 Joker - 15.12.2010 at 01:21
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Well, a few words to say here:
- I love all the bands you mentioned as hell....
- I liked the album....
- I'm not a big fan of the band, it's the 2nd album i got..
- If you're so clever, then you should know that music differs from a person to another in terms of songwriting and tastes...even in the same band, everyone sees the music from his view...
- Time changes and solos ain't necessary for good music...some people view it as weaknesses and escape, or a secure way to complete a song...
- This band have at least 4 or 5 members, i think they all liked the music they're doing in some way
- The most shitty band in someone's opinion, are surely the greatest band in their own opinion cz it's their band and that's why they formed it cz they think they r the best....
- No one liked Judas Priest when they first came out
- No one liked Metal
- We're all a bunch of idiots in the opinion of britney spears and akon fans..
- I know someone who hates bruce dickinson's vocals
- Every fucking famous band have that fear of losing it's fame, so they copy themselves over and over, that's common in the thrash, heavy, progressive, power, folk metal scenes...actually in metal and music in general...
- nevertheless they still make masterpieces sometimes....
- It's simple: Listen to it, then Love it, or Hate it....then shut the fuck up...
- Nothing is Wrong and Nothing is Right...
- Still no one likes Metal
- God is Satan
- Fuck offfffffff!!!!!! |
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Some advice for you when you do a review
-Do some reserch, enslaved don't do the whole nordic metal makeup thing
-review the album, not the band, all bands have at least 1 bad album, this one may just be it
-be objective, not biased, you obviously don't like enslaved, ergo your review will most likely be negative
-just because a bands not heavy it doesn't make it rubbish - look at lost horizonm their not heavy but their good
-Compare a band to their peers-Slayer, Symphony x, Fates Warning are not enslaveds peers
"When did people give up singing for growling, screaming, and grunting as if the vocalist is suffering from a bout of violent diarrhea throughout the entire cd?" - seriously, do you listen to metal? Anal Cunt, cannible corpse, fintroll? these and countless bands who "scream and grunt as if the vocalist is suffering from a bout of violent diarrhea"
Please don't do another review. |
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"It's basically a carbon copy of Immortal or Gorgoroth"
-Ponderer
This alone is enough to show how ignorant he is about BM. Not only that Enslaved don't sound at all like Immortal or like Gorgoroth but, if he had only a basic knowledge about BM, he would know that Immortal and Gorgoroth don't sound at all like each other.
For example, I like Immortal very much but utterly dislike Gorgoroth. And you can find lots of people like me, as well as you can find people who like Gorgoroth and hate Immortal. |
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Bad review!!! I thought it was a joke at first lol  Maybe he just doesnt like the style or the band and is expressing his emotion through this "review". I have seen this guy post some bad stuff about Enslaved in the past, I think when you have such strong feeling of hate toward a band maybe you should not do a review of their material because your emotions have blinded you from reviewing fairly and then you become very biased for all wrong reasons.  |
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| The comments in here are starting to piss me off... |
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Written by Uirapuru on 16.12.2010 at 18:20
The comments in here are starting to piss me off...
Deixa pra la rapaz. Nao adianta porque eles vão reclamar qualquer jeito. Tudo tranquilo  |
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Written by Doc Godin on 14.12.2010 at 06:05
Written by RA on 12.12.2010 at 20:07
I actually raise the fame monster above this album (go ahead, insult), but I find this review 1] defending own tastes (here pretty much meaning heavy metal or slightly differing metal with solos.) 2] attack against the whole norwegian scene. And this is not that bad an album, but bores me to death, almost.
It's not his out-of-the-norm opinion that makes this an utterly shit review, it's the fact that he really doesn't have any clue what he's talking about. The comparison to Gorgoroth is sign enough that he either A) Downloaded the wrong album, or B) He has only heard 2 black metal albums in his life.
Written by RavenKing on 12.12.2010 at 20:11
I'm clueless as to how such garbage could have been mistaken by the staff as a review.
The MS staff drinks a lot, forgive us...At least, that's the only reason I could think of for this going through. Oh well, pobody's nerfect.
