Liturgy - The Ark Work review




Bandcamp music player
Reviewer:
2.0

50 users:
4.46
Band: Liturgy
Album: The Ark Work
Release date: March 2015


01. Fanfare
02. Follow
03. Kel Valhaal
04. Follow II
05. Quetzalcoatl
06. Father Vorizen
07. Haelegen
08. Reign Array
09. Vitriol
10. Total War


If I had a time machine, I wouldn't use it to kill Hitler. I wouldn't introduce Abraham Lincoln to the concept of bodyguards. No, I wouldn't teach Columbus how to play nice or derail the First World War or punch Enver Pasha in the face. I would use it to stop this album from being made.

Remember when Deafheaven released Sunbather and stirred up a massively idiotic hurricane of controversy over the blasphemous notion of "happy black metal"? If you asked a deaf person to describe for the Dalai Lama the most extreme criticisms that befell Deafheaven and then recorded an album based on what the Dalai Lama explained to you through interpretive dance, The Ark Work is the brass-suffocated, painfully bright, vaguely introspective, godawfully repetitive, rough-approximation-of-shoegaze-fed-through-a-wood-chipper-and-reconstituted-into-a-black-metal-type-abrasive-music-album thing that you would probably produce.

Liturgy herald the arrival of their latest work with the flattest, most artificial, most obnoxious horns in the history of recorded music. Never before have I actually gotten a serious headache from trying to push through a single album. I don't think it would be much of an exaggeration to say that the first 13 minutes of The Ark Work could be considered a war crime so heinous that the Hague would sooner remand this album to the custody of Josef Mengele than allow it to be played in the presence of decent, hard-working folk. I have listened to plenty of worse albums over the years, but nothing - NOTHING - matches those bloody, godawful horns in terms of pure, unfathomable irritation. Meanwhile, the vocals wandering tragically in the background sound like the strange hiccups of sound that people mistook for satanic messages back in the 1970s when they played their Judas Priest records backwards.

What, truthfully, is so bad about The Ark Work? The digital effects are hammered in awkwardly, vomiting pointlessly-computerized vocal tracks and ambient sounds all over the place. The songs are aimless, undefined, cannibalistic, meandering, and nonsensical. The production is abhorrently mishandled to such an impressive degree that the person responsible must, in fact, be a two-by-four with a face scrawled on one end in semi-congealed lamb's blood. Dead-eyed, monotonous vocals skip and twitter and flummox and dither about like an AI having a seizure. Jangling guitars plagued by an overage of bright, post-y, gaze-y cheeriness bludgeon the same boring passages into your ears over and over and over again, like a relentlessly chipper coworker who refuses to leave you a single moment of unassailed silence. A pig horking up its own stomach lining onto a balalaika could create a more polished and meaningful piece of music.

Listening to this album is like being tied to a the front of a moving train and having monkeys throw water balloons full of Ceaușescu's spinal fluid and rusty Communist AIDS at you from a motorcycle speeding alongside. This is a true musical migraine. "Vitriol" might actually be the worst song of 2015. I can't continue to write. This album has killed me.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 2
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 10
Production: 2


 



Written on 10.12.2015 by I'm the reviewer, and that means my opinion is correct.


Comments

Comments: 19   Visited by: 257 users
10.12.2015 - 11:33
boo-boo
Funny thing, I was just thinking about looking this album up, as it seems to appear pretty often in the TOP lists throughout the web. Thanky you very much for saving my time, energy and mental health.
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World won't end today - it's already tomorrow in Australia.
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10.12.2015 - 13:03
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
I like th opening part of the review, but I don't get this bands music
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Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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10.12.2015 - 13:17
!J.O.O.E.!
Account deleted
Still baffles me how this is appearing on so many end of year lists. Oy.
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10.12.2015 - 14:07
silenius
Just heard the intro and bursted out laughing xD, WTF IS THIS? okey yea it's pure shit..
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10.12.2015 - 14:08
Wukk
I had to try The Ark Work after reading this, but despite being truly awful, it's still not the worst thing I've ever heard. Please review this next.

