Metalstorm - The Drinking Game

Posted by: BitterCOld
Date: 22.11.2010

 
9.2 | 32 votes

first draft version. feel free to add more suggestions.
The METALSTORM.net DRINKING GAME!

Because just visiting the site doesn't kill enough braincells.


Drink Level 1 - one sip per infraction.

Each comment that says an official review underrated an album and it should have been scored higher.
Metallica gets bashed for anything after the Black Album
Each "RIP!" post on the anniversary of some musician's death
Each guest review you visit in which the album scores over a 9. this is compounded per guest review ... so an album with 4 guest reviews of 9+ would be... 4 drinks.
Each time someone posts "Hail!" or the icon
Each time someone responds to a poll question with a one word answer.
Each time someone bitches about a poll question because Band X was not included.
Each time someone whines because MS does not feature NS bands
Each time someone whines because MS does not feature bands that are advertisements for cartoon shows
Each time someone creates a horribly lopsided poll with an obvious outcome. I.E. "Iron Maiden vs. White Lion"
Each time there is a news item about Anthrax changing vocalists
Each time someone thinks the Big Four should be Big Five/Big Six/Big 804 to fit in their favorite thrash band
Each time someone whines about Wintersun's next album being delayed
Each time someone complains about a band's omission from the MS awards
Each time someone complains because a popular band wins the MS award
Each time someone asks when the MS Awards are
Each time Marcel insults power metal
Every time someone registers for the sole and exclusive purpose of responding to a review they didn't like
Each time someone suggest we change a band's style from a widely acknowledged one to what they think is correct. (Double this if they are not even close... i.e. Motley Crue should be "Blackened" Glam because of "Shout At the Devil" and their pentagram logo)
Each time the shoutbox discusses something other than metal
Each time Manowar releases a live album or dvd to bilk their fans of a little more cash
Every time BitterCOld lectures someone who doesn't agree with his A7X review

Drink Level 2 - two sips per infraction

Each time a user screws up a smiley by not spacing it, resulting in a :bangerr::banger22: string
Metallica gets bashed for the Black Album
Megadeth gets credit over Metallica, while their sell-out attempt is conveniently omitted.
Each guest review you read in which the album scores over a 9.5. this is compounded per guest review ... so an album with 4 guest reviews of 9.5 would be... 8 drinks.
Each time someone bitches about a poll question because Band X was not included... but the omission was explained in the opening post.
Each time someone bitches in the shoutbox about someone else's vote abuse
Each time we feature a band which is an advertisement for a cartoon show
Every time a user calls a band "overrated" because he/she doesn't like said band (e.g. Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, Slayer, etc.).
Every time a user bitches about who should/shouldn't be in The Big Four of Thrash. as if the opinion of someone still breastfeeding in the mid-80s actually matters.
Every time a user bitches about the overall rating of a review not being the result of esoteric calculations including the Performance, Originality, Production and Songwriting ratings.
Every time someone bitches/asks why their edits haven't been proofed yet.
Each time a shoutbox post actually is about metal
Each time Manowar claims to break another Guinness World Record
Every time another MSer lectures someone who doesn't agree with BitterCOld's A7X review

Drink Level 3 - three sips per infraction

Each guest review you read in which the album scores between 6 and 8.9, where it likely should be scored.
Each time someone bitches about a reviewer not being objective.
Each time someone bitches in the shoutbox about someone else's vote abuse... but have abused their own voting powers.
Each time a member of the MS team (staff/elite) uses /facepalm in a thread.
Each time Manowar releases an album with an obvious scthick to cash in. Double if it involves the same song done over and over in different languages. triple if that includes either Esperanto or one of those sub-Saharan "click click" dialects.
Each time a user thinks they know more on a subject because they read about it on the internet or watched a documentary than someone who was there.
Every shout k7/bad engiish makes not involving sports or motorcycle gangs.

