Fozzy - Do You Wanna Start A War - review
Fozzy - Do You Wanna Start A War - review
Tracklist
01. Do You Wanna Start A War02. Bad Tattoo
03. Lights Go Out
04. Died With You
05. Tonight [feat. Ralph "Michael Starr" Saenz]
06. Brides Of Fire
07. One Crazed Anarchist
08. Unstoppable [feat. Christie Cook]
09. Scarecrow
10. No Good Way
11. SOS
12. Witchery
A review by
Doc G. July 25, 2014
Fozzy is just flat-out boring. A Fozzy album is what an overprotective parent buys their pre-teen kid after giving up on trying to get them to give up metal. People quitting smoking switch to e-cigarettes, recovering alcoholics switch to alcohol-free beer, heroin addicts get methadone. If an addiction to metal was a real thing, Fozzy would seem like the logical anti-addictive. It's metal-lite. Not light-metal as in "a hard rock band with a metal edge" but closer to that feeling you get when someone tries to convince you skim milk is still milk. Bullshit. That analogy might strike you as a bit irrelevant, but once you hear Do You Wanna Start A War?, you'll see how drawing a comparison between this album and a flat, colorless mundane food item is actually quite appropriate.
So Fozzy are boring. Who gives a shit? If you want to be realistic, 99.9% of music that comes out is horrendously boring. What makes Fozzy remarkable in this aspect is that the memorable parts of this album are an amalgam of other people's music. Take for example "Lights Go Out" - it sounds like they were attempting some Nine Inch Nails meets Ozzy Osbourne approach, but instead it sounds like a mix between Sepultura's "Roots, Bloody Roots" and Robin Thicke's "Give It 2 U". Robin Thicke influence aside, this is pretty much a cover album of a collection of various radio-rock and classic heavy metal riffs. Between the misguided plagiarism and the slick, squeeky-clean over-production, it's hard to think of Fozzy as anything but a scaled-back Avenged Sevenfold.
Do You Wanna Start A War? No, Fozzy, I want you to start writing better music. Coming to a discount bin near you!
Comments
Comments:
11
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No interest in Fozzy here, but damn this review is worth a read or two! Good work, I laughed my ass off through the whole thing.
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Posts: 21306
Sounds like potential gateway music.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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"A Fozzy album is what an overprotective parent buys their pre-teen kid after giving up on trying to get them to give up metal." loooooooooool, Doc Godin strikes again. Awesome review man.
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Posts: 5161
Haha. Very entertaining review. Fortunately it didn't arouse my curiosity.
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Posts: 3565
It might work if it were cut with the vocals from the Sepultura/Pavarotti combo track, though haha.
---- Kick Ass, Die Young Less is More Stay Pure Stay Poor Music was my life, music brought me to life and music is how I will be remembered long after I leave this life. When I die there will be a final waltz in my head that only I can hear.
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Posts: 9575
I went to highschool with a kid that said he was listening to Holy Diver so I asked him if he had heard any other music by Dio, and he asked who Dio was, and I said the dude who wrote Holy Diver, and then he told me I was wrong, and showed me on his IPod that Fozzy wrote it. I said "you're a fuckin scrub" and then left. That's how I feel about this album too.
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Posts: 21306
Cool story bro.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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Posts: 9575 Written by Troy Killjoy on 28.07.2014 at 18:33 Fuk u 2 mate Keep runnin ur mouth and I'll cap u I swear on me mum (This is how I imagine joe talks)
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Posts: 231
Nothing like a good old fight on a Fozzy review comment board! classic
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