101 Rules For Going To A Metal Concert
101 Rules For Going To A Metal Concert
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9.2 | 57 votes |
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1. Wear the band's shirt that you are there to see, even though it's already obvious 2. Go to the merch stand, stare forever while holding back the line, then leave without buying anything 3. When a musician gives you the microphone to scream a lyric, just yell random nonsense because you don't know the lyrics 4. Be too drunk to remember lyrics? or the show afterwards 5. Sing along loudly during ballads 6. Always mosh! This is non-negotiable 7. Lose your wallet 8. Get drunk 9. Yell a song that you want to hear, even though the band already played it 10. Bring your girlfriend to the show so she can hold your coat while you mosh 11. Swing your long, sexy metal hair even if it hits other people in their faces, but make sure not to wash it before hand 12. Don't headbang unless you have long hair 13. Don't bother to wear earplugs 14. Make out with your girlfriend in front of everyone 15. Since you are a pathetic, desperate metal head, violate any female that crowd-surfs. It's not sexual assault if no one sees it! 16. Be more brutal in the pit than a poodle with a sex change 17. If you're a really tall metal head, stand in the front. The only thing that matters is that YOU get the best view 18. Take pictures of the band playing with your shitty cell phone and then post them on your MySpace 19. Record 30 seconds of a song with your phone, then post it on YouTube 20. Talk on your cell phone while a band is playing, plug one hear with your finger, and try to shout over the music 21. But then later, lose your cell phone 22. Take your shirt off to look tough in the mosh pit 23. Guys don't care if they rub against sweaty, shirtless men, as long as they're METAL HEADS 24. During a fast and epic guitar solos, raise your hand and move your fingers really fast 25. During a really brutal or epic part of a song, hold up one open, clenched palm up in the air 26. Be more brutal in the pit than a zombie three-some 27. Fart next to a smelly, fat metal head and blame it on him 28. If you're too much of a pussy to mosh, then act tough by standing at the edge of the pit and push random moshers 29. Skip like a little school girl in the circle pit 30. Throw up your booze in the mosh pit - making the ground slippery only makes the show more brutal 31. Spend more money on alcohol than merch 32. Don't show up for the opening bands - the only bands that deserve your attention are the headliners 33. You must see Iron Maiden and Children of Bodom live every time they come to your city! 34. You cannot get the full concert experience with ear plugs - save them for the opening metalcore band 35. Don't bother with deodorant - you're going to mosh too hard for it to stay on anyways 36. Push as forward as you can during the headlining band to get as close as possible 37. Close male-to-male touching isn't gay at a metal concert 38. Girls shouldn't mosh unless they're lesbian 39. Be more brutal in the pit than 2 Girls 1 Snowcone Machine 40. A concert is always more important than your job 41. Be more brutal than your penile implant melting in the hot sun 42. If you're a girl, wear the slutiest outfit possible to the show 43. When crowd surfing, don't bother controlling your feet 44. People in the crowd don't mind getting kicked in the face 45. If you're huge and fat, don't be afraid to stage dive 46. The short, nerdy, folk metal fan will surely catch your fat ass 47. Be more brutal in the pit than The Jonas Brothers attempting gutturals 48. Anytime the vocalist announces the name of the next song, scream in excitement, even though you aren't familiar with it 49. Wear as much metal jewelry as possible 50. Metal spikes, studs, bracelets, etc. are acceptable even if they can cause serious injury and deadly impalement 51. Beat up the kid in the crowd who is wearing the As I Lay Dying shirt 52. Act tough while standing by yourself, while wearing your Trivium shirt and expensive Hot Topic pants 53. Try to sneak in the bar even if you're underage 54. Mosh for a band that isn't even fast! 55. You're too drunk anyways to be embarrassed 56. Say that your favorite band put on the best show ever, but don't go and see them again 57. Throw up the horns in between every song 58. Metal concerts are the only concerts worth attending 59. If you see someone standing around, throw them into the pit 60. Dress as metal as possible for the concert - remember, accessorizing is key 61. If you don't mosh, then you are gay 62. Tell your mom that you're going to a Green Day concert, even though you are actually seeing Cannibal Corpse 63. Force your girlfriend to go to your metal concert, but when she asks you to go to a Chevelle concert with her, make up an excuse not to go 64. Keyboard solos are even more epic live 65. Smoke in between and during each band 66. Mosh for a few seconds, then stop because you are too tired to continue 67. Then smoke again 68. Don't be afraid to mosh or crowd surf while wearing combat boots 69. It is ok to kick even if you're wearing combat boots, unless you're hardcore dancing, then gtfo 70. Laugh at the random metalcore band that was added to the lineup at the last minute 71. And do not mosh for them 72. If you're a black metal fan at a death metal show, complain about the bands not being atmospheric enough 73. If you're a death metal fan at a black metal show, complain about the bands not being brutal enough 74. Don't buy a band's album at their merch table - just download it when you get home 75. Get a picture of yourself with a band member, but you have to pose while showing the horns with a brutal facial expression 76. You aren't a real fan unless you see your favorite band during their third re-reunion tour 77. Get drunk so you can't feel pain in the pit 78. Always flex during brutal parts of a song 79. Before the show, make friends with the biggest dudes you can find. Think of it as mosher's insurance 80. Don't be afraid to tie your shoe in the