I laugh so hard every time I read this. Anyways if you like this..then you probably would like this..

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Black_metal

I should print this and put it to my school's doors.

lol thats great
20. Sodomize anything that is not male. (Fuzzy things look out!) XD
Not too sure about the mashed potatos one tho? lol

Look what I found...
http://www.digg.com/music/101_Rules_of_Black_Metal

102-when you are bassist in a band, try to kill its guitarist with a blunt knife.
103-VW golf is the best car for fleeing

69. Why isn't the word "Northern" in your album title yet!? Get to it! Amatuers...
70. Spelling things correctly is neither grim nor necro.

good one

Written by Lord TJ on 07.11.2007 at 20:46

Look what I found...
http://www.digg.com/music/101_Rules_of_Black_Metal

that was submitted ages after this one... very interesting...

32. Don't make jokes only your mom would get.
33. Don't make jokes.
57. All logos must include illegible writing and at least one inverted cross and/or pentagram. This is non-negotiable.
666. Own hundreds of black metal albums, demos and bootlegs. Listen to approximately 8 of them regularly.
90. Go to bed when your mom tells you to.

These probably made me laugh louder than the others...tis funny stuff

88. As we all know, women have no place in the homoerotic world of black metal, but if your girl friend still won't stop bugging you about wanting to be involved in your band, give her a lame spoken word part or something.

Or sodomize her and record the screams!!!!! [That was an alternative version of that rule... I have seen this list before in Spanish ajajjaja]

8. Don't have fun at concerts. Stand around with arms crossed.
22. When in doubt, say "True Norwiegian Black Metal!"
36. To producers of black metal albums: remember...no low end! If it doesn't hurt to listen to, it can't be "true".
58. When referring to sex with a Metal Chick use only the terminology "sticking my clouded frost-spire into her gates of attrition".
74. All pets you own now will henceforth be known as "Crucifier". Any pets you own in the future will also be known as "Crucifier".
[Now Iknow what I have to do with my hamster... HELL YEAH!

This rules were hilarious!!! xDDDD

Quote:

94. Own every Darkthrone release. Listen to exactly none of them.

Damn, Those records are even dusty

dont be gay thats a good rule

This made me laugh so much!!!!
Great list!!!:thumbup:

that was quite hilarious, you'll find my personal opinion about this in my profile coments xD

42. When asked by a non true BMer what BM is, say something like, "BM is the raw essence of pure black evil in man", in any case, make sure that by the conversations end, the other person still has no idea what black metal is.


I laughed so much!

102. No jewelry is allowed. Unless it has been bathed in the blood of christ, and/or was found in an ancient tomb off the coast of Norway.

Hahahahahaha, you guys are insane ... )

It's SO true!!!! (in any meaning of the adjectif hahaha!)

lol, funny.

Quote:
24. Turn any cross you find upside-down.

58. When referring to sex with a Metal Chick use only the terminology "sticking my clouded frost-spire into her gates of attrition".

I laughed my ass off when I read that one.

Omg That Was So Fxcking Funny.'

"Don't have fun at concerts. Stand around with arms crossed."

lol, those people really piss me off at concerts

4. Be grim.
this is cult as shit

''71. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!''

Couldn't be more right

now... what does it mean??? .... i mean.... NORSK ARYSK BLAK METAL!! RAAAAAHHHH!!

Written by mara on 23.05.2007 at 19:07

i'm mad!!!!!!!!!!
i love dani filth and mortiis

dani IS amazing

Written by Uirapuru on 02.08.2008 at 06:47

''71. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!''

Couldn't be more right

now... what does it mean???

I suppose it has something to do with the fact that Darkthrone put "Norsk Arysk Black Metal" on the back of the album TH and it became a big problem because a lot of people though that they were rasist"nazist and that kind of thing.

73. Don't be Dani Filth. (I think that's clear)

it is very clear!!!!!!!!

24. Turn any cross you find upside-down.
69. Why isn't the word "Northern" in your album title yet!? Get to it! Amatuers...
70. Spelling things correctly is neither grim nor necro.
89. Never form a band containing you, your wife and/or girlfriend, and some gay looking guy.
91. If it's rare, it must be good. Order it immediately.

LOLZ the Divine Arrival of the Massive Hoof. KVLT as fuck, well done ivan.

Written by Nazeef on 01.06.2007 at 17:26

Well, I think this topic was attracted by almost Black Metal Fans. While, in fact, Black Metal has no fans, it has Servants...
This rules were made to make fun of Black metal, focusing on the point the guys insisted on.
I love Black Metal, I need Black Metal, but I'm not devoured by Black Metal.
It seems to me like a smell which the wind carries, as it passes through your mind you load the whole spiritual status.
These rules unmasked the ephemere musical and cultural aspect of Black Metal, that entered history.
Black Metal as a music has no continuation
Black Metal as a music is only a modulation
Black Metal as a culture, belief, religion, whatever related to your Brain is like a sterile old dead father, who had no sons, and whose cries still ringing in our ears, but what we hear are only echoes....
UNFORTUNATELY, in my coutry, the situation and the stereotype still the same: CLOWNS...but with Monochromatic Make-up.
And if Britney used to be Silly, Trivial and Happy
BM used to be a little less Silly, A little less Trivial and SAD...

where did you copy and paste that from?:necro:

17. When your mom tells you to take out the garbage tell her that you're too metal to remove refuse.

hahaha ROFL


1. Don't be gay.
9. Repeat all above while denouncing organized religion in any form.
10. Never ever, EVER under ANY circumstances...
11. ...Listen to Peccatum.
20. Sodomize anything that is not male. (Fuzzy things look out!)
25. Nipple twisting is not a blackmetal activity..
27. Never ever, EVER, EVER be open-minded.
86. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh.

i would resume all of them in a single statement:
1. Don't be Gaahl

HAHAHA

89. Never form a band containing you, your wife and/or girlfriend, and some gay looking guy. (See also: rule 11)

meh... gaahl you all!!

EDIT: i forgot the rule 102. Varg Vikernes is GOD, unless you are Satanist, Paganist or belong to any Norwegian-pre Christian kvlt