Band:	Shepherd
Album:	Stereolithic Riffalocalypse
Style:	Hard rock, Sludge metal
Release date:	March 07, 2015
A review by:	X-Ray Rod

01. Spite Pit
02. Turdspeak
03. Crook
04. Black Cock Of Armageddon
05. Stereolithic Riffalocalypse
06. Bog Slime
07. Wretch Salad
08. Stalebait
09. Undergod Dog [bonus]

- Hey sup, duuuude!
- Duuuuuuuuuude. You brought the snacks? I crave nachos real bad.
- Sorry, dude. It's 4 am. The store is closed. I found a cd in my room though.
- Like a nacho cd?
- No, dude. Let me just put it on.
- For fuck's sake, dude. All I asked you was to get some fucking nachos and you - *album starts* Hoooooooooly shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit duuuuuuuuuude.
- I know, right? Shit's smooth. Love that chunky bass.
- I'd eat that bass, dude. I feel all fuzzy. The pro...erm...yeah, the production, dude. It's all nice and shit.
- Nice and shit?
- Yeah, man. Nice and shit... Like, the riffs just BOOM on you. The drums are all pummeling and there's this perfect marriage of guitar and bass... You know, like the perfect marriage of weed and my non-existent nachos, you fuckwit.
- Hey man, you gotta let it go... Calm down.
- You just can't ask me to calm down when I'm - *Solo on title track*... Woah, you heard?
- Yeah, dude. That's some sick guitar going on, and listen... I think it's getting faster. Niiiiiiiiiice.
- It's awesome... after a couple of slow to mid-paced tracks I was just starting to think about faster stuff and BOOM, they did it. We had like...Like... A telephallic connection, dude.
- Telewha? Telephallic? The fuck you mean, dude?
- You know... Like when you want it and they just give it to you.
- You... You are freaking me out, dude. But it's cool, man. I respect you.
- Hey man I just said that it was a telepha...Oh wait. Telepathic. Shit. Sorry, must have been the big ass amplifier on the cover that confused me.
- Sure, sure... I bet it was the title of the fourth track, eh?
- Fuck you, dude. Also, that song is KILLER. Those last two minutes are amazing with their trippy interlude and catchy-as-rabies riffs at the end.
- Well anyway, you commented on the artwork? It kind of made me think of 2001.
- Great year, shame I don't remember most of it.
- No, I meant the movie. I betcha this shit would work with some space visuals. Listen to that soloing. Psychedelic stuff!
- Hahahaha yeah, hey is that the last track already? Man, time flies fast with this album. Massive song, dude. That profession...
- You mean progression.
- That's what I said, man. They really went all in with that song. You know what I like? They are having fun, dude. That's like... The best shit with bands like this one. To have fun.
- That was deep, dude...
- Thanks, man. Listen... I forgive you about the nachos. You just can't stay mad with this album. Relaxing stoner metal.
- And just the right amount of sludge to keep us awake and hungry for more.
- Yeaaaaaaaaah, dude.