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Burzum - Umskiptar review



Reviewer:
3.0

217 users:
6.23
Band: Burzum
Album: Umskiptar
Style: Black metal
Release date: May 21, 2012
A review by: Troy Killjoy


01. Blóðstokkinn
02. Jóln
03. Alfadanz
04. Hit Helga Tré
05. Æra
06. Heiðr
07. Valgaldr
08. Galgviðr
09. Surtr Sunnan
10. Gullaldr
11. Níðhöggr

Imagine this: During a weekend away from home, you decided to hit up as many fast food restaurants as humanly possible. But not just the major chains. You also make stops at all the small franchised take-out places that put the Triple Whopper to shame. You keep consuming and consuming until your stomach feels like it's been filled with bricks... This is a sure-fire sign that you need to take a shit. A big one. But you remember the last time you took a shit after a long weekend out... it was fucking unpleasant. And this time it's going to be much, much worse.

That's an analogy, in case you were wondering. Varg Vikernes, GENIUS MASTERMIND OF GLORIOUS BLACK METAL PROJECT Burzum, has been releasing - for lack of a better term - quite a stream of shit since his release from prison. Belus, Fallen, and now Umskiptar. Somewhere in there exists a compilation of re-recorded shit, too. Probably the result of too many trips to the little take-out chains. This shit is much different than before, however. This time around we're exposed to something far more shitty. Umskiptar marks a major departure from any of the shit Varg's been involved with before... although that doesn't necessarily mean it's not shitty as well. In fact, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it right now. This album is the worst of a bad bunch. Shit.

Having essentially moved away completely from the dark, atmospheric black metal of yore, Varg is now seemingly interested in "paying homage" to the likes of Bathory and early Enslaved by playing some stripped down version of what people back in the day called viking metal. The problem is the complete lack of anything going on. This album takes simplicity and meandering to an entirely different level. Rather than beautifully composed epic melodious black metal anthems, encouraging atmospheric tales of fantasy and historical wars, or even the traditional grim and frostbitten stylings of the second wave (of which Burzum was a significant part), Varg presents the world with his least imaginative work to date - even taking Dauði Baldrs into consideration.

I've heard more variation on a "sleep music" CD.

Picture an aging man dressed in some cheesy medieval battle costume chanting a Norse poem in his native tongue around a campfire to the same uninspired snail-paced riff that leads absolutely nowhere, beginning with the same folk-inspired "melody" as it ends with. Did I mention that all of these elements are buried deep in this weakening fuzzy production? Now picture this old man chanting to his one-dimensional folk-driven atmospheric music. Now do yourself a favor and don't bother ever making that mental image a reality.


Rating breakdown
Performance: 3
Songwriting: 2
Originality: 4
Production: 4





Written on 11.05.2012 by I'm total pro; that's what I'm here for.

Guest review by
TheMAGAmvm
Rating:
8.2
Another year passes, another Burzum album is released. Since Varg Vikernes, the most controversial Norwegian figure, has been released on probation from jail, he managed to put a new album every year and 2012, the year when the Mayan "apocalypse" is supposed to take place, is no exception.

I do not know what Varg has been doing in jail. For 11 years he hasn't released a new record and in 2010 we get Belus and one year later Fallen. What can we say about Umskiptar? A new direction? Maybe, but not quite. Is it good or not? Depends on the individual. Since this is my own review I have to admit that when I listened to it first, I wasn't impressed but after a couple of auditions, I get that even Varg tries to take a step towards innovation.

Read more ››
published 27.10.2012 | Comments (2)


Comments page 3 / 6

Comments: 160   [ 1 ignored ]   Visited by: 887 users
12.05.2012 - 03:15
Darn I was afraid that this might happen. Thanks for the warning, Troy.
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12.05.2012 - 03:19
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Oh man I'm so calling you Taco Bell from now on. Fucking hysterical. I just love when people think that you should review stuff that you like.... Also "matter of tastes?" well... yeah, it's all about matter of tastes indeed. What does that have to do with the review? It's one man's opinion and that's it. Clearly some folks don't know that a review doesn't hold as much power and they think it does.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

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12.05.2012 - 03:19
Otravia
Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.05.2012 at 03:11

Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 03:08
Hey, Taco Bell, slow down. Just cause you have a bad stomach doesn't mean the last thing you ate was crap. Maybe you can't tell what was good from what was bad anymore because you've indulged in way too much tasteless stuff. You could show some respect, a lot of what you're saying is uncalled for; oh and you should remember that it's always a matter of taste, the fact that you were unable to digest the more recent releases doesn't mean that the artist has lost his creativity. Btw, Bellus and especially Fallen are exquisite, in my ears at least. Before or after prison, that's quite irrelevant when it comes to music. Look at yourself, taking time to review something you dislike, rather than something you could really say interesting things about. I don't even give a flying shit whether the album is good or not, but your attitude towards it...it stinks just as much as shit does, after indigestion. Too old, too fucking cold, sugar. (please don't take it personally, i have nothing against you, just thought you could use a heads up on the fact that you are making a fool of yourself with such a "review", but hey, what can i say, it's a free world, or at least we are taught to believe so) Take care now.

I review albums I want to review, and whether or not people think I'm making a fool of myself is irrelevant to me. Actually you're the first person to bring that up here - everyone else seems to have enjoyed the review, even those who disagreed.

M'k, i should have known i was wasting my time "hating" a hater. Bring "everyone else" as support, but you know, just cause it's common doesn't make it normal. Go on wasting your time too, then. I know i'm stopping here. Cheers!
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12.05.2012 - 03:20
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by X-Ray Rod on 12.05.2012 at 03:19
Oh man I'm so calling you Taco Bell from now on. Fucking hysterical.

If I didn't like my Pallbearer title so much I'd change it to Taco Bell...
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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12.05.2012 - 03:21
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 03:19
M'k, i should have known i was wasting my time "hating" a hater. Bring "everyone else" as support, but you know, just cause it's common doesn't make it normal. Go on wasting your time too, then. I know i'm stopping here. Cheers!

Peace!
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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12.05.2012 - 03:35
Doc G.
Full Grown Hoser
Staff
Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 03:08

Hey, Taco Bell, slow down. Just cause you have a bad stomach doesn't mean the last thing you ate was crap. Maybe you can't tell what was good from what was bad anymore because you've indulged in way too much tasteless stuff. You could show some respect, a lot of what you're saying is uncalled for; oh and you should remember that it's always a matter of taste, the fact that you were unable to digest the more recent releases doesn't mean that the artist has lost his creativity. Btw, Bellus and especially Fallen are exquisite, in my ears at least. Before or after prison, that's quite irrelevant when it comes to music. Look at yourself, taking time to review something you dislike, rather than something you could really say interesting things about. I don't even give a flying shit whether the album is good or not, but your attitude towards it...it stinks just as much as shit does, after indigestion. Too old, too fucking cold, sugar. (please don't take it personally, i have nothing against you, just thought you could use a heads up on the fact that you are making a fool of yourself with such a "review", but hey, what can i say, it's a free world, or at least we are taught to believe so) Take care now.

Speaking from experience, and I'm not sure if Troy looks at it the same way I do, but all the tasteless stuff us reviewers have to indulge in on a regular basis tends to make that line between good and bad music more pronounced.
----
"I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck."
- George Carlin
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12.05.2012 - 03:38
RavenKing
Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 03:08

Hey, Taco Bell, slow down. Just cause you have a bad stomach doesn't mean the last thing you ate was crap. Maybe you can't tell what was good from what was bad anymore because you've indulged in way too much tasteless stuff. You could show some respect, a lot of what you're saying is uncalled for; oh and you should remember that it's always a matter of taste, the fact that you were unable to digest the more recent releases doesn't mean that the artist has lost his creativity. Btw, Bellus and especially Fallen are exquisite, in my ears at least. Before or after prison, that's quite irrelevant when it comes to music. Look at yourself, taking time to review something you dislike, rather than something you could really say interesting things about. I don't even give a flying shit whether the album is good or not, but your attitude towards it...it stinks just as much as shit does, after indigestion. Too old, too fucking cold, sugar. (please don't take it personally, i have nothing against you, just thought you could use a heads up on the fact that you are making a fool of yourself with such a "review", but hey, what can i say, it's a free world, or at least we are taught to believe so) Take care now.

