Opeth - Blackwater Park review
| Band: | Opeth |
| Album: | Blackwater Park |
| Style: | Extreme progressive metal |
| Release date: | March 2001 |
01. The Leper Affinity
02. Bleak [feat. Steven Wilson]
03. Harvest
04. The Drapery Falls
05. Dirge For November
06. The Funeral Portrait
07. Patterns In The Ivy
08. Blackwater Park
09. The Leper Affinity [live] [Legacy edition bonus]
[Limited edition bonus CD]
01. Still Day Beneath The Sun
02. Patterns In The Ivy II
[Legacy Edition bonus DVD]
+ 5.0 Audio Mix Of The Original Album
+ The Making Of Blackwater Park
This charade has gone on long enough. It's time someone gave this crappy album an honest assessment.
First off, let's talk vocals. Michael Akerton is supposedly some amazing singer (I've seen soooo many reviews praising his singing) but it's like all this guy can do are these really ugly Cookie Monster growls. It's totally nasty and you can't even tell what he's saying (although the lyrics are all dumb satanic garbage anyway, so whatever). Then when he does sing for real, it's like, all not impressive and whiny. I mean, I bet I could do a better job. Try harder, Mike.
Also, what the heck is going on with those riffs? They're all random shredding and just playing notes that don't make sense. No big, catchy power chords, no cool fast riffs that old-school heavy metal bands like Metallica and Avenged Sevenfold play. They also have weird time signatures (that's how many notes per octave the guitar plays), which messes up the whole rhythm and makes the songs hard to dance to. I'm a blue belt in karate and I like to show off my moves in the pit (all the babes in my class dig it), but I can't do that if Mikhail Akunin can't even play his guitar right. Go listen to Guns N' Roses and learn how a REAL musician writes riffs.
What even IS "Blackwater Park" anyway? Like, wow, so deep. You use words like "affinity" and "drapery," so it must be intelligent. I'm in awe of how meaningful this album is, with all these instrumental jam sessions and super long songs. It's like these guys think they're jazz musicians or something. Go get a job, hippie. I don't care who you are - seven minutes is *way* too long for a song. And the song "Blackwater Park" is a whole freaking 12 minutes!!!! If Mikasa Ackermann is really this awesome genius songwriter, how come he can't figure out how to get to the freaking point already?
Just because you have tracks with extended lengths that incorporate multiple styles and push the boundaries of musical convention through virtuosic performances, unorthodox structures, and genre-spanning techniques doesn't mean you're progressive. Try listening to Periphery sometime, guys.
Oh, and by the way, this Steven Wilson guy who produced this album - also a total hack. That guy doesn't know the first thing about album production. It's super muddy, there's no bass, and the high end is all blown out. Stick to writing sad songs about birds.
*Disclaimer: This review was part of the 2018 April Fools Collection. It is actually a review of Death's Sound Of Perseverance. *
 | Written on 01.04.2018 by I'm the reviewer, and that means my opinion is correct. |
Rating:
10
10
|
Rating: 10 |
Passion. That's what Blackwater Park is all about. Pure, unadulterated passion. Forget that Opeth display musical ability and know-how that is rivaled by few. Forget that the ending to The Leper Affinity goes from what can only be described as one of the greatest jam sessions ever, to a beautiful, yet melancholic pianistic epilogue. Forget that Harvest is one of the greatest acoustic songs ever written. Forget that Blackwater Park contains the perfect metal riff. Forget that Mikael Akerfeld quite possibly has the best voice in all of music. Forget that every moment of this album will make you stand in awe of what you're hearing. Why should you forget all that? Because none of it matters. Read more ›› |
Rating:
9.9
9.9
|
Rating: 9.9 |
There are few bands that dare to continuously expand their musical sphere with each release, expecting their fans to accept the changes - even fewer succeed. Mikael Åkerfeldt, song writer and front man of Opeth, has pushed Opeth to do so since the band's inception and perhaps it's this constant change, not giving the audience a chance to adjust to one particular niche, which keeps them from ending up like so many metal bands before them: repetitive and uninspired. 2001 was the year Opeth opened the floodgates of creativity and released what many believe to be their magnum opus, an album so hyped you might doubt its brilliance. I'm here to tell you not to doubt. This is Blackwater Park. Read more ›› |
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Comments: 42
Visited by: 880 users
| ZeroTheHero Posts: 24 From: USA  |
I read this review and its exactly what i'd say about this album. By the time drapery falls plays i'm fully unengaged and likely sleeping.
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| JoHn Doe Posts: 4871  |
Written by ZeroTheHero on 06.10.2020 at 21:59 are you a troll or haven't you understood this review is an April fools joke? 
