my ex-boyfriends, and they would always feel it necessary to protect me. Like, dude, I'm in the pit/near the pit for a reason, I got along fine at metal shows before you, I don't need you to protect me, man! If I get freaking whacked or get a concussion, well, shit, I guess I just shouldn't've been in a pit.

Kind of appreciate being single just so I don't have to go to shows with some guy smothering me.
LeChron James - 06.12.2009 at 00:09  
Written by Dangerboner on 30.11.2009 at 10:19

The way I see it, is that if my girl is dumb enough to go into the pit, she deserves whatever happens. I lol'd so hard when she went into the Suffocation pit Now she just serves as my personal coat rack.

ITS A MAN'S WORLD.
Marcel Hubregtse - 06.12.2009 at 15:03  
Written by LeChron James on 06.12.2009 at 00:09

Written by Dangerboner on 30.11.2009 at 10:19

The way I see it, is that if my girl is dumb enough to go into the pit, she deserves whatever happens. I lol'd so hard when she went into the Suffocation pit Now she just serves as my personal coat rack.

ITS A MAN'S WORLD.



Or to quote Kutschurft - Metal Is Een Mannensport
Metal is a sport for men. Although the lyrics are about female fronted bands.
Vitriolic Hate - 08.12.2009 at 03:43  
The main problems are ''chuds'' & stupid ''bitches'' for me.
Doc Godin - 08.12.2009 at 04:15  
Written by BitterCOld on 17.11.2009 at 00:08

princess in that if i get a good spot, i will defend my territory. i understand the person smashing me in the back is not doing so by choice, but if i am running out of forward real estate, i will push back. fuck you, i'm not going to get crushed like some schmuck in a soccer riot for you.

It works both ways, there's a difference between pushing back to get some air for a few seconds, and maliciously trying to put someone out of commission. It's not all black & white. When someone does that little hip-check backwards into me I usually don't mind (it is a nuisance, but I understand their position), but it's fucking dreadful when a 7-foot Kerry King lookalike decides to collapse your trachea because you're involuntarily pinned against their back.
Kap'N Korrupt - 08.12.2009 at 09:13  
Out of all of those, the Mike Tyson one bothers me the most...I'll admit right now to being number eight because I will go to a metal show, get trashed as all fuck and start spilling beer everywhere...I paid dearly for that one now don't worry...I got it in the face...I did come into contact with a Chud though at a Metallica show last month...I accidentally stepped on his foot and his told me that his shoes were worth some stupid amount of money so I don't him not to wear them to this kind of concert again if he ever did come back to one...
Nexus - 12.12.2009 at 22:19  
Written by Guest on 08.12.2009 at 09:13

I did come into contact with a Chud though at a Metallica show last month...I accidentally stepped on his foot and his told me that his shoes were worth some stupid amount of money so I don't him not to wear them to this kind of concert again if he ever did come back to one...


Haha, what a prissy little jackass.
ylside - 14.12.2009 at 01:50  
Written by Doc Godin on 13.11.2009 at 02:38

5. The Chud
Usually the biggest rule-breaker of all. "The Chud" can fit into pretty much any category listed throughout this blog simultaneously. These are the people that show up to a Megadeth concert because they once beat "Hangar 18" in expert mode on Guitar Hero. Metal & loud concerts are a trend to these people, they refuse to invest in album purchases, t-shirts, or even an attempt at long hair. Now, I don't care much about clothing style, but these people almost seem to go out of their way to look as out of place as possible, when in reality they are just completely ignorant. A lot of complaints against "The Chud" may seem shallow, but there's certain behavioural tendencies these people fall into that will eventually get them killed. The first being arrogance - your first concert experience? Hell, I'd be proud to rock out along side you when you pop your concert cherry so to speak, but don't show up just because you once heard "Ace Of Spades" on that cell phone commercial - you're taking up valuable space and oxygen; a rare commodity at many metal shows. Secondly - you don't dress like the typical Metalhead? We don't mind, but at least try to make an effort to not stick out like a sore thumb, don't show up in your Goddamn Gucci wear or whatever it is you kids are into these days. I don't show up to your dance clubs in my ripped jeans & Ramones cut-off, so let's not make double-standards here.

It may sound like an elitist attitude, and hell it probably is, but a metal show should be a gathering for people who have something in common - a love of metal or a budding interest in metal with a genuine desire to learn. As much as it pains me to make a cheesy allusion to Manowar, I think there should be some sense of brotherhood retained in the metal scene.


