Lords Of Chaos review



Reviewer:
4.0


Spoiler alert: Varg kills Euronymous.

Black metal can be a touchy subject. No piece of heavy metal culture has ever invited so much enduring global controversy as the heinous activities of the early Norwegian black metal scene, which makes it a prime target for sensationalist reporting by media such as Lords Of Chaos. Run-of-the-mill metal fans often react negatively to elements of the genre being commodified by or for outsiders, but black metal especially requires a graduate degree in eggshell-treading – this branch of the family has always attracted the most insular and dogmatic of metal exponents, and its reputation precedes it as a style that can come packaged with a rigid ideology. There will never be any path to pleasing all metal fans with a representation of the time and place in history that gave rise to this subgenre, let alone effectively initiating unenlightened viewers for whom Marduk is indistinguishable from Guns N’ Roses, and Lords Of Chaos chose an unnecessarily difficult path anyway. Director Jonas Åkerlund once stated his reluctance to include much black metal on the soundtrack because of how harsh it sounds to those who are not used to it, which is both one of the most impressive self-inflicted wounds I’ve seen in cinema lately and a pretty good indicator of just how much Lords Of Chaos is willing to commit to telling the story of black metal in a meaningful fashion. It is in some way fortunate that Lords Of Chaos fails to be a compelling film regardless of how well it captures the spirit of black metal, for it relegates arguments over authenticity to the realm of pure academia where they belong (but I’m nonetheless going to open by talking about how well it captures the spirit of black metal).

Portraying the genesis of black metal earnestly and honestly was always going to be something of an impossible hurdle no matter who was at the helm, for there are many different accounts of what the Norwegian black metal scene was like. To its credit, Lords Of Chaos does make an attempt to present a nuanced view of black metal’s central figures and origins (“attempt” being the operative word). Ostensibly the linchpin of the operation, and the key to understanding the broader movement, is Øystein Aarseth himself, the self-proclaimed artistic and aesthetic arbiter of all things evil and awfully produced. There are those who buy into the cult of Euronymous and take at face value the image that he cultivated for himself: that of a demonic genius who single-handedly spun the sound of black metal from formless darkness and who directed one of music’s most powerful statements of all-purpose opposition. Others see him as a demented gremlin whose standoffish morbidity was bred from disaffection, confusion, and boredom, while others take a more cynical view of Aarseth as a manipulative, opportunistic publicist who exploited his cohorts’ proclivities for exposure. Some remember him as a dyed-in-the-wool proponent of independent music, a man who made connections all around the world to encourage aspiring artists, and others feel that he was an authoritarian edgelord whose self-important bloviation wound up dragging him unprepared past the point of safe return. Former Mayhem drummer Kjetil Manheim said of Euronymous’s encouragements of Dead to kill himself, “I don’t know if Øystein did it out of pure evil or if he was just fooling around,” and that uncertain duality seems to stalk reminiscences of his career.

Lords Of Chaos makes the synergistic assumption that all of the above were true simultaneously, continuously amending Euronymous’s established character with elements of one persona or another; depending on the scene, he is a pretentious poser-killer, a credit-stealing coattail-rider, a jaded label owner, or a traumatized kid. I find it difficult to ascribe the legacy of Euronymous to anyone who was not at least a little bit of all these things, so personally I see no reason why they couldn’t all be true. It’s a keen observation on the part of the film that real life is often murkier than a single linear account, and, ultimately, debates over the portrayal of Euronymous in this film are best left to those who knew him; I was born the year after he was murdered, so I’m certainly not in a position to adjudicate over which interpretation of his identity is most accurate. There are aspects that we can criticize with some degree of objectivity: Euronymous was not the Mötley Crüe-aspirant hedonist that he is sometimes portrayed as (nor was Varg Vikernes, for that matter), and all that the house parties and groupie-chasing serve to do is muddy the waters for any viewers who cannot recognize the difference between KISS and Windir. Perhaps they are true to life; perhaps they are fabrications; whatever the authenticity of these rock star antics, to a lot of people out there, “black metal” is just another way of describing Avenged Sevenfold, and this film makes no effort to disabuse them of that notion. We’re also treated to brief snippets of Euronymous’s life as a son and as an older brother, scenes that do absolutely nothing to contextualize him or add to the film at all, and worse yet, he’s given a girlfriend with no historical basis – first the object of competition between him and Varg, and later a bellwether for his relationship to the ideas he created. These are the “lies” upon which the film claims to be based, in addition to “truth” and “what really happened,” and they were not prudent choices. The real issue, however, is not which path the film settled on, but that its characterization of Euronymous is as shallow as a washbasin.