---- I thought the two primary purposes for the internet were cat memes and overreactions.
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| ZeroTheHero Posts: 24 From: USA |
I get that it's a joke, but it's exactly what i'd write about this album. Opeth just never clicked with me.
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| JoHn Doe Posts: 4871 |
Written by ZeroTheHero on 06.10.2020 at 22:50 that does not mean it deserves a 2 which means "pure shit'. I dislike some bands and albums, i wouldn't go rate them 2s though.
---- I thought the two primary purposes for the internet were cat memes and overreactions.
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| Gothic Metalhead Pro Introvert Posts: 144 From: USA  |
Written by ZeroTheHero on 06.10.2020 at 22:50 I'm with you there. No matter which album I tried to listen to, Opeth never clicked with me. I do think they're talented musicians, but this album doesn't really hit me as brilliant. More like overrated. It's not bad and I wouldn't be too harsh on this album, but I just can't get into Opeth. P.S. I understand this review is an April Fools joke.
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| AndyMetalFreak A Nice Guy Posts: 4728 From: UK  |
I know this review is a joke, but a lot of valid points are made here, obviously I wouldn't rate it a 2, although it has tempted me at times to rate it a lower score. I found most of the album uninspiring and a bit too boring in most parts, especially the piano sections. I found it uninspiring because there is too many slow parts that dragged on to long, and lacked melody in the riffs, although the accoustic moments were nice, especially on harvest, which I liked because the song didn't go on forever. I thought his growls were Ok but his singing was dull and made me sleepy, not that his a bad singer, just his vocal style. I've tried getting into Opeth, particularly this album, but it just isn't working for me.
---- http://Andy's 2024 album ranking
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| Karlabos Meat and Potatos Posts: 5658 From: Brazil  |
Written by AndyMetalFreak on 12.05.2021 at 22:03 I think this is the Ne Obliviscaris/Aquilus phenomenom. Those bands all write a similar kind of extended progressive beautifullish metal and got famous for doing that. And famous bands have that thing that the newcomers go to them first. For newcomers, such "different" approach to metal can be mindblowing and then they end up overloving the whole thing. But after you've been to the gig a while you start to notice the flaws and start realizing it isn't even thaaat groundbreaking. I mean... Sure it was at their time, but does the time even matter? I'm listening to music now, not then. I guess most ppl love this album either because it's the only thing they've heard in the genre or because they have some connection to the first time they listened to it. I think if a metal veteran listens to Opeth without prior bias, they're most likely not find it awesome. Sometimes they may find it good, even great... But not awesome.
---- "Aah! The cat turned into a cat!" - Reimu Hakurei
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| Zap Guest Posts: 3516  |
Written by Karlabos on 25.11.2021 at 22:38 You guessed wrong... I have known Opeth since 2008 and my enjoyment of them has had ups and downs, but it’s actually reached its highest ever peak only recently, after about 13 years and many, many other bands. For reference, in 2008 I was listening to Children Of Bodom a lot and that is something I can’t stand anymore. I had about 2000 ratings on this website before I nuked them all, with about 150 of those 9+, so I was/am not exactly easy to please. I’m not saying I am a metal veteran (I don’t care whether I am or not) but I’m not exactly new to the genre either. My experience is not more valid than yours but dismissing an entire band’s/album's fanbase as “it's the only thing they've heard in the genre” or “they have some connection to the first time they listened to it” is rubbish. This goes for any band in any genre. You might not think this is anything special, and that’s fine, but saying it’s only liked because people don’t know enough about metal or because they are blinded by nostalgia is just not true, although there may well be people like that. Plenty of people however spend a huge part of their musical journeys searching for something that hits the spot as much as Opeth does. Again, this isn’t limited to Opeth. It doesn’t matter what genre; some bands will have that effect on people and it’s not necessarily because they haven’t explored a certain genre enough. As for Opeth specifically, very few bands that attempt a style like this have as wide an appeal as Opeth. Ne Obliviscaris or Aquilus don’t come close in terms of popularity and never will. Which isn’t a jab at them or the quality of their music, they just don’t have that broad appeal, for whatever reason.
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| Redel Posts: 2051 From: Germany  |
Written by Zap on 26.11.2021 at 13:24 I side with Zap here. But to be fair, he said "most ppl", not "all ppl", right?
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| Zap Guest Posts: 3516 |
Written by Redel on 26.11.2021 at 13:35 True, I just found it a bit too generalising still 
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| Redel Posts: 2051 From: Germany |
Written by Zap on 26.11.2021 at 14:01 True. Listening to Opeth since 1996. BWP is among my top 5 Opeth albums. Still today, awesome album, straight 10 for me. Will spin again tonight, just for that.
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