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| It is pretty clear that the reviewer here simply knows nothing about the subject in hand. |
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 Elio - 12.12.2010 at 18:46
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Woah
I mean, this wouldn't even be a good joke on April 1st! |
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Kenos - 12.12.2010 at 19:05
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Written by Baz Anderson on 12.12.2010 at 18:36
It is pretty clear that the reviewer here simply knows nothing about the subject in hand.
Pretty much the same thing I thought while readin this "review"... |
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Written by soulVIremia on 12.12.2010 at 18:57
For the lulz...?
No he is deadly serious. Which is why it's hilarious. |
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I think he dl'd the wrong album. he clearly knows absolutely zero about the band. make-up? evil lyrics? Enslaved? uh, sure. the worst they have in that department was posing in that leather armor back in the Frost and Eld days. no make up ever.
entire cd of growling? i think there are as many clean vocals courtesy of Herbrand as there are Grutlle's growls.
i have no problem with someone disliking the album musically, i can see where opinions vary, but it it abundantly clear he doesn't have the first clue. i really think he has never actually even heard the album... or any of theirs, for that matter, if comparing them to Immortal or Gorgoroth, i don't think he's heard ANY Enslaved album released over the past 12 years.
so congratulations, ponderer, on the single worst review in the history of metalstorm!
but thanks for a boatload of laughs and let me part with this but of wisdom:
"It is better to be thought a complete jackass than flail away at your keyboard and remove all doubt." |
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| Maybe it could be used by MS as a prime example of how not to do a review. Because it hits pretty much every target there. |
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| I love the whole Nevermore/Fates Warning/Slayer/Lady Gaga thing. This was something I would have expected to read in People magazine or something, not here. |
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Written by Guest on 12.12.2010 at 19:05
Written by Baz Anderson on 12.12.2010 at 18:36
It is pretty clear that the reviewer here simply knows nothing about the subject in hand.
Pretty much the same thing I thought while readin this "review"...
Thirded. |
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vezzy - 12.12.2010 at 19:51
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I do agree that the humor is greatly enhanced by the reviewer actually believing this stuff.
also rofl Slayer... what kind of comparison is that?
That and again with the Mercyful Fate is tr00 black metal thing. |
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| I actually raise the fame monster above this album (go ahead, insult), but I find this review 1] defending own tastes (here pretty much meaning heavy metal or slightly differing metal with solos.) 2] attack against the whole norwegian scene. And this is not that bad an album, but bores me to death, almost. |
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Such a joke of a review. Only Ponderer is stupid and ignorant enough to poop such a piece of shit from his ass. It only displays sheer ignorance and prejudice.
Sorry man, I'm almost as old as you, but clearly you got stuck in the 80s and live in your own fantasy world, far remote from reality.
Give up on metal, you're simply too old (not as for age but because of your outdated mentality) and unable to catch up.
I'm clueless as to how such garbage could have been mistaken by the staff as a review. |
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| Best review ever. I want this to be nominated as the best review of 2010. |
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Whoever proofread this failed to spot the absence of a full-stop at the end of the review, keeping the doors open for a change of heart, perhaps?
By the way, is the rating of 2.9 a counter-reaction to the 'hype' of this album, or is it the result of careful and methodological scrutiny, without any external influences? |
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Written by Zuzuz0r on 12.12.2010 at 20:15
Best review ever. I want this to be nominated as the best review of 2010.
I think Ponderer would be an excellent nomination for best MS 2010 drama. This review just secures it.
Great reading btw, funny stuff. |
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Now there is another shock genre.shock rock and now shock review.  |
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Entertaining read  |
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If I didn't know who ponderer was, I would assume he was some 14-year-old child after reading this review.
I know this review was just posted for lolz, but the list of reasons this should not have been published is much longer than the reasons it should have been. |
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*!* - 12.12.2010 at 21:11
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" Is everyone in Norway really so pissed off that there isn't any time to thoughtfully plan a cd and put some effort into the music?"
