Stormkeep - Tales Of Othertime review
|Album:||Tales Of Othertime|
|Release date:||November 2021|
01. The Seer
02. The Citadel
03. A Journey Through Storms
04. The Serpent's Stone
05. An Ode To Dragons
06. Eternal Majesty Manifest
Here at Metal Storm headquarters, we like to relax in between all our arduous work as reviewers. Some of us drink, read, or play pool in the lounge room. Radu and I decided to play some D&D when suddenly BAM! All Stormkeep’s members smashed through the door.
Stormkeep: We have come to join this party of yours!
Metal Stormers: Who the fuck are you? Don’t we have guards at the entrance?
SK: Oooh, indeed you have! But we used stealth to pass through. It failed, though, so we used our charisma to charm the guards.
MS: How did you do that? With that book you are holding there?
SK: Yes! The grand Tales Of Othertime sucked the guards right into the book’s world filled with the dark magic of winter.
MS: Well, shit. We gotta admit it. The main illustration of your book here is entrancingly beautiful. It gets your point across quite well. We remember your first volume, Galdrum. The story and gameplay weren’t that developed but it was certainly a really fun session for our party, even though it was short enough that we weren’t sure if it was a full story or not.
SK: So you guys want to get into this new adventure that we created?
MS: This is our turf, man. So we are going to be the Dungeon Masters and you will play to our amusement. Now choose your classes!
MS: What the... all of you? Really? Again?
MS: I do remember most of you were also in the Wayfarer guild, I remember you had a pretty violent, romantic story last year.
SK: Yeah, you could call that a romance with violence. But what’s your point?
MS: It kind of feels like this Stormkeep guild is a spin-off of that one, is all we’re saying.
SK: If it were so, Lord Dahthar would have already played in that guild as well.
MS: But you! Aren't you Isaac Faulk from the Blood Incantation guild? The Skullcrusher?
SK: That’s Otheyn Vermithrax Poisontongue to you. But yes, and now he wishes to pursue the class of wizard, invoking the powers of the mighty dark lord.
MS: Well, he does sound like a goblin calling forth a wintery storm.
SK: ...But he is also a bard! He is the black wizards.
MS: Goddammit! FINE! You are all bards. Do you retain your skills from Galdrum?
SK: Actually, Otheyn Vermithrax Poisontongue will no longer drum; we have found an orc, Count Victor Wolfsblood, to do it for us. This is because Poisontongue wants to unlock the twin melodies skill that will make him and Tyrannos Apokteino Skiophonos Stormward OP together.
MS: I see. That explains why there’s now five of you. Alright, but beware that I will have to give you a skill check with a -4 in intimidation because the idea and name are fucking cheesy.
SK: What? No they’re not!
MS: If you say so, keepers of the seven storms. Let’s get this started, shall we? Your party is on a quest to enter the Stormkeep and depose the Conjuror. You find yourself at the heart of winter, in the kingdom of Elda.
SK: Where’s that?
MS: Somewhere in Middle-Earth, I assume. Every fantasy series basically happens in some version of it.
SK: Okay, so it’s nightfall?
MS: Nightfall in Middle-Earth, yes. You’re under the freezing moonlight. A seer’s vision commands you to visit the citadel you see in front of you. As you approach the bridge leading to the hellish gates, a troll appears. Encounter it.
SK: We start with a Storm blast spell followed by the bard’s twin melodies of darkness triumphant. We gain a +4 in charm effectiveness as our symphonic melodies work against most troll races.
MS: Alright, roll. But you need a 14 for those riffs to sound kvlt instead of cheesy, because web trolls are especially resistant.
SK: *rolls a 12*
MS: 12 + 4. The troll loses 16 of his 20 HP. It’s his turn. It tries to taunt you by comparing you to the offspring of Bodom. It rolls a … 4.
SK: Okay, we’re gonna need some battle magic to finish it off. Either a rhapsody of flames or a harsh winter symphony.
MS: You are also equipped with an emerald sword that will give an extra +3 to the rhapsody, but only if you drop the flames.
SK: Very well. *rolls an 11*
MS: 11 + 3. Barely on the limit. But you defeat the troll. You enter the citadel. You cheerfully walk inside for a short resupply before you have to take a journey through storms. Adventure awaits. Thus you move beyond the great vast forest and into the Pantheon. There you find a portal. Encounter it.
SK: Our drum orc and the bards of the twin melodies have accumulated enough skill points in the artificer class to carefully build a carriage that has the ability to pass through gates and defensive structures.
MS: Roll for the technical quality of your creation.
SK: *rolls a d20*
MS: 15… Well, shit. Your carriage pummels through the portal of illusions with galloping ferocity. The creatures of the night that guard the serpent’s stone are alarmed and wait for your arrival. You need to roll a 6 or higher to get to the serpent’s stone. Otherwise you end up in the land of the dead, where the corpses sink forever.
SK: *rolls a 9*
MS: The cosmos unfolds. Their secrets and knowledge untold. You have reached the serpent’s stone. An orb within the highest tower of a majestic castle. Encounter it.
SK: We ponder the orb.
MS: The orb tells you of a conjurer, a dark foe, and how to defeat him by releasing the army of dragons from the dungeon. There’s a staircase.
SK: We take the staircase.
MS: You reach the dragon kings. You must persuade them to join your cause.
SK: We’ll try intimidation.
MS: Okay, but if you try it with those clean vocals, it gives a -4 to your dice roll, because you no longer have the choir ability in a dungeon.
SK: Don’t worry, our cleans have an archaic course. *rolls a 12*
MS: 8. The dragon kings are not convinced. You could try to use a synth, since those get a +4 in dungeons.
SK: No, we will play an ode to dragons on a lute.
MS: That… that is an option. Roll.
SK: *rolls an 11*
MS: The Dragon Kings shall rise once more. You depart with the Dragon Kings to besiege the citadel and usurp the Conjuror.
SK: Neat. I can’t wait to get rid of the bad guy.
MS: The cries of battle are deafening. All your previous experiences should have prepared you for this final encounter.
SK: We channel our combined strength and abilities into one last attack. Carrying frost and flame, we ride on! *All five members roll one d4 each*
MS: A combined result of 17 out of 20. Most impressive. The bloody siege reaches its end as you rise victorious. The treacherous conjuror lies dead in the snow. But wait a second. Do you hear that? The merciless winter majestically manifests itself as a queen. An empress, anointed in the ashes of the slain, takes the conjuror’s place as a new despot. You must face a new evil. Beware, brave stormkeepers, for her reign of terror has just begun. THE END.
SK: What?!?! It’s over already?!?! But we must continue! You're gonna end it on a cliffhanger?
MS: Hey, man, we know a good story when we see it. This adventure book of yours is beautifully detailed and charming. We just want to make sure we can play together at least one more time.
||Written on 12.12.2021 by A lazy reviewer but he is so cute you'd forgive him for it.|
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