Love

Written by Troy Killjoy on 16.01.2012 at 11:26

Written by Valentin B on 16.01.2012 at 11:02
the same you trashed in that review?

wat review ?? Directions please.. *gets curious*

Written by Milena on 16.01.2012 at 15:16
No, I just found it funny that I never even had a serious crush, or a chance to get with somebody, or even considered that. Sure, I liked some guys, but never even talked to them. So that counts as laziness from my side

And I think women have it easier than men when it comes to good looks. Yes, that is a cliche, but I firmly believe that there are no unattractive and attractive women, just women who try and women who do not. I read a local women's magazine - obviously, it's not better than any other women's magazine out there, but it's less gloss and perfection and more things that interest women - and they have a column where they take regular housewives and business women from the street, and give them a day with a hairdresser, make up artist and a stylist. No glamour, no photoshop, just a regular haircut, dye job, some makeup and shit women here don't have time/money for. And they make those women smile. And all these women - young, middle aged, old, too skinny, just right, curvy, overweight, pretty, not particularly pretty - they all turn heads in the end. They all have their inner qualities brought up. Sure, the attractive ones will always be more attractive. But if you say "oh well, I was born unattractive, might as well not ever try to improve my looks" is like saying "oh well, I dropped my cellphone on the floor, I might as well jump on it".

I'm not saying you need to do it, or that a person even needs romance or anything else. But if anything about your looks or your emotional status that is reasonably changeable bothers you even just a tiny bit, get out there and change it, cause no one deserves to be bothered by anything like that ever. And it is a cliche too, but a little confidence goes a long way and a smile is always prettier than a frown. Advice like this coming from a person probably half your age who also has next to zero confidence and always beats herself up comparing herself to other girls might be a bit odd, but we should all really try and work on our lives because, damn, all those people talk about how loving oneself is great, and I want a bit of that too. So I'll work on it. Compliments and obtaining a significant other won't change how you feel about yourself, no one knows that better than me. But you can.

I was in my late 20's when I had my first serious crush, so you could definitely call me a late starter, or developer, I guess. And I've never had a real chance to get with somebody. At one point I thought I did, but that just turned out to be an illusion...

I think women have it much harder than men when it comes to looks. Women are generally judged much more harshly on their looks, and much more emphasis is placed on them by society, than is the case with men.

Well, the way I see it, if even women who are very obviously beautiful like yourself can have no confidence and beat themselves up over their appearance, it shouldn't really be surprising that a woman like me who is what most people would term as "ugly", would have no confidence. It does amaze me that you would have zero confidence, because you really shouldn't at all. You're very pretty and intelligent.

Written by Angelic Storm on 16.01.2012 at 19:06

Written by Milena on 16.01.2012 at 15:16
No, I just found it funny that I never even had a serious crush, or a chance to get with somebody, or even considered that. Sure, I liked some guys, but never even talked to them. So that counts as laziness from my side

And I think women have it easier than men when it comes to good looks. Yes, that is a cliche, but I firmly believe that there are no unattractive and attractive women, just women who try and women who do not. I read a local women's magazine - obviously, it's not better than any other women's magazine out there, but it's less gloss and perfection and more things that interest women - and they have a column where they take regular housewives and business women from the street, and give them a day with a hairdresser, make up artist and a stylist. No glamour, no photoshop, just a regular haircut, dye job, some makeup and shit women here don't have time/money for. And they make those women smile. And all these women - young, middle aged, old, too skinny, just right, curvy, overweight, pretty, not particularly pretty - they all turn heads in the end. They all have their inner qualities brought up. Sure, the attractive ones will always be more attractive. But if you say "oh well, I was born unattractive, might as well not ever try to improve my looks" is like saying "oh well, I dropped my cellphone on the floor, I might as well jump on it".

