Supernatural Romance! What Is Wrong With This?


Written by: Dane Train
Published: 01.08.2011


So the other day I stopped by my local Barnes & Noble book store to pick up some new reading material. As I was heading towards the back section of the store, where they have all the Sci-Fi/Fantasy and Comic stuff so the geeks and nerds won't frighten the other customers with their conversations about which era Batman could beat which era Wolverine, I saw the most terrifying, gut-wrenching, vomit-educing sight ever: a Supernatural Romance section!

I am not kidding. This is now a fully legitimate genre that gets its own section in the largest book store chain. Now, I am a huge fan of obscure genres and people's ability to combine and create some really fantastical concepts like Steampunk. Post-Apocalyptic Steampunk with social-political allegories woven within the context of a redemption from a Christian Reformed Theological standpoint...with airship pirates! That is a genre of I would dig. But it should never be a section in a book store!

But Supernatural Romance is! And it is all Twilight's fault!

I am not one to do a whole lot of ranting like this, but this is something I NEED to get off my chest. This is not going to be a huge anti-Twilight bitch-fest but I do want to make it abundantly clear that I despise those books.

Before any member of team Jacob or Edward tires to chew me out for not reading Twilight, let me make public fact that I have. I read it for me job so I could understand what the kids were making such a fuss about. It sucked. And no, I did not read the squeals, just the first. And no, I don't need to read the rest to enjoy it. That is like me getting sodomized with a baseball bat wrapped in rusty barbwire; I didn't enjoy the first, why would I want more?

Let me just take a moment and vent on my general disdain for this inane dribble that is sweeping our world.



These are Real Vampires




These are Fictional Vampires




and yes, even him


Then we have this crap!


These are not Vampires in any sense of the word



Now that I have that out of the way let me focus on the real problem here. These books are terrible. I get it that people are excited that kids are reading again but the problem is that they are reading garbage. It is like this, you have a kid who isn't eating much but then he discovers something he really likes to eat, rat poison! Do you let him continue to consume this killing agent? If you are a responsible person you smack it out of their hand and give them a serious spanking. Don't congratulate him for eating it. That is what is happening here; kids are reading, but what they are reading is harmful for them.

Girls of this world, especially here in America face so many issues with self image and security. Twilight does nothing to help this. If anything, it is does damage in these areas. Our girls have so few positive role models these days. Seriously, turn on the TV and these are the major female players that our young women see:



Unleash the Kraken!!!


Pretty disgusting, eh?

So if we can't find our heroes in the real world we can turn to fiction. Enter Bella. She is who so many girls are reading about and being inspired by. Why can't we have more female heroines like Hermione Granger?








I found absolutely no redeeming value in the character of Bella. It is fine to have a main character start out weak and pathetic. It makes for a great Heroes Journey (see Joseph Campbell if you are not familiar with his works to learn more about Heroes Journey) when you character starts out small and achieves greatness, like King Arthur, Luke Skywalker, Frodo Baggins, Harry Potter, etc. But if your character stays helpless the entire saga, doesn't grow, and just whines the whole time, what has our audience gained from them?

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."
 Stephen King


And the great Mr. King has another quote to lead me into my next section.

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people. The real difference is that [Harry Potter author] Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and [Twilight author] Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." 
 Stephen King


There are truly some astonishing writers in the field of Sci-Fi and Fantasy like Mr. King and Ms. Rowling plus the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Issac Asimov, Neil Gaiman, Arthur C. Clarke, Philip K. Dick, Frank Herbert, Orson Scott Card, Robert Jordan, George Orwell, Ray Bradbury, and on and on. Meyers in not one of them. I have read fan fiction that is better crafted than her works.

This has gotten so bad that there are numerous other series in this Supernatural Romantic vein. I wouldn't mind so much if the female characters were actual strong role models, but sadly, they aren't. I know I have rambled here for a bit, and thank you for reading on thus far, but I really needed to get this out there. My biggest issue is not the tarreded vampires but what this sort of trash is doing to our youth.

Your thoughts?



 



Posted on 01.08.2011 by Dane hails from Asheville, NC which is Beer City, USA. When he is not drinking various craft and micro brews, Dane fronts the Stoner Doom Metal band, The Quick. He also has a massive collection of Hellboy comic books.


