The first step was the hardest one to take

But I've had her voice egging me on
So strong and feminine

But once I'd found my safety line I looked back
Why had I been so terrified?
It's all absurd

But I've heard her voice egging me on
So strong and feminine
A hum of empathy has finally found me

Shadows I can see for miles from this height
Better find one just for me, I'm tired

It's time, I should turn it around
At least for those I love
My life should be a pleasurable one
And shared with those I love
But fear has an unbreakable hold
Which hurts the ones I love

As loathe as I am to see the end
With just a little taste
I have the start of a good plan...

Goddamn, it's really hot in here...

There is a question hanging over me
I'm sure it's only of my own design, but
Sometimes I worry I'm pretending
Sometimes I worry I'm a goddamned liar

And even with this new development
The vindication of x-ray'd vertebrae
I still worry I'm pretending
I still imagine I just need toughening

Twenty five years of yelled excuses
One whiff of danger and I'll look for the bigger man
I have been whittled down by demons
I am a slave to blame and vices

I just want to get along with almost everyone
An amiable prison

I had hoped time would take care of this
And that worries me too
Probably shouldn't tell a soul
Put it off until the reaper calls

Some look for answers where they don't exist
Some find the exit by their own hand
I have been made into a demon
I am a temple of blame and vices

At any moment it comes calling
Indiscriminate and irrational
I have been made into a demon
Underachieving and irrational.

Robe, gavel, gun and uniform
A racing heartbeat
With shaking limbs we meet

Who is this on my shoulder
Whispering "this will not end well...?"

Folded like clothing
Cloth and chloroform
One day a calm man
One day a dead man

Everything is fine, officer
Don't look in my eyes

I push myself to panic

I was remembering who I was only ten years ago
The confidence / arrogance divide a guiding line
I used to want the argument
But now I just don't want to disappoint

Somewhere I changed and became this
Weak, frightened and cowardly procrastinator running from the world

There's a hand around my neck
And at any moment it could squeeze
But will I die?
Probably not...

I don't miss being combative
I don't care for the adrenaline rush
I don't look for the endless fight when it doesn't matter too much
But so long did my re-invention take

Where's the line?
How will you falter, struggling alone?

Terrified in rooms of giants
Sad and shadow eyes

Who'd you fool?
Why did you punish away from prying eyes?

Come, save me
Each wave is a fight now that the water is head height

Now? Too late
Now that I'm scared
Now that my anger is stone cold and staid