Band:	Event Horizon
Album:	Naked On The Black Floor
Style:	Power metal
Website:	http://www.eventhorizonband.com
Release date:	April 2006
A review by:	Undercraft

01. Everything That Begins?Must End
02. Deconstructed
03. Bited
04. Again
05. The Road To Myself
06. Fragments Of Insanity
07. Zero
08. The Flying Feather
09. The Wall

The Adventures Of Dude and Buddy

Chapter 2: Where's the naked chick?

Dude is sitting on a chair at home, he's reading a magazine, the doorbell rings, he opens it to find is Buddy, with another Cd in his hand.

Dude: You're back
Buddy: Yup.
Dude: Ok, come in? I guess
Buddy: Thanks! I brought you something a little more melodic this time, I'm sure you're going to like it man!
Dude: Why you're always bringing records for me to listen? Don't you have anything better to do?

(a moment of silence)

Dude: I guess not? ok, ok let's see what you got
Buddy: Take this man!
Dude. Event Horizon? Naked On The Black Floor
Buddy: Yeah man! Awesome Heavy Metal!
Dude: Man, are you sure you got the official Cd?
Buddy: Eh? Why? Why do you say that?
Dude: Look, look at this, come closer, the album title says, "Naked On The Black Floor"
Buddy: Yeah, so?
Dude: Look at the cover art , "Naked On The Black Floor" right? And what the hell is doing a dressed up chick on the fucking black floor?
Buddy: Whooaah! You're right man!
Dude: Yeah, I mean, at least give us a naked chick in there! what's the point of having a dressed girl when the album title states clearly that she should be NAKED!!!
Buddy: Maybe is a guy the one is supposed to be naked in the black floor? Or maybe the photo was taken before the chick took her clothes off?

(a moment of silence)

Buddy rises and puts the Cd on the Cd player, music starts to sound

Dude: Let's look at this? where they are from?
Buddy: Italy
Dude: ah, ok... (mumbles) how original...
Dude: Long intro...
Buddy: It's about to explode, hold on?

(guitars kicks in, Buddy starts headbanging frantically, Dude stares)

Buddy: Great stuff right?
Dude: I don't know man... I mean...
Buddy: What?? What now?
Dude: I don't mean to be an asshole but, man how come you're all excited eh? Haven't you heard this before? Well, I did, for the past twenty years!
Buddy: But those bands had this keyboardist?
Dude: Yes, much better, and those electronic samples the band uses is nothing new by today standards.
Buddy: I think you're missing the point, these are classics tunes we used to headbang when we were kids, classics aren't supposed to change!
Dude: Yeah, but if I wanted to hear a Classic Heavy Metal band I'd hear a Classic Heavy Metal band, not this!
Buddy: oh, shut the fuck up and keep listening.

(both sit down and listen the record, in some songs Buddy plays with his air guitar)

Dude: This song is called "The Road To Myself" pretty philosophical right?
Buddy: Yeah! This song has a killer bass solo, wait for it....

(bass solo)

Dude: That wasn't bad, but still man, I have to say it...
Buddy: What?
Dude: I fucking hate their vocalist
Buddy: Really?
Dude: Yeah, I mean the poor guy is throwing their lungs out of his mouth and he can't even reach those high notes, really annoying.
Buddy: Yeah... as a matter of fact I'm not crazy about the vocals either...
Dude: (mocks the singer in falsetto) yeeaaah I got a big black dong inserteeeeed, but that's the roaaaaad to myseeelf!
Buddy: hahahaha wicked vocals man!

Dude: Turn this crap off
Buddy: It's not crap man, you need to have a special taste for this stuff to appreciate it well!
Dude: (goes falsetto) tuuurn it ooooooooff or i'll beaaat the craaaap out of youuuuu!
Buddy: Fuck you man, I'm out, catch you later!
Dude: Yeah, whatever...

FIN

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