middle of a mosh pit 81. Destroy all hardcore dancers 82. Focus on the little 14 year olds in the pit to make you look tougher 83. Mosh with a boner so people fear you more 84. The harder you mosh, the greater chance that you will get laid, even though you didn't take a shower 85. If you're short, just use your elbows for leverage 86. Be more brutal in the pit than attending church naked 87. Perform a series of neck stretches before the show to ensure neck longevity 88. A concert that has seating is gay and therefore not metal 89. Drunkenly babble to everyone near you, thinking that they're interested in your opinions 90. Mosh so hard in the beginning and middle of the concert that you are too tired to move during the headlining band 91. Have your mom drop you off at the show 92. Even though she said she'd only drop you off if you take your little sister to the upcoming Jonas Brothers concert 93. Lose your shoe in the pit at least once during every band 94. Miss the band's first song because you were outside smoking 95. Moshing counts as exercise 96. Be more brutal than the decapitated prostitute decaying in your trunk 97. Go to a show looking to get laid, even though there are only four women in the entire venue, and three of them look like trolls 98. Stick around after the show forever, hoping to meet a band member 99. Offer a musician some free weed just to be able to hang out with them 100. Write about your newest concert experience in the appropriate Metal Storm thread 101. Always help someone up in the pit if they fall down |
Comments page 3 / 3
| BrokenKnuckles Posts: 105  |
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| Horus Posts: 43 |
101. Always help someone up in the pit if they fall down no1 rule in my town 
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| Tortured Account deleted |
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| Megi Posts: 29 |
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| ArtKiz Posts: 19  |
#12 This sucks for me. #51 That's what he gets for wearing that shirt. #75 I've always wanted to do that  #83 ROFLMAO
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| Infernal Eternal Posts: 647  |
METAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL:banger2:   
---- {}::::::[]:::::::::::::::::> ONLY DEATH IS REAL <:::::::::::::::::[]::::::{} Rest In Peace: Bon Scott, Dave G. Halliday, Michael "Destructor" Wulf, Jerry Fogle, Quorthon, Witchhunter
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| Mattybu Posts: 2589  |
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| Necrox Posts: 103 |
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| Grody2themax Posts: 240  |
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| Grody2themax Posts: 240 |
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| Void Eater Account deleted |
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 9155  |
Written by [user id=111774] on 19.01.2012 at 07:55 At the Devildriver show there was a kid who kept asking for I Could Care Less. like 5 or 6 times :/
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| Cynic Metalhead Ambrish Saxena Posts: 7557  |
Totally agree with #61 but was really afraid in SOAD's concert where some bunch of Metalnerds were smashing their heads against each other and then falling down with blood all over their face like a dead dude killed in a motor accident. It was really terrible and I WAS FUCKING AWAY!!
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| nightwica Posts: 44  |
#77... 77. Get drunk so you can't feel pain in the pit been there, done that XD
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| ThunderAxe1989 Account deleted |
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| Thrashette Account deleted |
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 9155 |
Written by Warman on 16.08.2010 at 19:03 Just hit their hand, and knock the phone on the floor.
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| exomorphyx89 Posts: 180  |
#27... my conscience is pricking me! 
---- "Bang you head against the stage and metal takes its place..."
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| Freaktard Posts: 20  |
40. A concert is always more important than your job <.< >.> no need to tell me twice.
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| Darth Revan Posts: 147 |
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306  |
Written by Darth Revan on 02.01.2014 at 06:16 I could be wrong, but I believe MySpace is an old, old wooden ship used during the Civil War era.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| theterrorzone Posts: 2  |
Written by [user id=27368] on 08.04.2012 at 05:24 I never go to a concert without enough spikes on my clothes.
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| Amy Posts: 137 |
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| Amy Posts: 137 |
Written by ArtKiz on 14.03.2011 at 09:12 True! I die a little inside when people claim popstars have mosh pits...And those people do exist
---- \m/
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Amy on 09.01.2015 at 19:47 Come see a gig up here in Toronto - a lot of times there are more women than men, or at least a healthy 50-50 ratio.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Uldreth Posts: 1150 |
Written by Amy on 09.01.2015 at 19:49 Depends on what you define as "pop", but popular but aggressive-sounding electronica concerts often have moshpits (Skrillex, f. ex.).
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| Amy Posts: 137 |
Written by Uldreth on 20.01.2015 at 20:37 As in Katy Perry and the likes. I was not referring to EDM
---- \m/
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| Muse of Light Posts: 35  |
Written by Amy on 09.01.2015 at 19:47 Amen to that, ye gods.
---- "My past holds only pain and loss. I will conquer it by creating the perfect future." - Ixidor, reality sculptor
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| Fabiano Posts: 74  |
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@ #97
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