I'm not saying you need to do it, or that a person even needs romance or anything else. But if anything about your looks or your emotional status that is reasonably changeable bothers you even just a tiny bit, get out there and change it, cause no one deserves to be bothered by anything like that ever. And it is a cliche too, but a little confidence goes a long way and a smile is always prettier than a frown. Advice like this coming from a person probably half your age who also has next to zero confidence and always beats herself up comparing herself to other girls might be a bit odd, but we should all really try and work on our lives because, damn, all those people talk about how loving oneself is great, and I want a bit of that too. So I'll work on it. Compliments and obtaining a significant other won't change how you feel about yourself, no one knows that better than me. But you can.

I was in my late 20's when I had my first serious crush, so you could definitely call me a late starter, or developer, I guess. And I've never had a real chance to get with somebody. At one point I thought I did, but that just turned out to be an illusion...

I think women have it much harder than men when it comes to looks. Women are generally judged much more harshly on their looks, and much more emphasis is placed on them by society, than is the case with men.

Well, the way I see it, if even women who are very obviously beautiful like yourself can have no confidence and beat themselves up over their appearance, it shouldn't really be surprising that a woman like me who is what most people would term as "ugly", would have no confidence. It does amaze me that you would have zero confidence, because you really shouldn't at all. You're very pretty and intelligent.

Actually, self confidence mostly of times has nothing to do with appearence... I know many women that are much more ugllier than me (and I am completly sure they beat anyone in this site, some of then have no even teeth on their mouths) and they can get a lot of men. I trully do not know how they do this.
About appearence, well, I must say that I look much more better in my profile pictures than in the real life. I believe I scare people somehow, but is not like I care for it, since I never had a real crush and I don't like to be touched.

Written by 3rdWorld on 16.01.2012 at 15:35
wat review ?? Directions please.. *gets curious*

http://metalstorm.net/pub/review.php?review_id=10178

Written by Angelic Storm on 16.01.2012 at 12:47
...

In my opinion you have a defeatist attitude. I mean it's your opinion and set of beliefs but I know when I sat around fantasizing about possibilities that never worked out in reality, I decided to make those things happen myself. Life is willing to do you some favors if you're willing to meet it halfway.

Written by [user id=115335] on 16.01.2012 at 23:40
Finally plucked up the courage to tell her..... I now feel like shit... i cant believe i made a girl cry...

At the end of the day you did the right thing. And she'll probably be more thankful that you did it earlier in the "relationship" as opposed to making her waste weeks or months or years before you finally summoned the courage.

So good job.

Written by Yavanna on 16.01.2012 at 20:46

Actually, self confidence mostly of times has nothing to do with appearence... I know many women that are much more ugllier than me (and I am completly sure they beat anyone in this site, some of then have no even teeth on their mouths) and they can get a lot of men. I trully do not know how they do this.
About appearence, well, I must say that I look much more better in my profile pictures than in the real life. I believe I scare people somehow, but is not like I care for it, since I never had a real crush and I don't like to be touched.

You say it as if you were thinking you were ugly yourself. You look great. Looking at yer photo, I remembered Kate Hudson for some reason. Plus your hair is awesome. I believe that's not a photoshop effect.
My bros shared a flat once with some American chicks, who were really huge and unattractive and who had awfully high self-esteem. They were promiscuous and represented all your Jersey Shore nightmares come true. They'd lie on the beach and make horny comments bout male passers-by. That's a sad case because not only is there any outer beauty, there ain't any particular inner beauty either.

Written by Angelic Storm on 16.01.2012 at 12:47

Unless you're a member of a dating agency/site, or you're persuing someone you've known for a while, then you're not actively persuing a relationship. And for most people, it "just happens". And many people say, don't look for love, love will find you. But who is right?

I was told several times "Don't look for love. It will find you. As soon as you start looking for it yourself, you lose all your chances. Be as passive as possible. Make yourself invisible and the best way to attract people is by avoiding them."
I'd say it's quite hypocritical because people who say such things usually have no problems getting laid... indeed people just fall for them.

