Metallica - Lulu [Collaboration] review
| Band: | Metallica |
| Album: | Lulu [Collaboration] |
| Style: | Alternative metal |
| Release date: | October 31, 2011 |
| A review by: | Daniell |
Disc I
01. Brandenburg Gate
02. The View
03. Pumping Blood
04. Mistress Dread
05. Iced Honey
06. Cheat On Me
Disc II
01. Frustration
02. Little Dog
03. Dragon
04. Junior Dad
Some people righteously claim that this is not a real Metallica release and thus it can't be viewed as such. I agree. Metallica decided to co-operate with Lou Reed in his interpretation of Alban Berg's opera based on Frank Wedekind's plays "Erdgeist" and "Die Büchse der Pandora". The history behind that opera is as complicated and dramatic as one can imagine, assuming what a dark story it tells.
But it all bears no significance at all. An ordinary listener will not give a damn about the literary predecessor that became grounds for this album. All an ordinary listener cares about is the music. And this is what is the biggest failure here. A gargantuan failure of biblical proportions. A debacle of misbegotten notions. A hapless heap of humungous refuse. Even the Apocalypse of John doesn't depict an event as catastrophic as this brainfart committed by a bunch of pretentious musicians and their misguided greed for mainstream recognition.
There isn't much to say about the music here. Metallica plods along with some recycled riffs (or lack thereof, see "Junior Dad"), boring drumming and generic singing, all that hidden ten fathoms under Lou Reed's mumbling. The mumbling that is so incredibly annoying, that I feel like shooting myself so that I can never hear it again.
Creating a piece of art isn't a conscious process. You sit down, write music, jam with your fellow bandmates, then record your endeavors, and if the general public, the history and fate decide that your work was brilliant, that it's a paragon of genius for generations to come, it will be so. But you can't calculate it. To me this is what Metallica and Lou Reed did. Tried to do. Failed miserably. Nuked all that remained of any shred of respect any fan could have for them. Genius arises by the way, not by calculation. How the fuck would they know that anyway.
Forgive lack of down-to-earth dissertation of the music. Forgive the dissonant style of this review. Only two things can make me write such a rant. Either utter genius or utter shitfest at the bottom of the cesspool of miscarried intentions. It shouldn't be hard to figure out which was the case this time.
Rating breakdown
| Performance: | 3 |
| Songwriting: | 2 |
| Originality: | 5 |
| Production: | 5 |
 | Written on 04.11.2011 by Writes overly honest and totally subjective reviews when fancy strikes him. Which is not often. Which is probably good, all things considered. |
Rating:
4.3
4.3
|
Rating: 4.3 |
Lulu brings back Metallica in a collaboration album with Lou Reed. A German visionary named Frank Wedekind wrote a collection of plays about a woman called Lulu who was both a muse and a mystery, the first form of woman. Most of the songs have death, sexuality, love and spite themes. Although it's not a Metallica album, the expectation was off the charts but the result is terrible. Read more ›› |
Rating:
7.4
7.4
|
Rating: 7.4 |
The worst thing you can possibly do is treat this like a Metallica album. It is not. Lulu is a Lou Reed album that just so happens to feature the guys from Metallica as his backing band. Of course, Metallica still had to go and put their name on it, which recklessly raised people's expectations, and the heavy criticism weighed at this album is largely true no matter how you spin it. Nonetheless, while this was a disappointment, it is not totally devoid of merit, and more of an interesting experiment than a Son-of-St. Anger-sized failure. Read more ›› |
Comments page 5 / 6
Comments: 163
Visited by: 1529 users
| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493  |
Oh yeah, I remember that. Good times.
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| Andr3sfc Posts: 40  |
Words can't describe the trainwreck this album is... oh wait. =========== "I would cut my legs and tits off When I think of Boris Karloff and Kinski" "If I waggle my ass like a dark prostitute Would you think less of me" "I will swallow your sharpest cutter Like a colored man's dick" "But I open the sticks, sticky legs I bear And then insert a fist, an arm Some lost appendage Please open me I beg" "To be dry and spermless like a girl" "A puny body and a tiny dick A little dog can make you sick" "Wants to run his tongue over my hot spot" =========== Seriously, WTF. I 'actively despise' this abortion of music.
