After Forever - Invisible Circles lyrics
Tracks 01. Childhood In Minor
02. Beautiful Emptiness 03. Between Love And Fire 04. Sins Of Idealism 05. Eccentric 06. Digital Deceit 07. Through Square Eyes 08. Blind Pain 09. Two Sides 10. Victim Of Choices 11. Reflections 12. Life's Vortex 01. Childhood In Minor Music by S. Gommans
Instrumental
02. Beautiful Emptiness Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
Child:
You're the worst of all with all your accusations and compunction I can't suffer this duress from someone so deprayed and selfish You embody all that I've been through Without you I am sure I will be loved My existence conforms to your distress Your ambition, the cause of mine A disruption, I'm nothing, even less Misfortunes never come singly, and I was there to stay You don't allow me a single place, nor any love into your lives An unperceived, annoying presence you'd rather ignore But in my life you know you'll leave a beautiful emptiness Where you used to be Impotent screams will turn into the love of silence My liberation, then silence, will be perfect and pure It's all in my dreams; I'll remove you and all our mutual disgust In my dreams, I solve the problem by removing it My wish is to see you grovel like you once forced me to! There's no other way, here's my course of life A path without the sickening trace of you I need the beauty of a cleared, pure world This eternal interruption of your rash life can save me! You don't allow me a single place, nor any love into your lives An unperceived, annoying presence you'd rather ignore But in my life you know you'll leave a beautiful emptiness It's sad to feel you don't believe in love It's sad that you're so cold, and I'll be the same if you keep on poisoning my life Drowning in self-sacrificing visions When you're gone, then we will all be released It's sad; my life has been like hell so far It's sad that you're the cause And I'll be cured in this beautiful, empty world Floating, floating away with your perilous visions and hate When you're gone, silence will fill up the emptiness When you're gone, we all will be released In my dreams I shall rinse my body and soul My wish; the accomplishment lies here before me in my hands I will be released from your accusing eyes and torrents of verbal abuse You'll know the causes are your own mistakes while life flows out of you and exempts me forever! 03. Between Love And Fire Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Mother) Here I am, the future is mine
(Father) And mine as well, we'll stand at the top of a prosperous society (Mother) Our dreams can become reality (Both) I am in charge of life's great circle I control my path of wealth (Parents) Ambitions high, burning The flames burn deep down in our souls To be known for efficiency and passion (Mother) Seperate goals but fire shared (Father) We both need our professions Do what you want but I'll never give up mine (Mother) Oh I can think, I can work, I don't need your support Our love is pale, but it's not in my way to share our lives, our fire (Father) I shall become a man of distinction We can share our lives, our fire (Parents) Ambitions high, burning The flames burn deep down in our souls To be known for efficiency and passion Ambitions, dreams, they're burning The flames burn deeper towards our goals, our needs (Parents) Suddenly, we have been careless A new life, a new dimension It disturbs our solid future. It puts out the fire we both need It's a choice between the passion, or the love that can be saved now See the child here as a saviour. Choose for love and let this life begin (Father) We have been careless but you have provoked it Your weak search for more love between us, a blind emotion Should I believe that this new life can save us, a saviour, a prodigy, so choose for love and let this life begin Spoken interlude: (Father) Look, we have to consider this carefully, right? We never really thought about having a baby. (Mother) I know we never thought about it before, but I think we have to find a way to keep this baby. There's more to life than just having a succesful career! (Father) No! That career is what we've worked for! I haven't got the time to raise a brat! (Mother) But... this baby could bring us together again. And we'll still have time left to do the things we've always wanted. (Father) You think so? If we wanna keep it, would you be able to take care of it and keep your job? (Mother) Well, I think we'll both need to compromise. But if we work together... I mean, we're still young, we can manage it! (Father) Don't pressure me! (Contemplative) See a birth, a saviour, a curse See these lives, they see this as a choice between their life together, between love and fire (Father) With this child we must make choices, it can save us if we want We have a life together, no choice between love and fire (Mother) Feel it, this life in me, moving With this child we must make choices, it can save us if we want Oh, I fear it, the path we take Is this a choice anyway, between love and fire? (Parents) Ambitions high, burning The flames burn deep down in our souls To be known for efficiency and passion Ambitions, dreams, they're burning The flames burn deeper towards our goals, our needs 04. Sins Of Idealism Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Child) Hello father, hello mother;