Written by Czerny Reiter on 12.12.2010 at 21:43
I disagree with the review but I find the harsh criticism heaped on someone who did go through the trouble of writing it to be mostly unnecessary.
Define "going through the trouble". It sounds like this review was written with very little thought, research, or any background knowledge whatsoever.
Written by Winterthrone on 13.12.2010 at 01:54
And who proofread this? I thought Metalstorm was a serious Webzine.
Keep in mind this is a guest review, which, sorry to say folks, aren't taken all that seriously in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, they're fun to read and whatnot, but the disclaimer is at the bottom for a reason.
Please people, keep this in mind - IT IS A GUEST REVIEW. READ THE DISCLAIMER AT THE BOTTOM. Yes, we are a serious webzine, but guest reviews do not represent us as a webzine.
BTW - disregard this entire message if this review is indeed a joke.
Well you are already forgiven!
I know guest reviews are not representing MS staff opinions but why do you filter the guest reviews if they don't weigh much in the balance? That was my question. My Mother always told me: "If something is worth doing, then do it good!" That's why I thought the proofreaders were a little more serious than they now appear to be. I mean if I had been the proofreader, I would have deleted that piece of crap with no mercy and told Ponderer what was wrong with he's "review". Yeah there is a disclaimer, but to me it doesn't justify the publishing of this abomination. If you think it justifies it then just publish whatever you receive without proofreading...But I don't think that's what you want? |
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Written by Winterthrone on 16.12.2010 at 22:23
Well you are already forgiven!
I know guest reviews are not representing MS staff opinions but why do you filter the guest reviews if they don't weigh much in the balance? That was my question. My Mother always told me: "If something is worth doing, then do it good!" That's why I thought the proofreaders were a little more serious than they now appear to be. I mean if I had been the proofreader, I would have deleted that piece of crap with no mercy and told Ponderer what was wrong with he's "review". Yeah there is a disclaimer, but to me it doesn't justify the publishing of this abomination. If you think it justifies it then just publish whatever you receive without proofreading...But I don't think that's what you want?
Well, you do bring up a good point, and you are right, but it just comes down to the fact that all the proofreaders have different standards when it comes to letting things through. |
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 Lucas - 16.12.2010 at 22:46
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| IMO, a review is bad when it has bad grammar and spelling etc. If you think Elton John sounds similar to Darkthrone, I do think you may want to get your ears checked, but ultimately that is your opinion. Bit of a strange thing to say, but I do believe it's true. |
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Written by ponderer on 16.12.2010 at 19:23
Written by Uirapuru on 16.12.2010 at 18:20
The comments in here are starting to piss me off...
Deixa pra la rapaz. Nao adianta porque eles vão reclamar qualquer jeito. Tudo tranquilo
yep. the entire point of this "review" was causing a stir with baseless comments and stupidity designed to fire up more stupidity in response. so congrats, mission accomplished. |
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Written by BitterCOld on 16.12.2010 at 23:00
Written by ponderer on 16.12.2010 at 19:23
Written by Uirapuru on 16.12.2010 at 18:20
The comments in here are starting to piss me off...
Deixa pra la rapaz. Nao adianta porque eles vão reclamar qualquer jeito. Tudo tranquilo
yep. the entire point of this "review" was causing a stir with baseless comments and stupidity designed to fire up more stupidity in response. so congrats, mission accomplished.
And that is why I think these baseless comments and stupidity should not have been published. |
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Written by Winterthrone on 17.12.2010 at 07:48
And that is why I think these baseless comments and stupidity should not have been published.
swell. thanks for your two loonies. much appreciated. |
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| Great comeback Winterthrone hahah |
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Written by BitterCOld on 16.12.2010 at 23:00
Written by ponderer on 16.12.2010 at 19:23
Written by Uirapuru on 16.12.2010 at 18:20
The comments in here are starting to piss me off...
Deixa pra la rapaz. Nao adianta porque eles vão reclamar qualquer jeito. Tudo tranquilo
yep. the entire point of this "review" was causing a stir with baseless comments and stupidity designed to fire up more stupidity in response. so congrats, mission accomplished.
The only thing a joke review like this one achieves is to show his author for the retard he is and lower the credibility of this board.
