there is a pain that comes
from holding on too long
a subtle knife that scrapes the veins

we both know i'm leaving
i'm already gone
even if i'm here today

the line that defines
the shape of our lives
slowly bleeds into gray

the line that divides
this world from my mind
can only lead me away

this ever present terror
of what each day will bring
that i won't find the strength
to live

alive enough to see
just how far away i am
from where i really need to be

things in this world
seem so far away
once again i wonder
where i am

somewhere someone's
speaking
but i cannot hear

and once again it all
falls apart
but still i wait here trying
to find some remnant of myself

my days a dull aching
please tell me what
i'm waiting for

things in this world
have never seems so gray
once again i wonder
what i've become

somewhere something's breaking
this world's so dead
when i cannot feel
what's in my head

one day you will find a letter
words escaping form a drowning man
giving in
losing hope
surrendering
to the hands of time

so hard to see what's leaving you
the youth draining from our eyes

so hard to feel what's killing us
the slow, collapsing of our lives

my hands have lost their substance
they slowly lose all shape before my eyes
always shaking
always thinning
always numb
always fading
in the light of day

four corners, neatly cleaned
bone white clock
counts away
seconds of life

another year
passes away
quietly, carefully
wrapped
in promises of change

how many times must i look back
counting my mistakes
how many empty lives like mine
begin and end each day

slowly moving, shifting shapes
dead memories, wandering
lost
stealing my sleep

i have memories
clouded by sorrow
of a time in life
when blood ran though my veins

but these walls keep closing
suffocating
and now i'm trapped beneath
the weight of my own loss

in the company
of my misery
i gasp for air
only to drown
again

unending waves of memories
life's only gife bestowed to me

regret
every moment marks
a breaking of my heart
and now i'm left alone
with this ghost that i've become
for years i've built
this monument of pain
i must find a way
to never feel again

now in this silence
this silence of my life
empty words
fall
though this sound

like falls dead leaves
i float down this stream
waiting
for the waters
to drown me

why can i never say
what must be said
am i too afraid
that they
will take it all away

now in this silence
i watch as my life
fades away

minutes pass
stretching lines into my past
people breath
in and out right next to me
closing hand
burning thoughts like a photograph

faceless frames of this life
lose all shape and color
and all this time the ground is rising
a broken body can never move on

i can see it clearly
i was never here
i can see it clearly
i've been dead all these years

paper thin
counting marks that stain my skin
lowered eyes
pass the grid of my window screen
tiled floor
just the same as the hours before

[Instrumental]

count the pictures
on the walls

this place, was it always
so empty
was everything the way
i remember

your image is dull and blurred
by the rust of time again
an era has come and gone
and everything that belongs
exists no more

the air i'm breathing
it is changing

one would think
memories are living
but behind these pictures
lies nothing
nothing at all.