there is so much I don't get Please don't be mad at me; I will try harder, I'll really do the best I can (Mother) That's not enough You're the cause of my domestic captivity (Child) And I will close my eyes and fantasize of a world that's not so cold (Mother) That's how it will be Suffer the causes of my personal misery I've sacrificed my beauty, my freedom, my dreams, the independent me (Child) Hello father, hello mother; Don't blame me for things I didn't do Yes, I will go now and I'll be silent; please stop your screaming, and love me (Mother) That's all you can see Speak of love while you've ruined what's meant to be (Child) And then I'll close my eyes to fantasize of a world Where I can be free And free to be (Contemplative) Sinner or righteous, the line is so thin Can you condemn it Can you be the one to judge it all Or accuse yourself if the sentence is your life? (Child) Hello father, hello mother; forgive me for standing in your way I just wanted someone who'd hold me and listen, are these illusions, are they (Mother) Only fantasies? Imagine how my life could have been I would still have my beauty, my freedom, my dreams, the independent me (Contemplative) Our course in life is a path we must take alone No one can choose what to do, only you, so the sins we commit are the struggles within There is no judge to decide what is right, what is wrong Tell me, can you live in freedom knowing that your choice hurt someone (Father) Once we had a life and now we have you The saviour of love is a catastrophe I'll leave you both if I must give up my dreams My chances aren't here with you I won't be chained because of this The sins of all, the sinner in me I follow my dreams, you call it blasphemy If my ideals are sins To me they are the strength within Then I shall stay a sinner (Child) I can be free And free to be (Contemplative) Sinner or righteous, the line is so thin Can you condemn it Can you be the one to judge it all Or accuse yourself if the sentence is your life? 05. Eccentric Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
What do they see when they look at me?
Who are they to judge me If they never spoke with me Never looked without laughing Never tried to see, see me I can't believe that it is only me The person to hate The only left out I can't believe how they can be so mean If they could feel the brutal stings of their words And the bitter cold when they laugh Once more I'm running Running away, I must hide Can't take anymore A fight to free me from an endless struggle with life Running, tell me how far should I go If they're all the same This fight I'm fighting my way through I don't really want to be like them The way they behave The way that they live I don't really need someone No people like that Someone in a world with wars and respite A world without the feeling I must be Running Running away, I must hide Can't take anymore A fight to free me from an endless struggle with life Running, tell me how far should I go If they're all the same This fight I'm fighting my way through 06. Digital Deceit Music by L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen Lyrics by F. Jansen
Come enter, here's my world
Closed off from pain and cold Come enter, come inside A secret place of light 'Cause in this world I'm rid of you, you can't get through So here I am and I'm beautiful and all my friends would say the same So here I am; and you cannot deny that I am someone you'd embrace I am the queen; I'm pure and loved by everyone Come enter, here's my code Through the world wide wire you'll know The queen of her own world My story; meet my life So now you see, there is another me Not someone insecure and strange My father's will in here, it doesn't mean a thing And I don't fear his violent rage I am the queen; you know I'm loved by everyone Come enter, here's my code Through the world wide wire you'll know The queen of her own world Stop dreaming and wake up Your silly world is not what's real This world of fake friends and computers, digital deceit This cyber wall (this cyber wall) is built to break out or hold The choice is yours (the choice is yours), will you dream or see what's real? Oh...no, no more Just let me be alone with myself These conflicting thoughts increase my doubts I am the queen, I must be loved This so-called 'wall' is there to protect a life controlled by keys, closed off from pain and cold Digital deceit... digital, digital, digital... 07. Through Square Eyes Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Child) This is the world through square eyes,
