Band:	Heavy Lord
Album:	Balls To All
Style:	Doom metal, Sludge metal
Release date:	May 2011

01. Back When The Giants Ruled The Earth
02. Balls To All
03. Kick Teeth
04. Dieselweed
05. Fear The Beard
06. Track 6
07. Mare Tranquillatis
08. Drown

To name your band Heavy Lord takes some balls. It sets a bit of a high bar for expectations. Not only must they be heavy, they most be royally so. They must be much heavier than us peasants. Well, Heavy Lord show off their big, brass ones on the aptly named Balls To All.

So things start off with some sweet, nice acoustic-y bits before "Stop! Ball Time!" Wave after wave of crushing riffs spray from the mighty axes they are beating on as the track "Back When The Giant (Balls*) Rule The Earth" slams home. This is when Heavy Lord are at their best. And Balls To The Mall has lots of those caveman riffs that will leave you flush and satisfied.

There are plenty of Balls Are Small moments as well spread through-out the album. Quieter, trippy moments to help stoned or battered listeners to mellow out, man. We wouldn't want any metalheads to die of self-induced riff overdose.

Speaking of suicide attempts and prevention, this is the second consecutive album I have reviewed where the most interesting/intriguing piece involves music as a backdrop to narration. In this case, "Mare Tranqualates" features a narrative story bit about a man planning on committing suicide, going over his plans, then his big, last second decision which drastically altered his plans? instead of swallowing a bottle of pills to a bottle of Ripple, he changes his mind at the last minute and opts for a $70 bottle of Merlot (Good call. If ending it all, shell out the extra $68.50 and go out in style). Opens it, obeys protocol and allows it to breathe (wouldn't want to commit a wine faux pas would we?), before swallowing the pills, draining his glass? then instead of suffocating, hallucinating.

And hallucinating Spaceballs For Y'all is what you'll be doing, as the band allows you a few more mellow moments before they resume busting your balls with more riffs. They truly are at their best when they cast aside the pussyfooting around and just go full frontal riff assault.

Balls Aren't It All does have some issues? I find the vocal delivery style annoying and it's nothing particularly original. It's all been done. Bands cannot live on balls alone, I suppose, but these are minor quibbles. So while it's not groundbreaking, Balls In Yer Ma** will still rock you.


* Ok, it's actually "Back When The Giants Rule The Earth"? I thought the Balls bit was unspoken, unwritten, yet implied. Well, quite possibly not at all implied. But not like I care. And doesn't this sound like a Balls Of The Minotaur song title?

** Har har. With an album titled Balls To All being released so close to Mothers Day, you didn't think I'd leave her out of the review, did you?