Band:	Six Feet Under
Album:	Graveyard Classics IV: The Number Of The Priest
Style:	Death metal
Release date:	May 27, 2016
A review by:	ScreamingSteelUS

01. Night Crawler [Judas Priest cover]
02. Starbreaker [Judas Priest cover]
03. Genocide [Judas Priest cover]
04. Invader [Judas Priest cover]
05. Never Satisfied [Judas Priest cover]
06. Murders In The Rue Morgue [Iron Maiden cover]
07. Prowler [Iron Maiden cover]
08. Flash Of The Blade [Iron Maiden cover]
09. The Evil That Men Do [Iron Maiden cover]
10. Stranger In A Strange Land [Iron Maiden cover]
11. Total Eclipse [Iron Maiden cover]

You know what? It's not the worst album I've heard this month. I've made it my business over the last four years to rip Chris Barnes to shreds just as he has his own vocal cords, but I like to think that I have the capacity to give credit where credit is due, even if I have been waiting to pulverize Graveyard Classics IV for four years. Strange as it may seem, Graveyard Classics IV doesn't leave an eternal, indelible stain on the face of music quite as large or unsightly as its three forebears.

In the past, I've relied on Six Feet Under's poor instrumental performance to act as a get-ouf-of-jail-free card for my reviews - a way to say, "even if you don't hate Chris Barnes's voice as much as I do, this band still sucks." I may have to start looking for a new backup plan, because between the occasional outpourings of six-string flair and the pounding, ominous drums of "Night Crawler," Graveyard Classics IV definitely features the strongest performances of any 6FU album I've reviewed thus far, a circumstance which mitigates the overall retch factor. Of course, all I really mean is that the band no longer sounds like a bunch of randies off the street churning out demos in the drummer's mom's basement. Half the time the band still isn't playing in time with itself, the whole album is pretty low-octane, and I'm so worried about whether or not 6FU can even play the songs correctly that it took several tries before I could consider whether or not these guys play the songs well. The album's overall tone and atmosphere are much more reflective than usual of a professional recording environment and some level of solid effort, but going from "absolute dreck" to "nearly mediocre" is not the same as making a listenable piece of music.

As if it has to be said, Chris hasn't improved. No, no; heaven forbid. When I heard Chris say, "You can see it, girl," in "Prowler," I nearly vomited; his attempts to be casual, rhythmic, or "mate-y" feel peculiarly uncomfortable and morally objectionable, like if Akercocke showed up at your house, drank all your orange juice straight from the carton, and then kicked your dog. His cancerous belch at the end of the same song drives home just how poor of a decision he made by not retiring 20 years ago. In case you had never thought about it, yes, it is absolutely possible to growl in the wrong key, and boy, does Chris have a master class in store. It's one thing to ruin a fabulous vocal line once performed by Rob Halford or Bruce Dickinson, but it's another thing entirely to screw up so badly that the single note you actually hit isn't even the right note in any way. In fact, the disgusting monstrosity of "Murders In The Rue Morgue" and the laughable horror show of "The Evil That Men Do" make it seem like Chris has gotten worse since last we heard him.

Now that I've had my fill of Barnes-burning, I do have to give credit to Brian Slagel for his track list selection here. It's nice to see "Invader" and "Stranger In A Strange Land" rather than the ten millionth cover versions of "Living After Midnight" and "Wrathchild." On the other hand, when performed with all the passion of a misanthropic invalid held at gunpoint, even tremendous songs like "Night Crawler" or "Murders In The Rue Morgue" sound about as exciting and dynamic as Brownian motion.

I do have to admit to a certain and incredibly obvious level of personal bias against Chris Barnes; he was never going to escape this review unscathed. My own prejudices aside, this album still offers nothing inventive, nothing special, nothing compelling - just a selection of rote and lifeless carbon copies of great songs played with less personality, less inspiration, and so much less purpose than the original incarnations. Graveyard Classics IV might be somewhat better than the last three, but it is equally pointless.