I can see fiction like it's real Window to an unknown paradise A paradise where no one sees I wish I saw it all, A paradise where no one knows, all these images for real, the reality It's a seduction, like a dream I can feel pain, I feel the blood Out of your hands but in your minds The fire of the burning fight I wish I saw it all, I feel love as a disease, all these images for real, in my fantasy (Contemplative) Good or evil, right or wrong Find yourself between the dying crowd, the blooded streets How can't this affect a mind How can't this affect a pure, young heart (Child) In my own world it's getting worse It's never good enough for them Learn this, do that, do as we say As if results are all there is It doesn't affect me much, I cannot be more than I am, the screen shows me enough, face reality I can play I'm strong and tough And let them feel who should be blamed Fighting and killing for new lives A way to learn how to survive I can play on and on, it ends up just the same again but my life is not a game, life should be a game (Contemplative) Good or evil, right or wrong Find yourself between the dying crowd, the blooded streets How can't this affect a mind How can't this affect a pure, young heart (Child) Hope is fragile, and all there is to make them see I'm not that bad Hope is the last reason not to flee, not to run away into the tempting square world of fantasy, free me Oh, free me Hate is an impulse Your aversion, my reason (Contemplative) Games, movies, things a child should not see A flash; see, but you won't forget A game; play, play and hear and see, again It marks the heart and spills our youth (Child) I'm in the world of square minds The beauty of a clearer world Fighting a game, its name is life The game of life is hard to fight I've shot my hate today, you'll know the causes when it's too late its embodiment has paid, feel reality The pictures say more than you see Why should I see what you've told me Nothing gets worse, it stays the same The same is killing, anyway I wish I saw it all, so could you please let me escape all these images for real from reality (Contemplative) Good or evil, right or wrong Find yourself between the dying crowd, the blooded streets How can't this affect a mind How can't this affect a pure, young heart? 08. Blind Pain Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Child) Everything keeps getting worse
The terror at home, the dread at school I mustn't count on much support, I'm still locked out; it's up to me, how to face the teasing and the pain Hate, one thing we have in common Play your game Beat me, hurt me A physical release from mental pain Don't make me explode in your way (Contemplative) This is a chain of torture, a line of pain, no other way to show how you feel This is the rebel in her, the torment from him, the absence of help, the mother's care (Child) Rage, it burns all around us Blind pain So abuse is only weakness It feels more like a cry of distress, an act of incapacity Feel the threat Feel the oppressed ambience of having no place to go, no one who'll take care of my salvation (Contemplative) This is a chain of torture, a line of pain, no other way to show how you feel This is the rebel in her, the torment from him, the absence of help, the mother's care (Child) Here comes the final episode of terror and pain, abuse and hope Here comes the fight between us all A fight between a love long gone I'm to blame, but it's their own blind pain Spoken outro: (Mother) Now look where you and your selfish ambitions have gotten us! It's never been worse! You gotta work, work work, come back without even noticing me or that ignorant kid of yours! You only think about yourself. (Father) I only think about myself, it's me again? You self-centered bitch! You're the one complaining all the time, but when that kid freaks out, who's supposed to take care of her, huh?! Besides, it's not my child! Wasn't it ours, our little 'saviour' of a love we never had? A fucking... (Mother) Yeah, there is no 'us' anymore, darling! Ever since she was born and I was left at your apparment raising her, I think about all I ever dreamed of because of 'our' decisions! We both should have made compromises, but the only one who did was me! (Father) Oh, there you go again! You feel awfully sorry for yourself; why don't you take a look at my side of the story for once? (Mother) Ah, yeah sure, 'your side'... well, excuse the fuck out of me for being in your way! A child you never wanted, living in a smaller house than you've ever dreamed of, and all the while I'm getting old and ugly, right? You must really long for somebody young and fresh, or if this means already... (Father) Enough!! Don't you dare accuse me of being unfaithful! That's how you ruined my loyalty; I can't believe I once fell in love with a... (Mother) Oh, neither can I, you bastard! Neither can I! And loyal? I dind't know you're familiar with that word! (Father) There's a lot you don't know, a lot you'll never understand! We've lost contact, baby. (Mother) Oh yeah, really? Well, that doesn't seem to bother you. Why don't you just go on? Go, go! Drift off away on that little island of yours and don't forget to drown on your way to a better life!! (Father) Maybe I will, maybe I will! I'd rather drown than be locked up with such a freaed up bith and a freaky daughter! I can't believe we're still holding a conversation about something so stupid!! (Mother) Fine, go! Just GO!! Drown! I hope it'll be slow and painful! (Father) Shut your fucking mouth! (Mother) Asshole... Asshole! 09. Two Sides Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Child) Somehow everything's getting worse
