Metal Storm logo
Burzum - Umskiptar review



Reviewer:
3.0

217 users:
6.23
Band: Burzum
Album: Umskiptar
Style: Black metal
Release date: May 21, 2012
A review by: Troy Killjoy


01. Blóðstokkinn
02. Jóln
03. Alfadanz
04. Hit Helga Tré
05. Æra
06. Heiðr
07. Valgaldr
08. Galgviðr
09. Surtr Sunnan
10. Gullaldr
11. Níðhöggr

Imagine this: During a weekend away from home, you decided to hit up as many fast food restaurants as humanly possible. But not just the major chains. You also make stops at all the small franchised take-out places that put the Triple Whopper to shame. You keep consuming and consuming until your stomach feels like it's been filled with bricks... This is a sure-fire sign that you need to take a shit. A big one. But you remember the last time you took a shit after a long weekend out... it was fucking unpleasant. And this time it's going to be much, much worse.

That's an analogy, in case you were wondering. Varg Vikernes, GENIUS MASTERMIND OF GLORIOUS BLACK METAL PROJECT Burzum, has been releasing - for lack of a better term - quite a stream of shit since his release from prison. Belus, Fallen, and now Umskiptar. Somewhere in there exists a compilation of re-recorded shit, too. Probably the result of too many trips to the little take-out chains. This shit is much different than before, however. This time around we're exposed to something far more shitty. Umskiptar marks a major departure from any of the shit Varg's been involved with before... although that doesn't necessarily mean it's not shitty as well. In fact, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it right now. This album is the worst of a bad bunch. Shit.

Having essentially moved away completely from the dark, atmospheric black metal of yore, Varg is now seemingly interested in "paying homage" to the likes of Bathory and early Enslaved by playing some stripped down version of what people back in the day called viking metal. The problem is the complete lack of anything going on. This album takes simplicity and meandering to an entirely different level. Rather than beautifully composed epic melodious black metal anthems, encouraging atmospheric tales of fantasy and historical wars, or even the traditional grim and frostbitten stylings of the second wave (of which Burzum was a significant part), Varg presents the world with his least imaginative work to date - even taking Dauði Baldrs into consideration.

I've heard more variation on a "sleep music" CD.

Picture an aging man dressed in some cheesy medieval battle costume chanting a Norse poem in his native tongue around a campfire to the same uninspired snail-paced riff that leads absolutely nowhere, beginning with the same folk-inspired "melody" as it ends with. Did I mention that all of these elements are buried deep in this weakening fuzzy production? Now picture this old man chanting to his one-dimensional folk-driven atmospheric music. Now do yourself a favor and don't bother ever making that mental image a reality.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 3
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 4
Production: 4





Written on 11.05.2012 by I'm total pro; that's what I'm here for.

Guest review by
TheMAGAmvm
Rating:
8.2
Another year passes, another Burzum album is released. Since Varg Vikernes, the most controversial Norwegian figure, has been released on probation from jail, he managed to put a new album every year and 2012, the year when the Mayan "apocalypse" is supposed to take place, is no exception.

I do not know what Varg has been doing in jail. For 11 years he hasn't released a new record and in 2010 we get Belus and one year later Fallen. What can we say about Umskiptar? A new direction? Maybe, but not quite. Is it good or not? Depends on the individual. Since this is my own review I have to admit that when I listened to it first, I wasn't impressed but after a couple of auditions, I get that even Varg tries to take a step towards innovation.

Read more ››
published 27.10.2012 | Comments (2)


Comments

Comments: 160   [ 1 ignored ]   Visited by: 887 users
11.05.2012 - 18:20
!J.O.O.E.!
Account deleted
While I think this is way too low I'm just gonna remind myself what Beherit did to me with Engram and how I reacted to it.
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:24
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by [user id=4365] on 11.05.2012 at 18:20
While I think this is way too low I'm just gonna remind myself what Beherit did to me with Engram and how I reacted to it.

This is the equivalent of Varg being the main man behind Somber Eyes.

Not only do I consider myself a fanboy no more, but a general fan no more. He had four years of creative genius and then... pulled a Metallica, basically.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:27
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
I agree, way too low but then again... My rating would be around a 5 if not a 4. This IS shit. It's just that to me it's not as smelly.

Burzum: Just quit already.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:29
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.05.2012 at 18:27
This IS shit. It's just that to me it's not as smelly.

There needs to be a picture of a guy closely examining this album with the caption "Yep, it's shit."
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:31
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.05.2012 at 18:29

Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.05.2012 at 18:27
This IS shit. It's just that to me it's not as smelly.

There needs to be a picture of a guy closely examining this album with the caption "Yep, it's shit."

I would totally do that but that means that I have to get in contact with a physical copy of this piece of shit... So, I don't know man.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:37
strade
I don't see any way in which this band "pulled a Metallica." That simply doesn't make sense to me. At the very worst it's average ambient black metal. Any worse of a judgment would come from name recognition.
----
My lo-fi synth project: http://luciddreamer.bandcamp.com
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:43
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by strade on 11.05.2012 at 18:37
I don't see any way in which this band "pulled a Metallica." That simply doesn't make sense to me. At the very worst it's average ambient black metal. Any worse of a judgment would come from name recognition.