There's no need to take criticism at an album or a band in a personal way, like you seem to do.
Also, negative opinions can be expressed as well as positive ones.

I can see that you like the new Burzum albums. It's your own right. As it is the right for those who dislike them to dislike.
If you disagree with an opinion, there's no need for personal attacks. Just ignore them.
What really matters to us, when it comes to music, is our own opinion and appreciation. Other people can think whatever they want. Am I right?

I mean, there's no need to get angry. And, basically, a review is for the most part the personal opinion of the reviewer.
----
They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink
They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end
But everybody's only looking out for themselves
And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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12.05.2012 - 03:51
Otravia
Written by RavenKing on 12.05.2012 at 03:38


There's no need to take criticism at an album or a band in a personal way, like you seem to do.
Also, negative opinions can be expressed as well as positive ones.

I can see that you like the new Burzum albums. It's your own right. As it is the right for those who dislike them to dislike.
If you disagree with an opinion, there's no need for personal attacks. Just ignore them.
What really matters to us, when it comes to music, is our own opinion and appreciation. Other people can think whatever they want. Am I right?

I mean, there's no need to get angry. And, basically, a review is for the most part the personal opinion of the reviewer.

Didn't get angry, didn't take it personally, expressed MY negative opinions, as well as my positive ones. You are right, people can think what they want, it's not gonna put a stop on Earth's rotation. I respect personal tastes. No personal attacks involved, as i told Troy. It was just strange that his shit lacked consistency, after pigging out on fast food. I'm joking now, i'm sure he can digest that, just as well as calling him Taco. He's a big boy, so am i. Or girl. Whatever. Take it with a grain of salt, my comment was just as satyric as his, just seemed more serious than it was meant, but look for clues in my text and you will see it. I'm far from angry, sitting writing with a smile on my face.
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12.05.2012 - 03:57
RavenKing
Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 03:51

Didn't get angry, didn't take it personally, expressed MY negative opinions, as well as my positive ones. You are right, people can think what they want, it's not gonna put a stop on Earth's rotation. I respect personal tastes. No personal attacks involved, as i told Troy. It was just strange that his shit lacked consistency, after pigging out on fast food. I'm joking now, i'm sure he can digest that, just as well as calling him Taco. He's a big boy, so am i. Or girl. Whatever. Take it with a grain of salt, my comment was just as satyric as his, just seemed more serious than it was meant, but look for clues in my text and you will see it. I'm far from angry, sitting writing with a smile on my face.

I don't know you. I think it's the first time I see you around.
I thought you were angry. Glad to know you are not. Sorry for my mistake.

By the way, you must know that Troy likes to make lots of jokes and write funny lines. It's his own style. We must not take it too literally.
----
They shake your hand and they smile and they buy you a drink
They say we'll be your friends we'll stick with you till the end
But everybody's only looking out for themselves
And you say who can you trust I'll tell you nobody
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12.05.2012 - 03:58
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Plus... It's way pass bedtime, nobody is serious at this hour.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

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12.05.2012 - 04:00
Rating: 5
Boxcar Willy
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Grab a snack boys, this is going to be fun
----
14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum

DESTROY DRUM TRIGGERS
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12.05.2012 - 04:01
Otravia
Written by Doc G. on 12.05.2012 at 03:35


Speaking from experience, and I'm not sure if Troy looks at it the same way I do, but all the tasteless stuff us reviewers have to indulge in on a regular basis tends to make that line between good and bad music more pronounced.

Ok, but "you, reviewers" don't necessarily listen or know more about music than "us listeners", and by that i'm not trying to suggest that i think i know better than you. It all strips down to a matter of taste anyhow. Maybe i shouldn't have written on impulse, but i felt it was funny to make allusions to food and digestion, you see. That was fun, let's never do it again.
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12.05.2012 - 04:04
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
No drama here... just some misunderstandings.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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12.05.2012 - 04:05
Otravia
Written by RavenKing on 12.05.2012 at 03:57


I don't know you. I think it's the first time I see you around.
I thought you were angry. Glad to know you are not. Sorry for my mistake.

