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Supernatural Romance! What Is Wrong With This?


Written by: Dane Train
Published: 01.08.2011


So the other day I stopped by my local Barnes & Noble book store to pick up some new reading material. As I was heading towards the back section of the store, where they have all the Sci-Fi/Fantasy and Comic stuff so the geeks and nerds won't frighten the other customers with their conversations about which era Batman could beat which era Wolverine, I saw the most terrifying, gut-wrenching, vomit-educing sight ever: a Supernatural Romance section!

I am not kidding. This is now a fully legitimate genre that gets its own section in the largest book store chain. Now, I am a huge fan of obscure genres and people's ability to combine and create some really fantastical concepts like Steampunk. Post-Apocalyptic Steampunk with social-political allegories woven within the context of a redemption from a Christian Reformed Theological standpoint...with airship pirates! That is a genre of I would dig. But it should never be a section in a book store!

But Supernatural Romance is! And it is all Twilight's fault!

I am not one to do a whole lot of ranting like this, but this is something I NEED to get off my chest. This is not going to be a huge anti-Twilight bitch-fest but I do want to make it abundantly clear that I despise those books.

Before any member of team Jacob or Edward tires to chew me out for not reading Twilight, let me make public fact that I have. I read it for me job so I could understand what the kids were making such a fuss about. It sucked. And no, I did not read the squeals, just the first. And no, I don't need to read the rest to enjoy it. That is like me getting sodomized with a baseball bat wrapped in rusty barbwire; I didn't enjoy the first, why would I want more?

Let me just take a moment and vent on my general disdain for this inane dribble that is sweeping our world.



These are Real Vampires




These are Fictional Vampires




and yes, even him


Then we have this crap!


These are not Vampires in any sense of the word



Now that I have that out of the way let me focus on the real problem here. These books are terrible. I get it that people are excited that kids are reading again but the problem is that they are reading garbage. It is like this, you have a kid who isn't eating much but then he discovers something he really likes to eat, rat poison! Do you let him continue to consume this killing agent? If you are a responsible person you smack it out of their hand and give them a serious spanking. Don't congratulate him for eating it. That is what is happening here; kids are reading, but what they are reading is harmful for them.

Girls of this world, especially here in America face so many issues with self image and security. Twilight does nothing to help this. If anything, it is does damage in these areas. Our girls have so few positive role models these days. Seriously, turn on the TV and these are the major female players that our young women see:



Unleash the Kraken!!!


Pretty disgusting, eh?

So if we can't find our heroes in the real world we can turn to fiction. Enter Bella. She is who so many girls are reading about and being inspired by. Why can't we have more female heroines like Hermione Granger?








I found absolutely no redeeming value in the character of Bella. It is fine to have a main character start out weak and pathetic. It makes for a great Heroes Journey (see Joseph Campbell if you are not familiar with his works to learn more about Heroes Journey) when you character starts out small and achieves greatness, like King Arthur, Luke Skywalker, Frodo Baggins, Harry Potter, etc. But if your character stays helpless the entire saga, doesn't grow, and just whines the whole time, what has our audience gained from them?

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."
? Stephen King


And the great Mr. King has another quote to lead me into my next section.

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people. ? The real difference is that [Harry Potter author] Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and [Twilight author] Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." 
? Stephen King


There are truly some astonishing writers in the field of Sci-Fi and Fantasy like Mr. King and Ms. Rowling plus the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Issac Asimov, Neil Gaiman, Arthur C. Clarke, Philip K. Dick, Frank Herbert, Orson Scott Card, Robert Jordan, George Orwell, Ray Bradbury, and on and on. Meyers in not one of them. I have read fan fiction that is better crafted than her works.

This has gotten so bad that there are numerous other series in this Supernatural Romantic vein. I wouldn't mind so much if the female characters were actual strong role models, but sadly, they aren't. I know I have rambled here for a bit, and thank you for reading on thus far, but I really needed to get this out there. My biggest issue is not the tarreded vampires but what this sort of trash is doing to our youth.