The question of what Euronymous was like is neither as interesting nor as crucial as the question of why he was that way, and this is something that Lords Of Chaos has no intention of addressing. Euronymous has no internality, no complex thought, no articulate motivations. The closest we come to understanding him as a person is when he deigns to narrate certain scenes with a cheesy voice-over that’s just a hair shy of the classic freeze-frame-plus-record-scratch “Yeah, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got into this mess. It all started when…” What the film fails to grasp is that balancing so many different facets of a person’s identity requires some amount of connective tissue; the audience needs to be able to piece together what has driven the character to so many conflicting actions, or else it appears to be the product of poor writing. There must have been reasons why Euronymous went from hanging out with his little sister in one scene to being fascinated by Dead’s corpse in another, but we are not privy to them. Varg suffers the same: first he’s a dopey, awkward kid who gets bullied for listening to Scorpions, and then, with no explanation, he’s a psychopathic ringleader with a deadly stare and a coherent mission. What was happening offscreen to bring about this change? Where the hell is the context for any of this? He’s supposed to be a bad person, not a bad character. You can’t just have Faust cross the background and go, “Golly, I sure do wish I knew what it was like to stab somebody,” and then later have him stab somebody out of the blue. That’s not how character development works, and it’s not how people work, either, unless they have something wrong with them that should be addressed earlier in the story.

The reason that Lords Of Chaos gets accused of sensationalizing the events surrounding Norwegian black metal is that it exhibits no curiosity about how or why all of this came to be, only that it did come to be. It doesn’t display any particular respect for black metal as an art form, which is an insult on its own that only further divides the story from its source, but it has even less interest in what black metal meant to these people such that they could become so unhinged. If you want to talk about black metal, if you want to address what happened, if you want to expose the mentality that permeated this bizarre cult, then you have to have some sensitivity as to why a group of young men might gravitate toward a quasi-religious embrace of darkness. You should have something to offer about Norwegian society at the time, about Varg’s childhood environment, about concurrent movements in the metal scene, about the allure of totalitarian chic and reckless cruelty that swallowed up impressionable teens. You should have at least seen Fight Club. Yet this film is oddly divorced from the ideologies, influences, and impacts of black metal. Oh, sure, yes, there are a couple of references to the oppressive dictatorship propped up by “the Church” (it’s the Church of Norway, which is Lutheran, in case you have any desire for details of the theological orientation of black metal’s opponents beyond “Christianity bad Satan good”); the film considers its debt to context paid by puppeteering a couple of randos into shouting “HAIL SATAN” at random intervals while they throw stuff at cars. Surprisingly, that is not enough to explain satisfactorily just what it was that these bands had as their goal, how they evolved, and why any of this resonated with the metal scene. Any snippet of the film that imputes any tangible motivation to the Black Circle features a serpentine Euronymous at his most disingenuous or a smirking Varg goading people into doing his bidding; it may as well come with subtitles explaining that it’s all malarkey. The understanding displayed by this film is superficial at best and represented entirely by unbelievable throwaway lines in which the characters can’t decide whether they are supposed to be convincing their counterparts, the audience, or themselves of whatever it is that’s coming out of their mouths. Even if the truth is that they themselves do not understand why they do what they do, there has to be some exploration of this matter, or else we’re just left with a series of things happening with no explanation and as much depth as any episode of your favorite police procedural.