By the way, you must know that Troy likes to make lots of jokes and write funny lines. It's his own style. We must not take it too literally.

Cool, no problem, i don't even take myself seriously. I've been around for a few years now, just minding my own business and hardly ever reading reviews, hehe, so no, i was unaware of his style i guess. But it's good that you get i wasn't trying to be aggressive.
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12.05.2012 - 04:09
Rating: 5
Boxcar Willy
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Taco Bell


I'm still laughing from that haha.
----
14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum

DESTROY DRUM TRIGGERS
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12.05.2012 - 04:11
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 04:01

Ok, but "you, reviewers" don't necessarily listen or know more about music than "us listeners"
It all strips down to a matter of taste anyhow.

Have we* said otherwise? Reviews are just that, opinions.



* = (well, I don't review nearly as much as this guys)
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

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12.05.2012 - 04:11
Otravia
Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.05.2012 at 04:04

No drama here... just some misunderstandings.

Exactly, plus, you shouldn't eat so much that the food is too hard to shit out. Oh, and be aware of hemorrhoids.
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12.05.2012 - 04:25
Alakazam
spendin' cheese
----
I may not have the largest collection but I certainly have the absolute best

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12.05.2012 - 04:27
Otravia
Written by X-Ray Rod on 12.05.2012 at 04:11

Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 04:01

Ok, but "you, reviewers" don't necessarily listen or know more about music than "us listeners"
It all strips down to a matter of taste anyhow.

Have we* said otherwise? Reviews are just that, opinions.



* = (well, I don't review nearly as much as this guys)

Well, maybe i'm judging wrong, but it felt a bit like Doc thinks that, as a reviewer, it's a lot easier to tell the difference between good and bad music
Written by Doc G. on 12.05.2012 at 03:35


Speaking from experience ... all the tasteless stuff us reviewers have to indulge in on a regular basis tends to make that line between good and bad music more pronounced.

, whereas my meaning was that it might be wrong to say good and bad, rather than "what i like" and "what i dislike". Anyhow, to conclude the whole purpose of my first comment, i'd rather listen 100 times to something that i think is good, than even giving a spit on something i think sucks ass. Don't you think?
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12.05.2012 - 04:40
Doc G.
Full Grown Hoser
Staff
Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 04:27

Well, maybe i'm judging wrong, but it felt a bit like Doc thinks that, as a reviewer, it's a lot easier to tell the difference between good and bad music
Written by Doc G. on 12.05.2012 at 03:35


Speaking from experience ... all the tasteless stuff us reviewers have to indulge in on a regular basis tends to make that line between good and bad music more pronounced.

, whereas my meaning was that it might be wrong to say good and bad, rather than "what i like" and "what i dislike". Anyhow, to conclude the whole purpose of my first comment, i'd rather listen 100 times to something that i think is good, than even giving a spit on something i think sucks ass. Don't you think?

It was merely a direct response to this:
Quote:
Maybe you can't tell what was good from what was bad anymore because you've indulged in way too much tasteless stuff.

Being able to tell the difference between good and bad music easier is obviously an absurd assumption. As stated before, it's opinions. I was merely trying to state that a lot of reviewers are not as easily impressed due to the amount of music we have to sift through in order to create content for publication.

Which brings me to this:
Quote:
Ok, but "you, reviewers" don't necessarily listen or know more about music than "us listeners"

Here's where I'll disagree. Obviously there is plenty of exceptions, but an active reviewer is probably going to go through a lot more music on a regular basis than the average casual listener. Not out of choice, but merely because it's part of the job. This doesn't necessarily make us more knowledgeable in music, but the constant barrage of new music we go through on a regular basis might give us a wider scope, which is why some of us might be less impressed with certain bands.
----
"I got a lot of really good ideas, problem is, most of them suck."
- George Carlin
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12.05.2012 - 04:40
X-Ray Rod
Skandino
Staff
Damn, Luke ninja'd me. Fuck my previous post.
----
Written by BloodTears on 19.08.2011 at 18:29
Like you could kiss my ass

Written by Milena on 20.06.2012 at 10:49
Rod, let me love you.