Metallica's back catalog is filled with what many perceive as "classics", much like Burzum's back catalog.

Then Varg went to prison and released two of his (then-) worst releases, similar to Load/Re-Load for Metallica (without the whole prison/self-defense thing).

Metallica tried to return to their roots with Death Magnetic but didn't recapture their former glory. Varg did the same with his post-prison releases.

Metallica dumbed themselves down to the point of being pretentious with Lou Reed. Varg did the same by himself with this.

Sure it has a little to do with the name... being that it's Burzum and I expected at least "mediocre" work from him as opposed to something completely watered down and simplified like this. At the end of the day if this is released by anyone else, maybe I give it a 4 (at best), but the sentiments in my review wouldn't change at all.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:50
strade
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.05.2012 at 18:43

Written by strade on 11.05.2012 at 18:37
I don't see any way in which this band "pulled a Metallica." That simply doesn't make sense to me. At the very worst it's average ambient black metal. Any worse of a judgment would come from name recognition.

Metallica's back catalog is filled with what many perceive as "classics", much like Burzum's back catalog.

Then Varg went to prison and released two of his (then-) worst releases, similar to Load/Re-Load for Metallica (without the whole prison/self-defense thing).

Metallica tried to return to their roots with Death Magnetic but didn't recapture their former glory. Varg did the same with his post-prison releases.

Metallica dumbed themselves down to the point of being pretentious with Lou Reed. Varg did the same by himself with this.

Sure it has a little to do with the name... being that it's Burzum and I expected at least "mediocre" work from him as opposed to something completely watered down and simplified like this. At the end of the day if this is released by anyone else, maybe I give it a 4 (at best), but the sentiments in my review wouldn't change at all.

Fair enough. I think a lot you say that about a lot of bands if you're willing to make a connection that loose, though. I suppose the band's past work must play a part, but I wouldn't consider this simplified all that much. The albums people consider the masterpieces were fairly simple themselves as far as I'm concerned. Still, I happen to like this 'easy listening' style black metal from time to time. To each his own.
----
My lo-fi synth project: http://luciddreamer.bandcamp.com
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:51
JD
Account deleted
Sounds like you enjoyed Somber Eyes' album more than this, Troy.

I'd probably give it 5\10.
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:54
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by [user id=28526] on 11.05.2012 at 18:51
Sounds like you enjoyed Somber Eyes' album more than this, Troy.

To be honest I think they're on par musically... and probably vocally as well. The only reason this gets a 3 is that Varg is considered a professional musician and he's been writing music for like 20 years. Tanner's 15, an amateur by all accounts, and wrote one album in like three months. Expectations are completely different.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:57
JD
Account deleted
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.05.2012 at 18:54

Expectations are completely different.

True...
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 18:58
Unhealer
Eclecticist
So you finally took this review out of your system I heard some tracks of this album and they sounded a lot like you describe them, yet I never took the time to check out Burzum's classics so I can't compare (Yeah, I know I should).

Your Metallica-Burzum comparison sounded a little bit try-hard, btw. Again, based only on things I read of Varg/Burzum.
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:04
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by Unhealer on 11.05.2012 at 18:58
So you finally took this review out of your system I heard some tracks of this album and they sounded a lot like you describe them, yet I never took the time to check out Burzum's classics so I can't compare (Yeah, I know I should). Your Metallica-Burzum comparison sounded a little bit try-hard, btw. Again, based only on things I read of Varg/Burzum.

You don't need to listen to his back catalog to compare to be honest. This album stands on its own as a poor release, compared to virtually any other black metal album released in the past decade or even any metal album regardless of sub-genre this year.

As for the try-hard comparison... I'm not sure what you mean by that. I don't think I'm trying to achieve some sort of image or whatever by comparing two popular bands' decline in terms of quality over the years. :/
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:06
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by strade on 11.05.2012 at 18:50
The albums people consider the masterpieces were fairly simple themselves as far as I'm concerned.

That's not the same thing. The music of those albums was meant to be simplistic. This time, it's obvious that Varg tried to do something far more ambitious and failed horribly at that. Considering the style this album tries to evoke which is of the "epic", "viking" kind of black metal... this IS very simplified.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:10
Unhealer
Eclecticist
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.05.2012 at 19:04

As for the try-hard comparison... I'm not sure what you mean by that. I don't think I'm trying to achieve some sort of image or whatever by comparing two popular bands' decline in terms of quality over the years. :/

Oh, that is not what I meant... I probably used the wrong word. I meant you are trying hard to make the whole comparison sound coherent. Comparing Varg's prison records with Load/Reload sounds a little bit exaggerated to me.
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:11
strade
Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.05.2012 at 19:06

Written by strade on 11.05.2012 at 18:50
The albums people consider the masterpieces were fairly simple themselves as far as I'm concerned.