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| Panterica Posts: 341  |
Written by Andr3sfc on 12.11.2011 at 07:27 I want to say "I hear you, man" but I lost my abillity to hear after listening to this album. It's an absolutely disgusting and repolsive piece of shit.
---- Li'ed - Prog-Metal from Jerusalem https://open.spotify.com/artist/7aZWDrAAvDSLMaSmDSE8zA https://www.facebook.com/LiedBandMusic http://lied-band.bandcamp.com/
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| ErnilEnNaur Account deleted |
ErnilEnNaur
Account deleted Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.11.2011 at 18:08 Actually, I was just making a joke. And a lot of people agree with me on 2001  Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.11.2011 at 18:08 That's just because the people who hate "Lulu" cannot appreciate anything that is different, they cannot appreciate anything out of the ordinary, they just want a normal album, they just aren't listening hard enough to get the point, they just hate music altogether etc. etc. etc. See what I did there? Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.11.2011 at 18:08 No, I really was just making a joke. Nobody has given a crap other than you, my friend, nobody will. Because it was... like a joke.
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18374  |
Written by [user id=105293] on 12.11.2011 at 15:41 Believe that I'm 100% honest when I say that I found your previous post hilarious, so yeah... Joke achieved 
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| RavenKing Posts: 1941  |
I read an article about this album in the mainstream newspapers today. I've been surprised, considering that it is mainstream press and I thought they would praise the album as Metallica are involved. They gave it 0/5.
---- They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end But everybody's only looking out for themselves And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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| JohnDoe Account deleted |
JohnDoe
Account deleted Written by RavenKing on 12.11.2011 at 20:16 that's actually good news or good journalism 
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| Ernis 狼獾 Posts: 6815  |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.11.2011 at 18:08 Why do you have the need to start this here? I see you really enjoy your opportunity of leaving the impression of being superior... Bub, you fail here...
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| RavenKing Posts: 1941 |
Written by [user id=17278] on 11.11.2011 at 18:15 The most annoying and void argument. The classical reply of those who can't find any real argument to defend a piece of shit.
---- They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end But everybody's only looking out for themselves And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493 |
Written by RavenKing on 12.11.2011 at 21:17 My mind is open only on Tuesdays from 3 to 7 PM.
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18374 |
Written by Ernis on 12.11.2011 at 20:56 I don't see the "superior thing" on my comment but hey, that's just me. Being a dick (because I admit that I acted like one) isn't the same as feeling superior. C'mon, this is a forum. No one is superior.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18374 |
Written by Ernis on 13.11.2011 at 01:01 It sure as hell takes some time as I don't remember a moment when you've been a douche or troll-like, you're the friggin zen-master of this forum (this is a compliment btw, if I could be half as calm/peaceful as you give the impression to be... Maybe I can lower my heart attack risks). I don't have a good answer to your question though: I don't think it's necessary but sometimes it does provide of some over the top moments (Yasmine? Ponderer?). I honestly don't/won't think too much about this question in particular since I don't spend my days in this forum searching for some comment to pick on. Just go with the "at-the-moment gut feel".
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Ernis 狼獾 Posts: 6815 |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 13.11.2011 at 02:54 I know... it's one of those things I'm best at... In general, as my bro says bout handling douchebags who annoy people, "Don't touch the shite, it'll stink worse." However, I'm not patient enough and just have to poke when some behaviour becomes increasingly irritating. I guess the "gut-feel" can be attributed to belonging to a larger group called "2001, Space Odyssey Is Good" who never forgives those who say it's boring or sth, some people feeling especially touched personally and feeling the constant need of calling the other party "butthurt" and having gossip bout how awesome it is to irritate the opposite party, meanwhile, calling it "collective troll-feeding". Now who are the real trolls? Yasmine was an omega level troll. Few are like this one... In order to bring this discussion back to the on-topic realm, I'd like to ask if anyone's seen/heard "Lulu", the opera... I've heard just bits of it and I know that the music and storyline are both very disturbing.
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18374 |
Written by Ernis on 13.11.2011 at 03:51 You kind of wonder if it's better than the album... Then again, my bet is that it's probably better than this album just because pretty much everything is better than this album.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Uldreth Posts: 1150 |
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| ErnilEnNaur Account deleted |
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18374 |
Written by Uldreth on 13.11.2011 at 16:44 Welp, she didn't write too many post so it's not difficult to track her drama down ahahhahaha. I believe the key thread were "Do you think metal fans are more intelligent than the average person?" although it's a small dosis. Now people back on topic please, Lulu sucks amiright?
