Bakteria - Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate! review



Reviewer:
3.5

7 users:
2.00
Band: Bakteria
Album: Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate!
Release date: November 2009


01. Platypus Bestiality
02. Sea Corpse
03. Shit Vomit Enema Orgy
04. Shit In The Pussy
05. Feed Feces to The Foetus
06. Colostomy Hemorrhoids
07. Kill, Fuck
08. Crib Death
09. Castrate With A Rusty Skate
10. Sloppy Fifths In A Pus Filled Twat
11. Feed The Starving With The Rich Man's Vomit
12. Defecate Suffocate Mutilate Masturbate
13. Hospital Fuck-Fest
14. Chromosomes In The Toilet
15. Shit On My Pubes
16. Mutant


Thrash metal
Anstalt Records
Mexico
Length: 41:19


When the metal gods created the Judas Priests and Black Sabbaths of the world, they probably wouldn't have imagined something so mutated and wrong as Bakteria could have been possible. Unfortunately it was.

Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate! is pure filth, both in lyrical content and in the musical sense. This bass-heavy, manure pile of an album is a dirty, struggling thrash album trying to thrash, but being bogged down as it suffocates sinking in a pile of thick sludge. The lyrics are juvenile and fowl; the music is thick, chaotic and clumsy. The album has some pace, but even the production hasn't escaped the oozing sludge as you feel yourself starting to sink into oblivion and lose the will to live as the guitar and bass merge into one and your ears are defecated on by the constant cymbals and clumpy drums.

The album is as monotonous and stale as the slop it is wallowing in. If excrement could be put into music form, it probably would sound exactly like this. Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate! provides no enjoyable stimulation apart from four 20-ish-second long songs that act almost as a brief wipe around the face to allow a breather from the persistent, engulfing sludge.

Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate! is suffocating to sit through, it is demoralising and soul-sapping. Music is supposed to be enjoyable to listen to, and Bakteria have completely forgotten this in their childish attempts to release the filthiest album possible. The whole theme of the album is crap. The music is crap. Bakteria are quite literally crap, but they'd probably take that as a compliment.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 4
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 4
Production: 4


 



Written on 13.11.2009 by Member of Staff since 2006.


Comments

Comments: 27   Visited by: 226 users
13.11.2009 - 19:32
silenius
Those have to be the most pathetic song titles i have ever laid eyes upon, wont check this out
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13.11.2009 - 19:34
MeloDeathViking
Wow, the titles alone are enough to make me not want to check this out. Add those to the review, and now I'm guarenteed to never let this shit touch my oh so precious ear drums lol.
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"I am not superstitious, but I'm a little 'stitious." - Michael Scott
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13.11.2009 - 19:39
nb
I have never heard any of these bands that have song titles like that. I saw it is labeled as thrash metal, but isn't there a whole genre like "gore grindcore" where this would qualify?
In anyways, not interested in listening to this, I was just curious as what could get such a low score.
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13.11.2009 - 19:43
silenius
Written by nb on 13.11.2009 at 19:39

I have never heard any of these bands that have song titles like that. I saw it is labeled as thrash metal, but isn't there a whole genre like "gore grindcore" where this would qualify?
In anyways, not interested in listening to this, I was just curious as what could get such a low score.



well goregrind have similar lyrics but in most cases they are more complex or/and have a humorus content, but goregrind is a genre defined by its musik AND lyrics, this is just trashmetal with extremely childish lyrics(im a big goregrind fan myself)
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13.11.2009 - 19:49
Promonex
Cathemeral
Written by silenius on 13.11.2009 at 19:43

Written by nb on 13.11.2009 at 19:39

I have never heard any of these bands that have song titles like that. I saw it is labeled as thrash metal, but isn't there a whole genre like "gore grindcore" where this would qualify?
In anyways, not interested in listening to this, I was just curious as what could get such a low score.



well goregrind have similar lyrics but in most cases they are more complex or/and have a humorus content, but goregrind is a genre defined by its musik AND lyrics, this is just trashmetal with extremely childish lyrics(im a big goregrind fan myself)

Normally I get easily annoyed by people writing "trash metal" instead of "thrash metal", but I guess in this specific case I won't tell you off.
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All life begins with Nu and ends with Nu... This is the truth! This is my belief! ...At least for now.
- The Mystery of Life, Vol. 841 Ch. 26
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13.11.2009 - 19:51
silenius
It wont happen again i promise Promonex^^
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13.11.2009 - 20:31
nb
Written by silenius on 13.11.2009 at 19:43

Written by nb on 13.11.2009 at 19:39

I have never heard any of these bands that have song titles like that. I saw it is labeled as thrash metal, but isn't there a whole genre like "gore grindcore" where this would qualify?
In anyways, not interested in listening to this, I was just curious as what could get such a low score.



well goregrind have similar lyrics but in most cases they are more complex or/and have a humorus content, but goregrind is a genre defined by its musik AND lyrics, this is just trashmetal with extremely childish lyrics(im a big goregrind fan myself)


Thanks for the explanation!
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13.11.2009 - 20:31
The Shape 1973
Written by nb on 13.11.2009 at 19:39

I have never heard any of these bands that have song titles like that. I saw it is labeled as thrash metal, but isn't there a whole genre like "gore grindcore" where this would qualify?
In anyways, not interested in listening to this, I was just curious as what could get such a low score.