The ability of a piece of media like this film to accrue any kind of worth rests on its ability to approach its subject with the most delicate balance: neither overly reverent, for fear of lionizing the grotesqueries, nor overly irreverent, for fear of misapprehending reality and alienating those to whom the subject is most meaningful. Lords Of Chaos falls into the latter trap, treating black metal as something that bored teenagers created to piss off their parents, and while it is sometimes convenient to portray the scene’s architects in such an undignified manner in order to wind back adherents who continue to take its tenets far too seriously, that approach ultimately offers no insight into how people end up in this situation in the first place, and it’s certainly not going to provide adequate warning to people on the edge of it. Youthful angst drives people to play loud music and disrespect their elders. It takes a little more than that to drive people to murder, suicide, and the kind of ignominy that black metal is associated with.

When Dead was 10 years old, he was bullied with such extremity that he suffered a ruptured spleen and momentarily died. Let’s have that again, for emphasis: at the age of 10, he was beaten to death. Timely intervention revived him, but he spent the next 12 years of his life damaged by that experience, and that’s why we hear of his strange practices like burying his clothes, collecting dead animals, and mutilating himself onstage. The film mentions this incident in passing once, but it doesn’t appear to know what to do with that information, because Dead is still just shown as a weird guy with some crazy ideas about life and death. In reality, his story is a terribly tragic one, and while it’s very nice and wonderfully black metal of him to have sent in his demo tape with a crucified mouse, Lords Of Chaos makes a grave error in believing that the only interesting parts of Dead’s experience are the transgressive stuff he did at shows and the famous image of how his life ended for the second and final time.

I believe that the film’s inability to say anything meaningful about black metal or its inventors stems from a basic problem with tone, which appears to be something endemic to Jonas Åkerlund’s feature films: he just can’t decide whether this is supposed to be an exciting comedy about buddies changing the world of music, a true crime documentary about grisly murders, a tragic story of friendship turned rivalry, a straight biopic of an important music scene, or even a horror movie about Dead. Of course there’s no continuity between scenes, of course there’s no stable characterization, of course there’s no explanation for any of this, of course the subjects aren’t treated with adequate import, of course there’s no deeper understanding of any of this information: the film just can’t sort out whether it wants to make you laugh, cringe, flinch, or vomit. The fact that all four may be perfectly warranted reactions doesn’t mean that there’s no legwork involved in sewing them all together. Lords Of Chaos consists of many short scenes with no impact or sense of progression, and its dialogue is regularly stilted, unnatural, and dull; the writing is not careful or skilled enough to keep the film walking its tightrope, and with the acting little better most of the time, the whole production collapses into an amateurish mess that has no hope of ever capturing anything remotely significant about black metal beyond “boy, some crazy stuff sure happened, huh?”

Given how many other crimes have been associated with black metal aside from those featured, given the robust streaks of bigotry and fascism that run deep in the scene today, given that death threats are still issued by fans to artists who aren’t tr00 enough (or happen to have the gall to play black metal while being a woman), a feature film released in the cultural climate of 2018 should have taken a much greater thematic interest in this music than Lords Of Chaos displays. I’m not saying that the movie failed because it did not take a definitive moral stance against the people it depicts or subject them to constant criticism, but you should wonder what it is that the movie cares about if not the ideas or the music. Even if there’s a lot to find funny about Immortal’s music videos and Burzum’s promo photos, even if I’m not about to let my entire identity be defined by the 30-year-old ravings of a man with the complexion and personality of a candle, I still love black metal as a musical idea, and I have at least some respect – not admiration, but respect – for the tumultuous scene that birthed it. Black metal achieved its goal. It was vicious, contrarian, belligerent, and evil. It was insane – just look at the results it produced. And yet from hearing the way they talk about the horrific events, one gets the impression that Ihsahn, Fenriz, Abbath, Faust, Gaahl, Blackthorn, and Hellhammer just don’t give a shit. They’re jovial or nostalgic, or at least unmoved by recollections. It is reckless to treat all of this as a joke in the way that Immortal did, and that’s exactly what Lords Of Chaos too often does. Faust stabbed a man 37 times and then repeatedly kicked him in the head while he lay bleeding to death. Why? “Well, because he thought it would be cool,” says Lords Of Chaos. Okay, but why did he think it would be cool? There are clearly deeply entrenched forces at work here; where’s the value in skipping over them, unless you actually don’t care and just want the blood spray? Lords Of Chaos doesn’t give a shit about the artistry, it doesn’t give a shit about the people, it doesn’t give a shit about the background, and it has nothing interesting to say about 1991 or 2018 or Dead or Faust or Dawn Of The Black Hearts or Venom or Satan or Hitler or paganism or MYFAROG. Euronymous’s map doesn’t even have Japan on it, and I just want somebody to recognize Sigh. This film clearly has no interest in explaining black metal to people who don’t already know everything that is depicted, and yet it couldn’t possibly have been made for people who have any attachment to black metal.