By the way, if you read his past comments on this board, you will know there are many things he says in this piece of shit of a review that he truely believes in. It is basically a rant of an old idiot stuk in the 80s, as a few members pointed out.
Mind you, I'm not angry at all. After all, it only makes it more obvious for all to see that the guy is a fool and his opinion worths less than shit. He's skilled at discrediting himself. |
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This is the same guy that give a 9 to Poetry for the Poisoned?  |
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Written by farfaramir on 17.12.2010 at 15:04
This is the same guy that give a 9 to Poetry for the Poisoned?
The difference is - Kamelot's review shows that he did listen to the album, which isn't the case with Enslaved. |
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Written by BitterCOld on 16.12.2010 at 23:00
yep. the entire point of this "review" was causing a stir with baseless comments and stupidity designed to fire up more stupidity in response. so congrats, mission accomplished.
Yep, I found a few of the comments just as baseless and stupid as the review itself. If not even more so, as they were using those comments to criticise the review. lol |
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| Now we all know this was posted for the lulz, what's next? |
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| Enslaved a '' Carbon copy of Immortal and Gorgoroth '' WTF . 2.9...... Most illogical and ridiculous review I ever read |
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I will try to stay on with your review:
GO VIKINGS!
(referred to the Minnesota Vikings) |
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Undoubtedly the most researched, historically accurate, and unbiased review ever to be published on Metal Storm.
You only missed pointing out that Grutle Kjellson is actually in a long-term relationship with fellow Halloween fetishist Gaahl.
I hear they have a new clothing line called Viky - Viking gear for your baby. |
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I've a feeling that ponderer is in fact a cyber-masochist that gets a boner whenever he receives a negative comment.
A big lol at mentioning Wintersun and saying they offer something musically. |
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Ponderer obviously downloaded the wrong album with emule. It happens.
Assuming he is not crazy (but it sounds a bit hazardous, considering the review), the main question is: what is the record he downloaded that deserved such a bad review?! Knowing the answer I could at least avoid an ugly release 
Too bad we'll probably never know...  |
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Oh come on! This is so obviously fake that it'd be only more obvious if the review itself would hold a banner saying 'I'm fake' on it.
Like AS has said, some of the comments here are truly ridiculous. |
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| I'm not sure what's worse, the review or the endless parade of retards getting all bent out of shape over a band that isn't that good to begin with. This cd is an exercise in boring. |
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RA - 15.01.2011 at 21:31
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Written by evoola on 14.01.2011 at 15:17
I'm not sure what's worse, the review or the endless parade of retards getting all bent out of shape over a band that isn't that good to begin with. This cd is an exercise in boring.
I know. The Troll guest reviewer is the worst. It's almost like his spirit still wanders in this site, even though he received a total ban. |
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vezzy - 15.01.2011 at 21:56
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You know, after watching "Dot Dot Dot - Animated" on Newgrounds (rofl link), I got this idea...
Well, perhaps as only a pipe dream in my mind, the same could be done here, only a) I'm not good at typography animation and I'm lazy, b) I doubt there's a voice actor half as good as D-MacX2, c) review is too long, d) no typos to mock in particular.
(still, have a laugh at ...) |
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| Beautiful flash short, dude. XD |
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vezzy - 15.01.2011 at 22:17
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Written by Fat & Sassy! on 15.01.2011 at 22:13
Beautiful flash short, dude. XD
Yeah, I know. Best NG Flash short I've seen in ages.
And it's only text and a voice-over.
P.S. the only reson I'm giving this to you @ MS is beacuase the voices where pretty good. but thats it! |
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My musical taste of choice right now is post - drone - sludge - so when the reviewer mentions:
"Enslaved seem to be more about long, drawn out almost symphonic rhythms that never really go anywhere. Where are the time changes? Where are the melodic, blistering solos?"
...ew, i am interested
"the guitars have distortion"
...sign me up!
"The guitars drone away with the same simplistic rhythms using a grand total of 3 or 4 bar chords maximum for pretty much the length of any given track"
...giddyup, full steam ahead!
