- Umskiptar review
| Band: | Burzum |
| Album: | Umskiptar |
| Style: | Black metal |
| Release date: | May 2012 |
01. Blóðstokkinn
02. Jóln
03. Alfadanz
04. Hit Helga Tré
05. Æra
06. Heiðr
07. Valgaldr
08. Galgviðr
09. Surtr Sunnan
10. Gullaldr
11. Níðhöggr
Imagine this: During a weekend away from home, you decided to hit up as many fast food restaurants as humanly possible. But not just the major chains. You also make stops at all the small franchised take-out places that put the Triple Whopper to shame. You keep consuming and consuming until your stomach feels like it's been filled with bricks... This is a sure-fire sign that you need to take a shit. A big one. But you remember the last time you took a shit after a long weekend out... it was fucking unpleasant. And this time it's going to be much, much worse.
That's an analogy, in case you were wondering. Varg Vikernes, GENIUS MASTERMIND OF GLORIOUS BLACK METAL PROJECT Burzum, has been releasing - for lack of a better term - quite a stream of shit since his release from prison. Belus, Fallen, and now Umskiptar. Somewhere in there exists a compilation of re-recorded shit, too. Probably the result of too many trips to the little take-out chains. This shit is much different than before, however. This time around we're exposed to something far more shitty. Umskiptar marks a major departure from any of the shit Varg's been involved with before... although that doesn't necessarily mean it's not shitty as well. In fact, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it right now. This album is the worst of a bad bunch. Shit.
Having essentially moved away completely from the dark, atmospheric black metal of yore, Varg is now seemingly interested in "paying homage" to the likes of Bathory and early Enslaved by playing some stripped down version of what people back in the day called viking metal. The problem is the complete lack of anything going on. This album takes simplicity and meandering to an entirely different level. Rather than beautifully composed epic melodious black metal anthems, encouraging atmospheric tales of fantasy and historical wars, or even the traditional grim and frostbitten stylings of the second wave (of which Burzum was a significant part), Varg presents the world with his least imaginative work to date - even taking Dauði Baldrs into consideration.
I've heard more variation on a "sleep music" CD.
Picture an aging man dressed in some cheesy medieval battle costume chanting a Norse poem in his native tongue around a campfire to the same uninspired snail-paced riff that leads absolutely nowhere, beginning with the same folk-inspired "melody" as it ends with. Did I mention that all of these elements are buried deep in this weakening fuzzy production? Now picture this old man chanting to his one-dimensional folk-driven atmospheric music. Now do yourself a favor and don't bother ever making that mental image a reality.
Rating breakdown
| Performance: | 3 |
| Songwriting: | 2 |
| Originality: | 4 |
| Production: | 4 |
 | Written on 11.05.2012 by I'm total pro; that's what I'm here for. |
Rating:
8.2
8.2
|
Rating: 8.2 |
Another year passes, another Burzum album is released. Since Varg Vikernes, the most controversial Norwegian figure, has been released on probation from jail, he managed to put a new album every year and 2012, the year when the Mayan "apocalypse" is supposed to take place, is no exception. I do not know what Varg has been doing in jail. For 11 years he hasn't released a new record and in 2010 we get Belus and one year later Fallen. What can we say about Umskiptar? A new direction? Maybe, but not quite. Is it good or not? Depends on the individual. Since this is my own review I have to admit that when I listened to it first, I wasn't impressed but after a couple of auditions, I get that even Varg tries to take a step towards innovation. Read more ›› |
Comments page 5 / 6
| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276  |
Written by Guest on 14.05.2012 at 17:18 Depends on the mood, sometimes I preffer DSEV, Sometimes HLTO... But I definitely do not agree that their third album is just one-song-wonder. Filosofem is great too... It's only the length that ruins it, but you can always just skip the 25 min song.... That album would have been my favorite album easily if Varg squished that 25 min song into a 5 min format and part of the last song could have been used on the fourth one isntead. thus we get a 40 min album. But when I think more about it... He could have just erased the last two songs al together, yous till get around 30 mins which are imo almost perfect. Written by Guest on 14.05.2012 at 17:23 I see nothing wrong in asking someone else for their 2 cents. He's not asking us what he should do, just our opinion.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Written by Guest on 14.05.2012 at 17:56 It's wrong to do that, I agree... but it doesn't stop me from answering since it's his business. 