Much has been made of Jonas Åkerlund’s qualifications to tell this story. He grew up in the neighboring Swedish metal scene, he was briefly the second man of the famously one-man band Bathory, and he was responsible for one of the greatest music videos ever (which just so happens to feature Dead). I think that if it were not for Åkerlund’s Bathory connection giving him an ounce of credibility, this movie would be even more controversial than it already is, but that connection is really an irrelevant consideration, as far as I’m concerned. Åkerlund is a talented director of music videos. He is, in fact, a multiple-Grammy-winning director who has worked with the likes of Paul McCartney, Madonna, Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, and Rammstein, and he’s certainly an A-lister in that world even if his feature films have been rather underwhelming so far. That’s why the best scenes in Lords Of Chaos are the horrific montages and the scenes set to music – Åkerlund does have a honed sense of rhythm and an eye for impactful framing, and the brutal scenes of Dead’s suicide and Euronymous’s murder come out as some of the most artful and competent in the whole film. But Åkerlund isn’t nearly as skilled as a film director, and regardless of his fragile connection to Norwegian black metal, he was unable to tie together all the threads that this movie attempted to follow; in the end, Lords Of Chaos is the equivalent of a 14-year-old rattling off grisly facts about black metal to impress people. Euronymous’s final sendoff is woefully comedic, the paucity of actual black metal on the soundtrack is truly frustrating, and the film, apparently for legal reasons, credits Blackthorn as simply “Varg’s driver” (which is exactly how the courts credited him, so fair play). Whatever it was trying to be – edgy, cool, informative, entertaining, revelatory, or just plain metal – it needed to be a lot more of that. It’s a mess that is fascinated with the wrong details, has nothing profound to say, and comes off as exploitative for those reasons; most of the time, it isn’t even particularly fun.

Thus we land at a 4/10. Lords Of Chaos isn’t wholly incompetent as a piece of celluloid, but it is poorly plotted, sloppily written, and intellectually bankrupt. Much like a Burzum album.





Written on 15.09.2021 by I'm the reviewer, and that means my opinion is correct.


Comments

Comments: 30   Visited by: 219 users
15.09.2021 - 08:12
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Spoiler alert euromonoys got gf and cut his hair. Cool music in the movie, but then again story is known, told and seen, so only joy was music and letter wearing folk in the movie
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 09:44
RaduP
CertifiedHipster
The best thing about this movie was seeing Varg's meltdowns on YouTube about his portrayal in this movie.
----
Do you think if the heart keeps on shrinking
One day there will be no heart at all?


2021 goodies
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 10:40
Zap

This is one of the best reviews on this website, and it's not even for a piece of music. If I were to highlight quotes that I thought were particularly well written or insightful it would take me the rest of the day. You nailed it and I agree with almost every little thing.

I always thought this movie felt like a Wikipedia article on black metal and Mayhem/Burzum turned into a film and you described exactly why that is. Nice one.
----
And the tears that we will weep today
Will all be washed away
By the tears that we will weep again tomorrow
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 11:59
musclassia

That was an epic read, I never got round to seeing this movie and I now feel content in that decision
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 17:43
bleak

Dude! Nailed it! Awesome review!
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 18:10
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Written by RaduP on 15.09.2021 at 09:44

The best thing about this movie was seeing Varg's meltdowns on YouTube about his portrayal in this movie.