Comments page 2 / 2

Comments: 56   Visited by: 415 users
02.08.2011 - 13:13
Windrider
Der Trauerweider

Posts: 647
From: Germany

I like your thoughts really... The only thing that I can't share is the Harry Potter stuff... I have read them when I was younger until book 5 or something, stopped in the middle and never touched one again... Nowadays I can't get what made me read it anyways...
I hate stories with children being the main characters saving the world against an army of adult zombies... It's much too unreal... I like Lord of the Rings, this is far more realistic than kids saving the world!

I used to get into Twilight as well, through the films I went to with my gf... Pretty what you said above...

If you want a real story with good and bad characters go and read Macbeth or Faust, best books ever written. People in former times just knew how to develop both good and evil characters in an awesome way! Also, this is the most metal way of writing evil stuff
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02.08.2011 - 14:44
Spirit Molecule
spirit molecule

Posts: 1918
From: India

Written by Windrider on 02.08.2011 at 13:13

I like your thoughts really... The only thing that I can't share is the Harry Potter stuff... I have read them when I was younger until book 5 or something, stopped in the middle and never touched one again... Nowadays I can't get what made me read it anyways...
I hate stories with children being the main characters saving the world against an army of adult zombies... It's much too unreal... I like Lord of the Rings, this is far more realistic than kids saving the world!

I used to get into Twilight as well, through the films I went to with my gf... Pretty what you said above...

If you want a real story with good and bad characters go and read Macbeth or Faust, best books ever written. People in former times just knew how to develop both good and evil characters in an awesome way! Also, this is the most metal way of writing evil stuff


LOTR had midgets against an army of super cool zombies, big fuckers i must add, thats definitely far more realistic
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02.08.2011 - 17:27
Mr. Doctor
Skandino

Posts: 16468
From: Sweden

Written by Windrider on 02.08.2011 at 13:13

I like your thoughts really... The only thing that I can't share is the Harry Potter stuff... I have read them when I was younger until book 5 or something, stopped in the middle and never touched one again... Nowadays I can't get what made me read it anyways...
I hate stories with children being the main characters saving the world against an army of adult zombies... It's much too unreal... I like Lord of the Rings, this is far more realistic than kids saving the world!


You're just comparing if LOTR or Harry Potter is the most realistic book. Sorry man but you argument kind of loose streght just by saying that. XD
What Dave is commenting is that books like Harry Potter have a message, sort of model roles that kids can relate to, which is pretty nice. The same can't apply for Twillight.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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02.08.2011 - 18:45
Windrider
Der Trauerweider

Posts: 647
From: Germany

Written by Mr. Doctor on 02.08.2011 at 17:27

Written by Windrider on 02.08.2011 at 13:13

I like your thoughts really... The only thing that I can't share is the Harry Potter stuff... I have read them when I was younger until book 5 or something, stopped in the middle and never touched one again... Nowadays I can't get what made me read it anyways...
I hate stories with children being the main characters saving the world against an army of adult zombies... It's much too unreal... I like Lord of the Rings, this is far more realistic than kids saving the world!


You're just comparing if LOTR or Harry Potter is the most realistic book. Sorry man but you argument kind of loose streght just by saying that. XD
What Dave is commenting is that books like Harry Potter have a message, sort of model roles that kids can relate to, which is pretty nice. The same can't apply for Twillight.


No one gets my jokes
And if you tell of that, you can say that in Twilight characters also represent some model roles, but they are gay, which marks the difference. And Harry Potter only features some kind of message as long as you are a child.
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02.08.2011 - 20:18
Mr. Doctor
Skandino

Posts: 16468
From: Sweden

Written by Windrider on 02.08.2011 at 18:45

And Harry Potter only features some kind of message as long as you are a child.


Most of the Harry potter IS FOR kids... so... obviously the message is to them., duh.
Although you stopped by the fifith book which means you haven't read the last one which is said to be a book for more amture readers since the characters are older now.
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Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass
Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.
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02.08.2011 - 21:04
Sasha Batrakov
Account deleted
Lmaooooooooo! So funny hahaha
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02.08.2011 - 21:40
Windrider
Der Trauerweider

Posts: 647
From: Germany

Written by Mr. Doctor on 02.08.2011 at 20:18

Written by Windrider on 02.08.2011 at 18:45

And Harry Potter only features some kind of message as long as you are a child.