A friend of mine spoke of an acquaintance. This was a relatively unattractive bloke. Nevertheless, he always got laid because he just went up to random chicks in the clubs and said "Let's fuck." My friend described one dialogue he had heard which was in the vein of. "Let's fuck." "WTF? Aren't you even offering to buy me a drink?!" "What drink, you stupid bitch? I don't have any money to buy you any drinks!" The girl seemingly rejected him but later approached him and they left together. Chicks love self confidence. You may have the looks and the manners but it's actually all irrelevant.

That's how the youth of nowadays spends their days...

Written by Troy Killjoy on 16.01.2012 at 23:42
In my opinion you have a defeatist attitude. I mean it's your opinion and set of beliefs but I know when I sat around fantasizing about possibilities that never worked out in reality, I decided to make those things happen myself. Life is willing to do you some favors if you're willing to meet it halfway.

It's not really an opinion, or a set of beliefs on my part. You are perfectly entitled to think I have a defeatist attitude, but if you actually knew me personally, I'd imagine you'd change that view. Everyone is not the same, and neither is there a one-size-fits-all guide/solution for everyone looking for love. If it were that simple, everyone who wanted to be loved would be. But life unfortunately isn't like that, and nor is it that simple.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 16.01.2012 at 23:44
At the end of the day you did the right thing. And she'll probably be more thankful that you did it earlier in the "relationship" as opposed to making her waste weeks or months or years before you finally summoned the courage.

So good job.

I can only agree wholeheartedly with Troy here. As someone who was strung along for months by a guy who didn't want to tell me he didn't really have feelings for me. I'm not saying I wouldn't have still been upset had he told me the truth much sooner, but I wouldn't have been as upset, and I would have had more respect for him for just telling me straight and not playing with my feelings for that length of time. She of course will be upset now, but believe me, it would have been much worse for her if you had delayed telling her your true feelings. You definitely did the right thing.

Written by Ernis on 16.01.2012 at 23:50
I was told several times "Don't look for love. It will find you. As soon as you start looking for it yourself, you lose all your chances. Be as passive as possible. Make yourself invisible and the best way to attract people is by avoiding them."
I'd say it's quite hypocritical because people who say such things usually have no problems getting laid... indeed people just fall for them.

A friend of mine spoke of an acquaintance. This was a relatively unattractive bloke. Nevertheless, he always got laid because he just went up to random chicks in the clubs and said "Let's fuck." My friend described one dialogue he had heard which was in the vein of. "Let's fuck." "WTF? Aren't you even offering to buy me a drink?!" "What drink, you stupid bitch? I don't have any money to buy you any drinks!" The girl seemingly rejected him but later approached him and they left together. Chicks love self confidence. You may have the looks and the manners but it's actually all irrelevant.

That's how the youth of nowadays spends their days...

Yes. I tend to find it very difficult to take relationship advice from people who are clearly not in my situation, and for whom finding a partner would not be very difficult. I have been told many times "don't look for love, it will find you", but I believe this only really works for people who are attractive, or at the very least, not physically horrible.

Girls do love self-confidence, and I'd say at least generally, that plays a far more important role for a man in regards to attracting women than physical attractiveness. Whereas men generally go for physical attractiveness first before anything else. I also think it's different if you're just looking for sex, or looking for a relationship. Sex outwith a loving relationship is something that has never interested in me in the slightest.

The best thing you can do for yourself is get out of the house and start doing things you love. Do you like to play games? Music? Sports? Volunteering? If you're out doing an activity that makes you happy, and it's one that someone else is enjoying too, real attraction has a chance. Beautiful women may have an easy time attracting every Tom, Dick and Harry, but they can easily end up with a poor match, and never find true love.

Written by Eve ofApocalypse on 17.01.2012 at 02:39

The best thing you can do for yourself is get out of the house and start doing things you love. Do you like to play games? Music? Sports? Volunteering? If you're out doing an activity that makes you happy, and it's one that someone else is enjoying too, real attraction has a chance. Beautiful women may have an easy time attracting every Tom, Dick and Harry, but they can easily end up with a poor match, and never find true love.

Only video games... Music is very much a passion, but I only ever play it on my own. Volunteering is something I would like to do if I could overcome my social anxiety...