My fight is just one of their struggles And have I seen it all Oh no, now their hate's reaching the top And guess who's to blame, and guess who's responsible (Parents and child) If pain is our line, The one that connects us in life,should we hold on (Child) I only feel their shame when I'm near Life should be more than this, should be warmer than this Cause there's more grief and pain, oh yes There is more than what I caused, And their eyes reflect things they'll never say out loud (Parents and child) If pain is our line, The one that connects us in life, should we hold on Our dreams, ambitions and passion Our plans for the future,our combined goals A life with status, respect and adoration our wishes and hope destroyed at once Without those things to connect us, a life together is even worse than alone we all need two sides of the story (Contemplative) Two sides, one can become a reflection of the truth, a lie You'll be judging soon Two sides, they both have their emotions, opinions and thoughts on who's to blame on reality, can you tell (Parents and child) If pain is our line The one that connects us in life, should we hold on If pain is our line The one that connects us in life, should we hold on 10. Victim Of Choices Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Grandmother) See my life, the failure, you'll make the same mistakes
a child, marriage, your choices, they're all in your hands (Father) Where were you when I needed you Your interference is not welcome now (Child) I can't believe these words showing feelings that he never had, such a human behaviour did she teach him these feelings of hate (Grandmother) Stop! I want you to listen There is so much at stake the child, victim of choices She could never make (Father) I listened but you never spoke this child is not yours (Child) What are they talking about Her voice full of compassion She's warning of things from the past a victim of choices (Mother) Give her a chance to explain why she's here (Father) She will interfere with all that we are (Mother) Maybe her fear is a sign she's for real (Father) Her fear is too late, she is to blame (Child) Fighting and blaming, they don't know much more It scares and excites me, the past repeats itself (Grandmother) No! We're all victims (Child) I try to feel and understand That their distant past is like my life today It's a circle, a curse I am one of the victims One of their, one of your victims 11. Reflections Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Child) I'm in a spiral of thoughts,
The past, the pain, it all comes back I see, but now I see more, Even feel their side of this tale I realise their faith, No one's to blame, two sides My life's a mirror that no one sees If I could show them my own vision of this world My life's a mirror I need them to see, So they would open up to me and fill up my emptiness I still really try to feel A strange experience to enter the other side I feel there's so much we never said It's all misunderstood, the emotions that we had My life's a mirror that no one sees, If I could show them my own vision of this world My life's a mirror I need them to see [Voice in the back of her head]: Maybe if you would have the guts to open up Maybe the world would do the same Maybe, maybe... You can still be a part of this world, Still be the queen of the ball Not of your own empty paradise Where no one sees the beauty inside Face the world outside my safe shell I must face reality for once I've never felt the passion of a warm life Games, TV, I know they're not real, They're just a substitute (Contemplative) This could mean the breaking point In these three lives The moment of insight That could change their misfortune Let this help be enough to make it Let this be stronger than pain, The ancient wall between love and the comprehension That will lead to the inner forgiveness A reflection outside the circle of your life is all you should seek 12. Life's Vortex Music by S. Gommans/ L. v. Gils/ F. Jansen/ L.v. Gerven/ A. Borgman/ B. Maas Lyrics by F. Jansen
(Child, a mother herself now) My mind is under an attack,
although no one sees My past is pounding in the back of my memories It's always there to poison my mind with all I do Feelings I know so well seem to come back as if nothing's ever changed Fear was one of the reasons to crawl away into a world I lost I know the rules, I play the game but somehow it always stays the same In spite of my will, in spite of my hope, in spite of it all (Contemplative) So for those who believe in this life, spin right on this circle must be round Every turn has its vortex, you'll drown if nobody warns you and shows you another circle of life (Child, a mother herself now) Nothing will change, nothing is done for the victim I am forced to remain Cause these days make you feel, and you are on your own (Contemplative) Study, work hard, marry, reproduce and become the perfect model Can you stand the test of time if life is a vicious circle without the mirror of another path (Contemplative) So for those who believe in this life spin right on the circle must be round Every turn has its vortex, you'll drown if nobody warns you and shows you another circle of life |