Poetry
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Posts: 1014
Visited by: 386 users
Original post
Posted by Soliloquy, 17.05.2006 - 03:24
anyways, you guys know the rules. post somethig you wrote, or a friend of yours wrote. or if you dont want to post some poem, you can always read others work and comment on that. unlike the last poetry thread, lets try to comment on every poem we get in.
(if you want me to add or remove something, just PM me, and i'll edit it right away.)
ANGEL REAPER |
02.08.2013 - 14:28 Written by Bad English on 02.08.2013 at 14:22 thanks man.... i dont think that is a good idea.... next time it might not turn into poems
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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IronAngel |
04.08.2013 - 18:43 Written by Sophist on 20.06.2013 at 20:17 That's actually a good one. Poetry isn't about stuffing line after line with dramatic phrases and metaphors. It's about finding that perfect expression to convey whatever it is it conveys, and making the most out of every word you use. That second line is evocative and clever. (Also: I hate poetry that rhymes, unless it follows some historical metre for a purpose.)
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Lit. Account deleted |
04.08.2013 - 19:07 Lit.
Account deleted
No Respect for Suicides I can't believe the progress that you made Your body was a temple Now it's a grave What was once so perfect is now So gone I can't believe you would do that to everyone Pity your sense of self-loss Now an ode to tragedy and woe Made by, not you, but others And now whatever tragedies you had Will be all but forgotten and relinquished To be replaced with positive aspects Of what was once your life Now, dream of the end Dream on Dream of God Dream of Hell When your dreams become nightmares A lack of comfort awaits your solace There are no plans on waking you up No one comes to dig you out of your coffin Or catch your ashes in the wind Or create plans on a making a bargain A soul for a soul No power beyond the grave No forgiveness and no forgetting No more control of your life No more learning to live No more living to learn No more dying to live No more crying wolf No respect for suicides No, none at all
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Sophist |
04.08.2013 - 22:11 Written by IronAngel on 04.08.2013 at 18:43 I'm trying to achieve that but it doesn't always work out I find it extremely hard at times to find the right word or expression, but I guess practice makes perfect, or at least better.
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ANGEL REAPER |
04.08.2013 - 23:27 Written by Sophist on 04.08.2013 at 22:11 come on what the hell is hard in writing 9 words in total
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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Sophist |
04.08.2013 - 23:31
So that when you read them it blows you away, like a single verse from Borges that leaves you completely stunned.
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IronAngel |
04.08.2013 - 23:46
What is hard in writing a hundred pages in total? Writing something is easy. Writing the right things is hard. One of the first things you'll learn in any writing class is that less is more, that your text is good enough not when there's nothing left to add, but when there's nothing left to take away. You must "kill all your darlings". There's always that gray area of personal taste, granted, but it's a good rule of thumb. I don't mean to trash the other work in these last few pages, but the haiku I quoted was by far the most interesting piece of writing, showed the most original realization and had the greatest impact on me out of the stuff I read. It wasn't a recycled platitude. It wasn't overly dramatic, and the imagery was connected to the mood it was trying to convey. Chirps are louder than cars and thoughts. How fucking good is that?
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ANGEL REAPER |
04.08.2013 - 23:59 Written by Sophist on 04.08.2013 at 23:31 man nothing blows me away expecially words ... no ..not these days
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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ANGEL REAPER |
05.08.2013 - 00:00 Written by IronAngel on 04.08.2013 at 23:46 relax i was just joking with my friend ...
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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Sophist |
05.08.2013 - 00:59
Joke inspired or not he gave good advice Thanks Iron Angel
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Cynic Metalhead Paisa Vich Nasha |
05.08.2013 - 10:12 Written by ANGEL REAPER on 04.08.2013 at 23:27 I guess thinking and putting up every word in structure. I am with Sophist here. It's pretty hard sometimes to put up everything in structure and make it conveyable.
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Fritillaria Account deleted |
05.08.2013 - 14:53 Fritillaria
Account deleted Written by Guest on 04.08.2013 at 19:07 hey this is so appealing to put some music on it ,thumbs up
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ANGEL REAPER |
05.08.2013 - 22:48 Written by Cynic Metalhead on 05.08.2013 at 10:12 nope ..still not convinced
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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Lit. Account deleted |
06.08.2013 - 05:07 Lit.
Account deleted Written by ANGEL REAPER on 05.08.2013 at 22:48 ...And you call yourself a poet.
