Written by Thrashette on 08.04.2012 at 04:11

On the topic of shyness in love, I remember reading somewhere that it's generally just men who are way less successful in love due to shyness, mostly because they're expected to make the first move. It said that women on the other hand don't get hindered in love as much by shyness, since men will often be willing to approach them first.

Yep, that's true... altho I think that shyness isn't necessary for a guy to be ignored... I don't have a clue what makes a man attractive to a woman... maybe money (for a lot of women, especially in East Europe, it's got to be money...), maybe position or hell knows what... I think I know what people say that supposedly is appreciated by women but my experience has shown that women don't actually give a shit about those things that they probably long for...

Example... Although I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, I still do sports and I'm in a somewhat better shape than an average bloke, I don't find it difficult starting conversations with other people, in fact, I adore having interesting conversations, especially with pretty and intelligent women. I'm also rather courteous (I could do better but I think I'm above average), in fact, when it comes to pretty women, I even enjoy being polite and nice. When it comes to sexual relationships, my aim is to make the lady enjoy her time with me. Oh, and I forgot... I'm not completely helpless at household chores...

Now if I propose a pretty girl to meet and have a dinner and a glass of wine together (dinner... cooked by me), and she tells me "Oh, I'm not in the mood today/Oh, I have to study/Oh, I'm going to a party with the girls" Then that tells everything. To that particular girl, I gave three or four chances to get the hint. If she doesn't get it, I'm moving on. Should I start actively pursuing her or something? Because I know that some women like to do that. They say "NO" to everything to test the patience of the guy and "raise their price."
Or maybe I should've told "Ok, want to fuck? Shall we go to your place or mine?" Because a friend of mine knows a dude who always gets laid because he just walks up to girls and converses with them in the following manner: "Hey, you're hot, want to fuck?" - "WTF! You're a douchebag! You're not even offering me a drink!" - "What drink, you bitch!", they fight a bit... and after a while they leave the club together... They say women like self-confidence...

And speaking of girls... all a girl needs to do is to look good. People will just surround her and invite her to parties and gatherings just like that.

Written by Ernis on 08.04.2012 at 20:35

And speaking of girls... all a girl needs to do is to look good. People will just surround her and invite her to parties and gatherings just like that.

Haha I don't know about that... There's some truth to it, but no matter how good-looking a girl is, people will eventually keep their distance if she's a real bitch or totally boring. In nearly every "relationship" I had, I had to make some initiative, whether it was making the first move or just going out of my way to be really flirty to give someone a hint. Then again, it's not like I'm extremely attractive or anything, just good looking enough that being approached by guys is pretty common which is the case with a lot of girls.

And I would agree that confidence is definitely a significant thing that girls find attractive. From what I've seen, sense of humour and being fairly easy-going is pretty high up there too. I would say physical appearance as well, but I don't think girls judge it as harshly as guys do. Most girls don't actually care about how much money a guy has, as long as it's enough that they're financial competent and can afford to go on dates and stuff.

Written by Angelic Storm on 05.04.2012 at 22:48

Written by AiwiAstwihad on 05.04.2012 at 22:20

Old friends here, Hello Sara (Angelic Storm), how are you?
The topic was up and i thought how much i miss posting anti-love comments! Here comes back up! Ha ha!

Hey! Where on Earth have you been too? You've been gone so long now, I've been worrying something might have happened... lol Me? Even more stressed than usual, due to burst water pipes and gas leaks in my flat the past few months... Aside from that, I'm the same as always. Thanks for asking though, it's appreciated. xD

How's things for you?

Hehe I remember your anti-love comments!

Me, the same too!
Wish you the best, i'd better end the off topic post.
See you.

Written by Thrashette on 08.04.2012 at 04:11

On the topic of shyness in love, I remember reading somewhere that it's generally just men who are way less successful in love due to shyness, mostly because they're expected to make the first move.