Your thoughts?






Written on 01.08.2011 by Dane hails from Asheville, NC which is Beer City, USA. When he is not drinking various craft and micro brews, Dane fronts the Stoner Doom Metal band, The Quick. He also has a massive collection of Hellboy comic books.


Comments

Comments: 55   [ 1 ignored ]   Visited by: 424 users
01.08.2011 - 20:17
Marcus
Doit Like Bernie
Although I've never read any of the books, the movies are probably a good indication of how god-awful the books are. And you're probably lucky reading only the first; fans i know of the books say the later ones are even worse, but I don't really know what's lower than absolute zero...
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01.08.2011 - 20:46
BloodTears
ANA-thema
Elite
I'd like to think I have a good taste in literature and this is not my kind of literature. People can read it all they want, but I'll save my time for something else entirely different.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29

Like you could kiss my ass.


My Instagram
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01.08.2011 - 20:55
Lit. Metalhead
Account deleted
It's interesting if you compare books to music. Romance is a bit like Pop. (Metal is probably Sci-fi or something like that) It was good before but now it's just garbage.
Simply put: The books of today have be become like the music of today.
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01.08.2011 - 21:05
pazuzuovbabel
Pazuzu
I really enjoyed reading this article, finally someone had said what in my mind.
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01.08.2011 - 21:32
sordid
Qudos to you,dane train. i don't recognize anymore this self-titled vampires. they are a bunch of teen in puberty who have no dark/gothic side...very lame and girly stuff,making vampires look a non supernatural "tale".
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01.08.2011 - 21:53
Yavanna
I really think this books and movies are just stupid things, writen for children that are afraid of the dark. ( I haven´t read the books, and watched only a small part of one of the movies), but anyway, is just silly. I can´t understand why people like it. Once little girls wanted to marry a charming prince, now they want a Vampire Very foolish
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Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand
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01.08.2011 - 22:25
BitterCOld
The Ancient One
Admin
Well done.

i've bashed against the Snatch Pack* as role models for several years now, predating the Snooki Monster. nice to seethe correlation into weak and strong heroines in the popular "literature" world.

and sadly this isn't encouraging kids to read more. neither Twilight nor Potter did... they just encouraged kids to pick up those books. then again, i can't complain. i read a Hemingway short in June and haven't picked up a book since.

well done, though.


Snatch Pack ... my term for Lindsay, Paris, Nicole Richie... whores i had a (only half joking) death pool set up for. name is a playful take combining their "redeeming" qualities (being drunken meatholes) with past celeb groups The Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr.) and later the 80's movie Brat Pack (Anthony Michael Hall, Demi Moore, Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson)...
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get the fuck off my lawn.

Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
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01.08.2011 - 22:26
Introspekrieg
Totemic Lust
Elite
I don't think Meyer was fully aware of the connotations in her character writing, I think she just projected her own memories of being a fat girl in high school fawning over a boy. Hopefully girls will have stronger role models in the future, I'm glad Women's Soccer received the attention it did for now.
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01.08.2011 - 22:31
Fallen
Thank you sir for making my day. And I completely agree most of the crap kids read today is worthless crap that teaches absolutely nothing about anything. Im a big fan of alot of fantasy and fiction writers so it horrifies me that kids reading has become reading that pointless crap.
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01.08.2011 - 22:34
Void Eater
Account deleted
But hes soooooooooo cute havnt u seen him sparkl in the sun? <3 edward
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01.08.2011 - 22:39
Yavanna
Written by Guest on 01.08.2011 at 22:34

But hes soooooooooo cute havnt u seen him sparkl in the sun? <3 edward

I don´t think he is cute... I mean, what do people see in him? (besides the sparkling in the sun)
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Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand
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01.08.2011 - 22:59
The Benighted
I read the first book to see what was so 'fantastic' and found that it was absolutely atrocious, in every aspect of itself. The characters were literally cardboard cutouts with very obvious (and shitty) intentions, the plot points contradicted themselves so frequently that you could only equate it to an intense game of ping pong, and the overarching story breaks down to a creepy mormon ideology that is as thinly veiled as her desire to be the character (which she has even stated on occasion). All in all it's a banal experience.
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Learn to adapt to the change, or get washed away like tears in the rain.
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01.08.2011 - 23:24
Slayer666
Lay off, Dane, you hater. You're just jealous because Edward sparkles when exposed to the Sun and you don't. Oh, and because he has a girlfriend that looks like something that a cow spit up after several hours of intensive chewing and has serious self-esteem issues beautiful, charming girlfriend.