Three of the four points I awarded the movie were for the decision to cast a Jewish actor as Varg.
----
"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 18:12
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Written by Zap on 15.09.2021 at 10:40

This is one of the best reviews on this website, and it's not even for a piece of music. If I were to highlight quotes that I thought were particularly well written or insightful it would take me the rest of the day. You nailed it and I agree with almost every little thing.

I always thought this movie felt like a Wikipedia article on black metal and Mayhem/Burzum turned into a film and you described exactly why that is. Nice one.

I appreciate you saying so. While I was writing it, I felt like I kept getting lost in my own words, so I'm glad it turned out well.
----
"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 18:13
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Written by musclassia on 15.09.2021 at 11:59

That was an epic read, I never got round to seeing this movie and I now feel content in that decision

That is a good decision. The best way to experience this story is to have some dude in a Gorgoroth shirt attempt to yell it to you over his fifth beer at the back of a house show.
----
"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 19:11
angel.
Evil Butterfly
And your review failed to even one time mention that the writer of the book, Michael Moynihan, is a far-right white nationalist, a person who has a huge history of fasch-ing and denying even the Holocaust, whose book became part of mainstream pop culture not even for the sake of covering a music/subculture scene, oh wait, but we're in metalstorm, the hub for Anti-antifa people.
----
The Fangirl.
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 20:30
Zap

Written by ScreamingSteelUS on 15.09.2021 at 18:12

I appreciate you saying so. While I was writing it, I felt like I kept getting lost in my own words, so I'm glad it turned out well.

I know that feeling when writing something. I think sometimes it's just a case of knowing when a piece or paragraph is finished.

Not to worry, you came across very clearly here.

Quote:
The best way to experience this story is to have some dude in a Gorgoroth shirt attempt to yell it to you over his fifth beer at the back of a house show.

Couldn't agree more
----
And the tears that we will weep today
Will all be washed away
By the tears that we will weep again tomorrow
Loading...
15.09.2021 - 21:19
ScreamingSteelUS
Editor-in-Chief
Written by angel. on 15.09.2021 at 19:11

And your review failed to even one time mention that the writer of the book, Michael Moynihan, is a far-right white nationalist, whose book became part of mainstream pop culture not even for the sake of covering a music/subculture scene, oh wait, but we're in metalstorm, the hub for Anti-antifa people.

I neither fully grasp nor appreciate your insinuations. It is first worth noting that my review never mentions the book at all. I have never read the book Lords Of Chaos, I have no knowledge of its author or his political affiliations, and my experience with the original text encompasses only a secondhand awareness that the phrase "lords of chaos" is irrelevant to black metal and instead pertains to some unrelated chapter in the book. This is a review of the film Lords Of Chaos focusing entirely on the cinematic depiction of figures and events from the early Norwegian black metal scene. It is a well-known story and the bulk of its elements are no one's invention; it should not be necessary for me to have read or be able to comment on the book, not only because this is a review of a distinct work, but because I don't believe it is even accurate to say that this film is an adaptation of anything other than the recent past. Rather, there are two summations of historical incidents that happen to share a title. The choice to share that title is therefore perplexing, but, frankly, I consider the book and its author wholly irrelevant to this discussion; Moynihan had no involvement in the film, and there is nothing in it that you could not learn from eight minutes on Wikipedia. In short, no need to consider him at all, especially when we have Varg himself ready-made for discussion right there in the film.

Although I devoted little of the text to illustrating my own attitudes towards the politics of black metal, I do not understand how you could read my review and come to the conclusion that I would share or endorse Moynihan's beliefs. In fact, one of my chief complaints is that the film was not careful or judicious enough in its handling of those beliefs as they have been expressed through black metal. A few minutes of Googling tell me that Moynihan is a repugnant character, and I can assure you that nobody on Metal Storm's staff harbors any kind of white nationalist sympathies, but this still has no bearing on the lack of Old Funeral and Morbid in Jonas Åkerlund's film. If you have a concern about Metal Storm's community or my own review, I'll thank you to voice those concerns plainly and civilly.
----
"Earth is small and I hate it" - Lum Invader

I'm the Agent of Steel.
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 00:27
nikarg
Mod
Written by ScreamingSteelUS on 15.09.2021 at 18:10

Three of the four points I awarded the movie were for the decision to cast a Jewish actor as Varg.

