The County Medical Examiners - Olidous Operettas lyrics
Tracks 01. Casper's Dictum
02. Morgagnic Anatomics 03. Necrotic Apologues 04. Blunt Force Flight 05. The Virchow Postmortem Procedure 06. Expeditious Evisceratory Mishap 07. Maturating Decompositional Gas 08. Kaleidoscopic Malacia 01. Casper's Dictum
Banished from the medical community
One brilliant German forensic pathologist Johann Casper, his nascent methods on The rate of rot made him a cunning medico-criminalist The heady chemical stench of decay set him free To discover putrefaction patterns others failed to see Internal and external bacteria coalesced And illustrated their wisdom in a semi-liquid mess Professor of Forensic Pathology Disgraced by Berlin doctors Misunderstood forensic genius Nineteenth century medicine Rejected forensics and outlawed him Amonst reeking gassy corpses Casper hatched his dark science Medical examiners now unite Bring Casper's Dictum to scientific light Casper's Dictum: "A week in air-two weeks in water Two weeks in water-eight weeks in ground!" Ballooning stiffs and liquescent corpses Bursting models for Casper's Dictum Streptococci and Clostridium Welchii Battle for post mortem bacterial supremacy Autolytic conversion hosts and breeds While putrefactive ooze squirts from the seams Casper draped in a rotten viscera Popping bleb and bullae sebum Navigating the semi-fluid black mess Charting decay for his seminal dictum He noticed that corpses found submerged Decay half as fast as those uninterred Exhumed carcasses revealed to him Four times less rot than those in the swim He penned a text in 1850 Called Forensic Dissection (naturally) His dictum was touted a medicolegal success Even Rudolf Virchow was begrudgingly impressed Casper's Dictum: "A week in air-two weeks in water Two weeks in water-eight weeks in ground!" Ballooning stiffs and liquescent corpses Bursting models for Casper's Dictum Sulphemethaemoglobin stains, putridity marbles Blood is haemolysed The unyielding hot logic of decay persists Casper is immortalized Before predation can strip the corpse clean Casper graces the grisly crime scene From waterlogged stiffs soughing their flesh To exhumed partially skeletonized mulch His ghastly rule of thumb is well known From recently deceased to sun-bleached bone Forensics and anatomy are hideously wed Casper's science of the dead 02. Morgagnic Anatomics
Repulsive slab of pasty meat
Torqued wide with craftsman's pride Revealing a slick tub of grume I slide my arms deftly inside This husk once sentient Now on the cusp of pestilence In science's name I rent A grisly educational end Finding and excising anatomy Mustering my knowledge of postmortem history Instructed and guided by The infamous anatomist-Giovanni Morgagni I find the liver lobed In cirrhotic hold I scrape arterial plaque Flay pericardial sacs Disease invariably ends with me I cave it from the corpse for further study Human shelf life proved once again The tax of living corrupts unerringly Necrolytic bubbling, chymic innards splash Soupy rot sprays from gastic mush Piping putrefaction makes gruel of its host Fogged moisture beads my dripping face guard Grotesque anatomy Students of disease Organic debris Lessons from Morgagni Opened stiffs Olidious whiffs Putrefaction pours Spilling gore Hunting down diseases, divining macabre truth Sickened innards coo, squirting enzymic clues Tracking pathogenic progress to its end Retching from the answers found therin Organs are sorted, labeled, and weighed Adroitly butchering carcasses, for which I'm well paid To anatomic manuals, I steadfastly abide It's the only method to navigate while inside The amazing human machine Inside out is rarely seen I've patiently toiled and trained To make it my stock and trade 03. Necrotic Apologues
Disgusting apologues teach grisly parables