Loading...
12.05.2012 - 04:48
Otravia
Written by Doc G. on 12.05.2012 at 04:40

Written by Otravia on 12.05.2012 at 04:27

Well, maybe i'm judging wrong, but it felt a bit like Doc thinks that, as a reviewer, it's a lot easier to tell the difference between good and bad music
Written by Doc G. on 12.05.2012 at 03:35


Speaking from experience ... all the tasteless stuff us reviewers have to indulge in on a regular basis tends to make that line between good and bad music more pronounced.

, whereas my meaning was that it might be wrong to say good and bad, rather than "what i like" and "what i dislike". Anyhow, to conclude the whole purpose of my first comment, i'd rather listen 100 times to something that i think is good, than even giving a spit on something i think sucks ass. Don't you think?

It was merely a direct response to this:
Quote:
Maybe you can't tell what was good from what was bad anymore because you've indulged in way too much tasteless stuff.

Being able to tell the difference between good and bad music easier is obviously an absurd assumption. As stated before, it's opinions. I was merely trying to state that a lot of reviewers are not as easily impressed due to the amount of music we have to sift through in order to create content for publication.

Which brings me to this:
Quote:
Ok, but "you, reviewers" don't necessarily listen or know more about music than "us listeners"

Here's where I'll disagree. Obviously there is plenty of exceptions, but an active reviewer is probably going to go through a lot more music on a regular basis than the average casual listener. Not out of choice, but merely because it's part of the job. This doesn't necessarily make us more knowledgeable in music, but the constant barrage of new music we go through on a regular basis might give us a wider scope, which is why some of us might be less impressed with certain bands.

Ok, my bad for misinterpreting. I agree with you.
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12.05.2012 - 05:21
BlueMobius
Account deleted
Written by Doc G. on 12.05.2012 at 04:40

Here's where I'll disagree. Obviously there is plenty of exceptions, but an active reviewer is probably going to go through a lot more music on a regular basis than the average casual listener. Not out of choice, but merely because it's part of the job. This doesn't necessarily make us more knowledgeable in music, but the constant barrage of new music we go through on a regular basis might give us a wider scope, which is why some of us might be less impressed with certain bands.

Loading...
12.05.2012 - 05:26
Void Eater
Account deleted
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12.05.2012 - 05:36
Troy Killjoy
perfunctionist
Staff
Written by [user id=111774] on 12.05.2012 at 05:26
This album is dildos.

This album is dildos. I should have made sex toy references dammit.
----
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
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12.05.2012 - 06:39
Rating: 5
Boxcar Willy
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Not to be a dick, but there is a rule about no meme's without actually writing text.

It already bit me in the ass.


Anyway, I'm downloading the album tonight.
----
14:22 - Marcel Hubregtse
I do your mum

DESTROY DRUM TRIGGERS
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12.05.2012 - 08:29
Rating: 6
Cyroth
Actually it started pretty great for me, but after the first three songs I started to wonder where was the difference between them and the enjoyment started to fall rapidly. If it was an EP consisting of 3 songs it wound have been great, in this state it is ok, but maaaaan is it repetitive or what, don't think I ever heard an album so repetitive in the metal genre. I will not give it more listens, one is enough.
----
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12.05.2012 - 10:00
M C Vice
ex-polydactyl
So, to sum up, this album is so bad, Varg should get another 20 years in jail for it?
----
"I'm here to nunchuck and not wear helmets. And I'm all out of helmets."
"I'll fight you on one condition. That you lower your nipples."
" 'Tis a lie! Thy backside is whole and ungobbled, thou ungrateful whelp!"
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12.05.2012 - 10:58
Written by Troy Killjoy on 12.05.2012 at 03:11

everyone else seems to have enjoyed the review, even those who disagreed.

I didn't... I thought it was rather light-weight and childish, with your food/shit metaphor occupying most of it. These "jokey" reviews don't usually stand the test of time, IMO. You will regret them.

The album is not as bad as many seem to imply. It's just a progression from "Belus" and "Fallen", with the only exception of being far more boring and maybe more ambient in places. If you liked the previous two, don't bother with this one. It adds nothing new.
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12.05.2012 - 13:33
Slayer666
>_<

I won't believe the album is that bad until after I've heard it myself.
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