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ANGEL REAPER |
06.08.2013 - 15:09 Written by Guest on 06.08.2013 at 05:07 never called myself that way ...check my posts if you dont believe me ... poets are lame ,i use term "tamer of thoughts and words" seriously never called myself a poet nor do i read any poetry at all
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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MechanisT Account deleted |
06.08.2013 - 21:20 MechanisT
Account deleted Written by Guest on 04.08.2013 at 19:07 This's... quite nice man. Not my place to ask, but is this out of a personal experience or something?
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Lit. Account deleted |
06.08.2013 - 22:18 Lit.
Account deleted Written by Guest on 06.08.2013 at 21:20 Sort of. My cousin Kara died of an overdose of antidepressants a couple of years ago, but I don't think it was ever figured out if it was suicide or not. It stems from personal belief, however: Suicide is utterly disrespectful to yourself and everyone you love.
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
10.08.2013 - 18:38
The River The river, where I am sailing, is poison whit thoughts and evil imaginations who makes you dream in sleep, I lost course and don't care how cold, deep and dark is water I don't care if I drown or see a shore again I just roar my both far away north from here and search for the place, where evil men no live where mortals will leave me alone where nobody ask me to change The river, soon it will freeze destroy my wooden both I dont know if nature take me now or make me freeze longer thin ice , can it hold me? or let me drow, 'cause its not my fault I am here because I never asked to be born and i never will ask for longer lifetime I will vanish into wild river just like we all will do one day since we all roar the in the same river And now I remember How I missed my life line and what I left behind, let to drown I remember places where I have stop by I remember faces whit what I have talked once But its too late now , too late to go back up to stream, back to lost life I can only try to slow down and take a piss at this damn river what we call life
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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ANGEL REAPER |
12.08.2013 - 00:15
Im fucking sick of living in village in middle of nowhere ... vacant life- depression rises empty streets and dead memories screaming winds and raven sings into the vacuum of black sins one more grave to dig one less to see alcohol will wash away sad dreams emptiness is one who victims seek dumb kids under elders skin beautiful destruction- flowers of decay make yourself numb it eases pain finished second in race against death slowed down by lights and artificial rain walking down the wretched fields when full moon rises upon dreams your hollow heart will know when time come when cold wind blows-when you are alone
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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Lit. Account deleted |
17.08.2013 - 02:04 Lit.
Account deleted
I don't know what to call this one, but it's based off a Batman villain I'm a huge fan of. Jane Doe Silences her lips until she'll only utter another voice Blinds her eyes so she can see out new ones Grins with teeth not her own Tears her hair until the scalp bleeds and regrows Rips the skins and wears it again In the mirror she stares and glares empty Driving down the feelings until devoid Until she is no longer what she once was But is all she'll ever be again
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
24.08.2013 - 15:10
As 10 000 stars fades away Above the crimson skies And goblins are no more rise Are there any hopes left? Wideners gathering Under ancient moon Midgets are marching Trough unknown gates of forgotten pagan lands Questions about time Can we break the time line? Can we live whit out love? And disturbances of germs? Depressed melancholy Under black mark Under 1000 comets What were hidden from us Now mythological creatures are gathering Marching in rebellion Against human domination and lies Is this end or new beginning?
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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ANGEL REAPER |
24.08.2013 - 21:03 Written by Bad English on 24.08.2013 at 15:10 it somehow reminds me of Darkthrone man ...dont know why though.
---- "Cross is only an iron,hope is just an illusion,freedom is nothing but a name..." "Build your walls of the dead stone...Build your roofs of a dead wood..Build your dreams of a dead thoughts"
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
24.08.2013 - 23:36 Written by ANGEL REAPER on 24.08.2013 at 21:03 LOL realy, why
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Sophist |
25.08.2013 - 19:45
If I'm silent with dreaming eyes Don't break the silence Human words destroy this delicate state Where whatever in my cup becomes sweet Nectar and everything is witnessed again for the first time. If I fall asleep don't wake me Even if I don't dream let me rest But never let me chase sleep with a bottle or pill Let Hypnos visit me when he wishes, just like Thanatos will. If I die cremate me and scatter the ashes Atop the hill I where never witnessed the sun being born If not bury me far away from the graveyards Don't mark the grave, don't put a tombstone Whatever is put there won't be my remains Because you'll take them with you.