I haven't watched the film (and don't intend to after what you wrote), but when I read about this I just couldn't stop laughing.
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 00:47
BitterCOld
The Ancient One
Written by ScreamingSteelUS on 15.09.2021 at 18:10

Written by RaduP on 15.09.2021 at 09:44

The best thing about this movie was seeing Varg's meltdowns on YouTube about his portrayal in this movie.

Three of the four points I awarded the movie were for the decision to cast a Jewish actor as Varg.


And the other for Kevin McCallister's Bro being Euronymous?

What a great shot that would have made, him emulating the hands on cheeks "ooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" moment as an adult in full corpsepaint.
----
get the fuck off my lawn.

Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 01:02
Karlabos
Meat and Potatos
So there's this friend of mine that keeps telling me to watch this movie every now and then.
Never got to it
----
Rose is red, violet is blue. Flag is win, Baba is you.
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 01:16
BitterCOld
The Ancient One
Written by Karlabos on 16.09.2021 at 01:02

So there's this friend of mine that keeps telling me to watch this movie every now and then.
Never got to it


Watched with MrsCOld. So my take is if you find yourself debating watching this, as SSUS said, nothing special at all... but if you are going to do it, definitely watch with a normie who knows not a fucking thing about black metal. Just for their reactions. That will be more entertaining.
----
get the fuck off my lawn.

Beer Bug Virus Spotify Playlist crafted by Nikarg and I. Feel free to tune in and add some pertinent metal tunes!
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 07:00
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Written by ScreamingSteelUS on 15.09.2021 at 21:19

Written by angel. on 15.09.2021 at 19:11

And your review failed to even one time mention that the writer of the book, Michael Moynihan, is a far-right white nationalist, whose book became part of mainstream pop culture not even for the sake of covering a music/subculture scene, oh wait, but we're in metalstorm, the hub for Anti-antifa people.

I neither fully grasp nor appreciate your insinuations.


She sees far rights everywhere , just saying.
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 07:02
Bad English
Tage Westerlund
Written by nikarg on 16.09.2021 at 00:27

Written by ScreamingSteelUS on 15.09.2021 at 18:10

Three of the four points I awarded the movie were for the decision to cast a Jewish actor as Varg.

I haven't watched the film (and don't intend to after what you wrote), but when I read about this I just couldn't stop laughing.


Like I told story is told, know nothing new. Maybe they should made XXL version about it
----
Life is to short for LOVE, there is many great things to do online !!!

Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die''

I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 12:06
Madlax

Spoiler alert: If Varg hadn't killed Euroloonymous, Necrobitcher would have finished the job.
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 12:15
KaninStryparn

Written by RaduP on 15.09.2021 at 09:44

The best thing about this movie was seeing Varg's meltdowns on YouTube about his portrayal in this movie.
can't find this on youtube. do you have the link to it?
----
Heavy Metal is the law that keeps us all united free
A law that shatters earth and hell
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 12:16
RaduP
CertifiedHipster
Written by KaninStryparn on 16.09.2021 at 12:15

Written by RaduP on 15.09.2021 at 09:44

The best thing about this movie was seeing Varg's meltdowns on YouTube about his portrayal in this movie.
can't find this on youtube. do you have the link to it?

Varg was banned from YouTube, so good luck with that.
----
Do you think if the heart keeps on shrinking
One day there will be no heart at all?


2021 goodies
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 14:02
Duck Dodgers

To give them Credit, this movie contains one Mega-Epic-Cringe... showing Varg fuck1n a girl.
Was also shocking on other level as I always assumed he lost his virginity in prison.
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 14:38
nikarg
Mod
Written by KaninStryparn on 16.09.2021 at 12:15

can't find this on youtube. do you have the link to it?