Most of the Harry potter IS FOR kids... so... obviously the message is to them., duh.
Although you stopped by the fifith book which means you haven't read the last one which is said to be a book for more amture readers since the characters are older now.


I am sorry but I was definetely unable to continue the journey through Rowling's sick mind...
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03.08.2011 - 08:11
Daggon
Underpaid M.D.

Posts: 1644
From: Mexico

Man, I totally agree with this, I gotta say, Twilight is just about a depressed teenager who can't stand a chance if she's all alone...
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03.08.2011 - 09:49
qlacs
"The Quaker"

Posts: 1039
From: Hungary

Both the article and the girls who are commented have some good things in mind. Things that should have been in everyone's head.

The article was funny, although I don't think you should be uptight about having a this kind of section in a bookstore. Just avoid it. If anything these would be removed after the hype (the Twilight-shitstorm) is ended.
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03.08.2011 - 21:01
bluegreengod
Account deleted
I've never heard of a single person pictured except for Lugosi and the 'real vampires'. Sad I had to learn about all this on MS.
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03.08.2011 - 22:46
Fat & Sassy!
Nomcat

Posts: 3851
From: USA

Written by Windrider on 02.08.2011 at 18:45

And Harry Potter only features some kind of message as long as you are a child.


I am by no means a big Potter fan, but I think a good amount of the themes taught in the stories are relative to people of all ages, much like Stephen King stated in the first quote. Sometimes we need to be reminded, even as adults, of our inner potential to overcome the obstacles in our lives. ;3
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"Information is not knowledge
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is not truth
Truth is not beauty
Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST..." ____Frank Zappa
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04.08.2011 - 01:41
Roro

Posts: 943
From: Egypt

Very interesting article, well done
for me, i find both stories are worthy to read and see. i am not talking any of their characters as an idol and i never give a though of comparing to be honest. the only thing i am sure of that i never get bored watching them over and over lol
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05.08.2011 - 09:11
SPNkitkat

Posts: 17
From: Australia
love this article! And reading all the comments too. It's kind of like reading my own thoughts about it, except with slightly less swearing & rage
(Another author that you must add to your list of awesome there is George R R Martin. If you haven't heard of him, go read A Song of Ice & Fire NOW! -or at least go watch the TV how Game of Thrones, coz that's the first book right there ;P)

Written by Guest on 01.08.2011 at 20:55

It's interesting if you compare books to music. Romance is a bit like Pop. (Metal is probably Sci-fi or something like that) It was good before but now it's just garbage.
Simply put: The books of today have be become like the music of today.

^And I like your thoughts there. These romance novels are of about equal quality to all the radio pop. If not worse.
Metal probably would be sci-fi or fantasy.
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05.08.2011 - 16:00
R'Vannith
ghedengi

Posts: 3099
From: Australia

I have to say it's not really the quality of the content involved here that I find objectionable, it's (like the article says) the bizarre fact that an entire genre of literature, supposedly, has been created essentially from pure crap. After all literature has always produced the good and the bad. For humanity's sake we can only hope that this grotesque excuse for fiction isn't lasting in any way and this 'Supernatural Romance' dies out as rapidly as it has spread. Fine if it continues without being given such an undeserved status as having its own genre.
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07.08.2011 - 07:33
Guib
Thrash Talker

Posts: 2371
From: Canada

I loved the comparison of *Gilles de Rais* and his crimes as a child killer with vampirism simply great. This man was fucking mad... or would *totally fucking insane* fit him better ?
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07.08.2011 - 07:36
4look4rd
The Sasquatch

Posts: 776
From: USA

Written by Windrider on 02.08.2011 at 18:45

And Harry Potter only features some kind of message as long as you are a child.


I do not agree with this. I never got into harry potter when I was kid. It just didn't click for me. Now that I am on my early twenties I feel like I can fully appreciate it. Harry Potter is wonderfully written and it will be considered a classic of this generation, I am not really a fan but I certainly admire the novels and movies.