Well, the more physically attractive you are, there is more opportunities to pick and choose who you want to be with, as a majority of people will be attracted to you. If you are what most would consider to be physically unattractive, then far less people will find you attractive, so your chances of finding true love are reduced drastically. I do understand what you're saying, although I've always said that outer beauty on it's own isn't worth very much. Sure, it'll make lots of guys be interested in you, but if you're not a very nice person, then the looks alone won't be enough to make most guys stick around, unless they are incredibly shallow.

Guess there's just too much intangibles...
I know I definitely fall in the camp of "when I look really hard, I get none. When my mindset is giveup and complete surrender, something comes along". Been like that for 4 and a half years now since I started dating...

Written by Ag Fox on 17.01.2012 at 10:19

Guess there's just too much intangibles...
I know I definitely fall in the camp of "when I look really hard, I get none. When my mindset is giveup and complete surrender, something comes along". Been like that for 4 and a half years now since I started dating...

So you are one who believes "don't look for love, it will find you"?

Sort of. once I stop looking, it finds me. Excluding my first girl friend which only lasted for two months, the others came to me.

Written by Ag Fox on 17.01.2012 at 10:35

Sort of. once I stop looking, it finds me. Excluding my first girl friend which only lasted for two months, the others came to me.

I do think for most people, that method will work sooner or later. For a minority of people though, it won't.

I went all barbarian style when meet someone interesting, possibly someone i like....hey if she like you at your worst ,she''ll like you at your best...apart from that was "burned" once ...and since than i dont let that happens again so i act like a scumbag...fuck yeah "If you dont want to get your heart broken,pretend you dont have one..."

I went all barbarian style when meet someone interesting, possibly someone i like....hey if she like you at your worst ,she''ll like you at your best...apart from that was burned once ...and since than i dont let that happens again so i act like a scumbag...fuck yeah "If you dont want to get your heart broken,pretend you dont have one..."

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 17.01.2012 at 14:32

"If you dont want to get your heart broken,pretend you dont have one..."

You made the quote or from who ?

Written by User 6041 on 17.01.2012 at 16:08

Written by ANGEL REAPER on 17.01.2012 at 14:32

"If you dont want to get your heart broken,pretend you dont have one..."

You made the quote or from who ?

heard it somewhere ..dont know where...

Written by Ag Fox on 17.01.2012 at 10:19
Been like that for 4 and a half years now since I started dating...

And those ones who find you are out looking for you.

It takes at least one person to look for you to be found. If you don't look then you best hope someone's looking for you, otherwise you're going to be alone. Obviously there are exceptions; I'm the biggest advocate of not generalizing and I was hoping some of my previous comments would be interpreted accordingly rather than appearing to deal in absolutes like a sith, but eh. People will read what they want at the end of the day.

@Troy
you make it sound like people are hunting me down >.>

well... obviously I didn't mean I have to wait there like a sitting duck. Usually it's just people that I interact with normally. And it's when I am really being myself, not trying to overdo things to impress anyone, then I realise the other person is interested in me.

so I guess it's just being myself that does the trick

Written by Troy Killjoy on 17.01.2012 at 17:24
I'm the biggest advocate of not generalizing and I was hoping some of my previous comments would be interpreted accordingly rather than appearing to deal in absolutes like a sith, but eh. People will read what they want at the end of the day.

You can only read into a comment what's presented. I didn't read it as a generalising comment because I wanted to see it as one, but because that's what it genuinely looked like to me. If you weren't generalising, then I can only apologise, but how was anyone other than yourself supposed to know you weren't generalising when you only presented the one point of view consistently?

Written by Angelic Storm on 17.01.2012 at 19:10
You can only read into a comment what's presented. I didn't read it as a generalising comment because I wanted to see it as one, but because that's what it genuinely looked like to me. If you weren't generalising, then I can only apologise, but how was anyone other than yourself supposed to know you weren't generalising when you only presented the one point of view consistently?

Because I get tired of constantly having to type an explanation for people.

