See'mon kiddies gather round
Who's your foremost friend in town?
From main to maple the name resounds
Professor Nutbutter
He's the one, the humble one
The Barkley County prodigal son
Here to serve only you, Professor Nutbutter
At old Nutbutter's house of treats
From jellied jams to sacks of sweets
There's creamy and nutatious spreads for all
Chemist, master of entomology the professor for a modest fee
Will cure what ails you, guaranteed Professor Nutbutter
It's alright, don't fear the worm
See'mon kiddies don't be shy
Be youthful til the day you die
The man the myth, the magic of Professor Nutbutter
He's the one the only one the Meeklybville prodigal son
Here to help us with ourselves, Professor Nutbutter
It's alright to fear the worm
[It's all right to fear the worm. The worm, the worm is our friend.
Um, but not all of the properties of the worm can be, uh, fully, fully,
Well, appreciated by the, uh, the human body itself, but, um it's,
It's, it's, it's ok to, to fear the worm. Um, I, myself, have had no,
Uh, problems with the worm but in a certain situation, uh, I would
Feel like, what, what, uh, ramifications, um, could occur? Uh, there's,
There's really no need to, uh, to fear much of anything, you know.
Fear of the, fear of the temptation is a, more, probably, more, more,
Appropriate word in this particular scenario. Um, the, uh, well, It,
Depends on what you want, I suppose. It really depends on, on
What you want]

Mrs. Blaileen
She was a sixth grade teacher
And she controlled the children by using humiliation
The target always seemed to be Donny
He was a bit slower than the others
When he was quite young, his mother died at the kitchen table
While choking on some food

The fashion of the day was bleach and tied Levi's
Donny decided to make some
But he didn't know to rinse them
So he came to school a reekin'
Bleach stench filled the classroom
Mrs. Blaileen began to chastise
She made him feel like an asshole
Two feet small

Oh, what a lonely boy

Don and Ronald
They always stuck together
For they were a bit different than the others
And they were as tight as brothers
Then Ronald moved away, now Steven
He was year or two younger
And he really thought he was something
He liked to harass other children
Or anyone he found out-numbered

Alone, Don walks from fishing
Steven and his friend, they stop him
They took his hat and they taunt him
Pimp-slap him with a newspaper
Don lunged forward with his fish knife
Then ran all the way home weeping
He gave his knife to his father and
Said "I think I hurt Steve"

Oh, what a lonely boy

Mrs. Blaileen
She was a sixth grade teacher
And she controlled the children by using humiliation
The target always seemed to be Donny
He's a bit slower than the others
When he was quite young, his mother died at the kitchen table
While choking on some food

The fashion of the day was bleach and tied Levi's
Donny decided to make some
But he didn't know to rinse them
So he came to school a reekin'
Bleach stench filled the classroom
Mrs. Blaileen began to chastise
She made him feel like an asshole
Two feet small

Oh, what a lonely boy

Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver and she shows it off to all her friends
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her, so she caged him up with cyclone fence
Along came Lou with the old baboon and said, "I recognize that smell
Smells like seven layers, that beaver eatin' Taco Bell"
Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans and he travelled with the carnival shows
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars and he candied up his nose
He got wind of the big brown beaver So he thought he'd take himself a peek
But the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis
And he ain't pissed for a week (and a half)
Wynona took her big brown beaver and she stuck him up in the air
Said, "I sure do love this big brown beaver and I wish I did have a pair
Now the beaver once slept for seven days And it gave us all an awful fright
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch and the bastard tried to bite me
Wynona loved her big brown beaver and she stroked him all the time
She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her she might have a porcupine

Uh, quite a surprise
What an ingenious device
Boredom encompasses my time
I don't know what I should do
Indulging a moment of your time
Seldom the breeder of lies
But you won't believe that it's true
Uh, they take to the skies
Southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
Pinholes through cardboard at the Sun
Passing the bucks by one by one
Leaving nothing in return
Watching the majesty blow past
Speculating which will be the last
Savoring my piece of pie
Uh, there is no reprise
Uh, they're filling the skies
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm
S-s-s-southbound Pachyderm

[Instrumental]

In the year of our Lord
Call it 1994
A fine vintage of mimicry

There are those that take their sound
From someone else's toil
Liking to parrots you see

I've seen the likes of Kate Bush
And Van Morrison
Teaching the parrots to sing

Take a Zeppelin riff
And you alter it a bit
And make lots of money
It's called plagiarism

You want some of that cheese
Just take a big ol' bite
Careful not to choke on it please

Now here we go
It's called plagiarism

Questions deserve answers,
answers deserving action
What am I, of the populi?
I am but a fraction

Is there heaven, is there hell?
Is that tuna melt that I smell?
Come on

He stood in line with the rest
And waited got his chance
To take his place behind the glass
And watch the ladies dance

It's the nature of things
He stepped into the darkened space
The air was thick and warm
He drops the coins in one by one
The scene unfolds before him

He stands looking eye to thigh
As she looks down from above
Only to be recognized
As his former love

It's the nature of things

Del Davis sold a Christmas tree
Stood up to 8 feet tall
Season was lookin' mighty thin
He'd hoped to sell 'em all
Here he comes with a dollar in his hand
Represents the epitomized man
The boy liked rock 'n' roll
Seemed that's the way he paid his way
With the help of Del and them Doogs
There's a bit more joy this holiday
Here he comes?

Oh I can still remember
Jenny Hernando
She was my little lovely one
When I was seventeen.
I remember the day that she
Gave me her virginity
And then she gave it to everyone
In our vicinity

Oh I can still remember
Julie Tolentino
The dancing Filipino
We used to run around.
Her and Flouncin' Freddy
Were going hot and steady
Now she runs a dyke bar,
The biggest one in town

I can still remember my
Old friend Todd Squelati
I watching him snort a
Milkshake right up his nose
He slurped it up the left side
Blew it out the right side
How he ever kept it down
I will never know

Of course I still remember
Ol Flouncin' Freddy
We were pumping gas
Down at El Sobrante Shell
His Mustang was his pride and joy
He liked to dance the cowboy
Hanging out at Jack In the Box
But eat at Taco Bell

Used to come around here
To peddle his wares
A lot more takers now
The turkey "J"
You can taste the air
Around your face
His name was Barrest Jeffries
They picked him up twice
For cooking up amphetamine
Now he's on the tweek again
Drinking county prune
He doesn't mind so much
So we'd sit around the fire
Singing "Kumbaya"
"Kumbaya, " I said
On the tweek again
On the tweek again
On the tweek again
On the tweek again
On the tweek again
On the tweek again
On the tweek again
On the tweek again
On the tweek again

They headed southward from San Francisco
To be with Chuckles and the others
With electric in the air and peroxide in their hair
They looked like golden brothers

They drove a Datsun, an automatic
The radio blaring static
Made a face into the light and burst out laughing at the sight
The hysteria ensuing would dominate the night

From all the candy, the seats were sticky
As they were drawn into the Grapevine
Then "Introduce Yourself" came on
As the barreled through the fog
The demon puffing madly on a mentholated log

They were tired
They were sleepy
So they parked behind the Roxy
Adam went to use the phone
So they sat there all alone
When Adam's voice came beaming through on the radio
He started laughing, he started laughing
La da da
Hey, hey

Vive la France
Vive la France

[Instrumental]