That's what I like about Enslaved, each listen offers something different depending what you're looking for: Black, Viking, Prog, Post, Sludge it's all in there you just gotta dig... |
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| May ask why this garbage hasn't been taken down by the staff yet? This is even worse than the "review" trashing BG's Nightfall In Middle Earth. |
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Written by Slayer666 on 28.12.2010 at 15:50
A big lol at mentioning Wintersun and saying they offer something musically.
Hhahahah I didn't catch that part, But I found even more hilarious that Amon Amarth is in that list as well. |
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PrimalAntagonist - 27.01.2011 at 19:12
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This review should be deleted.End of story.  |
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Lit. - 21.02.2011 at 00:03
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| This is better than Jerry Springer. |
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| Ponderer, I await your RESURRECTION on this holiest of days. |
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Written by MechanisT on 01.04.2011 at 16:26
Ponderer, I await your RESURRECTION on this holiest of days.
ponderer is a living April Fool. |
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Written by !J.O.O.E.! on 01.04.2011 at 16:53
Written by MechanisT on 01.04.2011 at 16:26
Ponderer, I await your RESURRECTION on this holiest of days.
ponderer is a living April Fool.
Aye, albeit not a very enjoyable one. |
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Written by MechanisT on 01.04.2011 at 18:01
Written by !J.O.O.E.! on 01.04.2011 at 16:53
Written by MechanisT on 01.04.2011 at 16:26
Ponderer, I await your RESURRECTION on this holiest of days.
ponderer is a living April Fool.
Aye, albeit not a very enjoyable one.
'zackly! xD |
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| I've seen this user is banned. Why don't you erase this review? |
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Written by bodomroy on 08.06.2011 at 19:37
I've seen this user is banned. Why don't you erase this review?
Because it's part of Metal Storm's gag reel. |
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Written by Troy Killjoy on 09.06.2011 at 00:24
Written by bodomroy on 08.06.2011 at 19:37
I've seen this user is banned. Why don't you erase this review?
Because it's part of Metal Storm's gag reel.
I understand but this is a review that has been done only to upset other users, i simply don't agree this time and this is just my opininon  |
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Written by bodomroy on 09.06.2011 at 17:49
I understand but this is a review that has been done only to upset other users, i simply don't agree this time and this is just my opininon
We're aware of its existence and its intentions; we believe anyone with common sense will understand this review in no way reflects what the album actually sounds like, especially given the comments its received.
After all, it's a guest review - neither the band nor label were given this link, and it never appeared on the front page. No harm done really. |
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Written by Troy Killjoy on 09.06.2011 at 17:56
Written by bodomroy on 09.06.2011 at 17:49
I understand but this is a review that has been done only to upset other users, i simply don't agree this time and this is just my opininon
We're aware of its existence and its intentions; we believe anyone with common sense will understand this review in no way reflects what the album actually sounds like, especially given the comments its received.
After all, it's a guest review - neither the band nor label were given this link, and it never appeared on the front page. No harm done really.
Ok, thanks for the explanation |
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koob - 25.07.2011 at 15:01
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| This album is still pure shit... |
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Don't remove this review. This is some funny shit.
Remember ponderer's comments about Therion's Sitra Ahra album and how he claimed to be an english teacher? Well, I spotted a few english grammer errors in the 1st paragraph of his review, so he couldn't have been much of a teacher.
And Enslaved and Immortal sound nothing alike, except that they play the same genre. (havn't heard any Gorgoroth) |
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In short: when Ponderer talky about music, he actually talks about melody. So, the bands that, according to him, "do something musically", aren't some inovative composers but simply artists who make (more or less) melodic metal.
That's why he compares Enslaved to Symphony X or Ensiferum. To him, (metal) music is just something that has melody you could humm or sing along with.
In other words, n00b. |
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This album is a tough nut to crack, which is more than I can say for the reviewer, that nut was already cracked.
Might give Enslaved's earlier releases a try, this one really isn't grabbing my attention, perhaps in time. It's certainly better than most Black metal I've heard though. |
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Frost Beast - 05.10.2011 at 23:42
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| A not-so-good review with lots of factual mistakes and no basis to back up the arguments that are made by the reviewer. |
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| This review is shit, period. |
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