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 8987  |
I like Filosofem Myself.
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| Hendrikse Account deleted |
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Written by Guest on 14.05.2012 at 20:34 I like them too, but I wouldn't write about them in the same post where I'm writing about his best album.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| @gent_-_orange Posts: 905  |
Written by Bones222 on 14.05.2012 at 09:41 Get Filosofem, Its worth it for the first four tracks, IMO Burzum never created a fully consistent album, But Filosofem is the closest he got to one (although the last two songs are a waste of time IMO), and you could get Hyvis Lyset Tar Oss for the excellent first song. Just my opinion.
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| Bones222 Posts: 8  |
Sweet thanks for the posts! Will check it out, fortunately have a record store nearby with most of the back catalogue at a good price, cheers again.
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 8987 |
Written by Bones222 on 15.05.2012 at 08:43 Lucky >.> I'm stuck with either online (shipping kills) or HMV.
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| scaesura Posts: 174 |
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| Nocturno-Inculto Posts: 38  |
Yeah... I am an official reviewer too... cof, cof... but this album sounds like shit!!! By the way, I like very much "Belus".
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| Slakter Posts: 3 |
The Umskiptar is what i would say after listening it a dozen times definitely the best of Burzum. (btw Belus and Fallen are brilliant as well):thumbup: I am actually surprised and disappointed about you TROY - how can the guy working for one of the best metal portals around, write so bad and amateurish review? Metal if you like it or not is an alternative to pop culture and YOU just saying that one of the most ORIGINAL underground artist around is shit! That is so wrong. I wonder what you listen ? Bloody Jedward ?  You should bloody encourage people to listen something different than MEGADEATH, JUDAS PRIEST AND METALLICA (with all respect) again and again!!! What I'm saying is you have got here like thousands metal bands and what is on top of your charts again and again? -same thing! Megadeath and judas p. I mean what is this! f..g "metal got talent" or "strictly come and play metal".:mad: Maybe it is time for something original like Burzum to be appreciated as it should and deserves, you moaning about poor production - you seem to forget that that was the concept of Burzum -to sound as RAW as possible and considering that Varg plays all by himself I think he is doing rather good job. And one more thing -your reviews I read from time to time are the worst BORING SHIT  of any on this website!!!People! DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS CLOWN  --- BURZUM RULEZ !!!  Shame on you TROY !!!
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 8987 |
Written by Slakter on 23.05.2012 at 01:31 The album still sucks donkey dick. And if you haven't noticed, this is probably the most mainstream thing Troy's reviewed since the Devildriver one. Again, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Also saying Varg is original is fairly incorrect, his last three have been pretty much the same shit. That's pretty much all I could understand from that post.
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| Slakter Posts: 3 |
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 8987 |
Written by Slakter on 23.05.2012 at 02:01 And here's where I stop try to converse with you like a normal human being. Toodleloo.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306  |
Written by Slakter on 23.05.2012 at 02:01 ... I don't even know what to say. Sorry?
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Hey, I was wondering when would the first nutjob appear.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Boxcar Willy yr a kook Posts: 8987 |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 23.05.2012 at 08:48 Well, We have a winnner.
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| Slakter Posts: 3 |
...and here we go - After another couple of days of listening over and over of Umskiptar I must admit: IT IS SO SHIT THAT IT IS JUST BEYOND MY IMAGINATION !!! (just downgraded the rating accordingly) ALTHOUGH THE SONG THAT STOPPED ME FROM FLUSH THIS ALBUM IN TOILET IS "Gullaldr" (great song by the way -if only Varg could get credit for the words as well but only for music -great job) But - Fallen is way better - brilliant album. OK - come on BoxCar Willy - have a go at me  As about you Troy - your review isn't inaccurate or wrong - it is just obscure and inappropriate and disgusting that's all - no hard feelings right ?