Didactic explorations of putrefying stiffs Decay: a fact of nature most allegorical The fetid realizations quickly make me sick Pathology turned philosophy Seminar and necropsy Stippled flesh fouled with soot spell a gruesome clue Spatter patterns ink confessions sanguinely penned Pieces found in garbage sacs point to sober truths: Life is terminal and contritely spent Bloated sage on my table Spins a rancid, age-old fable Slime and rot Pock and clot Corpse gives in To pathogens Hack the mess Quite distressed The face below Is my own Pathology-warding litany Autopsy-tragic finale (Solo: perennial discourse in petrefaction) The splattered carcass stagnates It seeps slick purge onto the floor It heralds our own fates Destinies described in gore Abraded rope compression marks underline the fact Mangled corpses offer postmortem viewpoints Ragged stab wounds carve futile warnings Jutting knife hilts like dripping exclamation points Vomitous epiphany Emeritus, so reeking Bilious slag Blood-soaked slab Wasting host Hot compost To my chagrin Gross Doctrines Consume my thoughts Amidst the rot Pathology-warding litany Autopsy-tragic finale 04. Blunt Force Flight
The aftermath of blunt force trauma crumpled in the morgue
Crushed decedents pupled to rags, skin-wrapped splintered bones Splaying limbs bruised and rent, finding countless dents Reenacting comic flights, the graceless cause of death Pureed entrails porridge Organs jumbled raw New tenant in cold storage Brains pitched liquescent Teeth ground in maw Whole carcass quite putrescent Bodies struck by vehicles, impact sending flight Whiplash limbs twist midair, spinning from the plight Subjects fallen from great heights, hemorrhage on the ground Long bones jutting through torn skin, leaking pasty mound Blunt force trauma injury pulverizes subjects instantly Postmortem X-ray imagery tells the grisly tale Dislocating joint from bone, the corpse makes crepitating moans I dissect but quickly sew, completely overwhelmed Frame cracks and rifts Decedent lifts Pirouette through the air As tendons tear Tubs of sickly yellow fat spilled from dermal splits Carcass weighing ten less pounds from missing crime scene bits Scalp and skin dislodged and sloughing, draped in wrinled pules The wealth of trauma adds new pages to my growing file Slackened jaw unpinned Hinges open wide Forms a ghastly grin Eyes protruding pink Looking quite surprised They deflate and sink Puzzles reassembled Not one truly resembles Humanity at all (The stuff is an utter waste A shambles of a closed-casket case) Final flight recorded on the gragile human body A trip so terminal as to be without ignominy Evidence presented in crushed bits of scrap Flailing jellied form, a boneless pummeled sack Skein of tangled viscera wind fractured discs of vertebra Life-succinet ephemera: It's snugged uncermoniously Road debris embedded in the chalky, scraped riven skin Innards now revolt within and rupture sloshing froth Frame cracks and rifts Decedent lifts Pirouette through the air As tendons tear 05. The Virchow Postmortem Procedure
Virchows method is the heart of prosector life
Pen-gripped scalpels and palm-gripped section knives 19th century dissection methods still relevant today Systematic journeys of corpses rudely flayed Pathological anatomy married with forensics Notating viscera in situ: a concept then eccentric Opening carcasses in a highly ordered Virchow Guide my hand Removing jellied organs from crumbling husks of waste Putrefaction inspires haste as tissues whisk to paste Following the method that Virchow gave to us Before the dead is laid to rest, we mire through the sickening pus Tearing open carcasses, a frenzied labored job I weigh the heart then section liver It comes away with repugnant wet pop (Solo: heroic tripe dimidiation and disassembly) Dissecting entire organ systems at once A chain of glistening innards to expertly trounce Thoracic chamber-a cave of bony hazards Abdominal system-decrepit, stinking cupboard Tearing my gloves on ragged costal arches I manhandle the kidneys and they split with tiny notches I drop my bread knife in the gassy, reeking cess Suction from the petrefaction yanks my glove into the mess Split the trunk Right down its length Rudolph Virchow Give me strength Revolting belching stiffs reduced to collapsed slab Disassembled, emptied out, and stuffed in biohazard bags Rudolph Virchow Lives in these halls The morgue, his home His disciples-all We carve and hack Seeking death We steadfast priests Of The Last Breath Done my time In ME school The chow's a joke The work is crual My tade is sick But I'm compelled Rudolph Virchow Taught me well 06. Expeditious Evisceratory Mishap
