Written by Valentin B on 13.11.2007 at 22:33

Written by Warman on 08.11.2007 at 15:49

Bas Rutten...

i saw his "street fighting self defense system" program, and he's a pretty funny guy and all, but i see he's only been in poor quality movies, are any of them good?

I haven't seen any of his movies, but Bass certainly won't be remembered (so far) for his acting carreer. Instead, he is a recently retired world class mixed martial arts fighter, and comparing his actual fighting skills with anyone else on that list is simply a joke. His movies won't break office box records anytime soon, but he wouldn't have a problem breaking the ribcages of his competitors in this thread. Those are actors. He was a real fighter. End of story...

Chuck Norris all the way!. Here are some trivias about chuck norris:
Once Chuck Norris did a spin kick so fast that his toe traveled through time to the past and killed amelia earhart while she was overflying the pacific ocean.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream car covered with human skulls.
There's no evolution theory , there's just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris let live.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy butter. He does a spin kick to a cow and the butter comes out.

Written by Evil Chip on 10.03.2008 at 21:36

Chuck Norris all the way!. Here are some trivias about chuck norris:
Once Chuck Norris did a spin kick so fast that his toe traveled through time to the past and killed amelia earhart while she was overflying the pacific ocean.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream car covered with human skulls.
There's no evolution theory , there's just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris let live.
Chuck Norris doesn't buy butter. He does a spin kick to a cow and the butter comes out.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

CHUCK NORRIS!!!
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

hehe i like chuck norris...he was kickboxing champion like my stepdad

oh yeh this is funny - The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. heh

just a few more
Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
..
im done here...

Written by Necrogeddon on 25.03.2008 at 14:51

CHUCK NORRIS!!!
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

This is WAY too funny!

Written by [user id=22888] on 25.03.2008 at 19:12

Written by Necrogeddon on 25.03.2008 at 14:51

CHUCK NORRIS!!!
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

This is WAY too funny!

This is great, but my favorite is this one:
Chuck Norris was offered a role of Frodo in LOTR trilogy but he did not accept the role because he thinks that only pussy´s need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelry.

Written by Necrogeddon on 25.03.2008 at 14:51

CHUCK NORRIS!!!
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

i especially loved the one with the recycle bin and with the revolving doors(wtf?)

oh god what a funny poll full of shit )

i woulda said chuck norris but charles bronson actually does good movies. death wish wasnt bad. maybe the fifth one, but thats not the point. chuck norris doesnt do shit nowadays anyway.

Conan the Barbarian for the win!

Actually, that dude PING, from Ong Bak would knee you in the chest and bring a sudden end to your life. Hail ONG BAK GUY...PING!!

Written by LeChron James on 05.07.2008 at 00:36

i woulda said chuck norris but charles bronson actually does good movies. death wish wasnt bad. maybe the fifth one, but thats not the point. chuck norris doesnt do shit nowadays anyway.

well, he's 68 years old, i don't know whose ass is he still able to kick lol

Written by Valentin B on 22.08.2008 at 23:49

Written by LeChron James on 05.07.2008 at 00:36

i woulda said chuck norris but charles bronson actually does good movies. death wish wasnt bad. maybe the fifth one, but thats not the point. chuck norris doesnt do shit nowadays anyway.

well, he's 68 years old, i don't know whose ass is he still able to kick lol

charles bronson, like satan, never ages, only gets more weathered in appearance.

Written by LeChron James on 23.08.2008 at 05:04

Written by Valentin B on 22.08.2008 at 23:49

Written by LeChron James on 05.07.2008 at 00:36

i woulda said chuck norris but charles bronson actually does good movies. death wish wasnt bad. maybe the fifth one, but thats not the point. chuck norris doesnt do shit nowadays anyway.

well, he's 68 years old, i don't know whose ass is he still able to kick lol

charles bronson, like satan, never ages, only gets more weathered in appearance.

you probably meant norris, bronson's been dead for 5 years

Written by Valentin B on 23.08.2008 at 11:41

Written by LeChron James on 23.08.2008 at 05:04

Written by Valentin B on 22.08.2008 at 23:49

Written by LeChron James on 05.07.2008 at 00:36

i woulda said chuck norris but charles bronson actually does good movies. death wish wasnt bad. maybe the fifth one, but thats not the point. chuck norris doesnt do shit nowadays anyway.

well, he's 68 years old, i don't know whose ass is he still able to kick lol

charles bronson, like satan, never ages, only gets more weathered in appearance.

you probably meant norris, bronson's been dead for 5 years

well...in that case...chuck norris could still beat the ass of AHHHNOLD. the governator is really short in person. chuck norris is probably tallish. hopefully at least.

Now I'm leaning towards Bruce Willis. He's really never been in a bad movie, and he can act well, unlike pretty much every selection in the poll.

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker

I still haven't voted, but it's really hard to go against Bruce Lee. He's buried right by where I work!! Chuck Norris is a pussy!!

