Eternal September - Your Computer Lies review
| Band: | Eternal September |
| Album: | Your Computer Lies |
| Style: | |
| Release date: | 2010 |
| A review by: | Troy Killjoy |
01. Fly On The Wall [Miley Cyrus cover]
02. Piss On Me [Britney Spears cover]
03. Diva [Beyoncé cover]
04. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover]
05. I Can't Get You Out Of My Head [Kylie Minogue cover]
06. My Love [Justin Timberlake cover]
07. Circus [Britney Spears cover]
08. Diva [Beyoncé cover] [Remix version]
09. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Remix version]
10. Circus [Britney Spears cover] [Alternate version]
11. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Belzebass Remix version]
12. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [IKKI Remix version]
13. Just Dance [Lady Gaga cover] [Ercole And His Brother Remix version]
Pop metal
Sweden
Hell Yeah! Records
Line-up on the CD:
Stephen Hills - vocals
James Nayler - vocals
Purple Tentacle - guitar
Bernard Bernoulli - bass
Hoagie - drums
Pop metal. That's right - pop metal. Not the kind of pop metal that Iron Maiden play (i.e. popular metal), but metalized pop music. Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake (all words, er, names you wouldn't expect - or want - to appear in a review featured on a metal webzine) are all covered on Eternal September's auspicious debut, Your Computer Lies.
The band is giving their fans plenty of time to wait for the physical release of the album, which will make its apparently "highly anticipated" appearance in the early stages of December 2012. As in 2 full years from now. Until then, however, one can make their way over to the band's official website and simply download the album in its entirety, with the option to donate some pocket change to the band members for their efforts. Never one to dissuade audiences from paying their respects to their favorite bands, I will encourage everyone to drop a dime or two into these Swedes' hats.
Anyway, the music. If the tracklist wasn't enough of a tell, these guys
Not much of a surprise is how none of the songs manage to go anywhere, partly a fault of the original songwriters, but also partially the band's fault for not including enough personality (or, come to think of it, maybe too much personality). The Lady Gaga worship gets out of hand, as "Just Dance" is played a harrowing five (5) times, all different from each other, yet none any better than the others. If you like sped-up pop music with guitars and a mix of harsh and clean vocals, this comes highly recommended.
My verdict? These guys are Triple A musicians! Awful, Annoying, and Abrasive. Avoid at all costs (including donations).
Rating breakdown
| Performance: | 4 |
| Songwriting: | 3 |
| Originality: | 2 |
| Production: | 6 |
 | Written on 30.06.2010 by I'm total pro; that's what I'm here for. |
Comments
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Comments: 39
Visited by: 208 users
| Visioneerie Urban Monster Posts: 810  |
How did you stumble upon this and even more curious how did you manage to pull yourself together and listen to it ?
---- Any man can stand adversity, but to test his character give him power - A. Lincoln
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| Uirapuru Liver Failure Posts: 2955  |
Quote: So the problem is not really cover the Pop music, but the fact that they suck at it? 
----  ---- member of the true crusade against old school heavy metal, early 80s thrash, NWOBHM, traditional doom, first and second wave black metal, old school death metal, US power metal, 70s prog rock and atmospheric doomsludgestoner. o/
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| Ellrohir Heaven Knight Posts: 8669  |
There is something i am not getting...i think something with the release date seems to be weird... 
---- My rest seems now calm and deep Finally I got my dead man sleep 
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| Got Mayhem? Posts: 767  |
Typical metal/deathcore 'heavy' guitars, whiny vocalist, and unoriginal ideas you say? I can already imagine how every single track will sound. No thanks Eternal September, the warning is appreciated Troy.
---- 
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| FRIENDSHIP Posts: 28  |
I listened to one song and I very much agree. Avoid! I don't know about your ideas about covers, but I think that covers of pop music by metal bands needs to be *different,* not the same with screaming vocals! Exhibit A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhZ9q4Aa1FY (superior) vs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmgphUOaie8 (funny, but not much merit) What say ye?
---- Keeping up the killing, Dylan
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| Rupert Posts: 469  |
Written by Ellrohir on 30.06.2010 at 21:37 Maybe you would've understood if you'd read the first two paragraphs.
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| Insineratehymn Account deleted |
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| marzepka87 Posts: 68 |
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| Ellrohir Heaven Knight Posts: 8669 |
So...why there is already a review here when it will took another 2 and half years to release the physical copy? any deal with label forcing you to do so? or such a serious necessity for warning people in advance? 