Here is one.
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 14:58
Karlabos
Meat and Potatos
Written by BitterCOld on 16.09.2021 at 01:16

Written by Karlabos on 16.09.2021 at 01:02

So there's this friend of mine that keeps telling me to watch this movie every now and then.
Never got to it


Watched with MrsCOld. So my take is if you find yourself debating watching this, as SSUS said, nothing special at all... but if you are going to do it, definitely watch with a normie who knows not a fucking thing about black metal. Just for their reactions. That will be more entertaining.

Well, to be fair I don't know if I want to watch it anymore after reading this, lol.
----
Rose is red, violet is blue. Flag is win, Baba is you.
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 16:20
metalwolf

I wonder what this movie could have been if Gaahl had directed it?
----
----------------------------------------------------------
Cthulhu for President! Why settle for the lesser evil?
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 17:01
KaninStryparn

Written by nikarg on 16.09.2021 at 14:38

Written by KaninStryparn on 16.09.2021 at 12:15

can't find this on youtube. do you have the link to it?

Here is one.

You're the man! thanks
----
Heavy Metal is the law that keeps us all united free
A law that shatters earth and hell
Loading...
16.09.2021 - 17:52
Madlax

Written by metalwolf on 16.09.2021 at 16:20

I wonder what this movie could have been if Gaahl had directed it?


Some scenes of torture, a bit of waterboarding maybe. If that were the case though, the film would've come with a guide on how to get away with a joke-of-a-prison-sentence after torturing someone.
Loading...
17.09.2021 - 10:49
ThomasBryant

I didn't know this site had movie reviews. lol
Loading...
17.09.2021 - 12:30
Ball Fondlers

Great review. I usually wouldn't read such a long post to be honest.
I was keen to see this when it first came out, even though it was getting bad reviews. Now I'm glad I didn't and will give it a miss... well unless it appears on netflix, then it makes it all too easy.

I actually think all the events that went down make an interesting story, and I did enjoy reading the book by the same name. I hope somebody will make a movie on this that has a feel for what went down, with black metal from the bands involved (If allowed, if not some first wave black metal). Probably some kind of independent film maker, and preferably made in scandinavia, even if in Norwegian with english sub-titles.
Loading...
17.09.2021 - 13:13
Madlax

Written by Ball Fondlers on 17.09.2021 at 12:30

Great review. I usually wouldn't read such a long post to be honest.
I was keen to see this when it first came out, even though it was getting bad reviews. Now I'm glad I didn't and will give it a miss... well unless it appears on netflix, then it makes it all too easy.

I actually think all the events that went down make an interesting story, and I did enjoy reading the book by the same name. I hope somebody will make a movie on this that has a feel for what went down, with black metal from the bands involved (If allowed, if not some first wave black metal). Probably some kind of independent film maker, and preferably made in scandinavia, even if in Norwegian with english sub-titles.


Honestly, no matter who does a movie based on Mayhem's early history, it will be awful, because the very events were moronic. The early days of Mayhem were akin to some dudes from an asylum full of lunatics conjured together to do music. Dead was mentally insane, Euroloonymous was a helicopterable communist with delusions of grandeur, Varg was (and still is?) an arrogant neo-nazi fuckpig who honestly believes he is a genius. The other guys weren't bright ones either. The only guy with a bit of brain was that early drummer who bailed out when he saw how crazy his company is. The only people who find something enjoyable in this crap are misfits, nerds, hipsters and sociopaths in general.

The only good movies/documentaries about this should have a different theme. Like exploring how bad the mental health system in Norway is to allow such people out of straitjackets. And how stupid and infantile the fanbase is to still glorify those events after over 2 decades.
Loading...
17.09.2021 - 13:13
Aries Rising

They should have had multiple alternate endings, each one has a different member of the band kill Euronymous. Or just one in which they all take turns killing him, ala this scene in Airplane:
Loading...

Hits total: 1528 | This month: 1528