Rating:
N/A
Fozzy - Do You Wanna Start A War
22 July 2014


01. Do You Wanna Start A War
02. Bad Tattoo
03. Lights Go Out
04. Died With You
05. Tonight [feat. Ralph "Michael Starr" Saenz]
06. Brides Of Fire
07. One Crazed Anarchist
08. Unstoppable [feat. Christie Cook]
09. Scarecrow
10. No Good Way
11. SOS
12. Witchery


It seems a little too easy picking on a band like Fozzy. The soapbox-contrarian part of me wants to love this album out of spite...But I just can't do it. Do You Wanna Start A War? is about as bland as it gets.

Fozzy is just flat-out boring. A Fozzy album is what an overprotective parent buys their pre-teen kid after giving up on trying to get them to give up metal. People quitting smoking switch to e-cigarettes, recovering alcoholics switch to alcohol-free beer, heroin addicts get methadone. If an addiction to metal was a real thing, Fozzy would seem like the logical anti-addictive. It's metal-lite. Not light-metal as in "a hard rock band with a metal edge" but closer to that feeling you get when someone tries to convince you skim milk is still milk. Bullshit. That analogy might strike you as a bit irrelevant, but once you hear Do You Wanna Start A War?, you'll see how drawing a comparison between this album and a flat, colorless mundane food item is actually quite appropriate.

So Fozzy are boring. Who gives a shit? If you want to be realistic, 99.9% of music that comes out is horrendously boring. What makes Fozzy remarkable in this aspect is that the memorable parts of this album are an amalgam of other people's music. Take for example "Lights Go Out" - it sounds like they were attempting some Nine Inch Nails meets Ozzy Osbourne approach, but instead it sounds like a mix between Sepultura's "Roots, Bloody Roots" and Robin Thicke's "Give It 2 U". Robin Thicke influence aside, this is pretty much a cover album of a collection of various radio-rock and classic heavy metal riffs. Between the misguided plagiarism and the slick, squeeky-clean over-production, it's hard to think of Fozzy as anything but a scaled-back Avenged Sevenfold.

Do You Wanna Start A War? No, Fozzy, I want you to start writing better music. Coming to a discount bin near you!


Band profile: Fozzy
Album: Do You Wanna Start A War


 



Written on 25.07.2014 by
Doc Godin
Former EIC. Now just a reviewer guy.
More reviews by Doc Godin ››



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Rupert - 26.07.2014 at 04:03  
Haha nice review. I'm curious though, unfortunately.
barnesy - 26.07.2014 at 04:10  
No interest in Fozzy here, but damn this review is worth a read or two! Good work, I laughed my ass off through the whole thing.
Troy Killjoy - 26.07.2014 at 05:38  
Sounds like potential gateway music.
Mattybu - 26.07.2014 at 06:02  
"A Fozzy album is what an overprotective parent buys their pre-teen kid after giving up on trying to get them to give up metal."

loooooooooool, Doc Godin strikes again. Awesome review man.
Ilham - 26.07.2014 at 06:04  
Haha. Very entertaining review. Fortunately it didn't arouse my curiosity.
LeChron James - 26.07.2014 at 07:44  
It might work if it were cut with the vocals from the Sepultura/Pavarotti combo track, though haha.
Kooldip - 26.07.2014 at 19:01  
Abba cover tho.
Boxcar Willy - 28.07.2014 at 16:14  
I went to highschool with a kid that said he was listening to Holy Diver so I asked him if he had heard any other music by Dio, and he asked who Dio was, and I said the dude who wrote Holy Diver, and then he told me I was wrong, and showed me on his IPod that Fozzy wrote it.


I said "you're a fuckin scrub" and then left. That's how I feel about this album too.
Troy Killjoy - 28.07.2014 at 18:33  
Cool story bro.
Boxcar Willy - 28.07.2014 at 19:22  
Written by Troy Killjoy on 28.07.2014 at 18:33

Cool story bro.

Fuk u 2 mate Keep runnin ur mouth and I'll cap u I swear on me mum


(This is how I imagine joe talks)

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