There is a genre for this already, its called crap-core or "You have to be 10 years old to find the titles funny" core.
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13.11.2009 - 20:35
Darkside Momo
Retired
Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:31

There is a genre for this already, its called crap-core or "You have to be 10 years old to find the titles funny" core.

Sounds like an old-guy rant here
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"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you" - Ray Bradbury

"I've lost too many years now
I'm stealing back my soul
I'm awake now"
Abney Park (Letter Between A Little Boy & Himself As An Adult)
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13.11.2009 - 20:38
The Shape 1973
Written by Darkside Momo on 13.11.2009 at 20:35

Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:31

There is a genre for this already, its called crap-core or "You have to be 10 years old to find the titles funny" core.

Sounds like an old-guy rant here

Busted! I must learn to be more tolerant of the music of young folk.
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13.11.2009 - 20:41
Darkside Momo
Retired
Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:38

Written by Darkside Momo on 13.11.2009 at 20:35

Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:31

There is a genre for this already, its called crap-core or "You have to be 10 years old to find the titles funny" core.

Sounds like an old-guy rant here

Busted! I must learn to be more tolerant of the music of young folk.

Not necessarily, you just have to sound less grumpy
----

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you" - Ray Bradbury

"I've lost too many years now
I'm stealing back my soul
I'm awake now"
Abney Park (Letter Between A Little Boy & Himself As An Adult)
Loading...
13.11.2009 - 20:55
Mr. Doctor
Skandino
Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:38

Written by Darkside Momo on 13.11.2009 at 20:35

Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:31

There is a genre for this already, its called crap-core or "You have to be 10 years old to find the titles funny" core.

Sounds like an old-guy rant here

Busted! I must learn to be more tolerant of the music of young folk.


No fucking way, you don't have to be tolerant with this kind of stuff. I don't want to be involved with this kind of "metal" at all because I'm young.

I heard the myspace and I felt insulted, if I thought that bands like Entombed had horrible lyrics in their latest albums.. this is just way too much, what a group of idiots.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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13.11.2009 - 21:33
The Shape 1973
Written by Mr. Doctor on 13.11.2009 at 20:55

Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:38

Written by Darkside Momo on 13.11.2009 at 20:35

Written by The Shape 1973 on 13.11.2009 at 20:31

There is a genre for this already, its called crap-core or "You have to be 10 years old to find the titles funny" core.

Sounds like an old-guy rant here

Busted! I must learn to be more tolerant of the music of young folk.


No fucking way, you don't have to be tolerant with this kind of stuff. I don't want to be involved with this kind of "metal" at all because I'm young.

I heard the myspace and I felt insulted, if I thought that bands like Entombed had horrible lyrics in their latest albums.. this is just way too much, what a group of idiots.

Don't worry I was being sarcastic. I'm surprized anybody even bothered listening to them and how did they even get a score of 3.5?
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13.11.2009 - 23:04
treptolemus
aphotic_zoning
I think that a new scene begins to emerge... More albums with that kind of stuff are coming out. When "extreme", as a definition has reached the limits(sound, lyrics, performance, acting)- bands try to become extreme using these "themes".. enough said.
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\m/etalstor\m/
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14.11.2009 - 02:15
Vitriolic Hate
Chaos Reaper
Sounds like a joke band
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14.11.2009 - 09:24
dEAthB3D
I've downloaded this album and it was clearly a joke!!
this album is disgusting, nice review baz..
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the ultimate use of treason is the treacherous use of reason
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14.11.2009 - 21:56
SlaytallicA
Lycanthropy
To be honest I only heard the songs from their Myspace and just have this so say: 3.5?? Baz Anderson, you're really a nice guy!! lol
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One Pound Of Flesh, No More No Less, No Cartilage, No Bones, But Only Flesh...
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27.11.2009 - 18:38
AnGina--
Dark Phoenix
Written by silenius on 13.11.2009 at 19:32

Those have to be the most pathetic song titles i have ever laid eyes upon, wont check this out


Word. I like the band name tho, but by the album title, songs titles and review.... Na-ah.
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22.01.2010 - 16:58
BudDa
I gotta check this out!
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Freeze! Step away from the hubris.
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29.10.2010 - 21:54
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Wow there album rating is a 1.3 thats THE worst I have ever seen.
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forever bummed out
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11.01.2011 - 08:57
Destructo
Baz, This review was hilarious to the core.....thank u for putting a smile on my face. Coming back to the album, all i can say is....Why Bother
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01.02.2011 - 00:12
ErnilEnNaur
Account deleted
Could this album be so bad that it's good? In the way Turkish Star Wars and Nicholas Cage's Face/Off were so bad that they were good?
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16.05.2011 - 13:38
Dangerboner
:D
The titles are definitely horrible, but "Chromosomes In The Toilet" is awesome

Probably will never listen to this
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17.05.2011 - 00:27
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Written by Dangerboner on 16.05.2011 at 13:38

The titles are definitely horrible, but "Chromosomes In The Toilet" is awesome

I personally enjoyed reading "Shit On My Pubes". It paints quite a picture.
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Prettier than BloodTears.
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19.05.2011 - 18:22
Dangerboner
:D
Lol yeah. That sounds difficult to clean up tbh
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10.12.2011 - 23:25
Mattybu
These guys sure know how to make a music video.



Defecate Suffocate Mutiliate MASTURBATE!!!
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11.07.2012 - 06:59
Boxcar Willy
yr a kook
Written by Mattybu on 10.12.2011 at 23:25

These guys sure know how to make a music video.



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forever bummed out
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