If I say "everyone is stupid", obviously that's a generalization. Because it's not a fact that everyone is stupid.

I think I'm growing tired of forums anyway.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 17.01.2012 at 19:12
Because I get tired of constantly having to type an explanation for people.

If I say "everyone is stupid", obviously that's a generalization. Because it's not a fact that everyone is stupid.

I think I'm growing tired of forums anyway.

That is understandable, but if you don't provide an explanation, then it shouldn't be surprising, and indeed should be expected, that many people will just take what you say at face value. You only presented one point of view consistently when talking about this, so while I may have been wrong to think you were generalising, I certainly can't be blamed for thinking that.

I think that all the time.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 29.11.2011 at 20:10

No, there are two ex-girlfriends. I'll call them A and Z. I'll be moving back to be with A.
I met A when I was 15 and we had that "puppy love" thing from the start. Inseparable, head-over-heels, etc. Her best friend was Z. And we hated each other (kind of a jealousy thing, who gets to spend more time with A).
Then my sister ran into some drug trouble out West, so my mom moved us from Ontario to Alberta to help her. That meant me and A would be long-distance, but we committed to it. I promised I'd come back.

A year later my dad (who coincidentally lived in Alberta) said he had a job opportunity in New Brunswick, which is closer to Ontario than Alberta so I decided I'd move with him and live with him for the first time in my life (long story short, child of divorce who only visited my father once up until this move). I told A, she was stoked.
A year later he says he's going back to Alberta, so I used all the money I saved up over the years to get myself on a train and get back to A in Ontario, by living with one of my mom's old friends who had a room for rent. So I started working at the book store to make ends meet, but when we started hanging out I realized things were different. She broke up with me a few weeks later. I could tell she had already moved on at some point when I was gone, because she didn't believe my promise that I'd come back. But I did, and then ya... she dumped me.

So I threw myself into your typical pit of despair, and lo and behold Z decides to message me on Facebook and tell me she "dumped" A because... well, because of a few things, and started talking to me about A and getting over her. So we start hanging out, and we go to school together, and that eventually leads to me kind of falling for her. Not nearly the same way as it was with A, but still heavy stuff I guess.

Then I start fucking up by breaking things off with Z because I feel guilty moving on from A and there's all kinds of that crap going on, and a lot of getting back together with A and Z at different times and them fighting over me and it got pretty ugly. So after graduation I get back with A after almost 6 months without seeing her, and then *I* break up with her. First time for that. And I chose to be with Z. But it didn't work because she had to go to university. So I told her she should break it off, but she refused.

So I break it off. Then she started sleeping with this guy who lived two floors above me in the same apartment (I moved out after a year living with my mom's friend). She knew him from a bunch of parties she went to and the pizza place I took her to sometimes. She cut me out completely, blocking me on every site and never talking to me again. A was with someone else too, and that was that.

About 6 months later the stress of those relationships as well as an incredibly stressful new job led to... a few suicide attempts. I don't really wanna go into detail but I was in the hospital for a few weeks, got out, moved back to Alberta to be with family, and now I'm healthy and stable and ready to go back. Then A decides to tell me she left her boyfriend, she knows what she wants and she was stupid for denying it, and asked me to move in with her. Hollywood ending I hope.

Girl A/Z must be zooey deschanel or Troy's future ex-wife very lucky.

Written by Eve ofApocalypse on 17.01.2012 at 02:39

The best thing you can do for yourself is get out of the house and start doing things you love.

I actually enjoy slaughtering... Perhaps I should get around slaughtering people?

Written by Troy Killjoy on 29.11.2011 at 20:10

No, there are two ex-girlfriends. I'll call them A and Z. I'll be moving back to be with A.

I met A when I was 15 and we had that "puppy love" thing from the start. Inseparable, head-over-heels, etc. Her best friend was Z. And we hated each other (kind of a jealousy thing, who gets to spend more time with A).

Then my sister ran into some drug trouble out West, so my mom moved us from Ontario to Alberta to help her. That meant me and A would be long-distance, but we committed to it. I promised I'd come back.