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
31.08.2013 - 02:43
Never Die, Forever Damned Into dreams, where I overdose And see some overact acts And emotions makes me lost will to live And coffin never shuts Grave is full whit rain water And I wander around silently Feels like I am sleepwalking Moonlight shadows and endless nights 'cause I know I am between 2 parallels I will never die, I am forever damned Just like moon what cannot kiss the sun Just like wind what cannot blow through stone wall Just like water what cannot drawn Just like you, what cannot save me I will never die, forever damned Never die, forever damned Never die, forever damned That's what I am
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
01.09.2013 - 03:39 Written by Bad English on 31.08.2013 at 02:43 love = live I change error to live , thats what I ment origialy
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Redn1ght Captain Obvious Posts: 64 |
04.09.2013 - 23:09
I have given this some kind of nickname but I don't know if there are songs by that name so yeah. This is my first lyrics actually written and I did it just today! Not too long ago either. Also, does this sound original to you? What should I improve on? (Note: I haven't taken creative writing classes at all.) The song is in Italics. What band would write these kinds of lyrics? What genre does this match? And blame ANGEL REAPER if he send me to post to wrong thread. I went for some sort of Horrror/Conspiracy themed thing. Thrown into prison While trying to fight Against the forces he discovered Hidden in the labyrinth of grim town Plotting the triumpanth reveal Of secrets in the jungle of buildings Insanity growing hatred unleashed Growing mad at powers opposing him! Found and chained blamed to be mad Crazy with power the governing forces Stole his freedom Thrown into halls of forgotten To be lost from the memory of mankind Insanity growing hatred unleashed Screaming mad at chains holding him! Can't find a way out The beast is at it again! The beast it at it again! Insanity growing hatred unleashed Screaming mad at chains holding him! Can't find a way out The beast is at it again! The beast is at it again!
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
07.09.2013 - 03:27
I am a passenger in foreigner town Where they speak in foreigner tong I witness how empire falls Before new kingdom rise Chaos and frustration Unites those who survive And eats each other flesh Till???.. There no more women left to look at There no more men left to fight whit There no more children left to play whit There no more nukes left to launch on another country There no more hopes left to but wake up From this nightmare Where we are live in
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Bad English Tage Westerlund |
09.09.2013 - 22:00
I made my choise even I need to die blow my brains, cut my veins I can make a stand in name of justice what never will be wright never bring out old truth never will make others understand old blame (I) always will be alive Because in the end its my fault 'cause I blow my brains, cut my veins Its my fault 'cause I did not die, I stayed alive I made my choice, show no mercy show no fear in eyes of dead Kill the bastards, or die trying Kill myself and let bastards live I made my choice, and time is running out eddit: Since there is no wind, you will roar like a slave in this ship of fools I will stay in the windless sea 'because places, spaces and time doesnt existit for me But you, you will roar like a slave because there are no stars to guid no dryland to reach in this sea, since you use map made by fools And its made by gods some will not fear to find a destiny rest will be swallowed by Cyclops But what does it means If you cant read a map made by wise men? EDDIT2: In that cold autumn night was the day when you left in dark cold water, swum to other land and unknown swallowed you, deeper down, deeper down in front of my eyes Moon, the stars was so bright But you decide danc in darkest spot I still remember your last quote and I whispered silently There will be no more love after you Till I am gone
---- I stand whit Ukraine and Israel. They have right to defend own citizens. Stormtroopers of Death - ''Speak English or Die'' apos;' [image] I better die, because I never will learn speek english, so I choose dieing
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Lit. Account deleted |
15.09.2013 - 20:29 Lit.
