Alestorm - The Thunderfist Chronicles - review
Alestorm - The Thunderfist Chronicles - review
Band
Alestorm Release date
June 20, 2025 Tracklist
01. Hyperion Omniriff02. Killed To Death By Piracy
03. Banana
04. Frozen Piss 2
05. The Storm
06. Mountains Of The Deep
07. Goblins Ahoy! [Nekrogoblikon cover]
08. Mega-Supreme Treasure Of The Eternal Thunderfist [feat. Russell Allen and Patty Gurdy]
A review by
omne metallum June 29, 2025
Omne, I hear you ask, you're not ScreamingSteelUS, what are you doing reviewing an Alestorm album? Is he ill, or has he abandoned the seven seas for a career as a landlubber? Omne, I also hear you ask, you listen to hardcore and thrash, what do you know about fun? On the contrary, my dear reader, I know my poop deck from my aft, I know a kraken from a Wacken; I've also endured all the Pirates Of The Caribbean films, so I'm also versed in try-hard, banal pirate-themed media too. I've known Alestorm since their Captain Morgan's Revenge days, and while they have long abandoned their 'heavy metal pirates' phase for their 'we're wacky party pirates lol' sound, I've kept tabs on them from a distance, akin to a scientist observing a plague victim from a quarantined zone.
From what I can observe from the crow's nest, The Thunderfist Chronicles is the band's, dare I say, most ambitious work since they taught a choir of dogs to bark in musical fashion (what do you mean they weren't real dogs? AI wasn't a thing back then)... or Sunset On The Golden Age, when the band weren't putting the humour first and music second. Alestorm can be quite the entertaining shanty merchants, it's a shame they don't do it more often.
I'm not a 'no fun, scowl with arms folded at the back of the venue' guy (well, not all the time anyway), and there were a few moments across The Thunderfist Chronicles that got a rise out of me; the bait and switch of "Mountains Of The Deep" works because it's a good song first and foremost, before hitting you with a chorus that is unexpected and carefree. It's when the band's humour feels forced, like a divorced dad who only gets to see his kids once a month unleashing a barrage of swearing on "Banana" to try and elicit a response in a 'we're so wacky' way, that the ship lists and sinks.
I suppose I should mention the band's most ambitious and lengthy track to date, in the closing "Mega-Supreme Treasure Of The Eternal Thunderfist", a 17-minute epic that took me back to my youth... back to a time when I didn't have the attention span to enjoy such a long track; at least now age has given me the wisdom to know it is because it's a 17-minute track filled with 5 minutes' worth of ideas... I mean, yarr! Plunder and treasure! Think someone needs to pass the pirates the memo that it's the content, not duration, that makes an epic track interesting.
While it's easy to volley criticism at Alestorm like a broadside fury, there are moments across the album where they produce something decent other than quotes for pirate cosplayers coming to a festival near you to repeat verbatim. Atop the aforementioned "Mountains Of The Deep", the arcade machine-esque keys of Vernon elevate "Killed To Death By Piracy" as an earworm you can't help but be taken in by. The more sedate, and more traditional-sounding, folk influence makes "The Storm" stick out as a pleasant change of pace. I know, enjoying the non-wacky Alestorm side is a forlorn place to be, given the band have long since nailed their identity to the drunken LARPing mast.
So what treasure awaits you when the good ship Alestorm comes into port? Well, not much, aside from a few gems here and there; most of the bounty will come in the form of the weary, rum- and sea madness-riddled crew spewing tales punctuated by swears that got old several voyages ago. Now if you don't mind me, I'm off to find my land legs and leave ScreamingSteelUS to ride the seven seas on this well worn vessel.
Rating breakdown
| Performance: | 7 |
| Songwriting: | 5 |
| Originality: | 6 |
| Production: | 8 |
Written on 29.06.2025 by
Written on 29.06.2025 by
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening. Comments
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