And Snookie is totally hot.







If you've been sodomized for the past 15 years by your prison buddies.
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02.08.2011 - 00:07
@gent_-_orange
Written by sordid on 01.08.2011 at 21:32

Qudos to you,dane train. i don't recognize anymore this self-titled vampires. they are a bunch of teen in puberty who have no dark/gothic side...very lame and girly stuff,making vampires look a non supernatural "tale".


Indeed... This pic should cheer you up though

Kain is not pleased.
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02.08.2011 - 01:04
Cyroth
Saw the movies. I was like bashing my head against my fist in rage of how stupid it is for 2 grown men to run after a girl like pre-pubescent teenagers. And this is to say the least about it...
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02.08.2011 - 01:08
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Written by BloodTears on 01.08.2011 at 20:46

I'd like to think I have a good taste in literature and this is not my kind of literature. People can read it all they want, but I'll save my time for something else entirely different.


Well I even didnt bother read more how 1th paragraph, this is ..... I prefer normal litherature, classical stuff, better Vergilius lead em true hell together whit Dante how this crap
I like vampire storuie,s books but this is modern day non sence
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I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens.

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''
apos;'
[image]
I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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02.08.2011 - 01:09
sordid
Written by @gent_-_orange on 02.08.2011 at 00:07

Written by sordid on 01.08.2011 at 21:32

Qudos to you,dane train. i don't recognize anymore this self-titled vampires. they are a bunch of teen in puberty who have no dark/gothic side...very lame and girly stuff,making vampires look a non supernatural "tale".


Indeed... This pic should cheer you up though

Kain is not pleased.


Is that kain killing the new generation vampire? lol
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02.08.2011 - 01:09
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
----
I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens.

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''
apos;'
[image]
I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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02.08.2011 - 01:18
BobMoron
Hey, it's great to read that kind of stuff around here! Thanks for the interesting words Dane Train
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'The key to making Oscar Wilde quotes is to add '~ Oscar Wilde' at the end.' ~ Oscar Wilde
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02.08.2011 - 02:46
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
I hope you dont misunderstood my post, I mean I agree whit dane about those modern vampires, I hate twilight , I would like to see 1t one due landscapes, yes landscapes, but I never ever been fan of such litherature, I prefere serius what we read in university,not this one , and there much better books, films and stories....seems old timers understand me more how my generation

Bella uhh screw the sexy ones, let tehre be metal ones
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I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens.

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''
apos;'
[image]
I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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02.08.2011 - 03:46
Joselito
This is sucks, supernatural romance in hell... is gay thinks.... METAL FOREVER
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>>>Bruto<<<
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02.08.2011 - 05:37
Crème fraiche
Well, your first mistake was going to Barnes & Noble. They're way over priced! Buy used books online or try and support a local used book store instead of a shitty overpriced book chain. I found a real cool local book store right by my house simply called The Book Place. While they might not have the biggest selection around, I usually always find something interesting, and at a reasonable price. Try that or just order used books online for cheap
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02.08.2011 - 06:06
Dane Train
Beers & Kilts
Elite
Written by Crème fraiche on 02.08.2011 at 05:37

Well, your first mistake was going to Barnes & Noble. They're way over priced! Buy used books online or try and support a local used book store instead of a shitty overpriced book chain. I found a real cool local book store right by my house simply called The Book Place. While they might not have the biggest selection around, I usually always find something interesting, and at a reasonable price. Try that or just order used books online for cheap