A lot of stories are crafted for children but they often carry underlying themes that are actually very mature. Take the Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland for example.
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07.08.2011 - 08:54
Void Eater
Crunkcore Fan

Posts: 2234
From: USA

One time my father rented Twilight, came home, and said, "Hey guys, I got a movie for us". Me and my brother basically said, "Dad, that's a teen-vampire love story", to which my dad replied, "But it had that cool scene with the guy hitting the car on the commercial!"

Gees pa, you're a smart guy and all, but...
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08.08.2011 - 00:25
AnGina--
Dark Phoenix

Posts: 3497
From: Slovenia

Haha, excellent article to which I agree to the last letter. I'm feeling bad for nowadays youth thouh, me myself as a 13 year old girl I was reading of vampires brought to us by Anne Rice and Bram Stoker and guess what, if any of them (yes, even him) would have a glimpse of sparkle, I would probably burn those books and then bury the ashes of it. The popularity of this kind of books (Twilight saga probably being at its prime) doesn't concirn me, but a whole new genre just for that sh*t? Are you fu.cking kidding me?

Also: A must see
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09.08.2011 - 16:54
SymphonyImpaled

Posts: 63
From: USA

Let me, first, just say the article picture is hilarious. The twilight kids are about to get BLADED... rofl

I agree entirely that Twilight is a terrible series, and damaging to our youth, and that the author is a terrible one as well.
But i don't think she had a clue that teens and kids would be so moved and emulate this terrible character base. Which is to say i Do see guys dressing and acting like the Edward and thousands if not millions of girls trying to be like... whatever the fuck her name is.
The fact that the author hasn't killed herself yet, though is enough to say she's either a naive moron or a self righteous cunt.

Lastly, you're right about Granger being a better role model but you could have used better referances. For example Hadrian, seth and Ellis from Books of the Cataclysm, Richard and Kalahn from the Sword of truth Etc.
Overall good article -10- I look forward to some more bashing of terrible society raping trends.
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09.08.2011 - 20:08
dragonfire1603

Posts: 22
From: Switzerland

I agree 100%

I've read the first Twilight book (before it was that popular) because my friends liked it so much, but I was just like "Meh, whatever...". I didn't care at all about it back then, but when it blew up, it became pretty much unbearable. Vampires do not sparkle!



And as you said: Bella is just a totally empty character. She's weak, Edward is everything to her and without him she's nothing, so I don't really get why little girls fall for this. Yeah, two guys love her to death. But why do they even love her? I wouldn't want to be together with such a weak and mindless person

Rowling > Meyer and Hermione > Bella

And I'm being super geeky here but:
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10.08.2011 - 08:51
Lit. Metalhead
Account deleted
As long as we're posting funny pictures related to the article:


AKA My wallpaper.
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10.08.2011 - 14:59
Lokaeda
Account deleted
About the review
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22.08.2011 - 16:02
laurenthermo

Posts: 1
From: USA
I so totally agree! I've never liked Twilight ever since I read the book. Plus, the movie made it worse. Also, the contrast between the two people I greatly admire (Hermione) and hate (Bella) is amazing. Hands down, Hermione is going to win such comparison. Let's just not look into the looks alone. Supernatural romance sucks. I'd rather have a long distance romance.
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30.09.2012 - 03:25
Angry Chair

Posts: 153
From: UK

If people ant to read the books fine let them do so but when they start bringing films out that are constantly advertised and rammed down you're throat its just like; FUCK OFF. If it wasn't for them dam movies I would never have even know of this teenage girl tripe.

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"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
- Denis Diderot
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30.09.2012 - 07:58
Susan
Smeghead

Posts: 6913
From: USA

Written by Greg L. on 02.08.2011 at 05:37

Well, your first mistake was going to Barnes & Noble. They're way over priced! Buy used books online or try and support a local used book store instead of a shitty overpriced book chain.




Don't forget small businesses and your local economy, everyone!! No one really wants to live in Walmartville.
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"A life all mine
Is what I choose
At the end of my days"
--The Gathering "A Life All Mine" from Souvenirs
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01.10.2012 - 07:40
Greg L.

Posts: 437
From: UK

POUND IT BRO
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