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Slakter on 25.05.2012 at 23:59 Not at all. Was a bit comical reading your response at first although I do receive similar comments when I publish more controversial reviews. Glad to hear you don't like the album though. 
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Slayer666 Posts: 2466  |
Written by Slakter on 23.05.2012 at 02:01 It is professional. See, Troy is being payed big bucks by the Jews to shit all over the album. It's all a part of the conspiracy against Varg.
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| Cal Wolvington Account deleted |
Cal Wolvington
Account deleted
As bad as this album is, I say it was worth being released for the sake of having this review. This is what I imagine James Rolfe would sound like if he reviewed albums instead of video games
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Guest on 30.05.2012 at 12:37 This is the greatest compliment I've ever received.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 31.05.2012 at 01:08 I didn't know about that guy before.... Until now, I've seen like an hour of his videos. Fucking brilliant and brutal Can't stop laughing.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Unholy_Emperor Posts: 120  |
What I don't get about this review is the fact that its objective seems to be making fun of Varg Vikernes rather than analyzing his music from this album. The review is pretty short and in fact you can skip the first two paragraphs without missing significant information... So, yeah, I understand someone may find it funny, but usually that's the purpose of a joke, not a music review.
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by Unholy_Emperor on 05.06.2012 at 21:53 A joke album necessitates a joke review.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| Unholy_Emperor Posts: 120 |
Good point. Problem is I'd like to know more about why you think this album is so bad and laughable. Your style is your call, but maybe a bit more information about the music next time? What you said about the unsuccessful viking metal approach was interesting for example. Anyway, it's just an opinion.
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| Bonna Posts: 15 |
Hmmm, I kinda question the quality of this website when I click on the title of this new Burzum album and first thing that is thrown at me, is this staff "review" of a guy called Killjoy. Look, I always value the critique of a "staff member", somehow I assume that these guys offer something more than the average website visitor. It's not that I get my albums based on these scores solely, but hey if a reviewer rates something as a 9/10, I'm very tempted to check it out. On the other hand, if they reviewer rates something 3/10 it probably wouldn't interest me, UNLESS I knew the band and I liked some previous work. In an ideal world with infinite time I would give every new release a spin but I haven't that time (does anyone?). So after reading his words, one quickly receives the slight impression that the guy doesn't like this Burzum release , in fact he doesn't like any of the last 3 releases at all. His own good right offcourse. Hooray for Killjoy!But seriously dude, this is not a review, it's an obvious rant. Maybe a funny one, but still a rant... This album really grew on me, although at first, I also thought it was very monotone, it really isn't. Or maybe his narrations are, but certainly not the music. In fact it's very layered and after a 10th spin I'm still discovering shit. The album kinda takes me back to the hypnotising feel of Filosem mixed with elements of Belus and Fallen. Anyways... you guys should check out Umskiptar. Sorry for my bad English, obviously it's not my native tongue.
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Written by Bonna on 12.06.2012 at 18:50 Shame that after a week of registering your opinion of a website gets influenced by something so trivial like one review between the thousands we have here Oh well, can't please anyone. I still wonder what would have happened if Troy did a "more serious" review but still kept the rating.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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| Troy Killjoy perfunctionist Staff Posts: 21306 |
Written by X-Ray Rod on 12.06.2012 at 19:09 I'll write one in comment-form, submit it in the album thread, and people can judge accordingly. Although this requires at least listening to the album again, which is quite a lot of work just to get a fucking point across.
---- "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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| X-Ray Rod Skandino Staff Posts: 18276 |
Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.06.2012 at 19:33 You are a trooper dude.
---- Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29 Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
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