Also, I'm amazed there was no mention of how bad the drums are. Next to the vocals and the HORNS, they really killed any enjoyment I could have seen myself getting from this.
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If you're 666 then I'm 777
http://www.last.fm/user/Joodicator
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10.12.2015 - 14:30
Karlabos
Weirdo of MS
Meh. Predictable review. You guys know no music
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2016 - 2017
2018 - 2019
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10.12.2015 - 15:05
Joe Zombie
My opinion of this album is always changing. Sometimes I can tolerate it and actually enjoy bits of it. But holy shit those vocals. What the fuck is up with the vocals.
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10.12.2015 - 15:35
PēterisP
I love it and I hate it. Fascinating and annoying at the same time. Like all previous albums. And I really like Quetzalcoatl
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Metalhead since 1987
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10.12.2015 - 16:20
Karlabos
Weirdo of MS
Written by PēterisP on 10.12.2015 at 15:35

I love it and I hate it. Fascinating and annoying at the same time.

Yes, exactly my impression as well. I thought it was a bit too long though... Can get pretty tiring very quickly.
Not something i'd listen to on a daily basis but still a good bad album
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2016 - 2017
2018 - 2019
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10.12.2015 - 18:15
Mr. Doctor
Skandino
Damn if you think this is a "good bad album" I do NOT want to know what kind of B-movies you enjoy, dude. It's probably a mvoie about a retarded kit hiting a bucket with a dead duck for 10 hours.

SO UNCONVENTIONAL.

Written by Guest on 10.12.2015 at 13:17
Still baffles me how this is appearing on so many end of year lists. Oy.

I knew I didn't need anymore reasons to not trust theneedledrop's opinions but the fucker gave this album a 7/10. WOAH.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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10.12.2015 - 19:28
Maco
Classless
Written by Mr. Doctor on 10.12.2015 at 18:15

I knew I didn't need anymore reasons to not trust theneedledrop's opinions but the fucker gave this album a 7/10. WOAH.


For a moment I thought you were talking about a certain user from here.... Then I read carefully and I realized you were talking about those time wasters from theneedledrop.
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Never trust a junkie.
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10.12.2015 - 19:30
Mr. Doctor
Skandino
Written by Maco on 10.12.2015 at 19:28
For a moment I thought you were talking about a certain user from here.... Then I read carefully and I realized you were talking about those time wasters from theneedledrop.


I usually agree with him or at the very most there's a difference of one point or so. But this time it was mindblowing. xD
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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10.12.2015 - 19:38
!J.O.O.E.!
Account deleted
Written by Mr. Doctor on 10.12.2015 at 18:15

I knew I didn't need anymore reasons to not trust theneedledrop's opinions but the fucker gave this album a 7/10. WOAH.

On the plus side I found out through the comments that Merzbow has a new album out.

*checks discography: he has 6 albums out this year*

Oh.
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10.12.2015 - 20:04
@gent_-_orange
Written by Mr. Doctor on 10.12.2015 at 19:30

Written by Maco on 10.12.2015 at 19:28
For a moment I thought you were talking about a certain user from here.... Then I read carefully and I realized you were talking about those time wasters from theneedledrop.


I usually agree with him or at the very most there's a difference of one point or so. But this time it was mindblowing. xD


Its funny, I pretty much agree with him when it comes to most of his opinions outside of metal, but when it comes to metal im nearly always in complete disagreement.
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11.12.2015 - 00:01
God Alone
Mostly complete rubbish indeed. My favourite track must be Kel Valhaal: pooot, pot pot pot popopopooot, pot pot popopooot, pot popopopot, p-p-pooot, popopot pot, popooot, p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pooooot... just hilarious. And I do think HHH is trolling everbody.
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11.12.2015 - 01:02
Lit.
Account deleted
Written by Karlabos on 10.12.2015 at 14:30

Meh. Predictable review. You guys know no music

That's good, then. This is a prime example of "no music."
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11.12.2015 - 01:33
Jeebneus
At least the album made the reviewer furiously annoyed. You gotta give them that credit.
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30.08.2017 - 13:52
qlacs
"The Quaker"
Revisiting it, I see the appeal, and I sort of get it. It could've been good. But the excessive repetitiveness and the fact that using seriously f*cked up effects to emulate a PC dying from an endless cycle while trying to crush through some audio is seriously annoying beyond belief and got old quickly after hearing it the 10th time in 3 minutes. The continuous wall of sound doesn't give a breathing space to the listener and the music gets tiresome. The cover is exquisitely lame and goes how little effort went into the production.
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11.10.2020 - 20:39
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
This is probably the #1 all-time best Metalstorm review.
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14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum
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