Drink Level 4 - four sips per infraction

Each time someone bitches about a reviewer not being objective - and is countered with a lecture on subjective vs. objective
Bas gives an unsigned band a score over 7 in a review and has nice things to say
Each shoutbox post that is about metal and is actually remotely interesting or thought provoking
Each time Anthrax releases as studio album ... with only new material
Each time a well thought out poll is created
Each time a user thinks they know more on a subject because they read about it in a book, on the internet or watched a documentary than someone who was there and either wrote the book or helped produce the documentary

Drink Level 5 - FIVE sips per infraction

Staffer admits to a mistake.
Jupitreas gives an album review a numerical score
K7/Bad English corrects someone else's spelling
Wintersun releases an album


"My liver is stronger than if Marcel's liver and Lemmy's liver combined to form a super liver" …Super Bonus Category for those of you with balls of steel and an endless vat of alcohol readily available

Drink each time k7/Bad English spells a word incorrectly. One sip per infraction is enough.




feel free to suggest more. if i like them, i'll add them. and ...

take a drink for each of your submissions that get codified in the official game.




Comments

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The Shape 1973 - 22.11.2010 at 17:40  
I'm just off to the supermarket to stock up. This is gonna take one hell of a lot of ale.

Most members will get alcohol poisoning from Bad English's spelling alone.

Don't even get started on Wintersun's Time. There just isn't enough vodka.
Windrider - 30.11.2010 at 20:40  
Wintersun release should be the master-price like inviting all the fans and playing the whole game for at least 24h.
If the album is good, play it another 24h. If not, play it until the next album will be released.
K†ulu - 01.12.2010 at 12:34  
Dude, thumbs up! I laughed my ass off.
Paradox0 - 02.12.2010 at 06:30  
3 points for every shout k7 makes not involving sports or street gangs (and yes we know it can be hard to know whether he's talking about that or not, just go with how drunk you want to get)
vezzy - 02.12.2010 at 06:40  
It's actually "Jupitreas".

That's five sips.
BitterCOld - 02.12.2010 at 07:44  
Written by vezzy on 02.12.2010 at 06:40

It's actually "Jupitreas".

That's five sips.


meh. I intentionally spell his name wrong in reference to a long, mostly forgotten exchange with someone who took issue with one of his reviews.
vezzy - 02.12.2010 at 13:17  
Written by BitterCOld on 02.12.2010 at 07:44

Written by vezzy on 02.12.2010 at 06:40

It's actually "Jupitreas".

That's five sips.


meh. I intentionally spell his name wrong in reference to a long, mostly forgotten exchange with someone who took issue with one of his reviews.


Oh, right. I remember.
BitterCOld - 05.12.2010 at 08:09  
Written by vezzy on 02.12.2010 at 13:17


Oh, right. I remember.


i forget which one specifically - he's written a fistful of reviews that have met ZOMGHOWCOUDYOU?! response. one of those they f'ed his name up.

i also always spell anything in French incorrectly just to piss off Collin. I would do likewise with German, but Promonex has threatened me with a machine gun modified to shoot English to German dictionaries.
BitterCOld - 10.12.2010 at 19:57  
Written by Paradox0 on 02.12.2010 at 06:30

3 points for every shout k7 makes not involving sports or street gangs (and yes we know it can be hard to know whether he's talking about that or not, just go with how drunk you want to get)


not sure how i missed this earlier. congrats. so let it be written, so let it be done. now take a drink, my son.
matos - 16.12.2010 at 23:57  
This game encourages "drinking alone"
cheers!
Slayer666 - 16.04.2011 at 17:43  
Quote:

Drink each time k7/Bad English spells a word incorrectly. One sip per infraction is enough.


Hell no, there isn't enough booze in the entire world to cover for this.
Void Eater - 17.04.2011 at 08:07  
If I took a drink each time Bad English misspelled a word, I'd be wasted before finishing his post.
Boxcar Willy - 09.02.2012 at 04:02  
Written by Void Eater on 17.04.2011 at 08:07

If I took a drink each time Bad English misspelled a word, I'd be wasted before finishing his post.

I tried it out its ont so baadfd oncewws yuo getttttttte used tooof itrvvvvvvvvd.
qlacs - 27.01.2013 at 18:07  
"Drink each time k7/Bad English spells a word incorrectly. One sip per infraction is enough."

Jesus that will take a Lemmy or two

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