Roughly eviscerating the festering carcass
Blood-mprints of innards splashed on my bib While ripping organs from their inanimate host I puncture my hand on a broken rib Bone splinters gouge-spurt blood everywhere Corpse wounds prosector-I seek medical care Forensic evidence compromised-cruor and blood wed Hazards of necropsy-Commingling with the dead (Solo: disastrous cadaveric misadventure) The fenzied tempo of the dissection increases I deign to sustain nicks, cuts, and scrapes Two hours per autopsy, three procedures a day My workload demands such a breakneck pace Latex rubber gloves-a false security Contamination stings-the kiss of virulency Maggot-riddled carcass-den of putrefaction Bisected rancid corpse-tub of hopping infection 07. Maturating Decompositional Gas
The fetid menage of wafting flatus
Singe my palate with nauseating rot This stale concotion of postmortem brew Inundate nasal passages with snot Grotesque reaction Huff the carcass Odiferous putrefaction Aurborne bacteria lodge in my sinuses Tickle the back of my throat with decay Violently retching, coughing up phlegm Laced with acrid cadaveric waste Reddened eyes sore from maturating odor Repugnant air currents of flavor so vile The sour fetor assualts my taste buds I regurgitate vitriolic bile Dank perfume Necrotic gas Reeking plumes Medical examiners scramble for air Menthol cream mustaches stave off the stench Gusts of mephitis breach ventilation hoods The musty rank tang makes my stomach lurch Sniff the stiff Effusing mold Corrosive whiff The fog of dissection Post mortem haze Tear-inducing gas Leave me in a daze (Solo: snorting necrotic funk, high on the choking musk) A retching chorus scores the morgue Carcass is swollen with bactericidal activity Eructing its final funeral dirge Sputtering the crescendo of its redolent symphony Sickening zephyrs Bouquet of stink Pungent resins Weeping meat expels a foul fragrance Baptizing us in a spicy caress The cadaver belly, distended and bloated Collapses into a burping, bubbling mess Carrion vapor seeps from necrotic tissue Effervescing with puddles of cocktailed juice It eddies and swirls, chirns and foams Before scaping down the drainage sluice Noxious chemical hazard Reeking human offal Miasma so rancid and caustic Virulent murk most awful Stagnant decedent a jellied clump Organic refuse heap host to rot Pathological rebellion of bacteria Vitiates the viscera refusing to stop 08. Kaleidoscopic Malacia
Autolysis blanches tissues kaleidoscopic hues
Healthy pinks, in death, rot to blacks and decayed blues Putrefaction bruises the innards as they slough A cadaveric soup bowl filled with semi-liquid crust Foul pyarthrosis Shallow bloody pool Bubbling gassy bog Shredded organ gruel Festering organs Cellular mush Colors so revolting Reeking rainbows that gush Vascular tendrils whip decomp-aerosol Purple clouds of gore mist my mask Autodigestion swirls the organ mud-broth Rivers of tincture in which I splash Rank viscera bursting with colors Splashing a palate for obscene week-old stink Malacia mixes, new colors are born They dilute when I spray them down the sink Malacia mires Blossoms of gore Rotting hues Paint the morgue Death paints a picture On cadaveric canvas Spoiling organic matter Paint a life so tenebrous (Solo: Abstract Expressionaism with liquescent organ dye) Organs degrade to chunky necrotic paste Blues, reds, and blacks mix to murky, runny grays Kaleidoscopic hues bruise the viscera I take It's shocking to witness all the colors they make Hot, frothy tissue Bioplasm unglued Whimsically colored Patho-grime pools Corroded innards loose cohesion Necrotic gastrointestinal wreck Putrefied ecorche is leaking Impressionist gallery so grotesque Cadaveric walls whisk colorless Bacteria stain the slop as they breed Soft tissue melts with autodigestion The carcass in final entropy Cellular scramble Fetid organ pap Obnoxious pulp Pastel-necrotic scrap Death paints a picture On cadaveric canvas Spoiling organic matter Paint a life so tenebrous |