A year later my dad (who coincidentally lived in Alberta) said he had a job opportunity in New Brunswick, which is closer to Ontario than Alberta so I decided I'd move with him and live with him for the first time in my life (long story short, child of divorce who only visited my father once up until this move). I told A, she was stoked.

A year later he says he's going back to Alberta, so I used all the money I saved up over the years to get myself on a train and get back to A in Ontario, by living with one of my mom's old friends who had a room for rent. So I started working at the book store to make ends meet, but when we started hanging out I realized things were different. She broke up with me a few weeks later. I could tell she had already moved on at some point when I was gone, because she didn't believe my promise that I'd come back. But I did, and then ya... she dumped me.

So I threw myself into your typical pit of despair, and lo and behold Z decides to message me on Facebook and tell me she "dumped" A because... well, because of a few things, and started talking to me about A and getting over her. So we start hanging out, and we go to school together, and that eventually leads to me kind of falling for her. Not nearly the same way as it was with A, but still heavy stuff I guess.

Then I start fucking up by breaking things off with Z because I feel guilty moving on from A and there's all kinds of that crap going on, and a lot of getting back together with A and Z at different times and them fighting over me and it got pretty ugly. So after graduation I get back with A after almost 6 months without seeing her, and then *I* break up with her. First time for that. And I chose to be with Z. But it didn't work because she had to go to university. So I told her she should break it off, but she refused.

So I break it off. Then she started sleeping with this guy who lived two floors above me in the same apartment (I moved out after a year living with my mom's friend). She knew him from a bunch of parties she went to and the pizza place I took her to sometimes. She cut me out completely, blocking me on every site and never talking to me again. A was with someone else too, and that was that.

About 6 months later the stress of those relationships as well as an incredibly stressful new job led to... a few suicide attempts. I don't really wanna go into detail but I was in the hospital for a few weeks, got out, moved back to Alberta to be with family, and now I'm healthy and stable and ready to go back. Then A decides to tell me she left her boyfriend, she knows what she wants and she was stupid for denying it, and asked me to move in with her. Hollywood ending I hope.

After seeing this quoted above me, I had to go back and read this for myself. You could have titled this "From A to Z and Back Again" because thats what it is. In my opinion, you should stary looking for letters B to Y because A appears to have her head screwed on the wrong way and Z has clearly moved on. If you're going back to A again you got to be sure she knows what she's talking about and isn't just speaking to you based on the emotion she's feeling this week (may change next week). Good luck mate and hope things work out well for you in the end.

Written by Angelic Storm on 17.01.2012 at 19:20

I think that all the time.

Hey AS, how have you been? Long time. I see you have a new avatar etc.

Written by Himann on 19.01.2012 at 16:56
Hey AS, how have you been? Long time. I see you have a new avatar etc.

Hey Himann. Nice to see you again! The past few months have been immensely difficult and stressful, even more than usual, so not great I'm afraid...

The new av was only meant to be for xmas, but I haven't changed it back yet.

How are you? Did you have a nice christmas and new year? Haven't seen you around here for awhile. And thank you for asking me how I am.

Written by Himann on 19.01.2012 at 16:50
After seeing this quoted above me, I had to go back and read this for myself. You could have titled this "From A to Z and Back Again" because thats what it is. In my opinion, you should stary looking for letters B to Y because A appears to have her head screwed on the wrong way and Z has clearly moved on. If you're going back to A again you got to be sure she knows what she's talking about and isn't just speaking to you based on the emotion she's feeling this week (may change next week). Good luck mate and hope things work out well for you in the end.

Definitely wise words, but the story has the potential for a happy ending with A and I'm going to take that risk. If it doesn't work... well, maybe looking at the rest of the alphabet wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 19.01.2012 at 21:13

Definitely wise words, but the story has the potential for a happy ending with A and I'm going to take that risk. If it doesn't work... well, maybe looking at the rest of the alphabet wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I'd post some applause gif from tumblr, but since I can't follow with a comment, this will do
*is happy and goes dancing off*