I find it quite weird coming from a metal fan to say that it annoys him that other people do not conform to "non-conformity" so to speak. What is wrong if a guy shows up in a tuxedo even ?
Doc Godin - 15.12.2009 at 08:06  
Written by ylside on 14.12.2009 at 01:50

Written by Doc Godin on 13.11.2009 at 02:38

5. The Chud
Usually the biggest rule-breaker of all. "The Chud" can fit into pretty much any category listed throughout this blog simultaneously. These are the people that show up to a Megadeth concert because they once beat "Hangar 18" in expert mode on Guitar Hero. Metal & loud concerts are a trend to these people, they refuse to invest in album purchases, t-shirts, or even an attempt at long hair. Now, I don't care much about clothing style, but these people almost seem to go out of their way to look as out of place as possible, when in reality they are just completely ignorant. A lot of complaints against "The Chud" may seem shallow, but there's certain behavioural tendencies these people fall into that will eventually get them killed. The first being arrogance - your first concert experience? Hell, I'd be proud to rock out along side you when you pop your concert cherry so to speak, but don't show up just because you once heard "Ace Of Spades" on that cell phone commercial - you're taking up valuable space and oxygen; a rare commodity at many metal shows. Secondly - you don't dress like the typical Metalhead? We don't mind, but at least try to make an effort to not stick out like a sore thumb, don't show up in your Goddamn Gucci wear or whatever it is you kids are into these days. I don't show up to your dance clubs in my ripped jeans & Ramones cut-off, so let's not make double-standards here.

It may sound like an elitist attitude, and hell it probably is, but a metal show should be a gathering for people who have something in common - a love of metal or a budding interest in metal with a genuine desire to learn. As much as it pains me to make a cheesy allusion to Manowar, I think there should be some sense of brotherhood retained in the metal scene.


I find it quite weird coming from a metal fan to say that it annoys him that other people do not conform to "non-conformity" so to speak. What is wrong if a guy shows up in a tuxedo even ?

Well, I suppose you do have a valid point there, but my brain is just used to patterns. When people dressed like that show up they generally do something to make an ass of themselves.
wormdrink414 - 15.12.2009 at 08:07  
It is, to quote the author, a matter of "principle rather than the action itself". The guy who seems to go out of his way to dress in an un-metal fashion at a metal show is obviously seeking attention. Whether this fact is shameful or not is irrelevant, the fact remains that attention is gained by wearing tuxedos to metal shows. The mere fact that one presents himself in a non-metal way at a metal show suggests that he either doesn't care about image or, and more likely, he wants to make the statement that he is in some way "above" long hair and black t-shirts. This sort of elitism is indeed, considered by me (another sort of elitist), shameful. I also imagine that nice clothing (like tuxes) would get pretty thrashed at any type of metal or hard rock show. Hell, a shirt of mine got ripped while Murder by Death played at a Clutch gig a year or so ago. Their lead instrument is a piano.
Kap'N Korrupt - 15.12.2009 at 09:16  
Written by ylside on 14.12.2009 at 01:50

Written by Doc Godin on 13.11.2009 at 02:38

5. The Chud
Usually the biggest rule-breaker of all. "The Chud" can fit into pretty much any category listed throughout this blog simultaneously. These are the people that show up to a Megadeth concert because they once beat "Hangar 18" in expert mode on Guitar Hero. Metal & loud concerts are a trend to these people, they refuse to invest in album purchases, t-shirts, or even an attempt at long hair. Now, I don't care much about clothing style, but these people almost seem to go out of their way to look as out of place as possible, when in reality they are just completely ignorant. A lot of complaints against "The Chud" may seem shallow, but there's certain behavioural tendencies these people fall into that will eventually get them killed. The first being arrogance - your first concert experience? Hell, I'd be proud to rock out along side you when you pop your concert cherry so to speak, but don't show up just because you once heard "Ace Of Spades" on that cell phone commercial - you're taking up valuable space and oxygen; a rare commodity at many metal shows. Secondly - you don't dress like the typical Metalhead? We don't mind, but at least try to make an effort to not stick out like a sore thumb, don't show up in your Goddamn Gucci wear or whatever it is you kids are into these days. I don't show up to your dance clubs in my ripped jeans & Ramones cut-off, so let's not make double-standards here.