Edit - Yeah, I'll vote for Bruce Lee. Chuck Norris is such a stupid little vag.

Bruce Lee's physical feats:

# Lee's striking speed from three feet with his hands down by his side reached five hundredths of a second.
# Lee's combat movements were at times too fast to be captured on film at 24fps, so many scenes were shot in 32fps to put Lee in slow motion. Normally martial arts films are sped up.
# In a speed demonstration, Lee could snatch a dime off a person's open palm before they could close it, and leave a penny behind.
# Lee could perform push ups using only his thumbs
# Lee would hold an elevated v-sit position for 30 minutes or longer.
# Lee could throw grains of rice up into the air and then catch them in mid-flight using chopsticks.
# Lee performed one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger
# Lee performed 50 reps of one-arm chin-ups.
# From a standing position, Lee could hold a 125 lb (57 kg) barbell straight out.
# Lee could break wooden boards 6 inches (15 cm) thick.
# Lee performed a side kick while training with James Coburn and broke a 150-lb (68 kg) punching bag
# In a move that has been dubbed "Dragon Flag", Lee could perform leg lifts with only his shoulder blades resting on the edge of a bench and suspend his legs and torso perfectly horizontal midair.
# Lee could thrust his fingers through unopened steel cans of Coca-Cola, at a time before cans were made of the softer aluminum metal.
# Lee could use one finger to leave dramatic indentations on pine wood.

Chuck Norris' physical feats:

uhm, he can read a bible?!?!

Jenna Jammerson, she's great!

lmao!

now really!!!!

it's hard!

steve carrel hue hue

I went with Steven Seagal [other], who has a 7th dan black belt in Aikido (wow!) and, as Remus said, never gets a scratch. I like Jackie Chan's comedy films as well, they are perfect for lazy weekends after lunch. Anyway, I cannot understand how anyone could vote for JC Van Damme, he always gets punched more often than his opponents and his fights seem too artificial.

Arnie -> Not bad, not too good either. I have seen so many films by him that I just don't mind watching them, I cannot say I am either amused or disappointed. "The Sixth Day" was amazing though.
Charles Bronson -> He always depicts a fascist when he does not star in western films, so meh
Bruce Lee -> All hail. But as others have mentioned before, Jet Li is undoubtedly his deserved successor.
Sylvester Stallone -> *boos* He would never pass a doping test. Also, the only Stallone film I like is "Tango & Cash" because of Kurt Russell, not because of him.
Gerard Butler -> meh, "Attila" was quite biased and anti-historical, "300" was... "300" Anyway, I'm sure his career will last for a long time.

For all you Chuck Norris fans, click here to play his pseudo-official videogame! Also, type "Find Chuck Norris" in Google and click "I'm feeling lucky"!

Written by Taktsekte on 05.09.2008 at 17:46

Sylvester Stallone -> *boos* He would never pass a doping test. Also, the only Stallone film I like is "Tango & Cash" because of Kurt Russell, not because of him.

he was pretty brutal in Rambo IV(which he also directed, and he did a great job, so much gore, he didn't sugarcoat ANYTHING, no cuteness, no romance, the action started when you least expected it, just a plain old fucking fashioned badass action movie). like a reviewer said, "Rated R for Rambo"

Chuck Norris in ''Texas Ranger''...the best, man hehe...Ranger Walker kick ass

Fuck all those guys. No-one beats Cüneyt Arkin, he has been featured in about 300 Turkish movies, playing also the leading role in Turkish Rambo, has saved America from black ninjas (the head of NYPD personally asked him to help), as been Turkish James Bond, knows telekinesis and is definitely the most charismatic man ever. Check out the clip and see for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzaWJTOlca4



There's this another actor whose name I unfortunately don't remember but he is the star in my favorite action scene. The last line is so hilarious that I even laugh thinking about it. Check this out also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5fSM2wGOwg

Written by John Barleycorn on 05.09.2008 at 23:27

There's this another actor whose name I unfortunately don't remember but he is the star in my favorite action scene. The last line is so hilarious that I even laugh thinking about it. Check this out also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5fSM2wGOwg

ahahha, that scene makes Arnie's movie Last Action Hero look dramatic and serious

"what a useless guy..."<<<<

What's with Chuck Norris? lol.. He's not even an actor. Sure he can do some kicks (hardly, but he can) but he's like the worst actor I've ever seen lol
I don't remember where my vote went.. probably Jackie Chan.

You guys know chuck norris's e-mail address?

it's yahoo@chucknorris.com

Written by Dangerboner on 23.08.2008 at 11:52

Chuck Norris' physical feats:

uhm, he can read a bible?!?!

hahahah, i mean, i don't know what he can do, but i'm pretty sure he can't do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XlaB8o5L-4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXtrk3GgG8A&feature=related

jackie chan wins as far as acting goes(though he in his prime wouldn't stand a chance against bruce lee)

Edward Nortton for me.

CLINT EASTWOOD