Guys can definitely be shy at times. Of course that depends on personality. The first time I hung out with the girl who is now my fiancee, we were walking together and I was nervous about holding her hand, and I guess she got tired of waiting because she grabbed mine. lol

Hey, I'm quite I actually guess pretty, cause I had some complements.Also in good shape. I am easy to talk and I never feel shy unless in special situations like talking in front of a big number of ppl when I had to do in university. I never cared for money matters in a guy,I consider myself a simple person who.praise all the simple enjoyments of life. I mean I always admired the intelligence in an individual and honesty and yeah self confident is important.I am telling in spite of all these things I have never been loved too. I never found out love,I had a boyfriend two years ago but no love. I even noticed that sometimes smart women are mostly ignored for being loved I am not sure it seems like that. The things is that I never found out anyone understanding enough.anyone that can make me interested in him. Sometimes it is so hard for me to talk with the person I date cause mostly were filled up with stupid thoughsts , and it leaded me to being a complete loner for 2 years. Actually I don't really talk too much or put so much effort for a romantic relationship I rather everything happens with no special use of words.I rather the person talks as brief as it is possible and just express himself with not much talking, I don't know seems that some ppl are not for love even they know how to love and they are pretty good personalities. I don't know what's wrong, sometimes it seems that I'm in the wrong place of world cause they keep telling me you're too open minded and It's not for here... and sometimes I think that perhaps love is not made for me.Sometimes I've been told I behave indifferently or cold. I'm not sure

Written by Guest on 16.04.2012 at 08:38

Hey, I'm quite I actually guess pretty, cause I had some complements.Also in good shape. I am easy to talk and I never feel shy unless in special situations like talking in front of a big number of ppl when I had to do in university. I never cared for money matters in a guy,I consider myself a simple person who.praise all the simple enjoyments of life. I mean I always admired the intelligence in an individual and honesty and yeah self confident is important.I am telling in spite of all these things I have never been loved too. I never found out love,I had a boyfriend two years ago but no love. I even noticed that sometimes smart women are mostly ignored for being loved I am not sure it seems like that. The things is that I never found out anyone understanding enough.anyone that can make me interested in him. Sometimes it is so hard for me to talk with the person I date cause mostly were filled up with stupid thoughsts , and it leaded me to being a complete loner for 2 years. Actually I don't really talk too much or put so much effort for a romantic relationship I rather everything happens with no special use of words.I rather the person talks as brief as it is possible and just express himself with not much talking, I don't know seems that some ppl are not for love even they know how to love and they are pretty good personalities. I don't know what's wrong, sometimes it seems that I'm in the wrong place of world cause they keep telling me you're too open minded and It's not for here... and sometimes I think that perhaps love is not made for me.Sometimes I've been told I behave indifferently or cold. I'm not sure

I sometimes feel that I wasn't meant for romantic love, but now I'm doubting that notion again. I think it just takes time to find the right person. I thought I was in love about a year or two ago, but I'm not so sure looking back on it. Even if I never did feel that sort of love and never will, I don't think it's a big deal. I can be happy without it. I'm considered by many to seem cold and indifferent as well, but those who care enough will earn my trust and eventually get me to open up to them. I haven't been able to find someone worthwhile for a long time, but let's just say I'm adapting my strategy and going for a different type of person...

I've also noticed that intelligent women seem to be overlooked when it comes to love. I hear lots of guys say they want a smart woman or at least one who isn't a dumbass, but many of them still go for stupid whores and seem turned off or intimidated by intelligent women. I'm sorry if this sounds sexist, but I'm guessing it's their male ego not wanting them to feel intellectually inferior to their woman, just like how most men wouldn't want a woman who's physically stronger and makes them feel emasculated (or on the opposite end, women want good looking sensitive guys but will usually turn down the super wimpy flamboyant metrosexuals). But it's understandable in the sense that you shouldn't be with someone whose level of intelligence is very different from your own, and it is natural for your brain to "blank out" around someone you admire.

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I sometimes feel that I wasn't meant for romantic love, but now I'm doubting that notion again. I think it just takes time to find the right person.