It may sound like an elitist attitude, and hell it probably is, but a metal show should be a gathering for people who have something in common - a love of metal or a budding interest in metal with a genuine desire to learn. As much as it pains me to make a cheesy allusion to Manowar, I think there should be some sense of brotherhood retained in the metal scene.


I find it quite weird coming from a metal fan to say that it annoys him that other people do not conform to "non-conformity" so to speak. What is wrong if a guy shows up in a tuxedo even ?

Nah, sorry dude...this one was already nipped in the butt at the beginning of this topic...

You don't show up at an Opera wearing ripped jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt...there's just this unwritten law and if you don't follow it in certain environments, you will automatically be ostracized...it doesn't matter who you are...metalhead or not...
Hazardous Waste - 21.12.2009 at 08:05  
Written by Doc Godin on 30.11.2009 at 12:28

Written by Dangerboner on 30.11.2009 at 10:19

Now she just serves as my personal coat rack.

I miss not being single.

I dont recall ever holding a coat.
I love not being single.
Doc Godin - 21.12.2009 at 09:23  
Written by Hazardous Waste on 21.12.2009 at 08:05

Written by Doc Godin on 30.11.2009 at 12:28

Written by Dangerboner on 30.11.2009 at 10:19

Now she just serves as my personal coat rack.

I miss not being single.

I dont recall ever holding a coat.
I love not being single.

Was a joke. I ask that you leave any past personal issues off of the website.

Seriously, your first post on here and you're already giving me shit? I'm flattered that I'm still prevalent enough in your thoughts for you to pay close attention to my posts and whatnot, but let's use a bit of maturity please.
Dangerboner - 21.12.2009 at 09:25  
That's because Doc Godin treated you too well. If you were with me you'd ask to hold my coat, bitch
Syk - 21.12.2009 at 13:05  
Wtf with this all of a sudden... oh... that was an ex? Past personal issues off the website indeed...
Written by Guest on 15.12.2009 at 09:16
Written by ylside on 14.12.2009 at 01:50
Written by Doc Godin on 13.11.2009 at 02:38
5. The Chud
Usually the biggest rule-breaker of all. "The Chud" can fit into pretty much any category listed throughout this blog simultaneously. These are the people that show up to a Megadeth concert because they once beat "Hangar 18" in expert mode on Guitar Hero. Metal & loud concerts are a trend to these people, they refuse to invest in album purchases, t-shirts, or even an attempt at long hair. Now, I don't care much about clothing style, but these people almost seem to go out of their way to look as out of place as possible, when in reality they are just completely ignorant. A lot of complaints against "The Chud" may seem shallow, but there's certain behavioural tendencies these people fall into that will eventually get them killed. The first being arrogance - your first concert experience? Hell, I'd be proud to rock out along side you when you pop your concert cherry so to speak, but don't show up just because you once heard "Ace Of Spades" on that cell phone commercial - you're taking up valuable space and oxygen; a rare commodity at many metal shows. Secondly - you don't dress like the typical Metalhead? We don't mind, but at least try to make an effort to not stick out like a sore thumb, don't show up in your Goddamn Gucci wear or whatever it is you kids are into these days. I don't show up to your dance clubs in my ripped jeans & Ramones cut-off, so let's not make double-standards here.

It may sound like an elitist attitude, and hell it probably is, but a metal show should be a gathering for people who have something in common - a love of metal or a budding interest in metal with a genuine desire to learn. As much as it pains me to make a cheesy allusion to Manowar, I think there should be some sense of brotherhood retained in the metal scene.
I find it quite weird coming from a metal fan to say that it annoys him that other people do not conform to "non-conformity" so to speak. What is wrong if a guy shows up in a tuxedo even ?
Nah, sorry dude...this one was already nipped in the butt at the beginning of this topic...

You don't show up at an Opera wearing ripped jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt...there's just this unwritten law and if you don't follow it in certain environments, you will automatically be ostracized...it doesn't matter who you are...metalhead or not...
I guess you would say Akercocke's the exception that proves the rule?
Doc Godin - 21.12.2009 at 13:29  
Written by Syk on 21.12.2009 at 13:05

Wtf with this all of a sudden... oh... that was an ex? Past personal issues off the website indeed...

Yes, I do apologize to everyone else by the way, things are being carefully watched by mods so this thing doesn't escalate.
Elio - 21.12.2009 at 17:18  
Written by Dangerboner on 21.12.2009 at 09:25

That's because Doc Godin treated you too well. If you were with me you'd ask to hold my coat, bitch



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