That's not the same thing. The music of those albums was meant to be simplistic. This time, it's obvious that Varg tried to do something far more ambitious and failed horribly at that. Considering the style this album tries to evoke which is of the "epic", "viking" kind of black metal... this IS very simplified.

I don't think this release is ambitious in any way.
----
My lo-fi synth project: http://luciddreamer.bandcamp.com
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:13
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by Unhealer on 11.05.2012 at 19:10
Oh, that is not what I meant... I probably used the wrong word. I meant you are trying hard to make the whole comparison sound coherent. Comparing Varg's prison records with Load/Reload sounds a little bit exaggerated to me.

Ah, fair enough. I'm only comparing their discography because they both started out with what people nowadays consider classics only to take a complete nose-dive over the years. It was more of a quick reference than an actual belief.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:17
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by strade on 11.05.2012 at 19:11
I don't think this release is ambitious in any way.

If not ambitious, then we can call it "trying to do something bigger than he can actually make". The main point of my comment was that the simplicty of his classics is not the same as the simplicity of this album.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:22
EdguyAsFuck
Okay, this review is very poorly written but I do kinda agree about this album - it's a boring, bloated mess. I thought Fallen was a step in the right direction (more memorable melodies and concise songwriting), but this just falls straight back into what brought Belus down for me, which is meandering, vanilla-grade mediocrity. This shit might have been passable in the early 90s, but Varg is so far up his own ass that he's still under the impression that current Burzum is in any way relevant given the remarkable amount of growth and innovation that black metal has seen in the last 10-15 years.
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:24
Azoic
Account deleted
Hop to it, bitches.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:30
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by EdguyAsFuck on 11.05.2012 at 19:22

Okay, this review is very poorly written but I do kinda agree about this album - it's a boring, bloated mess. I thought Fallen was a step in the right direction (more memorable melodies and concise songwriting), but this just falls straight back into what brought Belus down for me, which is meandering, vanilla-grade mediocrity. This shit might have been passable in the early 90s, but Varg is so far up his own ass that he's still under the impression that current Burzum is in any way relevant given the remarkable amount of growth and innovation that black metal has seen in the last 10-15 years.

Agree with all this. Although I don't find anything particularly poor about this review.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:36
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.05.2012 at 19:30
Although I don't find anything particularly poor about this review.

Thanks (and I agree with everything myself). I've written worse reviews for sure.

(Maybe it's because I said shit too many times...)
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:38
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.05.2012 at 19:36
(Maybe it's because I said shit too many times...)

I don't know... I thought the main intention of the overuse of the word shit was because of the first metaphor in the beginning of the review, so it felt natural xD
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:40
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.05.2012 at 19:38
I don't know... I thought the main intention of the overuse of the word shit was because of the first metaphor in the beginning of the review, so it felt natural xD

Well that was the intent, although sometimes when I try to incorporate these stupid artsy elements it blows up in my face.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:41
Rating: 5
Boxcar Willy
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
That was an interesting read
----
14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum

DESTROY DRUM TRIGGERS
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:43
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by Troy Killjoy on 11.05.2012 at 19:40

Well that was the intent, although sometimes when I try to incorporate these stupid artsy elements it blows up in my face.

Oh yeah because it's really artsy to talk about shit... Torsofuck would be proud of you!
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 19:44
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.05.2012 at 19:43
Torsofuck would be proud of you!

I knew I had an audience somewhere!
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 20:01
InnerSelf
proofread free
The first couple of songs kinda "exited" me, but then the same overall sound meandered on and on and on and on and ... you get the picture.
The only album out of the post-prison era that I couldn't even finish, so I agree with the review.
----
He who is not bold enough
to be stared at from across the abyss
is not bold enough
to stare into it himself.
Loading...
11.05.2012 - 20:23
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by InnerSelf on 11.05.2012 at 20:01
The first couple of songs kinda "exited" me

Yeah, they definitely passed me by as well.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
11.05.2012 - 20:36
EdguyAsFuck
Written by X-Ray Rod on 11.05.2012 at 19:30

Written by EdguyAsFuck on 11.05.2012 at 19:22

Okay, this review is very poorly written but I do kinda agree about this album - it's a boring, bloated mess. I thought Fallen was a step in the right direction (more memorable melodies and concise songwriting), but this just falls straight back into what brought Belus down for me, which is meandering, vanilla-grade mediocrity. This shit might have been passable in the early 90s, but Varg is so far up his own ass that he's still under the impression that current Burzum is in any way relevant given the remarkable amount of growth and innovation that black metal has seen in the last 10-15 years.

Agree with all this. Although I don't find anything particularly poor about this review.

I don't know, the whole fast food-induced shit analogy seemed kinda silly and dismissive, ideally a review should be a little more in depth than taking half the review to call the album shit without much of a reason
Loading...

Hits total: 21138 | This month: 17