Account deleted
I don't even know what the hell to call this. Just something I've been working on impulse with the last couple of months. It's a big one! Total, Total Holocaust (Life after Years without War and Peace) Many, many years ago A land once loved was lost to complete and absolute devastation The God I believed in, Continue to believe in, Never lost my faith in? The one that guides my hand and the arrow that flieth by day The light that shy away the terrors of night Brought down heaven's angry wrath and turned Earth to hell And back again No, not hell Hell could never be so cold and blind So impartial to judgment Perhaps Purgatory Where black and white become gray Where good and evil are mere opinions He beckons me, I call thy name with helpless hope I scream to the sky "My Father!" No answer I beg my blackened soul be purged mine own vessel by the light of lights No answer As I weep and torment myself There's never an answer He only comes with the burning epiphanies The drugs that rush through my veins like poison that is afraid to kill But not afraid to consume thee Alone I thought, Oh woe is me as I weep, sob and curl against The unholy forces of this barren land Scared and forsaken I die alone Forgotten Only another skull bleached by the sun My hands claw at my eyes and beg the tears to flee Footsteps, I silently beg the creature to be swift and painless in his feasting Fear, As whatever intends to do as thou wilt with me looms over adjacent Faith A hand is held out? Such was then a dark and bleak and hopeless time in mine own history One I care not telling Consider thyself lucky My friends holds my hands and theirs And watch my back as we skip merrily through this desolate wasteland Like innocent school girls with nary a care to behold in this ruthless time and waste Hell's deranged and disturbed little brother Where skeletons of man, machine, building and tree haunt like a cursed graveyard Where the mirages want blood for blood, eyes for eyes and teeth for teeth Where the sands call our names and take pity of thee and thine madness They seek to bury our war torn bodies when they are given the chance Do not give them that chance! The screams, oh glorious and chilling screams, that are carried by the winds Animals far beyond their evolutionary capabilities fight and die For pack, for food, for thrill Screams from me, my friends "Fight! Fight! Stand and Fight!" "I slay thee, heathen!" "Die, motherfucker!" For those you do not kill, get back up and kill A scream to the east where the sun sets on this dreadful and dreary day A city, a fortress and stronghold that lights hope in the cruel sands Intentionally, but for no irony, named Dis That meets us after a long walk and an hour of stiff muscles Frantic muttering, cursing and screaming greet us to insult us at the gates A man who sacrificed his very sanity for damning lucidity He calls his master to smite us, calls him to invite us to the deepest circles "Pape Satan, Pape Satan, Aleppe!" Madness, nonsense! Fear becomes me that I fear to show outside but not within "Down! Be silent, thou cursed wolf! Consume thyself in thine own rage!" I hear my friend retaliate like a scorned animal, bearing her teeth Bravest and boldest of my girlfriends, my loves She fights with the ferocity of a cornered animal, to them in hate and with me in love Enter the gates, misfortune awaits Nearly we who were attacked and assaulted by pirates, thieves and mercenaries The city's respected royal and loyal guard "Stand down!" My other friend pleads, always so quick to talk and ever the kind-hearted "What anger comes of thee that you must be so quick to strike like an angry serpent? Do you think us rapists and pillagers of little taste and modesty? Do you think we have any bounty to gain from this city? We are only led here by an wail of distress, so we beg you and appeal to your honor, Let us pass." So beautiful with words that is paramount to her soul and body that the pirates Stand aside and treat us as the ladies we are We do not hate, blame or condemn them They are but concerned guardians to this unlucky city Gentlefolk at arms and worthy of respect Lead us to the wail The bodies lined up as warnings to a grim fate Malevolent terror from beyond the gate Dishonorably died, skinned alive, crucified Left to rot in the sun and it's hate No pity for cowards Traitors Heretics Us We are not of any beliefs or thought But only those who follow the influence of The Good Samaritan Like a giant woken from its slumber A mighty storm of sand, dire and fearsome A hurricane of hate looms over the adjacent hills That tears through skin like paper, to strip the flesh and assault the wounds The animals they flee for their lives We follow shortly No shelter from this murder Mother Nature approaches, her fury livid and hate unrestricting She has come to take back her lands? Of all the terror and the wind tunnel of sound and fury outside I clutch against her, a smarter friend of who brains is a preferable alternative And brawn is strictly a necessity to overcome and adverse these wretched coils Sleep draws forth unto me as I lie against the elements And my dreams are plagued by insipid nightmares of heinous carnage Wrought upon my pure soul and torn like skin through the storm Sinful creatures crawl up from the dirt, lusting after my throat to tear My limbs to disembowel and my eyes to lick like a sugarcube I run, I cower, I scream, I beg, I plead, I cry, I fear I may be done O, wicked fates what hast I become to thee? A cruel toy for the dogs of war to chew? For the hounds of hell to bear their teeth into? What vehement vex of vile emotion and agony become me? I will put my pain My sorrow And all of my hate into their souls I grab life by the throat and crush, I break their necks like dry twigs underfoot I tear at fate's throat with my teeth, now the bitch I was once afraid of Now longer human enough to feel and fear I am now unholy, impure, worthless spawn of accursed darkness Fear? comes back, sweat and breath hard from my mouth I feel alone, my eyes shut to deny confirmation A hand is held out? And another? and another? and another? Until all my friends lift me to rise from the cold dirt My worst fear is recognized but forgotten Alone in my world I may be, but in this world I am with friends like these? Never truly alone?
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