---- My rest seems now calm and deep Finally I got my dead man sleep
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306  |
Written by Visioneerie on 30.06.2010 at 20:00 The band messaged me with the album information as an attachment. I asked if they wanted me to review it and they said yes. Very straightforward. As for how I managed to pull through it... I'm still not sure on that. All I know is for the first time in my life, I really wanted a beer after. Written by Uirapuru on 30.06.2010 at 20:13 Not only that they suck at it, but they don't even offer anything special. It's literally just the original versions with guitars and harsh vocals (in some cases, just exact copies of the original vocalists). Written by Got Mayhem? on 30.06.2010 at 22:37 Your question is basically a summary of the entire album. I'm surprised I managed to write over 300 words about this! Written by marzepka87 on 01.07.2010 at 04:47 I'm not sure about screamo/rap. There aren't any rap undertones here, it's just pure modern pop, although I would agree that the vocals are screamo-based. Regardless, still not the best sound in the world.  Written by Ellrohir on 01.07.2010 at 23:59 I'm not sure if these guys are a joke band or what, but as far as I know their label is unofficial, the release date is sketchy (don't get me started on that 2012 shit) and the music is completely immature. If they were kidding around then maybe I would have been less harsh, as it would change the dynamic of their sound. But they provided very little information about their band/album, so I took it as a serious review request. I'm assuming, if they are a serious band, that they wanted a review done because their album is available - just not physically. Word of mouth for a digital release is better than no reviews for 2 years I suppose. To paraphrase my girlfriend (regarding the album): Quote:
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Insineratehymn Account deleted |
Insineratehymn
Account deleted Written by Troy Killjoy on 02.07.2010 at 01:35 I think he's referring to screamo-crunk bands like Brokencyde.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by [user id=5630] on 02.07.2010 at 02:48 Worst fucking "band" ever. Your Computer Lies is a work of art compared to anything Brokencyde will ever produce.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| frankeli Account deleted |
frankeli
Account deleted
Well, I find Piss On Me quite funny. Just take it as it is, humor, something funny  ;D;D;D;D:banger2: :banger2::banger2: :banger2::banger2::banger2::banger2: :banger2::banger2:
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| Edmund Fogg Posts: 1752  |
I'm at work right know so I can't listen to it but does it sound like Ten Masked Men or not? Because Pop parody can be funny sometimes
---- You cannot sedate all the things you hate - MM The Observer is the source of reality - Bloom God damn it!! What did Diddy didn't do? - Satan
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Edmund Fogg on 03.07.2010 at 03:14 No. Ten Masked Men is a more legitimate death metal pop cover band, whereas these guys are simply popcore or crunkcore or whatever the kids are calling it.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Edmund Fogg Posts: 1752 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 03.07.2010 at 03:45 Haha well it seems like an IQ test would be nessessary for some guys before releasing an album,that would really take a load off the shitty albums that comes out on a daily basis.I know inteligence is not synonym of great albums but it never hurts
---- You cannot sedate all the things you hate - MM The Observer is the source of reality - Bloom God damn it!! What did Diddy didn't do? - Satan
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| ruffio Posts: 76  |
I'm quite positive this band is a joke and them asking for a review is simply a troll. Have you seen their myspace? At the risk of bringing up the Dethklok blacklist debate,  they may be a parody band, but their music is God Tier in comparison to this garbage. Eternal September is like a april fools joke that went too far. 
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by ruffio on 03.07.2010 at 15:01 Their vocalist was actually very pleased with my review, saying he commends me for not just giving up on it because I didn't like the music. Joke band or not, the band was serious about the album - they sent it out to several "true metal" webzines expecting negative results, but at the same time they understand that even bad publicity is better than no publicity. They have about 500 fans on their Facebook page that all like their music, some members even buying merch from the band. Worst-case-scenario I would delete the profile if any Staff members requested it of me.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| frankeli Account deleted |
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by [user id=22378] on 06.07.2010 at 10:24 I can understand, grown up or not: people like talking about albums that receive severe ratings by an official reviewer. It's good humor in your opinion, but to me (and apparently to most other members here) this comes across as a boring, tasteless attempt at making metal fun. As for whether or not we are grown-ups... Maybe one day when you run your own website you can eradicate all conversation by forcing your users to abide by the laws of "being a grown-up". During my time here, however, I've come to know review comments and forum topics as ways to increase conversation - the beauty of which is most present when someone like yourself disagrees with the overall "atmosphere" of the dialog, making way for more conversation through the art of argument. 
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Roro Posts: 943  |
Hey isnt that the same day the world may end  ? i guess it will if i listened to this album
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| Sulac Posts: 242  |
Ha! This looks ridiculously lame. My friend was blasting one of the Just Dance's the other day...
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| frankeli Account deleted |
frankeli
Account deleted Written by Troy Killjoy on 06.07.2010 at 15:31 You got a point. Nicely said
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| INÆRIS Posts: 204  |
This is the worst ever. You can't do anything to pop music to make it more appealing or sound better. They're just terrible songs. Taking this record seriously is like worshipping a piece of cheese: you just don't do it.
---- Still Life, Still Death
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| Ernis 狼獾 Posts: 6815  |
Oh Lord... Lady Gaga's version is a lot better than this one... And speaking of covers, there are better metal renditions of pop music out there... "Piece Of Me" cover, in fact, is rather suitable...
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| The Night Wisher Posts: 149  |
I don't know the band neither what do they play, but from reading the setlist I can say that's 100% crap.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by [user id=108163] on 31.08.2010 at 23:32 No lies.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| vezzy Stallmanite Posts: 3493  |
Pop metal has existed for some time. You know, European power/flower metal. Haven't listened to this. And I won't!
---- Licensed under the GPLv3. Relinquish proprietary software for a greater GNU/America.
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