"it sounds like the rest of an already clichéd mess of metal coming out of northern Europe"
take it easy dude, you don't have to insult a whole region just because you hate an album...anyway..its your "musical" opinion |
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| Wow, what a low rating! I mean, this album was not as brilliant aws most people think it was, but it was not terrible! |
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| I disagree with the review but I find the harsh criticism heaped on someone who did go through the trouble of writing it to be mostly unnecessary. |
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Written by Czerny Reiter on 12.12.2010 at 21:43
I disagree with the review but I find the harsh criticism heaped on someone who did go through the trouble of writing it to be mostly unnecessary.
I guess you don't know his track record on this board, otherwise you would take him much less in pity.
He's been quite of an arrogant douchebag. And he derserves no credit for writing a review only out of pure spite. |
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I kinda see what happened here.. the review is published for the lulz.. it's not even 3 months since the release of the album and i got a review rejected when i submitted it 2 days before the 3 month deadline.
well done, you gave us some damn good laughs mister whoever you are who proofread it |
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Fane - 12.12.2010 at 21:54
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| Seems like someone got lost and posted his forum topic into reviews. Damn nubs! |
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Written by Valentin B on 12.12.2010 at 21:53
I kinda see what happened here.. the review is published for the lulz.. it's not even 3 months since the release of the album and i got a review rejected when i submitted it 2 days before the 3 month deadline.
well done, you gave us some damn good laughs mister whoever you are who proofread it
Yeah, I guess that's what happened. |
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The reviewer clearly lacks a decent comprehension of this band and the style that Enslaved plays. His saying biased shit like "Is everyone in Norway really so pissed off that there isn't any time to thoughtfully plan a cd and put some effort into the music?" and "It's basically a carbon copy of Immortal or Gorgoroth + (insert any band using the same gimmicks and sound from that region)." proves that he likely wrote this review without objectivity and knowledge on the artist and the style.
On another note, at least this narrow-minded review is a laugh-inducing read. |
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Written by RavenKing on 12.12.2010 at 21:50
I guess you don't know his track record on this board, otherwise you would take him much less in pity.
He's been quite of an arrogant douchebag. And he derserves no credit for writing a review only out of pure spite.
I'm aware of it and I don't even sympathise personally with Ponderer. It's just that it strikes me as 'switch-and-baity' to have the review approved only to pour down on it with righteous fury. Also the personal name-calling isn't exactly something I'd call constructive. |
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Quote:
You'll find so much more in bands like Symphony X, Fates Warning, Nevermore, Opeth, Death, Slayer, etc...
Yeah! These Enslaved fags must learn what br00tal really means! o/
They must hear the underrated Death and Opeth, victims of injustice
Hail Dragonforce!! o/ |
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Dude , dont drink too much before reviewing .. 
hah, and thats a very suitable for April fool |
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K†ulu - 13.12.2010 at 00:58
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| Well, actually the comments are more laugh-inducing than the review. |
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Written by Baz Anderson on 12.12.2010 at 18:36
It is pretty clear that the reviewer here simply knows nothing about the subject in hand.
Lol, that's exactly what I thought. Why write a review on a genre you don't like? WTF? |
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| After reading this review, seems that I clearly listened to another one Axioma Ethica Odini from another band called Enslaved too |
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I read this review and it didn't make me laugh. It's so pathetic it's not even funny to my eyes. How can you be so dumb to review something you obviously don't know a single thing about. And who proofread this? I thought Metalstorm was a serious Webzine. There is only two options...:
1-The person who proofread this was drunk or stoned and just didn't care so he/she published it.
2-The person who proofread this found that piece of garbage so funny that he/she thought it would make people laugh if they read this.
Either way, he problem is it's not very responsible to publish something that would provoke personal insults against one of MS users and it's not vey good for MS to publish such stupid reviews... I'm really wondering what is the point of publishing this, it could undermine the credibility of that website even if there is a Guest Review disclaimer at the end. |
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1] About the person who proofread this; you can't make up his/her motives.
2] The person who wrote this review, announced month or a couple months ago, that he's going to review this album to show another opinion. Well, here it is and now users can freely compare those two aspects to this album between the reviews and end up in their own conlusion.
3] Let the staff decide what's good or bad for MS. |
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| I thought metal storm would filter the reviews before post them. This review (and rating) is simply and just garbage! |
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Ohhh, the hate is strong in this one.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions of course. But in order to have an opinion, one should know the subject matter, which isn't the case here.