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| afu Posts: 260 |
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| Ernis 狼獾 Posts: 6815 |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 13.11.2011 at 04:44 Speaking of the "original"... here it is...
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| malaikat Posts: 405  |
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306  |
You don't bump a topic like this. >>
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Reverend X Posts: 60  |
same riff, same rant. still can't find the best tune to satisfy both old and new school listeners. it sounds like a soundtrack to an old man's monologue.
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| Angelic Storm Melodious Posts: 6675  |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.11.2011 at 19:09 To be fair, most people who do hate it think that people who don't hate it "have a problem". So it's a bit like pot-kettle-black in most scenarios like this. It seems that the motto is "bashing is okay, so long as Im the one doing it." (or the people doing it agree with me) The way I've always been is bash the album/band, but don't bash the individual for holding a different opinion about said band/album. If you bash somebody purely for liking/disliking a certain album then you really can't complain when people do the same to you. Well you can, but it just makes you look like a hypocrite.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Angelic Storm on 24.11.2011 at 05:34 I hope my post wasn't construed as me hating on others for their musical tastes. I for one absolutely despise the album, and I do question the musical taste of those who enjoy it, but I don't join a crusade against them for their ... questionable choice in music (my opinion of course).
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Angelic Storm Melodious Posts: 6675 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 24.11.2011 at 05:41 My post wasn't directed specifically at you. You may have got that impression seeing as I quoted your post, but that certainly wasn't my intention. It was simply a general observation. I see a lot of people insulting people for liking certain albums, but then get all defensive and jump on their high horse when people attack them for their opinions. Which I just find baffling and stupid. I myself, don't like "Lulu", but if someone does like it, then they're obviously getting something out of the album that I didn't, which is totally fair enough. Once you descend to the level of personal bashing just because of difference of opinion on an album, then you are fair game to be personally bashed yourself for the same reason. But annoyingly, it seems like most have the attitude of it's one rule for themselves, (and people who agree with them) and a different one for everyone else.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Angelic Storm on 24.11.2011 at 05:59 Fair enough - sometimes it's hard to tell when people are using "you" to target you specifically or if it's being used to generalize.  As for the latter part of that quote, you should know based on my recent slew of negative reviews that I don't mind people acting out against my personal opinion.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Angelic Storm Melodious Posts: 6675 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 24.11.2011 at 06:03 Yep, that can be a common misunderstanding, which is why I felt I had to make myself clear. lol So you're saying that you feel it's justifiable for you to be personally bashed for stating an opinion on an album/band?
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Angelic Storm on 24.11.2011 at 08:08 I don't think it's justifiable, no. But I don't care enough to let what someone who lives anywhere from 100 to 10,000 miles away effect me on a personal level. Troll my reviews, flame my personal taste, call me an idiot for not giving something like Master of Puppets a 10 - I don't care. Besides, sometimes people come up with genuinely funny things to say about me.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Angelic Storm Melodious Posts: 6675 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 24.11.2011 at 08:13 I guess that's my point really... Anyone who doesn't think it's justifiable for their own personal opinions to be bashed, shouldn't bash anyone else personally for holding a different opinion. Yet from what I've seen, most people are very hypocritical where that is concerned. You may not care, but you still think it's unjustified, which is the important thing. Well, posts that are mindless bashing can sometimes be (although always unintentionally) funny, which is the only good thing about them.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Angelic Storm on 24.11.2011 at 08:22 I'll still stand up for someone else who's taking flak from another user for their personal taste, especially when they cross the "your musical taste sucks" line into "you suck as a person" territory. There's really no need for that, and some people do take it seriously, even if it is just a comment in a forum. My hatred for Lulu shouldn't give anyone the right to say "Troy you're a fag" or whatever witty insults they can conjure up, but it should incite people who disagree to say "here's why I like the album" and we can talk about it. People are so quick to start an argument about something completely subjective instead of discussing what makes this entire life worthwhile: our differences. And on a site like this where people come together based on a mutual appreciation for a specific style of music, there are still opinions that reach both ends of the spectrum on a multitude of topics. Speaking of topics, we should be bashing Lulu instead of discussing user habits.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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