I've also noticed that intelligent women seem to be overlooked when it comes to love. I hear lots of guys say they want a smart woman or at least one who isn't a dumbass, but many of them still go for stupid whores and seem turned off or intimidated by intelligent women. I'm sorry if this sounds sexist, but I'm guessing it's their male ego not wanting them to feel intellectually inferior to their woman, just like how most men wouldn't want a woman who's physically stronger and makes them feel emasculated (or on the opposite end, women want good looking sensitive guys but will usually turn down the super wimpy flamboyant metrosexuals). But it's understandable in the sense that you shouldn't be with someone whose level of intelligence is very different from your own, and it is natural for your brain to "blank out" around someone you admire.

but you're so young still. And you just said it better than me, they don't take actions like they talk.Mostly rather a beautiful body and face with no brain or a half brain, to an average body and and face with a bit smarter brain I guess so! but the other thing is that guys love the girls who act so girly, talk in a special way and walking so girly.Well perhaps I'm one of those who females don't emphasize my feminine but seems that being a tempting female is important too like always smiling being always in a happy mood.Everyone has their own special traits,and there are some stereotypes for an attractive female,I think those stereotypes are stuck in their minds for being attracted to a female. What you said is not sexist, and it's about the nature of many guys.So it seems that its my own problem that's why I say I'm not for love.

Smart women are generally a turn on for some men

Written by Spirit Molecule on 16.04.2012 at 21:27

Smart women are generally a turn on for some men

rarely !

Written by Guest on 16.04.2012 at 21:43

Written by Spirit Molecule on 16.04.2012 at 21:27

Smart women are generally a turn on for some men

rarely !

Well I know quite a few men/women apart from myself as well. But maybe if I was just looking to fool around I wouldn't care too much I guess

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Well I know quite a few men/women apart from myself as well. But maybe if I was just looking to fool around I wouldn't care too much I guess

well somewhere I read before that males love to experience.

Written by Guest on 16.04.2012 at 18:18

Everyone has their own special traits,and there are some stereotypes for an attractive female,I think those stereotypes are stuck in their minds for to being attracted to a female. What you said is not sexist, and it's about the nature of many guys.So it seems that its my own problem that's why I say I'm not for love.

Not conforming to the stereotype of what an attractive female is doesn't necessarily mean that you're not meant for love. It could just mean that you're meant to love a guy who doesn't fit the stereotype of an attractive male or to have an unconventional relationship. That's the conclusion I've drawn about myself anyways.

On a related note, I was reading an article online that said the main reason why women aren't as crazy about casual sex as men is because they're less likely to be satisfied by it, not because they're looking only for serious relationships, because their sex drive is different, beacuse they're naturally more monogamous, because they have higher sexual morals, or whatever else we've been told. They backed it up saying that very few women are sexually satisfied after one night stands with men, so they're less likely to agree to it. Men on the other hand are much more easily satisfied, so one night stands are fine for them. They also used the fact that bisexual women are way more likely to agree to just fool around with other women than with men, though I can think of other reasons why this may be the case (no risk of pregnancy, lots of women don't take lesbian encounters as seriously, lots of guys are way more lenient about their woman cheating on them with another woman than with a man, etc). From my own experiences, I find this true. I probably would still be up for casual sex with guys if I had been more satisfied.

I think one of the biggest problems some people have with love is they over think about love. They worry too much about compatibility, focus too much on some possible suitor's small quirk or obsess over hypothetical scenarios that really have no basis in reality. A good exercise might be to write down things a guy/girl you like must absolutely have (i.e. the deal breakers or characteristics that without you wouldn't be compatible). For example, for some guys/gals that want children, a guy/gal that doesn't would be a deal breaker. The next thing you should consider when looking into someone is morals. Do you have similar beliefs/ethics? That has a huge role in compatibility.

Those items always play a huge role in relationships, and can cause obstacles. I think if you narrow your searches by those then you will start hitting closer to the mark.

Written by Guest on 16.04.2012 at 21:43

Written by Spirit Molecule on 16.04.2012 at 21:27

Smart women are generally a turn on for some men

rarely !

You don't think intelligent men would be attracted to intelligent women?

Written by R'Vannith on 17.04.2012 at 06:50

Written by Guest on 16.04.2012 at 21:43

Written by Spirit Molecule on 16.04.2012 at 21:27

Smart women are generally a turn on for some men

rarely !