Absolutely no clue about the album, the author has never heard it, nor any other Enslaved album for that matter. As for entertainment value - it's funny to see how blinded by hate and own arrogance a person can be. But that's all fun that there is to it. It shows the author as a pathetic whiner who spews his hate all over the world. |
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The fact that he gives Ensiferum, Amon Amarth and Wintersun of all bands as a reference of good music made me laugh so hard, I peed a little.
Seriously, I had to read the whole part three times. This is awesome! |
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Mikyz - 13.12.2010 at 13:12
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I'm sorry but are you seriously comparing Wintersun to Enslaved? It's like comparing the size of an ant to that of a mammoth, with Enslaved being the Mammoth of course. This can't be treated as a serious review for many reasons but the most relevant one is that this is purely subjective. I mean if you dislike growling then why did you even bother to listen to this? It seems that you dislike the whole extreme side of Metal, I don't see how as an individual who isn't really into BM, has the right to review this. + The bands your comparing Enslaved to, do not even have a similar sound, they might be progressive Metal but their sound and atmosphere isn't even close to Enslaved's.
I'm sorry, but this isn't a review, this could only be described as the ramblings of an Old man who misses the old school metal era i.e 70s and 80s. If you don't appreciate innovating music then don't listen to it, and please don't review it. |
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Hahahahahahah Hehehehehehe HIhIHIHIHIHIHhihih, OMG what a lulz guy. You're really a joke! Unbelievable.
Well, at least all people know your credit equals 0 (or less)
But it was a good joke anyway  |
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 GT - 13.12.2010 at 14:24
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Written by Daniell on 13.12.2010 at 10:36
Ohhh, the hate is strong in this one.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions of course. But in order to have an opinion, one should know the subject matter, which isn't the case here.
Absolutely no clue about the album, the author has never heard it, nor any other Enslaved album for that matter. As for entertainment value - it's funny to see how blinded by hate and own arrogance a person can be. But that's all fun that there is to it. It shows the author as a pathetic whiner who spews his hate all over the world.
Can only agree with everything said here |
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M - 13.12.2010 at 19:20
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Written by disarray on 13.12.2010 at 02:19
1] About the person who proofread this; you can't make up his/her motives.
2] The person who wrote this review, announced month or a couple months ago, that he's going to review this album to show another opinion. Well, here it is and now users can freely compare those two aspects to this album between the reviews and end up in their own conlusion.
3] Let the staff decide what's good or bad for MS.
First, I wasn't trying to make up the motives of the proofreader, I was just trying to understand how such a piece of shit could find its way on MS.
Second, I didn't know that he announced that, thank you for letting me know. But, it doesn't change the fact that such a review should not be published cause it contains false informations and dumbfounded comments that are very far from the standards that a serious webzine should observe.
Third, I'm not telling the staff what to do, I was just expressing my disapointment that such pile of crap found it's way on MS. Also I wanted to say that MY OPINION was that publishing this review was no good for MS and no good for the person who wrote this. I think the proofreader should have simply told the person who wrote this toilet paper that he could not publish this for the reasons I mentionned in my post instead of publishing it just to expose this person to public humiliation.
Then again, I'm repeating it just to make shure you understand: This is just MY OPINION and I'm not trying to influence MS staff. 
P.S: Yeah and "End up to their own conclusions" lol, anybody could have predicted that the vast majority of people would have peed in their pants and humiliated the person who wrote this abomination of a review so it is not a very good argument. |
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Written by Winterthrone on 13.12.2010 at 19:52
Written by disarray on 13.12.2010 at 02:19
1] About the person who proofread this; you can't make up his/her motives.
2] The person who wrote this review, announced month or a couple months ago, that he's going to review this album to show another opinion. Well, here it is and now users can freely compare those two aspects to this album between the reviews and end up in their own conlusion.
3] Let the staff decide what's good or bad for MS.
First, I wasn't trying to make up the motives of the proofreader, I was just trying to understand how such a piece of shit could find its way on MS.
Second, I didn't know that he announced that, thank you for letting me know. But, it doesn't change the fact that such a review should not be published cause it contains false informations and dumbfounded comments that are very far from the standards that a serious webzine should observe.