Most of the time I do buy my stuff from used bookstores. We have a lot of them here in my city. I went to B&N because I had to buy some stuff from my job and I get an educators discount at the store.
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(space for rent)
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02.08.2011 - 06:18
Crème fraiche
Written by Dane Train on 02.08.2011 at 06:06

Written by Crème fraiche on 02.08.2011 at 05:37

Well, your first mistake was going to Barnes & Noble. They're way over priced! Buy used books online or try and support a local used book store instead of a shitty overpriced book chain. I found a real cool local book store right by my house simply called The Book Place. While they might not have the biggest selection around, I usually always find something interesting, and at a reasonable price. Try that or just order used books online for cheap



Most of the time I do buy my stuff from used bookstores. We have a lot of them here in my city. I went to B&N because I had to buy some stuff from my job and I get an educators discount at the store.



Ah, ic ic. I feel your pain though. on the off chance I do wonder into a B&N, it's usually pretty miserable lol
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02.08.2011 - 07:26
Paradox Lover
Account deleted
I've watched the movie because my step-cousin made me and had to listen book review in class. I... am disappointed. =/ I can see why most girls fall for it though and I (as young girl) can understand why Bella is their role model. Face it - she's pretty, not very smart, everyone makes fuss around her, she's frail and weak, her friends - handsome and her boyfriend - wanted! Now... that all seems lovely, most of the popular girls are like her (they are also mean and nasty, but that's another topic...) Which girl doesn't want to be popular? I, personally, don't like that kind of literature, but it is not just the writer's guilt. Writers often write what they think would be sold (especially "writers" as Meyer). The society is creating those role models. On MTV you'll see the half-naked Britney, but would you see the elegance of Tarja? Hardly. In the movies we are exposed to those popular, hot chicks, but characters as Hermione are so rare... So the writers start to write bullshit, so their books would be sold and so they would collect the big dollars... And most of the audience doesn't complain! No, hell - they love it! And so the writers don't change what they write and basically they write the same crap, just change the names of the characters... I was talking with my father the other day and we commented on the same topic, the conclusion was that nowadays everyone who can afford publishing a book can become a "writer", which is just not right. Because my generation is becoming idiotic, I cannot explain to you what stupidity is in school. Teens at my age cannot use their heads, so the exams are copy+paste from the books...
I know I've barged about it a little bit too much, but trust me it is pain in the ass, especially if you live through it every single day... =/
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02.08.2011 - 10:40
Mikyz


I didn't even attempt to read Twilight, the synopsis on the back was enough to make me wonder why the book was sitting on the bestsellers shelf.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
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02.08.2011 - 10:53
Justicelust
Exactly, what you say is true.
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02.08.2011 - 12:14
Milena
gloom cookie
Staff
I get why Meyer became so popular for this book. It's everything an average teenage girl would ever want to read (if by average you mean 'with mediocre taste' of course). Now, I don't wanna hate people just because they have bad taste...but at least they shouldn't preach about how good a writer she is and how good a story that is! And the movies...bah...I've seen the trailer, and usually they stuff all the action into trailers so it would look like that the movie is action pack and exciting...and here even the trailer was totally empty.
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7.0 means the album is good
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02.08.2011 - 12:58
Spirit Molecule
spirit molecule
I remember someone saying that we're teaching the kids of today that necrophilia and beastiality are good things
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02.08.2011 - 13:13
Windrider
Raureif
I like your thoughts really... The only thing that I can't share is the Harry Potter stuff... I have read them when I was younger until book 5 or something, stopped in the middle and never touched one again... Nowadays I can't get what made me read it anyways...
I hate stories with children being the main characters saving the world against an army of adult zombies... It's much too unreal... I like Lord of the Rings, this is far more realistic than kids saving the world!

I used to get into Twilight as well, through the films I went to with my gf... Pretty what you said above...

If you want a real story with good and bad characters go and read Macbeth or Faust, best books ever written. People in former times just knew how to develop both good and evil characters in an awesome way! Also, this is the most metal way of writing evil stuff
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