Band:	Wizardthrone
Album:	Hypercube Necrodimensions
Style:	Symphonic black metal, Melodic death metal
Release date:	July 2021

01. Black Hole Quantum Thermodynamics
02. Frozen Winds Of Thyraxia
03. Incantation Of The Red Order
04. Forbidden Equations Deep Within The Epimethean Wasteland
05. The Coalescence Of Nine Stars In The System Once Known As Markarian-231
06. Of Tesseractual Gateways And The Grand Duplicity Of Xhul
07. Hypercube Necrodimensions
08. Beyond The Wizardthrone (Cryptopharmalogical Revelations Of The Riemann Zeta Function)

Pop quiz! Final studio day. Turns out "technical blackened death symphonic power metal" is too long for ID3 tags, after all. Do you... (Χ) scream "less is more!" and get fired? (Ξ) growl "who cares about genres?" and get lynched? (Σ) scream "wizard!", growl "metal!", then speed dial Napalm Records?

Having raced the light for long enough to overtake a years' worth of photons, I decelerated, grabbed beers and a folding chair, and sat down by the starboard window. In light rays from bygone times catching up with me, I get ready to document the Hypercube Necrodimensions studio sessions, but a damn space cat is blocking half of my sensor array and I can only see the exterior of the building. Finally, Aleksi Munter (Swallow The Sun, Insomnium) and Evan Berry (Wilderun) step outside to pay a pizza delivery guy in Alestorm and Nekrogoblikon merch. Great, I travelled halfway to Alpha Centauri to find out who are behind pseudonyms like "V. Morbistopheles Jones" and learn nothing more than Wizardthrone being a supergroup of sorts.

In real life, the closest we get to actual magic would be science. Get data, make models, and in some sense, bend reality to your will. Are your kids bored by physics? Frame those dusty equations in stories about Qthulhu (quantum Cthulhu, silly) and his hordes of dimension devourers and relativistic reavers. Would they rather play ball than do math? Spin a tale about the Riemann Zeta function's inexplicably ineffable powers over the mega-ultra-multiverse, then run away from any follow-up questions. Statements like "over the top" are quite useless in hyperbolic geometry, and Wizardthrone are, if Martin Walkyier (Skyclad) doesn't mind me quoting his lyrics, "more tongue in cheek than a French kiss from Judas Iscariot".

At a glance, Hypercube Necrodimensions could pass for blackened death metal, but Napalm Records' new wizard metal flavour quickly turns out to be tried-and-true symphonic power metal with extreme and technical toppings? then deep-fried in Lovecraftian sci-fi and served on keyboards and guitars with oodles of noodles. Solos abound, and duos even more so, as torrents of keys and strings, sometimes only one at a time, sweep the scales clean in hyperlapse without adding to (nor, unlike the spoken word sections, detracting from) the actual music. Okay, musicians can play and vocalists can talk, I kind of expected that, but can they write some good tunes?

Sure they can, but from the so-dumb-it's-clever nature of Wizardthrone's lyrical themes, I was expecting more creativity. Name the opener track after the holy grail of theoretical physics to lure in (one) unassuming reviewer(s). Drop a mashup of Children Of Bodom choruses into a Wintersun soundscape to make the enjoyable "Frozen Winds Of Thyraxia". Add bombastic counterpoints and orchestral breaks to the early-00's keyboards, and you've got two or three more songs. Replace the chorus with a Skyclad one framed in a start-stop death metal chug to switch up the rhythms for the first time in 20 minutes and make (uh oh, we've got a long one) "The Coalescence Of Nine Stars In The System Once Known As Markarian-231" a rememberable song I'm likely just one listen away from getting stuck in my head. Nope, it already has.

More than halfway through Hypercube Necrodimensions, "Of Tesseractual Gateways And The Grand Duplicity Of Xhul" offers two more album firsts: a change of tempo from semi-breakneck pace to death/doom played hurriedly, and a well-needed breather from (literally) everything with a subdued atmospheric section driven by toms and an elegantly simple piano hook that grows into a switcheroo of blast beats and mid-pace doom. Had this song been the template for the album, I might've even liked it a lot.

So, having proven their song writing skills, the 13 minute closer track should be a good one, right? A good scrapbooking of all the other songs, sure, but the thing is? I already heard those songs. I already heard this album in my teens. Music doesn't need to be original, as long as it is played well, and 15 years ago I might've liked this, had I not already been listening to a bunch of way more memorable spins on? wizard metal.