Third, I'm not telling the staff what to do, I was just expressing my disapointment that such pile of crap found it's way on MS. Also I wanted to say that MY OPINION was that publishing this review was no good for MS and no good for the person who wrote this. I think the proofreader should have simply told the person who wrote this toilet paper that he could not publish this for the reasons I mentionned in my post instead of publishing it just to expose this person to public humiliation.
Then again, I'm repeating it just to make shure you understand: This is just MY OPINION and I'm not trying to influence MS staff.
P.S: Yeah and "End up to their own conclusions" lol, anybody could have predicted that the vast majority of people would have peed in their pants and humiliated the person who wrote this abomination of a review so it is not a very good argument.
okay, peace. |
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K†ulu - 13.12.2010 at 21:22
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Written by disarray on 13.12.2010 at 20:02
Written by Winterthrone on 13.12.2010 at 19:52
Written by disarray on 13.12.2010 at 02:19
1] About the person who proofread this; you can't make up his/her motives.
2] The person who wrote this review, announced month or a couple months ago, that he's going to review this album to show another opinion. Well, here it is and now users can freely compare those two aspects to this album between the reviews and end up in their own conlusion.
3] Let the staff decide what's good or bad for MS.
First, I wasn't trying to make up the motives of the proofreader, I was just trying to understand how such a piece of shit could find its way on MS.
Second, I didn't know that he announced that, thank you for letting me know. But, it doesn't change the fact that such a review should not be published cause it contains false informations and dumbfounded comments that are very far from the standards that a serious webzine should observe.
Third, I'm not telling the staff what to do, I was just expressing my disapointment that such pile of crap found it's way on MS. Also I wanted to say that MY OPINION was that publishing this review was no good for MS and no good for the person who wrote this. I think the proofreader should have simply told the person who wrote this toilet paper that he could not publish this for the reasons I mentionned in my post instead of publishing it just to expose this person to public humiliation.
Then again, I'm repeating it just to make shure you understand: This is just MY OPINION and I'm not trying to influence MS staff.
P.S: Yeah and "End up to their own conclusions" lol, anybody could have predicted that the vast majority of people would have peed in their pants and humiliated the person who wrote this abomination of a review so it is not a very good argument.
okay, peace.
haha awesome. |
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Written by disarray on 12.12.2010 at 20:07
I actually raise the fame monster above this album (go ahead, insult), but I find this review 1] defending own tastes (here pretty much meaning heavy metal or slightly differing metal with solos.) 2] attack against the whole norwegian scene. And this is not that bad an album, but bores me to death, almost.
It's not his out-of-the-norm opinion that makes this an utterly shit review, it's the fact that he really doesn't have any clue what he's talking about. The comparison to Gorgoroth is sign enough that he either A) Downloaded the wrong album, or B) He has only heard 2 black metal albums in his life.
Written by RavenKing on 12.12.2010 at 20:11
I'm clueless as to how such garbage could have been mistaken by the staff as a review.
The MS staff drinks a lot, forgive us...At least, that's the only reason I could think of for this going through. Oh well, pobody's nerfect.
Written by Czerny Reiter on 12.12.2010 at 21:43
I disagree with the review but I find the harsh criticism heaped on someone who did go through the trouble of writing it to be mostly unnecessary.
Define "going through the trouble". It sounds like this review was written with very little thought, research, or any background knowledge whatsoever.
Written by Winterthrone on 13.12.2010 at 01:54
And who proofread this? I thought Metalstorm was a serious Webzine.
Keep in mind this is a guest review, which, sorry to say folks, aren't taken all that seriously in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, they're fun to read and whatnot, but the disclaimer is at the bottom for a reason.
Please people, keep this in mind - IT IS A GUEST REVIEW. READ THE DISCLAIMER AT THE BOTTOM. Yes, we are a serious webzine, but guest reviews do not represent us as a webzine.
BTW - disregard this entire message if this review is indeed a joke. |
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Wow, I really am astounded, and have to laugh at some of the comments here. The sense of irony and hypocrisy is quite staggering. "I know, lets criticise a childish, petty, narrow-minded review by being those things ourselves!" I dont know what's worse, the review, or some of the replies! Unbelievable.  |
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One of the worst reviews I've read on this site. I guess he didn't listen to Enslaved like... ever.
I wish you at least googled "Enslaved" before writing this review, it would have helped. |
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