You don't think intelligent men would be attracted to intelligent women?

Perhaps I can't generalize it. What I said was what I have experienced. But we all know that men naturally watch. I mean as much as women are known for emotions, men for what they see. Again I don't generalize it.

Written by Guest on 17.04.2012 at 04:18

I think if you narrow your searches by those then you will start hitting closer to the mark.

ok good points. But that's for guys. They can search and suggest a woman to date. Women can do the same thing after dating the guy.

Written by Guest on 17.04.2012 at 08:35

Written by Guest on 17.04.2012 at 04:18

I think if you narrow your searches by those then you will start hitting closer to the mark.

ok good points. But that's for guys. They can search and suggest a woman to date. Women can do the same thing after dating the guy.

Hmm, both genders can do that here where I live.

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Hmm, both genders can do that here where I live.

yeah both can do that , I meant in general

Trust me guys this is never ending topic. better to move on.

Why move on from a good discussion? I like where this thread has gone. It's nice to read about more philosophical interpretations of love and lust as opposed to people like myself plaguing the place talking about being lonely and suicide.

Keep it up.

Written by Troy Killjoy on 17.04.2012 at 16:26

Why move on from a good discussion? I like where this thread has gone. It's nice to read about more philosophical interpretations of love and lust as opposed to people like myself plaguing the place talking about being lonely and suicide.

Keep it up.

thanks Troy I myself thought I should hold my tongue in my mouth about this thread.

Written by Guest on 17.04.2012 at 16:46
thanks Troy I myself thought I should hold my tongue in my mouth about this thread.

I've personally sat back and enjoyed reading what others have to say.

It's a really great topic to get into when you start bringing personal beliefs into the mix. Then everyone else compares interpretations of actions and whatnot... definitely makes for an interesting read.

I think Love is a very vast amount of giant pool where you can contribute and learn the stuffs from that. People will keep share their experiences, comment on other opinions, suggesting them "you should probably do this cause I was once trapped like this..." and then you wipe out the loose weigh tears from your face, for a while, move on and it seems it will go like this only. So in that context i said just move on. I mean push this thread into some different dimensional tunnel.

Written by R'Vannith on 17.04.2012 at 06:50

You don't think intelligent men would be attracted to intelligent women?

that's what they do but somehow a lot of times they end up with dumb chicks.

Written by Ragana on 18.04.2012 at 20:29
that's what they do but somehow a lot of times they end up with dumb chicks.

Probably because intelligent women are stereotyped as more intimidating.

No offense to "dumb chicks", but they're so much less aware of stuff. You can act like an idiot and they don't care for the most part, they just like you because you're hot and you're giving them attention/affection.

I know it's all generalizations and there are always exceptions to rules, but that's the way it's set up typically. Smart girls are bitches who won't waste their time with you, dumb girls just love the cock.

Similar stereotypes apply to men as well. The smart ones are out of your average girl's league, the dumb ones are easier to get with.

Well, sure, but isn't it just stupid to be with somebody who just thinks you're fine 'cause she/he doesn't need anything else apart from a body and some attention?

Written by Ragana on 18.04.2012 at 20:43
Well, sure, but isn't it just stupid to be with somebody who just thinks you're fine 'cause she/he doesn't need anything else apart from a body and some attention?

As someone who isn't a part of the relationship, it's easy to say that. But people trick themselves into believing crazy things when they're with someone. It ties into the philosophy of not wanting to die alone.

I don't care about dying now, I'm just saying I wouldn't be with a person who doesn't care about, you know, me. and I sure do know how it is.

Written by Ragana on 18.04.2012 at 21:01
I don't care about dying now, I'm just saying I wouldn't be with a person who doesn't care about, you know, me. and I sure do know how it is.

That's what I'm saying. You don't care about that stuff, but a lot of other people do. And some people think they don't care, but then they end up tricking themselves into letting their emotions take over. It goes from "fling with dumb attractive person" to "we're going to get married" pretty quick sometimes.

That's pretty awful actually. sounds like choosing a study program in university. at first you think it'd be what you want and it would be great for your future, but if not soon enough then three/four years later you might realize you hate it. the clock's ticking, though.