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Couch Slut - You Could Do It Tonight lyrics



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01. Couch Slut Lewis

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
I was new to the road, played my pretty guitar
For anyone who would listen
A girl on her back looks to be asleep
Her clothes were torn, gashes up her legs and thighs
Deep

I helped her off the couch
Asked her her name
If she’s OK
“Do you know them?
Do you?”

She said “Some guy raped me in my dumb car last week
Who cares who they are?
I was raped last week in my car
Who gives a fuck who they are?”

I took my guitar
And got the shit out of there
I think about her still
The blood down her legs and tears in her eyes
I’m coming home, Mom
But I’m sad for her still
She’s stuck in there still
The spit and handprints all down her neck
She looked up at me
And god was she pissed

02. Ode To Jimbo

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
I’m messy
Just have a few
I’m so drunk
They said “Fuck you”

I stay too late
‘Cuz I’m a freak
Down in the shower
They said “I love you”

You always know when it’s time to leave
I know all the best places to heave

Buried
Buried
Good night
Spilled my beer in the backseat of the car
I’m dropped off now
But I’ll barely make it inside

03. Wilkinson’s Sword

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
Curse that needle
Safety pin
Mutilated
Hideous skin

Now it’s burning
More than my mind
A violated
Frankenstein

Now I wanna see inside and be adored
By Wilkinson’s Sword

I’m at the doctor, I’m 16 years old
I don’t know what came over me
I’m rooting through all of the supply cabinets
The label read “Disposable Scalpels”
Like I had found a rare kind of gemstone
Or when I first started cutting myself at church
A secret thing I had all to myself

I loved those dumb miniature scalpels
And took them in my handbag and took ‘em everywhere I gone
Is it so wrong
To want a little warmth from your own wet red blanket?

04. Donkey

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
Here’s what happened when my friends and I got fired from the
haunted waterpark

Joe and Lindsey dressed up like zombies
“Get the fuck out”
That’s what he sounded like back in those days
Cuz he did drugs
The owner is chasing us now
Cuz we stole things
We get out of there by running fast
Back at their place we took drugs and decided to make a
stop-motion animation film

It was about this doll
And she’s having sex with this other doll
But it starts to not go so well
So she’s cutting herself with razor blades

And we’re like “We need blood for this”
So we’re pricking ourselves with needles
Getting only little droplets
But it’s not nearly enough

Joe gets up and disappears into the corner of the basement
Lindsey and I are quietly working on our shots
The man comes back to the center of the room and he says
“I’ve got the blood”
Lindsey runs upstairs immediately now
Screaming, crying
The man has sawed his arm to the bone
And he is bleeding all over the place

So the next day I’m going to see my friend Greg in Williamsport,
who killed himself shortly after this, and I go out to my car
and I notice my trunk has a dent in it. And I’m like “Hm, that’s
weird. That wasn’t here yesterday.” Like, broken into. So I open
my trunk and the bloody dolls are in the trunk of the car
because I guess Joe had walked over there in the night with his
fucked up arm and bled all over these dolls and broke into my
car and left the dolls in the trunk. So I’m driving up to
Williamsport and this man calls me on the phone and he’s like
“So Lindsey and I broke up” and I’m like “Uhh obviously” which
was also weird because they were both crazy and they were
together for I don’t know, 12 years, like since they were kids.
And he’s like “And I told her that I’m in love with you” and I’m
like “Joe, I’m not doing this right now” and he’s like “So I got
kicked out of the house” and I’m like “OK, well I’m driving
somewhere and I can’t be on the phone” and he’s like “Well, I
decided that I would invite you to live in my grandfather’s shed
in Nazareth” and I’m like “Joe, are you out of your fucking
mind? I’m not gonna live in a shed in your grandfather’s yard in
Nazareth” and then he’s like “Well if you don’t wanna do that,
we can live under this bridge in Newport.”

05. Presidential Welcome

Music & lyrics by Couch Slut
I’d like to welcome you
To the B side
Of Couch Slut’s fourth album
And to advise you
To crank it
Crank it up!

You know, I wasn’t always President Of The B-side
I used to be a set of words
Sitting in a dusty desk
Waiting
One day
To be rescued
And sung
By a professional

I have failed

06. Energy Crystals For Healing

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
Is it a silver taste?
No, it’s copper
There’s thick hairs inside my legs
They do not belong to me

There, two sisters
And three more, or maybe five, young men
They each taste like silver
A crushed cock in a tiny wire cage
Falling deep for Lucifer
Go, follow the empty head
There, two sisters
And three more, or maybe five, young men

They each taste like silver
And cheap metal from a can

I told her yes in the parking lot
I told her yes once inside
Have you ever seen a cock stuffed inside a tiny wire cage?
It’s a taste of some cheap metal
And shit pulled out from a can

07. Downhill Racer

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
Dorothy’s reprieve
Into that stinking bed she ran
Slither out from dress
Sweet for what’s inside the bride

I can’t sleep at night
Or sleep in daylight
My walls build moisture
Enough to drown

I watch the water where he went down

My leg’s infected
From all these scratches

08. Laughing And Crying

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
I was preparing for what already happened and when it happened I
was well rehearsed

They had my key
My key to my house

Quiet as a mouse
Lips over teeth
Fingers over mouths

Marching us down the stairs
I remember the eyes
All tied up like Christmas gifts

Bad dawn
Too upsetting to see

I scared myself when I caught myself laughing
No sleep feeling, like when the Australian demanded to be
hospitalized

All in all, I ran from something else, but something else went
there instead
In the uncanny repetitions we’ll be headed that way once again

09. The Weaversville Home For Boys

Music by Couch Slut
Lyrics by Megan Osztrosits
The Weaversville Home For Boys was a juvenile detention facility
Down a dark, winding road
Red brick house
Tall barbed wire fence
Amidst cornfields and forests

The building’s still there
Lurking
Abandoned

Now these were the worst boys you have ever seen
Boys who killed their parents
Boys who raped their siblings
The kind of boys who under no circumstances are to be let out

Back in school a man came to speak to us about the Weaversville
Home For Boys

And he told us what happened one night
When three boys got out
They attacked a guard
And took his gun
And they went around the place
Killing everyone
They rode off into the night
And they were never found

The Home was shut down after and the airport bought out all the
land

Long after that fateful night
My girlfriends and I were getting high
In an abandoned house
Nearby
We heard a noise
And when we went to go check out what it was
We heard the most horrible screaming
And we ran the fuck back to my friend’s car
And peeled away
Heading toward the S-curves of pitch black Weaversville Road

We smoked a blunt
And blasted college radio
And thought about how best to spend our evening
But after the last of the sharp turns
We saw the dim glow of taillights

A disabled sedan was pulled over
And we saw three men standing there
Yo Ben, should we see if they need help or something?
As our car pulled up to theirs
Each of the three men began laughing
Mouths full of perfect white teeth that shined like headlights
They tilted their heads back
And they howled into the nothingness of the empty sky

You wanna hear something really scary?
One of them was the guy that came to our school
And I don’t think he ever worked for the Allentown State
Hospital System